Getting so fustrated with my Teens

[Lessara]

Actually its more with their schools, friends, and their father.

My children handle carbs like I do... poorly. They eat carbs and their sugar jerks way up and when it crashes they get moody, headachy and such. More so than normal kids their age which is 12 and 15.

My problem is this.
My daughter loves low carbing at home, but is constently being told by her school and her dad that low carbing isn't healthy and she is just so unsure. And because the school and her dad don't believe in it, they give her candy and carb treats all the time! So now she's gaining weight due to being on a high fat diet along with sugar! She's so disappointed about her weight. She's 181 at 5'3". I'm so worried about her.

My son doesn't like meat except hamburger and hot dogs. He hates chicken, steak, and pork. He loves his carbs. If he had it his way he would have two bowls of cereal for breakfast, macaroni and cheese for lunch, and 4 hot dogs in rolls with beans.
He's very worried about his health and he needs to be. He hardly eats any veggies, he only wants apples and carrots.
He weights 131 at 5'3" which isn't bad, but as an adult he's going to have problems.

What can I do??

[KDavis]

I'm sorry to hear that you are being sabbotaged by your own husband. I can understand the school... they only have the government mentality when it comes to nutrition...

I don't mean to pry... but are you divorced? If not, you and your husband really need to get on the same page with regard to child raising... not just LC'ing.

Your daughter can not LC at home and get off of it away from home. She will continue to gain weight and she will continue to have the emotional pulls between pleasing you and agreeing with her father.

As for your son... he is too young to make this type of commitment (in my opinion!). I have a 14 year year old son whose eating habits are poor and I try to modify... but he is not ready to commit.

Good luck!
Karla

[SthrnTami]

Hi Lessara!

I could have written your post! We are in exactly the same boat. My son is 16, and at least 60 lbs. overweight. My daughter is almost 12 and just slightly overweight, but with eating habits that will soon send her weight shooting up (my son's weight really jumped in middle school).

I've debated with myself, and on another forum how to best approach this problem. On the one hand I feel guilty that I haven't set a better example and provided healthy foods and habits as they were growing up,and want to do better now. On the other hand, they are now at the age where I feel I need to respect their wishes and preferences.

What I've decided to do for now is to take a gradual approach. We're using up whatever foods we have on hand that include processed grains and sugars, and I'm simply replacing them with healthier alternatives. Rather than go full low-carb with them, I'm simply offering foods with low/no sugar and whole grains. I offer a couple of different veggies with protein at dinner and skip the bread/pastas, etc., except on rare occasions. They are complaining, but I just tell them this is important for ME.

Once a month or so we go out to dinner and I let them order whatever they want.

Eating lunch at school is a problem, and I'm not sure how to handle that, either. My son tried low-carbing last year, but could not eat the school lunch, and had no way to heat up food brought from home.

Anyway, my point is that rather than have the kids go low-carb, I'm simply not *enabling* their poor food habits at home. I hope my example will encourage a desire to make changes when they are away from home.

Good luck!

[Lessara]

What I've been doing is giving them whole milk yogurt for breakfast during the week, eggs on the weekends. For lunch they eat what they can at school and on the weekends, its low carb (though I allow my son to have a small bit of beans with his hot dogs). For dinner we are low carb. With a extra roll for the kids. My problem is they spend their lunch money on junk food sometimes, they both are getting better, I think they are seeing that they are getting too big (My daughter should be 110 and is 180 and my son is 138 and should be 120) with they way they want to eat, and they see me losing my weight on what I'm eating. :daze:
I'm thrilled they noticed :D

So tell me what low carb things do your kids like?
My daughter loves no LOVES celery with cream cheese or peanut butter. She likes cold cooked meat as well. My son likes the celery thing but also makes a hot dog for himself. I would like to know how your kids eat just to get ideas :D

[SthrnTami]

One thing we do is to lightly spread Alouette cheese (this is a flavored cheese spread) on cold cuts, roll up, then slice into pinwheels. Sometimes we add a slice of cheese as well. The kids and I also enjoy cucumber slices with a little cream cheese and some chives.

Fortunately, my kids both like plain grilled meat and fish, and plain buttered veggies or salad, so dinner is pretty easy. They do miss Italian and Mexican food. I'll have to get more adventurous and find some recipes that will give them more of those types of foods (we do fahitas or taco salad sometimes). Unfortunately, we still don't have all the junk out of the house, and they'll grab chips or popcorn when they get the chance.

[SthrnTami]

I forgot to mention that breakfast is the greatest challenge. I try to avoid bacon on a regular basis, so recently started using Canadian bacon. But they often don't have time for a sit-down meal, and want to grab something on the go, so I resorted to granola and Nutri-grain bars. Not ideal, but better than eating at school. Would you believe my son's High School offers Krispy Kreme donuts and Chick-fil-a biscuits in the morning??!!! And, they have sugared sodas in machines. Sheesh. I really have to get a letter off to the principal!

[saramun]

Gosh, that makes me so mad! My high school served us food so terrible that they could not possibly make any claims of good nutrition! One day they served peanut butter sandwiches (on cheap white bread). They ran out of bread, so the rest of us poor folks in line got two spoonfuls of peanut butter on our trays.

Anyhow, I went to another school with a cold cut/salad bar. We could make ourselves sub sandwiches and chef salads. This was great, very popular, and fits in with almost any diet. You should ask your principal for something like this.

[SthrnTami]

Great idea! Even better if it's combined with a taco station, since both would include shredded lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, etc. That would make it more of a draw for kids, don't you think? Of course, only low-carb if they choose to avoid the shells!

[saramun]

Hey! A combined taco/salad/cold cut bar is a great idea! That's something that would definately appeal to everyone.

I read an earlier message of yours regarding taking a gradual approach with your kids. That approach really worked for me regarding my own diet. My husband into healthy eating when we first met, and I tried some of his organic food. I was so used to eating refined sugar and flour that his whole grain bread was very rough and unpalatable to me. In addition, eating lots of vegetables gave me a stomachache. So when we went shopping, I'd get middle of the road things for myself like whole-wheat bread, whole wheat waffles, and granola bars (I wasn't low carbing then). Eventually I became accustomed to whole wheat and was able to move on to flourless whole grain bread (it took about 4 years!). Now I prefer whole grains, and I can eat tons of vegetables.

I think it's easier to lower kids' carb intake with whole grain bread because it is really filling and it doesn't digest as fast as common bread.

Don't be discouraged with your teenagers! My younger sister is the same way, although she's not overweight. At least we are empowering them with knowledge so that when they are ready to commit to a healthier lifestyle, they will know how to do it. They're already more ahead of the game than we were in the 1980s and 1990s.

[freydis]

I recently (two days ago) decided my daughter was going to go low-carb whether she wanted to or not. This is an unpopular decision with her, but there are health reasons for it beyond her weight. She is a VERY picky eater and has been refusing foods since before she was 2 years old.

Tomorrow's lunch for her (foods she approved):

low-carb cheesecake slice (2 carbs)
1/2 cup pistachios (12 carbs)
3 strawberries (?)
small bag of fresh spinach leaves (she likes them plain!)
2 oz. edam cheese (approx. 1 carb)
a small sugar-free Turtle candy (1 effective carb)

Yesterday, she had some salmon/cream cheese dip with a few chips, which were a bit high in carbs. She'll also eat celery with peanut butter pretty readily. I realize that she's eating about 20 carbs just in that one meal, but she's pretty active, too. And, just this much change is a considerable drop in carbs for her. What do you think? Do I need to lower it further for an 11-year-old girl?

Our evening meals are also low-carb and she prefers not to eat breakfast regardless of what I try to tempt her with. She claims that food makes her ill in the mornings. (It used to do that to me, too, so I'm inclined to believe her.) After-school snacks are also low-carb.

[SthrnTami]

Hi Freydis,

I don't think I'd drop it much more at this point. But you might want to keep that bag of pistacios out of sight! They can be like the ol' Lays potato chips. I used to adore pistacios myself, until I bought one of those huge bags from Sam's and had eaten half of it before we discovered they were infested with little worms that nestle themselves into the nut meat so that you can't really even tell they are there unless you really look for them. I'll never eat another one!

As for the kids' eating, I think striving for improvement is the goal, not perfection. Letting them understand that a "treat" is just that--something special that you enjoy infrequently. Not an everyday thing. I encourage my kids to eat as much veggies as they want, and, like you, serve low-carb meals. It's still a gradual approach, though, but we're making improvements.

Tami

[freydis]

Thanks for the heads-up on the pistachios! I've seen worms in old ones before, but didn't realize they could infest newer nutmeats, too. It is unfortunate that they are almost the only nuts she likes. I can't even get her to eat cashews which I LOVED at her age! No macademias, no pecans or walnuts, no peanuts unless in peanut butter, and no almonds or sunflower seeds. I guess I'll stick to peanut butter. :confused:

[SthrnTami]

I wouldn't worry about the pistachios, I'm sure our situation was a fluke, probably due to the warehouse-type storage at Sam's. The reason I don't eat them is not because I think I'll run into that situation again, it's just that it sort of turned my stomach. Now if I can just find something disgusting in Krispy Kreme donuts...Ben & Jerry's ice cream....Godiva chocolates....etc, etc. (Not that I eat any of those, now, of course!)

Tami

[jesdorka]

lessara, a thumbs up to you for trying to help your children follow a healthier lifestyle, it is such a struggle for overweight teens.
myself, my adult daughter and her 15 yr old daughter are all overweight. at the end of this summer after my granddaughter had gained 30 lbs she approached me about starting the low carb woe. her mother agreed and so she started on atkins sep 4 and is now following protein power. at first she took alot of flack from her friends, her foods teacher and others in groups she belongs to especially ones where she has to go on weekend trips and brings pork rinds, beef jerky, hard boiled eggs&water instead of the chocolate,chips and pop she used to. she has faced up to them all and told them she has to do what is right for her.
a typical days menu consists of:
bkfst=2egg,cheese,meat&veggie omellette. vitamins, supplements&water.
lunch is taken to school in cold pack containers=salad,salad dressing,various types of meat,chicken or canned fish&water.
snack=celery with sf peanut butter or cream cheese.
supper=salad, lc veggies, meat chicken,sausage,beef dogs, fish of all types,sometimes sf jello.water
she does some exercise and has lost 32lbs so far and her friends now want to borrow her atkins & pp book! i think the big thing here is she realized she had to do this and doesn't let others intimidate her (she even had quite a
discussion with her foods class about the canada food guide) :D

[SthrnTami]

My 12-year old daughter is taking a health class, and they are studying the food pyramid right now. She told the teacher about the "new pyramid", and the teacher asked for some documentation. I sent her plenty! I haven't heard how it was received! Of course, the "new pyramid" is not exactly low-carb, but it is a whole lot better than the old pyramid.

Tami

[jesdorka]

it is great to hear that some children are starting to learn and realize there may be another way to look at the food pyramid

[freydis]

Originally posted by SthrnTami
My 12-year old daughter is taking a health class, and they are studying the food pyramid right now. She told the teacher about the "new pyramid", and the teacher asked for some documentation. I sent her plenty! I haven't heard how it was received! Of course, the "new pyramid" is not exactly low-carb, but it is a whole lot better than the old pyramid.
Tami

Ok, I'm confused. I thought the new pyramid (approved by the government) was just a re-endorsement of the low-fat regimen. What have I missed? May I ask you to put one or two links into a message for me?

[SthrnTami]

Actually, the New Pyramid that I'm referring to is not yet endorsed by the government, but is based on a study by the Harvard Medical School. The main difference is that they separate the "good" fats from the "bad" fats and the "good" carbs from the "bad" carbs. No longer do we find all fats at the tip of the pyramid, in fact, they now place only saturated fats at the tip to be used "sparingly". In fact unsaturated fats now make up half of the bottom of the pyramid, which is shared with the "good" carbs (whole grains). The refined carbs (sugar, refined flour and rice, and potatoes) are sharing the top of the pyramid with saturated fats from meat and butter. So, according to the New Pyramid, we should be eating primarily whole grains, unsaturated fats, and fruits and vegetables. To be honest, even though I am on Atkins, I think that's a healthy approach.

Here's the link:

http://www.intelihealth.com/IH/ihtIH/WSIHW000/325/28910/329091.html?d=dmtContent

[liz175]

The New Pyramid is a lot like Atkins maintenance. I don't think it works for weight loss, but my goal once I lose all this weight is to switch over to something like the New Pyramid for maintenance.

[SthrnTami]

I agree, Liz. That's my plan as well. My gut feeling is that grain is not the enemy. It's all the processed foods, whether high-fat or low-fat that piles on the weight. But you have to give up something in order to LOSE weight, and the Atkins program is the most satisfying weight loss program I've ever been on.

[freydis]

Thank you! I really hadn't heard of this before. I will study it and see what my daughter thinks. :)

[Yendor]

I would suggest trying to improve the kids eating habits by maybe cutting back on sugars, breads, soft drinks things like that. The atkins diet is kind of strict and may be hard for them to stay with. I'm the only one on this diet here and the rest of the family eats whatever they like. It really doesn't bother me to much once you get going on the diet, because you should really not be hunger ( I think it's more a mental thing). Just cook them what them want trying to cut back on the bad foods and then have your atkins food on the side........Hang in there

[freydis]

If I were the only person on the diet, I could probably handle it, but it would be harder for me. I'm lucky in that my whole family is on Atkins. We are not as strict with my daughter, since it wasn't her choice, but she has some health issues that would be improved by a lower-carb WOL. I do not, however, see any reason to cook meals for the family and then cook something different for her.

[Further]

It's not healthy not to be consistant with a low carb diet. It;s not good if you are feeding your child bacon and eggs for breakfast, they eat pizza and cookies at school lunch because there aren't low carb choices, and baked chicken and salad with blue cheese for dinner.

[freydis]

I disagree. That is the basis for the CAD plan. Plus, anything I can do to lower her carbs will help her.