Big Time Depression

[Frodo2001]

I can only describe the state that I'm in as a Big Time Depression. I can honestly say that I go into a "funk" or depression about once every couple of months and it takes a couple of days or a week to come out of it. I started LCing in may and I think I was doing fairly well. I had lost 20lbs and I went to a wedding on June 1st. Big mistake. I had a little champagne, and slice of a cheesecake, a brownie and a creamy pastry. Since then I have been in a big depression (& a Carb Binge). I was jealous because the bride looked so thin and beautiful and I was just the opposite at my wedding. She wore a dress similar to the one that I wanted to buy for my wedding but I couldn't because they didn't make it in my "extra extra" large size. I cried myself to sleep that night and after that it seems as if I've just given up. I can't get myself back into LCing. I've gained 12 pounds back and I keep trying to talk myself into caring about myself but it seems useless. I guess my question is has anyone ever felt like this? What can I do? I know I'm on the road to self destruction but how do I get to the point that I want to take care of myself? Sometimes I feel like it would have been better if I were never born.

[Karen]

I hear you frodo.

You are not alone. Many people on this forum are facing similar issues. Today, do something for yourself that you really enjoy. Have a bubble bath. Curl up on the couch with a big pile of blankets. Call a time out for yourself.

It sounds like you are dealing with a lot of complex and intertwined issues that are mental, emotional. physical and spiritual.

Contemplate making a commitment to one thing. Usually the physical things are the easiest to take on at first.

I will let you in on what has happened to me since I started low-carbing. At first I was going full steam ahead with the physical - the low-carbing aspect. It wasn't easy at first, but staying away from sugar helped to clear my head and gave me room to look at the other three aspects of my nature and how I was crafting my life.

Low-carbing was a piece of the puzzle that has helped me on my quest for sanity.

For all the rest of your being, there is counselling, therapy and self-help groups like Overeaters Anonymous.

As part of a plan of action, I would like to suggest reading the Schwarzbein Principle. It has a very balanced approach.

Take care of yourself, just for today.

Karen

[Frodo2001]

Thanks Karen,

I will read the schwarzbein principle and I'll try to do something for myself today.

[shyoned]

I go through horrible depression spells. I cry myself to sleep, and think of all the things that I don't have, or things that should be and aren't. It is horrible that we put ourselves through such assult.

I have found something that is helpful for those times I don't even want to get out of bed, and it is this. I allow myself to cry, and I say to myself...I feel like S&#~. I don't want to feel this way anymore, and I sit down and write out a plan. I have so many plans written, It is ridiculous. Some repeat each other, but it helps to put my anger at myself, into action to stop being what I am so mad at.

I read what I have written and force myself to say something nice about myself. "I have pretty eyes"...I have a boyfriend who loves me....anything...I say it over and over until I get out of bed, and do one thing that will work to change me. Eat a healthy meal, go to the gym.

I take it one act at a time, and force myself to do it.

[fiona]

Hi Frodo

I'd second everything Karen has suggested. Anything you fancy that is pampering yourself - something that you do not allow normally.

Talking about it also helps. I had a little "ceremony" that works wonders for me although I have not needed to use it for many months now.

Before I start I decide on a fixed amount of time (usually one hour). I'd set the timer and sit down with a stack of blank paper and pour out all my thoughts, feelings, actions on to the paper in as much detail as I could. As soon as the time was up I put the pencil down, looked quickly through what I'd written, pick out any "Next Step" put those down on a separate sheet.

And finally, and this is important, I'd burn all the other papers and imagine all that negativity being turned to ash - gone for ever. Always made me feel better for the rest of that day anyway.

Forcing yourself into some form of physical exertion, especially when you least feel like it, helps a lot.

Crying, Laughing (go through the Lighter section/watch a comedy), sweating are all forms of release and letting go that aid a quicker return to motivation.

Take Loving, Accepting Care - You are worth it.

[fiona]

http://www.zpub.com/red-rose.gif

and

http://www.adoptioncards.com/cards/hug.gif

[Frodo2001]

I hope I feel better soon. I guess I just need to start believing that I am worth something. But I want to thank everyone for their encouragement and ideas.

[destro]

Dear Frodo2001,
I hope that you are feeling better. I am also a depressed person but it comes in fits and stages. I have lived long enough (51 years) to know that my depressions will probably never totally disappear but that if I can just keep on living and surviving through them that they will diminish and go away for a while.

I have been helped a lot by therapy, anti-depressants, and detaching myself as much as possible from comparing myself to those who "seem" happier, thinner, more successful, richer, etc. than I am. I cannot know their reality just like they cannot know mine.

Depression does have its gifts too, odd though it may sound: it adds an ability to contemplate, to examine one's life, to feel compassion for others.
Let us know how you are doing!

Natalie

[nikkiend]

Frodo,
I'm going thru some depression in my life right now. Yesterday all I did all morning was cry. Later in the day I forced myself to work out. I didn't go anywhere; worked out in my apartment. I felt great afterward. My self esteem was back, I wasn't tired any more. I know that the one workout didn't make me thinner, but I had hope that if I can keep on doing it, I will start looking and feeling better. I just felt much better about myself knowing that I'm taking steps to take care of myself.
I hope this helps. Good luck to you.

[DDMariana]

Hi Frodo...

One more thought to add to all the others... GET BACK ON TRACK with your lo-carbing!!! :cheer: :cheer: Start over with Induction if that's the most convenient place for you..I tend to want something that is very restrictive and disciplined when I'm "starting over". Even if you don't feel better emotionally, start back on track with your WOE. This will really add to the positive factors in your life, and you can deal with each of the others as you begin to balance a bit. (been there... whew!!)
:lol: :lol:

Also, something that tends to work for me is when I feel awful about myself because someone else is so thin and in such revealing summer clothes...I try not to get SAD, and instead I get MAD !!! Not angry at that person, not angry at myself...just at the SITUATION that I'm in... it makes me more motivated to STAY THE COURSE and to make certain it doesn't get any worse along the way to making it much better. Remember, you are a work in progress ...you are not in competition (yet!) :D

Take care of yourself...one area at a time!! :wave:

[destro]

Sometimes if I am feeling TOO depressed to get moving or to exercise, I find that listening to music, reading a book, or even trying to get engrossed in a tv show helps. I am not suggesting that these are "cures" for depression, but sometimes activities that take you "out of yourself" are at least temporarily soothing.

When I feel that I am having a lot of trouble NOT concentrating on my depression I try to find a mystery to read. They are rarely brilliant literature, but tend to have fast-moving plots and it's easy to get absorbed in them.

Of course exercise is BETTER than reading in many ways, but sometimes reading is just the best I can do.

I also find that writing helps. Keeping track of my journal, for example.

Natalie

[Frodo2001]

I appreciate the suggestions that everyone gave me and I feel better now. I did go back to low carbing last week and I've lost a little weight. I'm not perfect but I'm unique and I have to remember that. I know this will be a slow journey and I just have to stay the course. Thanks for the help everyone and I will start writing in my journal again. :)

[nikkiend]

Frodo,
I'm really glad to hear that you're feeling better. Keep your chin up. Things will get better! :)

[destro]

I, too, am really delighted to hear that you are feeling better. In my own experience, depression will pass if I can just wait it out; also talking about it or writing about it helps.

There just got to be a point when I realized that no depressions lasts forever; just as happiness does not last forever.

And what would life be without change?

"I'm not perfect but I'm unique and I have to remember that. I know this will be a slow journey and I just have to stay the course."

I hope that you remember your own words; you are unique and delightful and you have an essential place in this world!

Natalie

[bluebonnet]

Frodo, and anyone else struggling with depression, may I suggest a really awesome place to go and discuss your issues and get help from people who've been there:

Depression Forums (http://www.depressionforums.com)

It's a great place, full of supportive people. There are forums for people having crises, for misc. depression issues, for various meds, for some of the more common depressive illnesses, and other things. I highly recommend this place -- come as a guest and check it out; you might end up staying!

bluebonnet