I didn't ever think this kind of post would ever come up. So you will have to excuse me while I put this out in public.

I HATE being fat. I have been fat for almost my whole life. My mother said I started to gain weight in grade 1. Can't really remember. I too am one of those people who skips breakfast and usually lunch. I ate a standard size supper. I have been eating like this for about 10 years. I always put weight, never lost.

Being fat has caused me to be a very shy person. And a very depressed person. I tried booze, drugs, anti-depressants. Anything to raise my mood. I never have had a girl friend. (Well, I guess I did have one, she cheated on me within a week). I feel like I have missed out on so much of life. I am too shy to go dancing or talk to new people. Never really been invited to parties that my "friends" go to. I think that is because I might ruin their chances of getting a girl at the end of the night. I would have loved to play sports but my mind doesn't let me. Hey remember buddy, you are too fat to run!!!

My family always puzzeld my. Mom was always on my case about being big, but she would make me a peanut butter and honey sandwich on white bread to make me feel better when I was younger. ANd she never tried to help me lose it. Just liked to point out that I am fat. My dad always called me fats or chubs pretty much until he passed away. Bro and sis well, they are much older than me but they teased me a lot. My brother liked to pinch my man boobies.

They said high school and college should have been the best years of my life. Sometimes during those years I was almost suicidal. Why are people so cruel. Does it make them feel better about themselves or what? Right now I should be happy, I got a great job, a nice place with all the creature comforts. But the lonliness really sets in sometimes. And the lonliness I know sets in from being fat and having 0% self confidence.

I am glad this forum is here. I hope I didn't sound like I am feeling sorry for myself. It is stuff I have wanted to say for a long time but never knew where or when. On this diet I am trying that old adage, "Today is the first day of the rest of your life." I have lost some weight but the mirror still scares me.

Thanks for listening.

Cableguy