scared to lose

[wantolose]

I know this probably sounds really dumb.... but after reading in your forum, I feel I can ask and not be laughed to the moon..
Is anyone scared to lose? To achieve their goal?
I'm afraid of the saggy skin thing...
My husband married a big girl.....is he going to want a smaller one?....
I'm afraid if I get where I want to be that one slip up and it will all come back...
for the past 15 years I have been over 200 lbs and I have dieted - only to get to 201...200.6.... never below...I get a mental block and end up quitting the diet....
I really really want to be pretty, to go to normal stores & shop, to make my kids proud, not embarrassed.....
I'm on my 2nd week of induction....have to buy a scale, 'cause the one we have says I gained 5 lbs - spent 3 hrs crying....sometimes I just don't know if it's worth it....
Thanks for listening...

[jus2muchme]

You sound so similar to me.

I too have thoughts about losing weight. I weighed 260 pounds when I married eight years ago. My husband never really questioned my weight. He always wanted me to lose because of the way I felt. My thoughts now are how is he going to feel about me, because he has never known me under 200 pounds.

I worry about looking different and attracting attention. I know this sounds stupid, but I'm the type who is used to being in the background of things. With a substantial weight loss, I'll surely attract more attention.

So, what am I gonna do?

First of all, I am going to lose this excess weight. It is for me and no one else. I am going to try to not worry about anything because my husband loves me for me, not matter what size I am. I am an attractive woman already with my weight on, so a smaller me will be even better.

Saggy skin; there's plenty of gyms for me to go to!

So, don't worry, you don't sound dumb at all. There's plenty of us who feel the same anxiety. Hang on and lose that weight. The fear of losing probably won't last at all!
:wave:

[UtahKat]

Oh YEAH, sure, I know what you mean, and I bet many others do too. There is no such thing as a dumb question anyway---only dumb answers sometimes! :D

I thought about asking this one myself, but was chicken, so good for you. I think we get used to the way we look, and there are many reasons for wanting to stay that way:

1. Familiarity- we may not LIKE how we look, but we are used to it, know how to interact with people, and are comfortable in our misery.

2. Fear of the unknown- "What's gonna happen in my life if I look different?"

3. Psychologists say sometimes bulk feels like a protection, especially if we are fearful or have been abused- just a thought to throw in there.

4. Fear of interactions with the opposite sex- "Will I be able to handle myself with men/women?"

5. Fear of own sexuality- "If I look sexy, can I handle myself? Will I go wild if men/women start to want me?"

6. Make up your own reasons- there are plenty more!

You know, I really think we all have to get the head thing straightened out first, or we are doomed to repeat the gain/lose/gain/lose cycle over and over again, until it kills us.

Sounds like you are on the right track, to see the pattern in your life, and to even ask this question.

Hugs,
Kat

[wantolose]

Thank you so much!!
My day just brightened - knowing I wasn't the only one who was feeling the same way!
I really am 'pumped' about this weight loss - it's something I do want....and am going to do!
Thanks bunches!
I may need reinforcement after I buy that scale...haha lol

[UtahKat]

What's your name, "Wantolose"?

Let me tell you my scale story- I had problems with not getting an accurate weight, one day up, another day down, then up again, drove me crazy so bought a good scale, one that would weigh accurate at my big weight. Well, what a shock! My weight was more than 10 lbs more than I thought it was- turned out, that because of the innacurate scale, my starting weight was 370, not 360. What a bummer! Took me days to get over it, but I didn't head for the Twinkies! :D

Hugs,
Kat

[suze_c]

Guess I am not sure if I am scared to lose or not, I have not thought about it this go-around. I know that my weight has served as "insulation and a buffer so to speak* against the world per se, and hurts in my life. There's been so many tragedies in my life, and it seemed after a point, that my way of dealing with them was to gain weight after them, and I just let it happen. My husband loves me this size, I know he does, and I think that he is scared if I lose the weight, that I will not stay with him... but that is so untrue. I love him with all my heart, and he loves me now... and that speaks volumes about him, hell, a whole library even :lol: He gets concerned for my health,and wants me to lose for my health so nothing happens to me. I just want him to be assured that he is stuck with me, no matter what his weight. As far as me having problems with the attention, my body image is so off kilter, that when I weighed 145# I thought I was fat and ugly... oh what I wouldn't give to be "fat and ugly" like that again!

[wantolose]

Kat, my name is Amy....

Thank you all for responding.

:roll:

[jus2muchme]

I am pretty new to this forum, and have found it to be a great source of support and inspiration! I log on every day even if I don't post a reply.

Keep coming in to the Forum and when you have time, start a journal! You'll find that some will reply and give you great tips and lots of encouragement!

I looked at your profile and noticed that we were born exactly one week apart! That's probably why we have similar feelings-LOL!! :wave: