Interview Terror

[orchidday]

:(

Okay gang, I really hate this. I have a job interview next Thursday for a job I really want. I am well qualified and I know they are excited to meet me!

So here I am at a glorious 266 pounds. I wish I could wear a cute little suit but I will be wearing the basic "flowing" big woman's outfit. I just feel like crap. I have lost 20 pounds since September 1st but it sure isn't going to make a difference. I can't even tell when I look at myself. The person interviewing will be a man so that makes it even more intimidating to me. They would always prefer to hire a cute little thing. I see it in their eyes. I really want and need this job and I wish I could feel happier about it.

And THEN - I decided to dye my hair again because I hate all the gray coming in (I am 46 and pretty gray). I used a red tint and it came out looking like I was getting ready for halloween or was 15 years old and stylin........ My roomate is going to try to help me fix it.

I have been working at home for the past year and a half and I really miss the comraderie and other people at work. I also need to make more money than I have been and get health insurance. It has also become an issue between me and my partner as we really do need the income. I haven't been pulling my weight (just adding to it). My self-esteem is in the toilet. I moved here a year and a half ago and I managed to put on 60 pounds during that time. And I wasn't small to begin with. I feel like I have been vegetating for the past year and a half. I want this job! Please say a prayer for me or send energy. I am just dreading this.

Orchid :bash:

[Shark01]

Good Luck,
I have interviewed while weighing over 380 lbs, so I know what you are going through :wave:

[GatorGal93]

I applied for a part time job on Monday. It was just the application, so I wasn't too worried. What does worry me is when I go to the interview. None of my business suits fit me anymore and anything I purchase will look frumpy if it is to fit.

So, I look at it this way. Just dazzle them with your wit. If you can keep an interesting conversation going, maybe they won't take into account the extra weight. Rather than worrying about what you look like, worry about what you will say. Show them what you know. Be positive (although I know it is hard).

I found out one day that my father had told my mother that no one was going to hire me (after college) because I was too fat (180 pounds). Boy, was he wrong. I got hired on the spot.

I hope this helps you to see what you need to do.

Good luck,
Julie

[DWRolfe]

Orchid....YOU CAN GET THAT JOB...

I'm very happy that you posted this thread in the Triple Digits Club, as I'm sure this strikes close to home for many of us.

I also know the terror and feelings of unworthiness that being overwieght can cause when interviewing for employment. While I can't necessarily relate to the issues of discrimination (real or imagined) that you face as a woman, I have definately exprienced the same as a large man. Just as you point out that many men would prefer to hire a young, perky woman, I fear that an in-shape, gym body man will immediately disqualify me from consideration for employment based soley on my size and not my experience.

I also fully understand your being dissatisfied with your clothing options. It sucks to have to be worried about that when you should be channeling your energy into highlighting your professional experience.

Here are some things to keep in mind between now and your interview...

You have lost weight and taken back control of your health now and that's a positive thing...something you can feel good about.

There's still time to color your re-color your hair.

There's nothing to be gained by focusing on imagined scenarios (the interviewer wanting youger, perkier applicants) because you don't know that to be true and you can't control it anyway. Stay focused on the positives, such as the relevant expereince you bring to the table...

Lean on your partner for support right now. It's OK to do so. Make this a family effort.

Accept in advance that if this job doesn't pan out for you that getting out of the house and throwing your hat into the ring is valid and meaningful participation in life. The experience you gain from this interview will strengthen you for your next and so on...

Good luck to you, Orchid! Sending you positive, job-gettin' vibes...

Donald :wave:

[UtahKat]

Hi Orchid-


You said: >I moved here a year and a half ago and I managed to put on 60 pounds during that time. And I wasn't small to begin with. I feel like I have been vegetating for the past year and a half.<

Gee gal- I did that too! But did get over it, and did get hired, at 370 as a matter of fact.

First of all, attitude and experience are everything. You may be seeing (or think you are seeing) a wish to hire a "cute young thing" in an employer's eyes- but usually, they will go for someone with experience, someone reliable, who isn't going to call in sick or flirt with co-workers. Keep that in mind, and you will be less nervous.

I am involved in the interview process at work, so will tell you what I look for. Here is my practical advice:

1. Fix the hair- just re color it, with something with some ash in it to tone down the red.
Consider going to a professional.

2. Ditch the flowing fat lady outfit. You've got a week- go to Penneys or Lane Bryant, or even Penneys catalog, and choose something tailored and business like, in a DARK color, and fitting a little looser than you might normally wear. Look for a longer skirt so you won't have to be tugging the damn thing down, or a tailored pants suit even. Then add something white or light at your neckline, like a lace collar,scarf, etc. This will draw attention away from your body and to your face. This outfit is an INVESTMENT in your future! That's what charge cards are for!

3.Wearing a "professional outfit", even if nothing like what you will be wearing on the job, shows you know HOW to dress for an interview, what is appropriate, and tells a lot about your professional attitude.

4. Eye contact during the interview! Very important!

5. Take your time, go slow with answers, and "act" your a-- off!
Regard the whole thing as a stage role, and you will feel better.

Best of luck- you can do it! You are more than your body- that's just your shell!

Hugs,
Kat

[agonycat]

Having been a hiring manager in the past I can say honestly a couple of things.

1) Attitude is everything on a job interview
2) Experience and knowledge base is second
3) I never looked at what the person's phyiscal attributes were

Now having listed that out I can tell you why...

Hiring managers first look for a "team" player. Are you, will you get along with current staff members? Nothing worse than bringing a new person on that turns the office upside down. I have passed on candiates that had unbelievable skill sets because they had a holier than thou attitude or "Demi-God" image of themselves. I knew had I brought that individual in, there was going to be a huge personality conflict.

Experience and knowledge base. Can you do the job I am hiring you for. Do you have the experience and knowledge that are on the requirements. If not can you learn them? I have hired lesser skilled people that showed a "can do" attitude over those with more experience. Again attitude played a huge part in my decision making. My husband applied for a job many years ago that was way beyond his skill level. He wasn't going to apply but I told him he had 80 percent of the skill sets. He went on the interview and showed a gung-ho and can-do attitude and the hiring manager gave him the job. He did learn the skills he was lacking.

Looks had nothing to do with my hiring decisions. It never entered into it. I am not hiring for a beauty contest. I have a budget, I have an opening and I want the best damn person I can get for my bucks. I don't care if that person was missing a leg or was 400 pounds. If you had the skills and the attitude to play well with others you got the job.

So with all that said.....cheer up, get in a positive can do mood. Make him want you on his team. Show enthusaism, ASK for the job, highlight your career successes, detail out where you have worked in teams or on your own. Show that spirit deep inside that you are proud of yourself and your accomplishments and that your current weight means nothing and will not hinder you in your career path or meeting your career goals.

[Sherry B]

your mind on what you can bring to the job. Forget about your appearance, being self concious will only hinder your ability to project your qualifications.

In reality I very much doubt if people are as "prejudiced" against you for weight as you may believe. In reality a large percentage of the population is overweight these days and you are DOING something about it, so hold your head up high and smile and look them in the eye!

Making eye contact, (not hanging your head and feeling embarrassed) will make more of an impression than your weight will.

Remember that you are WELL qualified for this job. You can DO it!, they will be interested in knowing that you can do it.

But remember one more thing. An employer when it comes down to equal qualifications between two different applicants will always hire the ONE person that he LIKES.

Personality is very important on the job. Being able to get along and fit in with the team is much more important than your skills. Skills can be learned if you have most of them already especially so, but personality and friendliness, the ability to get along and fit in with others? Well those things take a LONG time to learn and employers really don't want to hire someone who has to learn those things.

So just make it a point to be friendly, to be likeable. Forget your weight, forget your self consciousness, think about the person interviewing you, they have a much harder job to do than you do. They not only have to figure out if you are qualifed to do the job, they have to figure out if you will fit in, they have to figure out if you will be a problem child AFTER they hire you, they have to wonder if they will have screwed up their own reputation for being a good judge of character if they hire the wrong person etc.

Make yourself an easy to get along with likeable person, and you will get the job.

[orchidday]

:wave: :wave: :wave: :wave: :wave: :wave: :wave: :wave:

I really appreciate each reply. My interview is on Thursday so think of me! I am going to reread these posts when I feel nervous about the interview...........they help me a lot! I will let you know how it went! Cindi (broke and tired of being stuck at home)

:wave: :wave: :wave: :wave: :wave: :wave: :wave: :wave:

[PJ in Miam]

I know exactly what you're talking about here...

I did a great deal of hiring for a dozen years in business, and this is what I can suggest.

1. SMILE. Attitude is important. The person with the right attitude and even half the skills will do better than an expert who needs coddling in one form or another. And, t's an innate human quality that if someone thinks another likes them, they tend to better like that person themselves. (Also a smile infers "energy".)

2. Make it clear that you are pursuing this job because you love working with people, and working for yourself (don't say 'at home' say 'for myself'), while great in many ways, has just frankly not been challenging enough for you... you miss the business environment.

(Never mention money in an interview. Just as it's ending you can talk about starting salary if it hasn't been covered, but I have never hired anybody dense enough to tell me they wanted the job FOR the money. That is like asking somebody for a first date and then saying, "We can have sex, right?" LOL.)

3. Accept that as far as this interviewer's modeling of you based on his own life experience and standard male-to-female roles, you will not be a perky little date potential or, unless your interviewer is quite advanced in age, the little sister. That is fine. You can be the reliable, trustworthy, good-humored, all-knowledgeable mother. Set your mindset before entering the room as calmly confident, cheerfully competent, with a real sense of humor, and BELIEVE it about yourself, and believe it all the way through the interview. These factors have nothing to do with your looks, yet are the selling point of your presentation.

If he TRUSTS you, and if you're qualified, and if you're cheerful, your weight is not going to stand in the way. Remember that anybody hiring, their real motivation is to "solve a problem." The problem is they need a employee. The second problem is they don't know who to trust and need to make the right decision. So the feeling of "trust" engendered in your interviewer is the most important one.

I've had multiple "temp" employers hand me the keys to their business, to come in at night or on a weekend to help with something (which was way beyond what I was technically hired for), within 2-3 days of my coming in as a temp (this was eons ago; I weighed about 375 then). It still astonishes me how people "trust" me so quickly. But it happened despite my weight, and with a lot more than you've got, so believe me, it CAN happen.

4. If possible, learn something about the company before the interview. Ask a couple of questions that will indicate that you were interested enough to explore.

5. If possible (or relevant), once you've covered the basics, ask if the interviewer would be willing to show you around.

6. Few of the above tend to apply to small, family owned businesses, where the managers are in management because they're related to somebody, or to much of retail (though that varies). The management in such places often leaves a lot to be desired. But most other places, the above suggestions might be of use.

Best of luck.

P.S. Dye your hair to something normal, though. :-)

PJ

[orchidday]

I am reading these everyday until my interview :)

I am off to the store right now - my roommate is going to help me try to fix my hair - I look like a big carrot top! :rolleyes: Then I am going to get it cut at a salon this week.

I lost two pounds this week! It is great to know that I am not alone. Cindi

[UtahKat]

So how did it go? Did you have the interview yet? Are you waiting to hear? Hey, if you didn't make it, don't take it personally- it was good practice and there are plenty more jobs out there.
Let us know- been there, done that.
Hugs
Kat

[orchidday]

:daze:

Words cannot truly express my appreciation for all of your thoughts and advice. I read each one word for word fifteen minutes before I left for the interview! I think the interview went very well, he was obviously pleased with my qualifications. I sent a thank you note today. I started having problems with a kidney stone last weekend and I have painkillers. I did make it to the interview though! I think they will make a decision fairly quickly so I will sure let you all know as soon as I hear! I will tell you all about it when I feel better. Hope you all are having a fine week!
Cindi :wave:

[DWRolfe]

I was also jumping in here today to see if there was any word from you on how things went at the interview...

Sounds like it was a positive experience...fingers crossed for you!

Donald :wave: