The very heart of darkness....
 

It's been years I haven't seen the light I been put in a cave and lock away for along time I thought it would have been forever but I was wrong...this cave was myself my inner me I start my story when I was young I always been a big kid no one ever like me I was made fun of because on the way I look I was made fun of by everyone family friends and even myself...my dad past away 6 years ago it really hurt me. so I ate myself to death I could go out with anyone because no one wanted to be seen with me yes I was fat and very tall guy so I curse myself for being born I hated myself I ask God why he made me...but it was all in vain so I got fatter and fatter then I meet this girl she was very beautiful she lived in korea she loved me I know she did and still does...so I thought I had someone who isnt afriad of me so we went out for over 3 years (online) and we meet yes I know I cant find a girl around where I live every girl around here call me fatty or the name of that fat guy on austian powers well it was christmas so I was happy for really once in my life me and her talk well we was in guatemala she said she cant love me like I am now I dont even love myself how can she love me. then it hit me the darkness the hate the evil I let grow againest myself is grow ever greater I didnt even know it was there so we cried and she said I need to change I said your the same as them you dont understand me....so I return to the states to my dead end job to my little stupid city...then I went deeper into the darkness of food and lonlyness and all kinds of candy sode pops pizzas I was eating 3 large pizzas so I grew fatter and fatter I went from a size 56 pants to a 58 and to a 60 and was going to 62 so one day I seen a light way am I letting myself destory myself I said never again never again so I got the power deep inside of me then on june 1st of 2005 I went on the low carb diet I went back to college its been 247 days on my diet I wieght 360pds now I am 240pds I went from a size 60 pants and now 48 and going to a 46 size pants! I see the light the ones who make fun of me now look at me and asking how am I doing it I never answer then well for this long story if you find yourself in the very heart of darkness and thinking you never get out you will believe in yourself never let the demons-people and yourself get you done nothing can stop you from being what you want you to be BELIEVE IT! :)

Good for you Ginyurock! You pulled yourself up by the bootstraps and DID IT! You do have value and you are loved.

That's wonderful that you see the light after being in the dark for so long.
Congratulations! :Party: and well done!

Thanks so much for the inspiration to keep going. I have been struggling against many obstacles and it would be easy to give up, but I am pushing on.

Congrats to you on your success.

Well done to you!!!! You really are proof that if you WANT this enough, you can achieve anything!! Way to go!!!

Just looked at your pics and you look great!

Cissie

thanks everyone
 

thank you for reading my story I hope I can help you in anyway the darkness is very cold and very lonly take it from me I was in the heart of if and never will go back!

Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy!!! You are inspiring and I know you will be successful because you are taking time to think about yourself for once!!!! I hear where you are coming from and congratulate you on where you are going!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow--what a story. Yeah, I think we all know what you're talking about, but you expressed it very well. And Cissie is right, you are a good-looking man, and on your way to being a knock-out. You'll have the fight the girls off, and that's no line.

Don't ever give up on yourself.