Offensive Language! Sorry!

[debbiedobson]

i hate to sound like a fuddy-duddy, but i guess at heart i am. i was brought up a in a very strict Roman Catholic home. i think i'm more liberal than my mom, but i guess when it comes right down to it, i'm my mom! isn't that every woman's biggest fear!:D anyway, the point i'm bringing up is offensive language. now i realize that what is offensive really depends on the person. i decided after some careful thought to mention here that i was offended by a word i read in a post. the word was the "a" word referring to someones' bum. when i was growing up that was a washing your mouth out with soup word. especially with "stupid" preceding it. i still find it offensive in everyday language. i know i must sound really picky and fussy to everyone, but it really bothers me. it bothers me that people say he** and d*mn on tv all the time now. i've heard worse too later at night. it's different watching a video that's been rated "R". you know what to expect. tv was supposed to be family viewing.

i'm sorry for going on and on. my intentions are not to offend anyone here. i think too highly of you all! i'm just asking, in respect of me, to please not use these words.

thanks for listening!
love debbie.

[sherrybee]

yes this forum is 99.9% squeaky clean...lol...i--being a VERY---how can you say?--------verbally expressive italian girl....i tend to censor the heck out of myself in here!!!!!!!!!:eek:

[agonycat]

hehehe Sherry...and I the irish/german/danish (can you say temper?) girl that I am try very hard to watch what I type on the internet. No telling how many kids read over their parents shoulders so I try to watch it.

:) No offense taken Debbie and thanks for letting us know!

:D

[rainny]

I hope I haven’t offended anyone! I try to watch myself too! Ha! I was always told “no wonder you can get so angry…your Cherokee/ Apache/Irish/German “ I just can’t help my temper sometimes! Ha!
L:pRRAINE

[Mrs. Y]

...the Catholic guilt is working! ;)

I find this forum to be a refuge from the usual illiterate internet gabble chock full of foul language and veiled threats of revenge against anyone who speaks up against it.

I had never posted anywhere until I got here. I just could not stomach interacting with so many morons out there!

Thank you for upholding those old time principles. I have to constantly patrol my own mouth because things just slip out due to the tolerance bar being so *^#(@*#&$ high these days. It's especially noticeable if we're around little kids; we don't have any of our own, so we really notice how dreadful our language can be when we are in the presence of our friends' kids.

I'm with ya girl!

[rainny]

You know I...I have quit SSSOOOO many news groups because I was ATTACKED there! There was very little support...just a bunch of people who think there way is the only and will attack you behind the face of a computer...and you know, in your heart, they would NEVER say a word in real life...face to face! It just takes away from what your want and are trying to do!

I've said it before...and I say it again and again! I LOVE IT HERE! And would NEVER want to hurt anyone! If I do…please speak up!



L:DRRAINE

[doreen T]

Lorraine, you couldn't be offensive if you tried. You're such a sweetie .. :D. And debbie, you're a sweetie too, and I for one will be glad when the chaos settles in your world, and you're able to get here and post more often. All the new members haven't had a chance to meet your big smile yet.

For the record, I am the author of the offense, in a humourous post in the Lighter Side forum. I am careful to keep discussions to "family entertainment" throughout the rest of the forum, but I have felt that I could relax a little, and let my hair down in the joke and humour pages. As with every word I type to this forum, it's done with the knowledge that some will disagree or disapprove ... but offense is never intended. And nobody, not Debbie or anyone should feel the need to apologise for saying how you really feel. I think very highly of you too!

As an artist and writer, of course I have strong feelings about censorship and freedom of speech. On the other hand, I would be the first to object if I saw racial, sexual or other hateful, derogatory terms. I had a personally devastating run-in with censorship last fall, in a fiction writing course. It was the opposite of this though. One person objected to my story (I suggested the unmarried couple took a shower together ... no description .. just the sound of running water) Nobody else in the class spoke up; the critique went on and on and on. I couldn't even look at my creation again for 3 weeks ... until the rewrite was due to be handed in. I finally looked at the pages, and on the backs, every other member of the class wrote such beautiful words of encouragement, they loved it, don't change a single thing....

Of course I will respect your feelings and have no desire to offend anyone. But I and my post remain unabashedly and unapologetically me.

luv from Doreen

[rainny]

Thank you Doreen! You’re a sweetie yourself!

Allot of my drawings are offensive to people. I’ve even had people say really hurtful thinks to me about them. Oh well there…It’s who I am. I do have some that I wouldn’t let my kids…or family see…due to the fact of being, well…X rated to a degree?
ALSO…
I have a stack of jokes that would make a sailor blush! Matter a fact…at one of the salons I worked for we had a sign that read “if you can bring us a GOOOD joke that we don’t have…well give you $2.00 off you service!” We collected allot of jokes…and I copied all! ha! I love jokes…and I do like the dirty ones. I will say this…because of some reactions from clients…we kept it behind the front desk in a folder that read "MAY BE VERY OFFENSIVE TO SOME!!”…that way if they proceeded…they did so at there own risk! Maybe we could put rating on our jokes…kinda like movies? Or another section for these kind? That way you know what your getting into…and it would be less of a shock for some. Food for thought! If we do that…I’ve got some GOOOOOD ONES! Hee hee! I haven’t posted any out of…Um, well…. Fear…I guess?!! So are REALLY bad…BUT FUNNY! So I would need to know how far I could take this! HEE HEE!

L:pRRAINE

[doreen T]

rainny, I have a portfolio of portraits and drawings that I hide away when mother comes to visit too ... many from life-drawing courses at a local college. And many are self-acceptance drawings of myself. Nothign like learning to love your own body by drawing exactly what you see in the mirror.

In another group I post to, we respectfully place in the header that the content is Xrated or "dirty joke" or PG13 ... also, the spiritual and devotional and religious is so indicated, so that those of other beliefs can choose to not read those as well. Experience is that everybody pretty much reads everything .. :)

I would love to see more of your work, if the drawing you posted earlier is just an example. I bought a digital camera so I can take pictures of my stuff .. most of my work is 22 x 30 inches, so too big for a scanner ... but a photo can be cropped and shrunk down to "viewing size".

But my computer isn't behaving, and I've already had to uninstall my scanner and other imaging software. Someday though ... :rolleyes: ... Ya ya, she says,

Doreen

[debbiedobson]

thanks for being so understanding everyone!:D i know that you're all my good friends here. i don't mind a dirty joke, i even will tell them, depending on the company. i guess i just think of this as kind of a general forum, an all ages kind of place. i thank you all for respecting my feelings! btw, i'm irish/italian! i can get a real temper on me too! i'm usually just to happy to be bothered getting angry:D
love debbie

[tamarian]

O.K., now I rember a few months ago someone suggested a new smiley logo for a group hug :) I forgot about, but it's time to find one or make one :)

Wa'il

[agonycat]

Gosh Wa'il! You haven't done that yet?!?!?!?!?

:) Just kidding ya, we know you are workin' your behind off, and doing a great job on the board.

Thanks a million!

[tamarian]

Awwh, now I need to work on a blush smilie too!

Thanks AC :)

Wa'il

[rainny]

[B][/QUOTE][Nothing like learning to love your own body by drawing exactly what you see in the mirror.][B][/QUOTE]

Oh I think I would freak myself out right now if I did that!ha!

So...is it okay to post some really bad ones {jokes} if we put it in the header?

I'll dig out some more of my pic's... What size in inches or pixels is the best to post with you think?

I know what you mean about computers behaving! I had switched to millennium and me...I couldn't run any of my are or photo programs!! DROVE ME NUTS!! I went back to windows 95!ha!
have you used Bryce? I'm REALLY thinking about buying that. I'm self taught on this computer...so I don't know if its something that will frustrate me or not. I usually catch on pretty quick.
My hubby has been trying to crack it! ha!...He's something else!

I'll be waiting for those pictures!!:D
L:cool:RRAINE

[r.mines]

Tricky one.

I would never want to hurt anyone's feelings. At the same time, I realize that what might be perfectly innocuous, or even beneficial, to one person might be offensive to someone else. It all depends on one's point of view.

Personally, I don't mind being offended once in a while. Maybe because I lived in England for some time, where verbal sparring is a form of art .... I never got very good at it, but I came to realize the game is to give back as good as you get. Not that I'm advocating such 'games' on this forum, mind you!

I am a student of the English language, and I've studied the history of some of the words that many people object to. (In fact, the 'a' word that Doreen mentions above derives from a proto-Indo-European root and can be found in the works of Shakespeare.) These words have fascinating origins, and, in my opinion, can be used in fascinating ways. Having said that, they can also be used in unimaginative, stultifying, and, yes, sometimes intentionally hurtful ways.

I appreciate that some people might, on occasion, object to my use of language. I usually try to be 'tasteful,' but if an occasional 'a' word or 's' word slips out .... well .... there it is.

I'm all for the group hug! I think it goes like this:

(((((((((((((hug))))))))))))

Rachel

[debbiedobson]

after reading everyone's post i feel kinda silly, like maybe i over reacted. i'm sorry for being so fussy! group hug right back at ya'all! ((((((((((hugs))))))))))

[r.mines]

'sall right by me, Deb, if you don't say anything, how do we know how you're feeling? I'm glad you brought this up, 'cause I've been mulling over the subject since last night. You got me thinking, girl!

Hug back atcha,
Rachel

[Andy Davies]

I like this thread. Came across it fifteen minutes ago, and I have enjoyed reading every entry. If anyone wants to know why we join a forum dedicated to losing weight rather than just buying and reading a good book, let them read this and one or two other threads. Behind the messages can be read so clearly what makes this forum worth belonging to: the respect and love of many different characters enjoying who they are and their relationship to each other, mindful of the consequences of their words and sentiments; the feelings, like that of a family intent on harmony, not strife; and the humour, sometimes subtle, sometimes making you laugh out loud; the inspiration, and all those interactive things we gain from this forum which we could never get from a book. It's great. You're great. But hey, I'd better watch my own words, all this rhetoric could be offending someone... Time to go.

[cyntalkalo]

I like this site very much as it is so positive. I have browsed others and they are quite nasty to each other. No idea is stupid. We are all here to help decided why it may or may not be a good idea. We need each other to stick to this WOL. We are our own minority and need to stick up for each other. I have learned so much in the short time I have been a member. I say keep on keeping on!!

[fiona]

How come this thread has come to the forefront now? I am very glad it did 'cos it is very interesting and something that I have been thinking about a lot lately.

Language is very powerful. It can make or break.

Debbie I came from a similar up-bringing to yours. My parents never ever used any swear words and I cannot recall a single incident in my childhood when anyone used bad language. On the one hand it lent for harmony and sweetness ... on the other hand I was very easily shocked and tacken aback when I first came to a new location and was surrounded by people for whom every other word is **** and ****. I learned to live with it and adapted as best I could.

I remember the first time I ever used a four letter word everyone in the room just stopped right in their tracks in total shock ... LOL ... The reaction was so profound I went right back to my normal.

When I met my husband he was very careful never to use a swear word. It was only later that I learned that he came from a culture where the art of bad language was very finely refined. It was not long before I had started using some of that language. It got worse and worse. When we started arguing my ears burn at the thought of some of the language he used and I tried to match. It always made the intensity of our arguments unbearable. So much so that it eventually led to violence on his part - and our parting.

This Forum matches my early upbringing. The respect for different views, the love and support that is the main thread running right the way through is what attracted me to it - not to mention the inspiration, honest sharing resulting from the safety, and genuine willingness to progress and help others do the same.

So why have I been thinking about bad language recently? Because there is a website I recently started visiting. It has links which I would like to keep in touch with. But the language leaves a lot to be desired. The chat room can be such fun ... until one person slips into bad language and within seconds the whole atmosphere has deteriorated and degenerated. I have pulled them up on it several times and things are improving but ooooh I am always glad to come back here after a little bout there.

Finally Debbie I think it is people like you - and me - that help to keep the power of words constructive, peaceful, harmonious no matter how hard it is for others to conform to our standards !! ;)

Take care.