motivation for weight loss - help please, for a couple

[Jeff]

Hello: we're married couple, 48yo's, wanting more energy, & to
"look & feel better" I began bike riding, ski machine,
weights, used adkins diet, dropped 30 #s, the dr. says my labs
are "fantastic" She doesn't like adkins, as the way-low carbs
don't agree w/ her; she uses treadmill & some weights, but
after a few weeks, doesnt' like the seeming low results, so
sort of gives up; on other hand, she thinks any wt. loss must
be achieved slowly, or it won't last, or won't be any good,
or...... I try to encourage, but she doesn't want my "help"
(too pushy?) she's bummed because I lost it quickly, & have
kept it off (9 mos. now) suggestions from anyone would be
appreciated; saw an ad for "the firm" she seemed interested in
that, is it anygood? or worth the money?

[Bob G]

"Jeff" <jeffNOSPAM@kellings.net> wrote in message
news:3dd7dd01.6067812@news.commspeed.net...
> Hello: we're married couple, 48yo's, wanting more energy, &
> to "look & feel better" I began bike riding, ski machine,
> weights, used adkins diet, dropped 30 #s, the dr. says my
> labs are "fantastic" She doesn't like adkins, as the way-low
> carbs don't agree w/ her; she uses treadmill & some weights,
> but after a few weeks, doesnt' like the seeming low results,
> so sort of gives up; on other hand, she thinks any wt. loss
> must be achieved slowly, or it won't last, or won't be any
> good, or...... I try to encourage, but she doesn't want my
> "help" (too pushy?) she's bummed because I lost it quickly,
> & have kept it off (9 mos. now) suggestions from anyone
> would be appreciated;

Stop referring to your wife as "she".

> saw an ad for "the firm" she seemed interested in that, is
> it anygood? or worth the money?

[Denise How]

In article <3dd7dd01.6067812@news.commspeed.net>, Jeff
<jeffNOSPAM@kellings.net> wrote:

> Hello: we're married couple, 48yo's, wanting more energy, &
> to "look & feel better" I began bike riding, ski machine,
> weights, used adkins diet, dropped 30 #s, the dr. says my
> labs are "fantastic" She doesn't like adkins, as the way-low
> carbs don't agree w/ her; she uses treadmill & some weights,
> but after a few weeks, doesnt' like the seeming low results,
> so sort of gives up; on other hand, she thinks any wt. loss
> must be achieved slowly, or it won't last, or won't be any
> good, or...... I try to encourage, but she doesn't want my
> "help" (too pushy?) she's bummed because I lost it quickly,
> & have kept it off (9 mos. now) suggestions from anyone
> would be appreciated; saw an ad for "the firm" she seemed
> interested in that, is it anygood? or worth the money?

Here's my advice, since you asked: let your wife decide how
and when and whether she will lose weight. Nobody ever lost
weight because their spouse kept pushing diets and suggestions
at them. The commitment required to stick to an exercise
program for the long term must come from within.

--
Denise denise dot howard at attbi dot com ACE and AFAA
certified fitness instructor AFAA step certified

[Ovum]

An instructor I know once had a guy ask her a similar
question. He wanted to know how to motivate his wife to work
out. His perception of his wife was that she sat around the
house all day.

After further questioning, the instructor discovered that the
couple had SEVEN kids -- all under the age of 10.

Yup, she just "sat around the house all day."

Good thing for him his wife didn't have more strength and
energy. She might have wrung her husband's neck.

------------------------------------------------

Step Two: "Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves
could restore us to sanity."

[Denise How]

In article <20021117200915.21030.00005774@mb-fx.aol.com>, Ovum
<ovum@aol.com> wrote:

> An instructor I know once had a guy ask her a similar
> question. He wanted to know how to motivate his wife to work
> out. His perception of his wife was that she sat around the
> house all day.
>
> After further questioning, the instructor discovered that
> the couple had SEVEN kids -- all under the age of 10.
>
> Yup, she just "sat around the house all day."
>
> Good thing for him his wife didn't have more strength and
> energy. She might have wrung her husband's neck.

Great story!

--
Denise denise dot howard at attbi dot com ACE and AFAA
certified fitness instructor AFAA step certified

[Rich Johns]

"Jeff" <jeffNOSPAM@kellings.net> wrote in message
news:3dd7dd01.6067812@news.commspeed.net...
> Hello: we're married couple, 48yo's, wanting more energy, &
> to "look & feel better" I began bike riding, ski machine,
> weights, used adkins diet, dropped 30 #s, the dr. says my
> labs are "fantastic" She doesn't like adkins, as the way-low
> carbs don't agree w/ her; she uses treadmill & some weights,
> but after a few weeks, doesnt' like the seeming low results,
> so sort of gives up; on other hand, she thinks any wt. loss
> must be achieved slowly, or it won't last, or won't be any
> good, or...... I try to encourage, but she doesn't want my
> "help" (too pushy?) she's bummed because I lost it quickly,
> & have kept it off (9 mos. now) suggestions from anyone
> would be appreciated; saw an ad for "the firm" she seemed
> interested in that, is it anygood? or worth the money?
>

Motivation comes from within. She needs to decide that she
needs to exercise, and change her diet. Now, you can provide
the opportunity for her to motivate herself. My opportunity
was provided by my Doctor. (Avoiding an early death did it!)

Once she gets really motivated, then she needs to find the
exercise that she can enjoy, and do every day. Walking is
good, but if she doesn't like it, there is no way she will
continue to do it. Does she like to dance? If so, take her
out, every day to some sort of dance. (It would be good for
you too!) Does she like tennis, raquetball, any sports game?
Get her into a league. If it is bowling, walk to the bowling
center, and walk back. Whatever it is, find it, and do it with
her. You can do your exercise in addition, but if she needs
you with her, go.

As to the diet, it is likely she simply needs to learn to
cook in a low fat, low sugar format, and rebalance the
foods to reflect her body's needs. Watch the calories, in a
rounded fashion (as compared to specific calories per
item). She should eat around the needed calories to be her
desired weight.

Rich

[Jeff]

"Rich Johnson" <richj@remove.this.tairedd.com> wrote:

>
>"Jeff" <jeffNOSPAM@kellings.net> wrote in message
>news:3dd7dd01.6067812@news.commspeed.net...
>> Hello: we're married couple, 48yo's, wanting more energy, &
>> to "look & feel better" I began bike riding, ski machine,
>> weights, used adkins diet, dropped 30 #s, the dr. says my
>> labs are "fantastic" She doesn't like adkins, as the
>> way-low carbs don't agree w/ her; she uses treadmill & some
>> weights, but after a few weeks, doesnt' like the seeming
>> low results, so sort of gives up; on other hand, she thinks
>> any wt. loss must be achieved slowly, or it won't last, or
>> won't be any good, or...... I try to encourage, but she
>> doesn't want my "help" (too pushy?) she's bummed because I
>> lost it quickly, & have kept it off (9 mos. now)
>> suggestions from anyone would be appreciated; saw an ad for
>> "the firm" she seemed interested in that, is it anygood? or
>> worth the money?
>>
>
>Motivation comes from within. She needs to decide that she
>needs to exercise, and change her diet. Now, you can provide
>the opportunity for her to motivate herself. My opportunity
>was provided by my Doctor. (Avoiding an early death did it!)
>
>Once she gets really motivated, then she needs to find the
>exercise that she can enjoy, and do every day. Walking is
>good, but if she doesn't like it, there is no way she will
>continue to do it. Does she like to dance? If so, take her
>out, every day to some sort of dance. (It would be good for
>you too!) Does she like tennis, raquetball, any sports game?
>Get her into a league. If it is bowling, walk to the bowling
>center, and walk back. Whatever it is, find it, and do it
>with her. You can do your exercise in addition, but if she
>needs you with her, go.
>
>As to the diet, it is likely she simply needs to learn to
>cook in a low fat, low sugar format, and rebalance the
>foods to reflect her body's needs. Watch the calories, in a
>rounded fashion (as compared to specific calories per
>item). She should eat around the needed calories to be her
>desired weight.
>
>Rich
>
>
Rich: Thanks for the constructive feedback: we all know that
motivation comes from within, I guess what I'm really looking
for is "how" to encourage..... it's exactly the same, Exactly,
as the friend who says frequently they want to stop smoking,
stop drinking, etc, etc, they won't do it until they make that
decision; yet, it's not a friend who won't try to "encourage"
them toward that end (if "encourage" is the right word) I
think your suggestion of "do it with her" might be the best...
Thanks! Jeff

[Rich Johns]

"Jeff" <jeffNOSPAM@kellings.net> wrote in message
news:3dd90d24.83927140@news.commspeed.net...
> "Rich Johnson" <richj@remove.this.tairedd.com> wrote:
>
> >
> >"Jeff" <jeffNOSPAM@kellings.net> wrote in message
> >news:3dd7dd01.6067812@news.commspeed.net...
> >> Hello: we're married couple, 48yo's, wanting more energy,
> >> & to "look & feel better"
Snip of previous posts

> >>
> >
> >Motivation comes from within. She needs to decide that she
> >needs to exercise, and change her diet. Now, you can
> >provide the opportunity for
her
> >to motivate herself. My opportunity was provided by my
> >Doctor.
(Avoiding
> >an early death did it!)
> >
> >Once she gets really motivated, then she needs to find the
> >exercise that
she
> >can enjoy, and do every day. Walking is good, but if she
> >doesn't like
it,
> >there is no way she will continue to do it. Does she like
> >to dance? If
so,
> >take her out, every day to some sort of dance. (It would be
> >good for you too!) Does she like tennis, raquetball, any
> >sports game? Get her into
a
> >league. If it is bowling, walk to the bowling center, and
> >walk back. Whatever it is, find it, and do it with her. You
> >can do your exercise in addition, but if she needs you with
> >her, go.
> >
> >As to the diet, it is likely she simply needs to learn to
> >cook in a low
fat,
> >low sugar format, and rebalance the foods to reflect her
> >body's needs. Watch the calories, in a rounded fashion (as
> >compared to specific
calories
> >per item). She should eat around the needed calories to be
> >her desired weight.
> >
> >Rich
> >
> >
> Rich: Thanks for the constructive feedback: we all know that
> motivation comes from within, I guess what I'm really
> looking for is "how" to encourage..... it's exactly the
> same, Exactly, as the friend who says frequently they want
> to stop smoking, stop drinking, etc, etc, they won't do it
> until they make that decision; yet, it's not a friend who
> won't try to "encourage" them toward that end (if
> "encourage" is the right word) I think your suggestion of
> "do it with her" might be the best... Thanks! Jeff
>

Jeff:

With a lot of people, the encouragement is considered pushing.
The normal reaction is to push back, or worse, not take
ownership of the need to change. So, if she is like that,
tread lightly. Don't tell her why you are taking her dancing,
or to play a game. Just do it, and if she enjoys it continue
it. You know her best though, and will approach the
"encouragement" properly. I love my Wife, and she too needs to
lose weight and is working on it. She has been dieting, and
has lost some, but she is not doing any exercise.
Unfortunately, she won't do any exercise like walking, or
weights. She hates all forms of workout. (Can't even tell you
how many workout plans she has ordered. Everything from
"Sweating to the Oldies, to Yoga.) She does like to dance, so
I will be finding a way to get her to go with me to some dance
lessons as soon as the opportunity allows.

Rich

[Loudmusicf]

"Rich Johnson" <richj@remove.this.tairedd.com> wrote in
message news:<uti5c49gi9rvad@corp.supernews.com>...
> "Jeff" <jeffNOSPAM@kellings.net> wrote in message
> news:3dd90d24.83927140@news.commspeed.net...
> > "Rich Johnson" <richj@remove.this.tairedd.com> wrote:
> >
> > >
> > >"Jeff" <jeffNOSPAM@kellings.net> wrote in message
> > >news:3dd7dd01.6067812@news.commspeed.net...
> > >> Hello: we're married couple, 48yo's, wanting more
> > >> energy, & to "look & feel better"
> Snip of previous posts
>
> > >>
> > >
> > >Motivation comes from within. She needs to decide that
> > >she needs to exercise, and change her diet. Now, you can
> > >provide the opportunity for
> her
> > >to motivate herself. My opportunity was provided by my
> > >Doctor.
> (Avoiding
> > >an early death did it!)
> > >
> > >Once she gets really motivated, then she needs to find
> > >the exercise that
> she
> > >can enjoy, and do every day. Walking is good, but if she
> > >doesn't like
> it,
> > >there is no way she will continue to do it. Does she like
> > >to dance? If
> so,
> > >take her out, every day to some sort of dance. (It would
> > >be good for you too!) Does she like tennis, raquetball,
> > >any sports game? Get her into
> a
> > >league. If it is bowling, walk to the bowling center, and
> > >walk back. Whatever it is, find it, and do it with her.
> > >You can do your exercise in addition, but if she needs
> > >you with her, go.
> > >
> > >As to the diet, it is likely she simply needs to learn to
> > >cook in a low
> fat,
> > >low sugar format, and rebalance the foods to reflect her
> > >body's needs. Watch the calories, in a rounded fashion
> > >(as compared to specific
> calories
> > >per item). She should eat around the needed calories to
> > >be her desired weight.
> > >
> > >Rich
> > >
> > >
> > Rich: Thanks for the constructive feedback: we all know
> > that motivation comes from within, I guess what I'm really
> > looking for is "how" to encourage..... it's exactly the
> > same, Exactly, as the friend who says frequently they want
> > to stop smoking, stop drinking, etc, etc, they won't do it
> > until they make that decision; yet, it's not a friend who
> > won't try to "encourage" them toward that end (if
> > "encourage" is the right word) I think your suggestion of
> > "do it with her" might be the best... Thanks! Jeff
> >
>
> Jeff:
>
> With a lot of people, the encouragement is considered
> pushing. The normal reaction is to push back, or worse, not
> take ownership of the need to change. So, if she is like
> that, tread lightly. Don't tell her why you are taking her
> dancing, or to play a game. Just do it, and if she enjoys it
> continue it. You know her best though, and will approach the
> "encouragement" properly. I love my Wife, and she too needs
> to lose weight and is working on it. She has been dieting,
> and has lost some, but she is not doing any exercise.
> Unfortunately, she won't do any exercise like walking, or
> weights. She hates all forms of workout. (Can't even tell
> you how many workout plans she has ordered. Everything from
> "Sweating to the Oldies, to Yoga.) She does like to dance,
> so I will be finding a way to get her to go with me to some
> dance lessons as soon as the opportunity allows.
>
> Rich

Feeling the same way myself, I have found that once you start
eating healthy first, the weight starts to come off narturally
- you feel much better about yourself. Then the motivation to
excersise and keep the weight off happens naturally.