When the "black dog" of depression starts to bite

[destro]

I have been moving toward one of my cyclical depressions in the past few days. I know the signs. I want to weep a lot. I would like to spend all day in bed, with my eyes tightly shut, trying to drift into and out of slumber. I don't want to get up; don't want to get dressed; don't have the energy to take a shower.

I got fairly morbid today, wrapping my depression around me like a cloak.

I tried to stick to the WOE. I did not "stuff" myself with food, my typical narcotic, but I think that I had a bad day since I was not able to eat much. I am sure that is bad for my metabolism. All I ate was a half jar of macadamia nuts (smallish jar) and 1/2 avocado. I did drink some water.

I expect that the paradox will be that tomorrow I will have gained some weight. I don't want to get into the mind set that eating is such hard work that I cannot do it.

Oh well. I hope that someone will identify with what I write. I know that this too will pass.

Natalie

[lilwannabe]

Natalie :bhug:

When I first read your post...I was going to write back some advise....then I changed my mind...It sounds like you know what is going on for you...and maybe you just need to feel like this. I know how it is for me...I don't always want somebody telling me what to do...I just want to sit in my funk for a while.

I hope you are feeling better soon... :there:

[destro]

Anita,

Thanks so much for writing back to me! I do feel a little bit better today. I am doing the kinds of things that I find helpful: getting engrossed in a murder mystery, cuddling with my cats, and trying to stick to the WOE better.

Guess what? I DID weigh myself this morning and I had GAINED two pounds. That was a revelation. Now I am not going to beat myself up about it, but it does really show that keeping consistent is important. I spent a day eating far too few calories (I did drink an adequate amount of water) and even though I did not cheat with the carbs, I still gained weight.

I am not letting that get myself down; I think it's a good lesson for a newbie like me to this WOE.

I am almost 52 and I honestly remember back from the age of 3 having these periods of depression and fear and they are usually not triggered by anything exterior. Maybe it's just a part of who I am. Long ago I realized that my depressions would never be permanent and also that I quite possibly will never be without them.

Thank you, Anita. Sometimes it just feels good to be heard and even if I don't have anything at all to say, I think it's a little helpful to turn on the computer and write something, even if it is blather.

Natalie

[razzle]

I hope it passes sooner rather than later, nat.

I don't have depression (though I was acutely depressed by the end of my marriage, that's a different sort of thing, and eased immediately upon getting separated), so I can listen but don't understand in the same sense that others here might.

Unsolicited advice: If you need to weep, weep yourself out until you're done. If it's good for you to hole up (it is for me, often--my introvertedness, don't you know), do so. Take care of yourself however you can--a pile of favorite books or videos or long baths--whatever! And stay off that danged scale--it'll make the calmest person upset some days.

[jaykay]

Hi Natalie, like Razzle, hope it goes sooner than later.
I feel for you, I was depressed for about 6 months, 8 years ago now and never, ever want to be there again - it puts a sense of perspective on things, since nothing can be as bad as that. Have sinced learned mine is SAD, have to fight it every winter and periodically in between.
You sound like you know how to handle yours.
For me, exercise makes a huge difference. I feel like not moving at all but if I can get myself outside and walking fast for 20 - 30 minutes, it begins to lift. Its a big if, cos my willpower disappears the deeper I get in, so I've had to learn to turn it round as soon as the clouds start gathering. Think the exercise makes some 'feel-good' chemicals.
All the best, look after yourself, here's some transatlantic hugs! :bhug: :bhug: :bhug: Jay :wave:

[destro]

Thank you so much, everyone. I try to calmly wait it out; I try to read and do some writing and don't ask too many challenging things of myself.

Natalie

[DuPont]

When I feel the depression coming (usually weepy like you) I take some 5htp and it helps soooooo much, and when it's anxiety bothering me I take Kava Kava.

[obxpoohmom]

What is 5htp?

[DuPont]

5-hydroxy-tryptophan or 5HTP is required for the brain to produce serotonin. 5HTP deficiencies can result in low serotonin levels that result in a variety of symptoms including depression, anxiety, weight gain, and sleeplessness. 5HTP has been researched for more than 25 years, and is considered a much safer alternative for treating serotonin deficiencies than commonly prescribed drugs such as Prozac. 5HTP is a natural supplement extracted from the seed of the Griffonia plant. Check out these websites:
http://www.offshorepharmacy.net/ias-5htp.htm
http://www.smart-publications.com/books/5htp/toc.html

[Wombat]

I recognized the 'black dog' comment and I think it is attributed to Churchill. What a great visual.

I think having a handle on it...being able to recognize when you are slipping in the depression and taking immediate action....is better than taking no action and slipping deeper. And I know you know this ;) so I am preaching to the choir. I also know you know which 'actions' are best for YOU to take or avoid.

The first time I remember ever using the word 'depressed' to describe my feelings was in 4th grade. So mine is a life long struggle. And it has a genetic component. I think after a while (and a LONG learning curve) you learn how to cope.

da BAT

[tizzielish]

I have been blessed with a fantastic professional mentor. Our work involves multiple levels of complex relationships. We have to know a lot about how human beings interact but we aren't therapist types. I guess we are kinda like organizational therapist. We coach people to achieve their goals, among other things.

My friend, in her seventies, has shared a lot of wisdom with me. She has helped me manage more than one wave of the black dog, having suffered her share. One piece of advice has been most especially helpful for me. My friend told me that when she is depressed, miserable about something in particular or about nothing, just black depression, she asks herself "what can I change about my environment right now?" And then she changes whatever she can change in that moment.

I recalled this advice today. I have been slipping a bit into depression, trying to dance ahead of it. Something tipped me over this afternoon and I was tears and despair. I just hate despair, when I feel hopeless. For a few minutes, I resolved to let myself fall apart. I would eat something 'bad' and nap all day. Then I had the thought, "What can I change about my environment right now?"

Get out of the house, move, was my answer. I went for a long walk and came home a bit renewed. I don't always manage my blue moods effectively but today I did.

What's that saying? One day at a time?

Even the darkest depressions pass. You are so much more than this illness.

Hang in there. Please feel free to contact me if you would like my support.

[tizzielish]

I wanted to call my daughter and sob my heart out and demand her sympathy. Or a friend. My daughter is without a phone today so she was spared. And I got the idea to take a walk before I could think of another to call.

It felt like Providence.

[adkpam]

I've found that getting out and moving is a great help. In fact, doing ANYTHING positive is a great help, because it is so tempting to say "what the heck" and do something that works for five seconds and leaves you feeling sorry later.

I'm glad you have cats, because their little furry faces have often been a good reason to do something and perk up, if only because it upsets them when I'm upset.

I do hope you will be feeling better soon. I've read several articles on the web that talk about depression and carb addiction, and it keeps me hopeful that my good feelings will stick around as long as I eat healthy:

June 3, 2004 -- A popular nutritional supplement may reduce serious carb cravings in people with depression.


The supplement is chromium picolinate. The new finding comes from a small clinical trial sponsored by Nutrition 21, which years ago purchased the patent rights to chromium picolinate from the U.S. Department of Agriculture.


John P. Docherty, MD, president of Comprehensive Neuroscience Inc., White Plains, N.Y., and adjunct professor of psychiatry at Cornell University, penned the report. Docherty presented the findings at the National Institute of Mental Health's annual New Clinical Drug Evaluation Unit Conference, held this week in Phoenix.


"It is an exciting finding," Docherty tells WebMD. "The real benefit of this is the high rate of response in this subgroup of depressed patients. If this finding holds up, it is a very important finding for depression. And there was a very, very favorable side effect profile."


Chromium Picolinate's Effects on Metabolism


Chromium picolinate is a nutritional supplement. The "picolinate" part of the compound is thought to enhance the body's ability to absorb chromium. Chromium is a necessary mineral. The typical Western diet barely contains an adequate amount of chromium -- so chromium supplements are quite popular. It's the second most popular mineral supplement in the U.S.


All kinds of claims have been made about chromium picolinate. Few of them are proven. One known effect is the supplement's ability to increase the body's sensitivity to insulin, helping it work better to control blood sugars. It's not clear whether the supplement provides significant help to people with diabetes. A recent analysis of well-designed studies showed that it does not significantly affect blood sugar or insulin levels in people who do not have diabetes.


Depression, Diabetes, and Carb Craving


Docherty notes that there is a connection between diabetes and depression. People with depression, he says, are twice as likely to get diabetes. What's the link?


The most common form of depression, ironically, is called atypical depression. Instead of losing their appetite, people with atypical depression often overeat. Many of these people report an almost irresistible craving for carbs.


Docherty's study enrolled 113 people with atypical depression. Two-thirds took chromium picolinate supplements for eight weeks, and one-third got a placebo.

When the researchers looked at all the patients -- those with and without carb cravings -- they found no overall depression benefit from the chromium supplement compared to placebo. It did, however, cut carb craving.

But chromium did improve depression in certain patients. Researchers found that atypical depression patients who also had carb cravings improved with chromium compared to placebo.

"In that group with high carb craving -- a third of the patients -- we had a very significant benefit from chromium picolinate," Docherty says. "Compared with placebo, it had a 2-to-1 advantage in reducing depression overall."


Maybe, Docherty speculates, this small study has found the missing link between depression and diabetes.


"This could turn out to be a very big benefit if the relationship between depression and diabetes is mediated by carb craving," he says. "It might be that if you eat more carbs, you tax your insulin system more and are at greater risk for diabetes. This treatment chromium picolinate may lower high risk of diabetes in people with depression. That would be terrific."


Chromium Picolinate for Carb Craving?


It is not clear that chromium picolinate -- or anything else -- can help normal people eat fewer carbs, says Leslie Bonci, MPH, RD, director of sports nutrition at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center. She is also a nutritional consultant for several sports teams and the Pittsburgh Ballet Theatre.


"What is carb craving? It would be really difficult to define that," Bonci tells WebMD. "Yes, there are some people who are going to gear more toward the pasta and potatoes than steak and tofu, but that doesn't have a clinical definition. ... It would be a stretch to say that across the board, carb cravers should go with chromium. Bodies aren't that smart. Psychological and environmental factors do a lot more to determine the cravings we have."


On the other hand, Bonci says, the findings regarding insulin sensitivity and chromium picolinate are "exciting." Moreover, she explains, many people do get too little chromium in their diets.


Huge exposures to chromium can be dangerous. But Bonci notes that people who take chromium supplements don't get harmful side effects.

(This last part sounds like a typical "maybe not, maybe so" CYA move, so I'd say if you aren't taking chromimum, you might want to consider it.)

[sammm0001]

:q: I was having a lot of trouble with depression, just started taking 5HTP and it seems to be helping. But I was wondering, do carbs make anyone else mean. I can eat a potatoe, or a piece of cake, and I have the most awful temper. Is this just strange, or does it happen to other people as well?