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-   -   Venting Here! May NOT want to read this! (http://forum.lowcarber.org/showthread.php?t=290324)

Teena G. Tue, Mar-21-06 13:00

Venting Here! May NOT want to read this!
 
Hi all! :wave:

:help: Do any of you ever wake up just sick and tired of dealing with food?

I'm just so tired of this. Honestly!

I'm 51. I've been trying to "watch" what I eat and to eat a healthier diet for over 35 years. I have NEVER succeeded.

What in the world makes me think that I'm going to "succeed" this time?

I am just so very tired of having the majority of my day consumed with what does and does not go into my mouth.

Something as enjoyable as food - something that God has given us to enjoy and to be thankful for - has become my enemy.

When did this happen?

I am just SO tired of this.

I'm tired of this being the main thought when I wake up in the morning and go to bed at night. I'm tired of it being an issue at every holiday or family gathering (issue to me, not to anyone else, my family loves me).

I just read an article from a doctor who's grandmother lived to be 106. (Not that I'm looking to live one day past when God has ordained my life to end.) But, he talks about how sad it was that this woman who lived to be 106 on a "moderation" type of diet was "unsuccessful" because by the age of 90, she had hip problems.

This doctor pushes a vegetarian diet. I'm certainly not God, but I would have to assume that this doctor (the grandson of the woman who lived to be 106) will never see that age. Yet, to him, she was a "diet" failure because at the age of 90 she began to have health problems!

He talks about how she ate the smallest amounts of food. I can bet you that this woman who lived to be 106 never once spent a day worrying about what did and did not go into her mouth - just like both of my grandmothers who lived to be in their 80's.

I sometimes just have to wonder what I am doing with myself - other than making myself crazy. :daze:

I would like to know anyone in their 90's who doesn't have some health issues....our bodies just plain wear out!

I just don't know if I can spend another day like this.....then, maybe, just maybe, this is ALL hormonal! :idea:

I desperately need some help here. :agree:

Oh, well. I will try to have a better day. :rose:

kimski Tue, Mar-21-06 14:13

Wow, that's a good vent. OK, I am going to try to help. I get feeling liek that sometimes too.

Then I kind of take control, step outside of myself for a minute and NOT ALLOW myself to let food run my life. After all, it is only food. We are carnivores just like other animals and have to eat....period. I try to stop quickly and get my mind on something else and before you know it, it's dinner time. I also remind myself of how good it feels to go without eating until I AM ACTUALLY HUNGRY. Mind you, it doesn't always work. But that hunger feeling you get is a motivator for me. I hate the feeling of being full, stuffed, and lethargic but when I am not bloated and stuffed I have more energy.

Remind yourself to wait until you are hungry to eat then simply turn your back on those bad feelings with food. Replace them with something you enjoy...quickly. It's a relationship and you should be in control! You can do it! You will be much happier in the short term and long term so you can't lose, except one pound at a time....one day at a time!

Teena G. Tue, Mar-21-06 15:15

Could it really be that easy?
 
Hi KimSki - :wave:

You eat when you're hungry and stop when you're full. :thup:

Is it really that easy for you? :q: :q: :q:

Dr. S. suggests eating 5 meals a day in order to keep the hormones in check.

I'm just so sick of all of these stupid food rules.

Ugh! Life! :spin:

m1whowaits Tue, Mar-21-06 18:50

I look at it as food is my fuel to get me to where I want to go. I do not live to eat. I eat to live. Some days it's just basic fuel. Some days it's a high art form. Whatever to suit my mood. I know how I feel when I do not fuel myself properly. I don't ever want to feel that way. Make a very basic list of what you like that is necessary to fit your plan. Make a bunch of servings of things at once, individually package them in the fridge and pull out what you need, when you need it. Then go out and LIVE!!!

I like to make cassarole type things with the proper balance of protein, fat, veggies and carbs. I love my crock pot. Throw it all in, it's all done at once. I have 2 meals and a couple of lunches all done at the same time!!

Cavendish Wed, Mar-22-06 03:59

Hey Teena--

I know it is discouraging. I feel the same way a lot of the time, but I try not to let it ruin the pleasure I get from eating. I fully admit I am a hedonist when it comes to food. I love the taste and textures of so many things.
On the upside though, I have developed a very healthy appetite for "diet" information. I am constantly reading about diet and nutrition, and wish that I had the money to go back to school and get a Nutrition degree right now!!
I suppose I am mildly obssessed with the concept of dieting. Some days though, I just want to not worry about it...

I do have a couple of strategies that seem to help. Like M1whowaits suggested, I have a group of recipes that I love, and I cook often and then eat them for a couple of days--when my DH is home, he will usually finish my casseroles up very quickly when I am not looking, so I always keep certain things around that I can make quickly (to replace what I planned for dinner if he happens to eat it before I get home). One of our standbys is caesar salad with chicken or steak.

The five meals a day thing is great in theory, but requires a lot of organization. I have several dishes that I make that I could eat maybe as 1/2 serving with some cut-up veggies, or fruit, but it gets kind of boring to be honest. I love Linda's Low Carb Recipe site for casserole ideas--I find that if I eat a lot of fat, I feel full and don't get as much of an urge to eat all the time--also, when my fat intake is around 60-70% of my total calories my calories actually go down--I may eat 1400 calories over the course of a day and feel fine when I have several helpings of a particularly high-fat casserole.

Of course in order to keep track of stuff like that you have to be fairly obssessive and enter all your info into some tool like Fitday consistently. At this point, I have resigned myself to being a "diet addict", so I suppose I will continue to be anal about it all. Supposedly after a while it becomes second nature, and you don't find yourself thinking about it all the time. Here in Germany, and even in France I have noticed that for the most part people are brought up with the idea that you should be able to eat what you want, but in small amounts, and not limit yourself by "dieting". (That being said, Gemany has the biggest diet industry in Europe, followed by Great Britain and France.) I for one can't eat a decadent pastry one day and not want another one the next day--maybe some day though...

Hope you are feeling less frustrated today!

AFwife Wed, Mar-22-06 04:57

Quote:
Originally Posted by Teena G.
Hi all! :wave:

:help: Do any of you ever wake up just sick and tired of dealing with food?

I'm just so tired of this. Honestly!

I'm 51. I've been trying to "watch" what I eat and to eat a healthier diet for over 35 years. I have NEVER succeeded.

What in the world makes me think that I'm going to "succeed" this time?

I am just so very tired of having the majority of my day consumed with what does and does not go into my mouth.

Something as enjoyable as food - something that God has given us to enjoy and to be thankful for - has become my enemy.

When did this happen?

I am just SO tired of this.

I'm tired of this being the main thought when I wake up in the morning and go to bed at night. I'm tired of it being an issue at every holiday or family gathering (issue to me, not to anyone else, my family loves me).

I just read an article from a doctor who's grandmother lived to be 106. (Not that I'm looking to live one day past when God has ordained my life to end.) But, he talks about how sad it was that this woman who lived to be 106 on a "moderation" type of diet was "unsuccessful" because by the age of 90, she had hip problems.

This doctor pushes a vegetarian diet. I'm certainly not God, but I would have to assume that this doctor (the grandson of the woman who lived to be 106) will never see that age. Yet, to him, she was a "diet" failure because at the age of 90 she began to have health problems!

He talks about how she ate the smallest amounts of food. I can bet you that this woman who lived to be 106 never once spent a day worrying about what did and did not go into her mouth - just like both of my grandmothers who lived to be in their 80's.

I sometimes just have to wonder what I am doing with myself - other than making myself crazy. :daze:

I would like to know anyone in their 90's who doesn't have some health issues....our bodies just plain wear out!

I just don't know if I can spend another day like this.....then, maybe, just maybe, this is ALL hormonal! :idea:

I desperately need some help here. :agree:

Oh, well. I will try to have a better day. :rose:


I feel exactly the same way. :there:

BBQgal Wed, Mar-22-06 05:27

Hi Teena,
I totally understand that is why I joined 12 step to keep from feeling this way all the time. I am 50 so I have been dealing with this along time too.
I don't see the person of 90 as being unsucessful getting sick at that age, most people don't even reach that age. the woman that lived that long didn't worry about those things because there was more real food and not so much junk food when she was younger. Years ago people were more active too.

I plan ahead, weigh and measure my food, commit it to my sponsor and let it go. I don't dwell on it and take it one day at a time.
Hang in there I know you will find a Lc way of life you will be comfortable with and can live with.


Annie

Momto3boys Wed, Mar-22-06 08:51

I know exactly how you fee!! I am only 33, but I feel like I have been consumed with food for the past 10 years straight. Whether it was Weight Watchers, Suzanne Somers, or eating whatever I wanted and gaining lots of weight--I still think about food all the time!

One of the reasons I came back to Schwarzbein is because I had had it with dieting and I told my best friend that I was DONE with all of it. I figure I am going to eat healthy (because I do think that TSP is the best way to eat) and if I lose weight, then great, if I don't, then so be it. I'll just be a 16 for the rest of my life.

I was watching the Today show yesterday and they had a woman who, while pregnant with her quadruplets, decided that she was going to run a marathon after having the babies. I think the babies are about 1 1/2 now and she just finished her first marathon this past weekend (can't remember which one). All this to say that she looks to be at least a size 16--maybe more. So you have to wonder how someone can train for a freakin marathon (she even had a marathon trainer who worked with her) and still be that size. My best friend is about 5'4 and 155lbs. She really wants to lose 20-30 lbs. So this time last year, she started doing a boot camp (run by a real marine) 3 times a week. Guess what--she still weighs 155 a year later (and no, her size has not changed--still has a tummy and wears the same jeans). I guess it just makes me wonder if some of us are destined to be a certain size. If we look at the Victorian era or the women that Michaelangelo painted, we can clearly see that a 16 or 18 seemed to be the norm. Shoot, we can even look at Marilyn Monroe!

I just really want to stop hating my body and think of it more as a temple that grew three amazing little bodies and then nourished them, on it's own, for years and years afterwards (yes, my three year old is *still* nursing! :) I do want to exercise and eat "well" so that I don't feel like I am harming my body or causing myself to gain weight because I am lazy or sedentary, but I also don't want to spend every second of every day obsessing about food! I find TSP to be very easy to follow without really having to think (as long as you aren't cutting out any major stuff like gluten)--especially since we eat out so much and I can always find a steak, baked potato and salad out.

Please don't feel alone here--I think most women who are constantly trying to find "the perfect size" feel the same way you do! I just wonder how our "perfect size" is determined!

Ksrt Wed, Mar-22-06 10:41

Teena,

Don't feel bad about venting, you could have picked those words right out of my brain a hundred times! I am also sick of it all. If you look for the deeper meaning in Schwarzbein's message, you will find that she doesn't believe in counting and measuring food ( only if you are insulin resistant does she make you count carbs). She actually said it is not something thin people do and discouraged it. You go by your hunger but if your hormones are off your hunger can be giving you false messages, so you have to count some. But her basic message is that dieting does not work and damages your metabolism. So, momto3boys, it might not be that people are predestined to be a certain size, but that the sum total of everything they do has damaged them and what they are told to do to get out of it damages them more. To believe running a marathon will result in you getting slim, you have to believe that the more exercise you do, the better. But Schwarzbein says that too much exercise will raise your cortisol and make you more insulin resistant because your body is trying not to let you use yourself up too fast. So now, I find that I expect people who follow dieting and exercise advice often end up being fat because they were the people who followed the advice in the first place.

I often think about thin people who eat whatever and they never give food a second thought. Do they always eat the healthiest things? I don't think so. I just think their body works to change what they eat into energy. Dieting is a work around for a body that is not changing food into energy. So if you look at it this way, Schwarzbein is right that you have to get healthy to lose weight, not lose weight to get healthy. But it is so much easier to say than to do.

I have been sick the last week and lost my ability to taste and smell. I then realized how much we eat for taste, even healthy food. With no taste you don't want food at all but you would still need it to be healthy. Having no taste tunes you into eating just for hunger. My problem has never been cravings, my problem is getting hungry at all. With no taste and no hunger, I have to force myself to eat, because using this as an excuse to diet is very tempting.

KSRT

Teena G. Wed, Mar-22-06 15:14

Another vent...hope you're smiling
 
Hi all! :wave:

Well, I logged on this afternoon to find all of these wonderful, kind, supportive responses....and it just brings me to tears. Thank you all SO much.

I'm not feeling any differently today. I am really sick of all of this (can you tell ;) ) !.

All of this hideous contradictory information. Everywhere I turn, I find something that contradicts the very last thing I read.

I went through this several years ago and decided to give up dieting altogether. It was the happiest time of my life. I lasted 11 weeks, before I caved in and went back to diet rules and regulations imposed on me by health professionals seeking to make a buck off of my misery. I don't want to sound angry, because then all you will hear is my anger. I'm not angry, just so unbelievably frustrated with this overload of contradictory information.

During those glorious 11 weeks, I ate ONLY when I was hungry. I waited until I was truly belly hungry - not just wanting to eat. If I hadn't gotten there yet, I would find something to do until I was truly hungry....and before I knew it, it was dinner time.

I was so thankful for each and every bite and really savored my food. I only ate until I was just satisfied enough to stop eating. THAT was the hardest part for me, because once I started eating, I found it hard to stop.....especially if I was coming from a place of being truly, truly hungry.

In the beginning, I found that I was overeating a bit because it was just so relaxing to not have to dwell on do's and don'ts. But as the weeks went on, I began to master this. I basically ate two small meals a day - with a wee bite here and there. I was amazed to find how "little" food could satisfy. My goal was to see not how much I could justifiably eat in one day, but how little I really needed to eat to feel well - mentally as well as physically.

In 11 weeks, I lost 21 pounds, effortlessly. Even though I was eating very little food, I was so content. And the ONLY exercising I did was gentle walking out in the fresh air - because - of all things - I had the energy to do it and I WANTED TO! Amazing!

I'm going to do something that goes against my nature here and post a few things I have recently found on the web without permission to quote, but I'm at the end of my rope.

Here's one statement that I found profoundly eye opening:

Perfection May Not Be Ideal—the Theory of Hormesis
There may be some benefits from being a little bad. Hormesis is the phenomenon in which low doses of otherwise harmful substances and activities cause improvements in the body’s function. Exposure to mild stresses for brief periods may challenge the body to adapt to better maintain and repair itself—which prolongs life. This may explain why moderate drinkers have less heart disease and live longer than complete abstainers. The stress of moderate exercise may work to improve health by the same mechanism. Even low doses of radiation improve lifespan in animal experiments (whereas high doses kill).

Here is another one:
The first description of calorie restriction to prolong life was of an Italian nobleman, Luigi Cornaro, who in 1550 wrote The Art of Living Long. Suffering at the age of 35 from diseases of over-nutrition—including gout—he started a restricted diet where he limited his food to 14 ounces a day and cut way back on his meat intake. He lived to almost 100 years. He provides an example of how this therapy can be started later in life with profound benefits. His main argument was that the particular foods one eats are not as important as the quantity.

These two statements fall right in line with what I experienced during that 11-week period.

I saw another article recently about how Japanese people relate to food. They are taught - from birth - that you only eat to 80% full. They just don't ever eat to "full," and they never go on "diets." According to this article, they are amazed when they come to America to see how MUCH we typically eat, and they are perpelexed about our "diet mentality."

Also, after going back to diet rules and regulations, I have never fully implemented another program into my life. It's been over two years now. With all I was reading about health and nutrition, even though I was feeling great, I talked myself right back into the diet industry trap. Another 24 months of daily misery has followed, and not one full day of adhering to what I would deem a "healthy" diet - and with a mind obsessing about this and that.

I think the "health" of my mind is of utmost importance at this point, because I am as frustrated as all get out. Have I told you that? LOL!

I'm at the point that even if I didn't feel better by just eating whatever I wanted in small amounts, it's worth it to me not to have to live another day, not to mention the rest of my life, obsessing over these issues.

I am just so sick of it. Have I told you that? :p

I just wish I could hug all of you. I thought I was losing my mind....still have to wonder? :D

I give you this really interesting example in my life. I'm a big Coke drinker - but ONLY when I am telling myself that, for health reasons, I should cut these things out of my life and just accept the fact that it is better if I never touch them again.

However, I can have two cases of pop outside in the garage without even a thought of drinking one unless I just want one, and even then will only drink about 4 oz.

I was amazed by this when I first started just trying to eat in moderation, because I thought Coke would be the biggest issue. It wasn't. I didn't care if I drank it or not, because it was there if I wanted it. I actually found that something I thought I would never be able to live without had lost its power over me by just thinking about it differently. This is really amazing, when you think about it. I thought I was a cola addict. I learned that I wasn't a cola addict, I was a diet addict. When I took the diet mentality away, the Coke mattered little.

Just let me think that I should never have another one, and I start gulping them down like an animal in dread and fear about to face a famine of humongous proportions. My husband will say, every time.....you're thinking about dieting, aren't you? I ask him how he can tell??? He'll tell me that it's because I can't seem to stop eating and that I'm drinking Coke like a woman dying of thirst. Oh, he knows me SO well!

I mean, I even stopped obsessing about the scales when I was doing this. I played a little game with myself. Knowing how vital my health was by NOT overeating and because I believed it to be my last hope - if this was what I was going to do - I would only allow myself to weigh myself after I had spent three days where I knew in my heart that I had NOT indulged in overeating. Low and behold, I would find that I had dropped another pound. I also found, though, that if I did have a few days where I would indulge in too much food, the weight would, of course, come right back on. So, it was crucial to my health to NOT overeat. I was enjoying life so much then, it didn't seem to matter that I wasn't popping on and off the scale every day.

Now I read in SP how detrimental it is to wait until hunger....that hunger has nothing to do with it if you have a damaged metabolism. Well, the guy in 1550 did quite well, didn't he? He lived to be 102 and died peacefully in his sleep. I mean, who in the WORLD do you believe?

Have I told you that I'm just sick of this? :D I really am laughing at myself and this stupid predicament that I am in.

I just read a book entitled "The Diet Myth." A very good read....he basically points out that after all of that dieting, the one who is eating "healthy" outlives the one who isn't by about 2 years! Amazing!

Quality of life comes into this, too, however, quality of life also depends on mental balance - something which I woefully lack in trying to stick to a dietary regime of any kind, outside of just following the leading of my body that seems to know when it's hungry and what it wants to eat. My part (with the help of God) is maintaining a lifestyle of moderation.

Thanks for letting me vent....even just being honest about all of this has helped my mood just a little bit today - but I'm still venting!!! Can you tell LOL!

Please know how thankful I am to know that someone - anyone - is going through this, too.

I just wish I had an answer for today.

If you all would prefer that I not "stir" this up....please let me know.

This is a SP message board. I don't want to break the rules here. I respect all of you more than you will ever, ever know.

Is it possible to stay on here and talk about NOT following any plan, but one of my own making???? Maybe a "moderation" thread? :idea:

I think I'll go out to the chicken coop and listen to their woes for now. They love to talk to me. Chickens are SO funny! (Can you guess why I can't eat chicken? Their fresh eggs, however, are absolutely wonderful!)

Thanks everyone and love to all :rose:

Edited this to apolgoze for writing a book! Oh my! If you get to the end of this!

santabarb Wed, Mar-22-06 18:40

Dear Fellow Schwarzbeiners and Teena--

It is arresting to me that it is not called the Schwarzbein Diet--it's called the Schwarzbein Principle.

The principle is that you are moderate and balanced as much as possible. You don't just have a piece of bread and butter, or a handful grapes--you take a moment to think, "Where can I introduce some protein and fats here to keep this carb company?"

Full fat cottage cheese can come in very handy for those moments! (I had not touched it in years). Also, Greek full fat yogurt helps out--it's plain, but tastes like cream, not sour and watery at all.

I don't think I'll ever do another diet, I am so sick and tired of the anxiety and deprivation that goes with it.

This is healthy. :thup: No food group made by God is disallowed here. This is a healthy way to eat. Try to view it from that perspective and it's less stressful.

Meanwhile, I'm still at the bottom of Everest looking up! Step by step I go.

Tazzieone Wed, Mar-22-06 20:43

Venting
 
I hear ya on that one!!!! I was feeling that way too just the other day, I worry all day long about what to eat and when to eat and if I am eating to much of this or too littl eof that arg!!! I am hoping that will get better now that I don't feel like I am gonna starve to death :)

Tazzie

Cavendish Thu, Mar-23-06 03:18

Moderation Thread
 
Teena--

I think a moderation thread is a great idea, but I don't know the rules of the forum well enough to determine where we could fit that in. There are threads about fasting, and NeanderThin--which aren't specifically low-carb, so I don't see why we couldn't start one--just not sure where...

Have you read any of the so-called "french diet" books?
They are pretty much all about moderation and enjoyment of food. Nothing is forbidden...they concentrate more on how to eat "properly" for enjoyment and pleasure. Anne Barone's website (Chic and Slim) is very interesting, and Will Clowther has a book and website on the subject, and the newest one would be Mireille Guiliano's "French Women Don't Get Fat". These are all written more as memoirs, (except maybe Will Clowther's)--very good books, full of advice, and at the very least full of good recipes. Most of what they teach is similar in some ways to what Dr. S says--except for the need to eat whether you are hungry or not...I for one do not follow that part of her program too well--I don't like to feel "stuffed".
(Michel Montignac also re-released his book "The French Diet" recently, but it is more of an actual diet guide and would be considered a low GI diet basically.)

OK, so as you can see, my diet-addict side has come out in full force...I apologize. If you do start a moderation thread, I would love to read it, and contribute. I don't see why moderation and low-carb can't go hand in hand. For me, they seem to (when I can actually control myself and be moderate about, oh say chocolate for example...) -- :yum:

Ksrt Thu, Mar-23-06 10:14

Hi Teena,

I have trouble with the concept that you have to eat when you are not hungry also. What I tried to do was see how much food I would eat following my hunger and then try to spread it out to 5 meals a day and try to keep them balanced. I did this because I'd rather eat with my family than at any odd times. But some of my meals are small and some are larger so I do factor in my hunger. For example, I'll judge whether I want 1 or 2 or even 3 eggs and adjust the carbohydrates accordingly. This way, I'm keeping my blood sugar stable. You get hungry when you are losing sugar to your brain. If you don't feel hungry, your body thinks it is doing ok. This is good to a point; if you go a long time past your hunger signal, then your body will break down protein into glucose to feed your brain. That's when it becomes bad. So my theory is that as long as you really eat when you are hungry and you try to keep it real food and balanced, you won't have a problem following your hunger. Some people don't get very hungry because their metabolism is so down-shifted; these people can be in danger of eating too little if they follow their hunger.

KSRT

p.s. Were you the one who was trying the glucofast? I would be interested in how that's working out for you!

picaboo Thu, Mar-23-06 10:17

........."been in your shoes".....
...gave up on food.....I knew in my old age that- nothing and nothing - will work for me for long time........So, I gave up on food - totally!!! - and focuse only on been fit, healthy and active.....started by just walking around...kept on walking.....walk, walk - added some jog in between and kept on walking-joging and last join the gym.....till for some reason things got better....cant say they are perfect but I eat now for my health for my youth (gray hair here):-) and for my beauty:-)..and that's what motivate me!........I dont care anymore even what other people say or think (use to care much in the past) and if I am fat or heavy or what ever...I am happy with myself much and happy been healthy,young and shall I add beautiful too:-)))) that food is not that of a big deal anymore and I will always love love food till I die......lol....so that way for me life much nicer, easier and...beautiful ..........wish you only the best and in away the same.........take care.


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