wow, what a thread. I just really related to so much of it. I was a size 12 through high school, I was well toned and active. and I was fat compared to my size 6 friends. I was call petunia the pig. I was oinked at. I was called Dolly in reference to my large breasts. I was made to feel inferior in every way. at home an abusive stepfather call me piglet, pig, oink. etc. and once even felt the need to take a tape measure to my butt. I was called Bertha big butt. My butt is actually kinda small in comparison to my belly and breast. I felt like I deserved all of this. I liked food. I carried alot of anger for alot of years. I carried alot of hurt. I have a husband and family who love me no matter what. I have a husband who tells me I am good, and beautiful and smart and a good mother. Its just a shame that all that is part of my past. Its a shame that as an adult I am still scared to go to the grocery store or eat in public or apply for jobs. I now carry alot of fear . slowly I am moving through the fear and here on this site I have discovered hope. I am holding onto that hope with both hands. My friends percieve me as beauty ,funny, nuturing and loving. strangers despise me. Hostility is pointed in my direction . the only other people I have seen get this type of hostility from strangers are gay men.