[BFL] need your help guys...

[Doodle]

I am putting myself out there, asking for all of your support, help/willingness to be straight and if needs be- harsh with me!
I keep self sabotaging.... I tell myself I don't have time... that my kids need me and working out right then would be selfish... that I am too tired... that the new puppy will be traumatised for life if I leave him alone for the amount of time it takes to work out.
I KNOW what I need to do.. i need to set my priorities (HEALTH) and stick to them... I think I have very serious issues that every time I get one step closer to feeling better about myself, I stop working out, and go to MacDonalds... I have been cheating a whole lot more than I have been letting on to you guys or even myself... but it is making me seriously depressed and we are talking even ON TOP of the elephants dose of Prozac i am on.
Why can't I be good to myself? I know how good exercise and TRUE low carbing makes me feel... I know it all but wipes out the anxiety and depression I am so blessed (LOL!) with... I wish we were all in a true real life community.... any thoughts would be so so welcomed.
Doods.
Oh, and I think the best thing would be to start over, yet again, BFL on Monday. What do you all think?
Thanks again. Doods.

[Marlaine]

Originally posted by Doodle
I think I have very serious issues that every time I get one step closer to feeling better about myself, I stop working out, and go to MacDonalds...

Hi Doodle....

I think that this one sentence pretty much sums it up. Some soul searching to come up with reasons why you don't believe that you DESERVE to feel better, physically, mentally and spiritually. What is the pay off for staying stuck as you are? What do you fear will happen if you get looking and feeling better? I think if you can answer these questions, you will be taking a first step toward changing.

Start looking for the GOOD things that you are doing and give yourself credit for them. Sometimes that will be enough to inspire us to have even more good things to count.

Marlaine

[slimchance]

Hey Doodle! :wave:

I don't know if the buddy system will help you or not, but I have started a thread under the buddy-up section looking for virtual exercise partners because I know that I do not have the motivation to do it without someone kicking me in the a$$. With summer here I have every reason to get off my butt and exercise, but I always find myself making excuses. I've even cleaned the house to put off going outside for a run. :eek: Actually it's pretty surprising how much I can get done when i'm procrastinating!! :D

I had to give up BFL a month or so ago because I really did have too much on my plate, but I'm looking to start up with it again, and could use any support I can get. I can usually get myself going if I know that someone is counting on me for something, but if left to my own devices, I get lazy. :yawn:

Drop by the thread if you're interested...the more the merrier...just be sure that you're really harsh with me if I slack off!! :nono:

Cheers!

KC :roll:

[Doodle]

Thanks you two... I WILL drop buy that thread, and I will keep soul searching, it is a never ending process for me... self indulgent eejit that I am! ;)
Doods.

[Doodle]

oh :blush: where is that thread?
Doods.

[slimchance]

I hope this works...the link for the thread...

http://forum.lowcarber.org/showthread.php?s=&threadid=45278

KC :wave:

[Doodle]

:thup:
It worked... you are now officially a forum buff!
Doods... and thankyou!

[Akiwican]

I dont know if you workout at a gym or not? I work out at night so sometimes its hard to summon up the effort but here's what works for me when I am not feeling motivated. I have scheduled my workouts at the same time as my boys activities at YMCA. I think about how good it is for them to be active... I guess I am THEIR workout buddy ;) even though they look at it as playing. Could you do something like this?

Whenever you are trying to talk yourself out of a workout use the argument that you will feel so much better afterwards and YOU are worth the time and effort. If we all cant spare 1 hour for ourselves 3 or 4 times a week something else has to give. So what if the sink has dishes in it or the garden is not weed free. You dont walk around with your house and garden... you walk around with yourself. Sorry... I am going on a bit here, but I'm actually reinforcing a few ideas here for myself as well, right now as I type. :thup:

:wave: Akiwican

[Natrushka]

Originally posted by Doodle
Oh, and I think the best thing would be to start over, yet again, BFL on Monday. What do you all think?


Doods, I think starting all over isnt a good idea. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and continue on. Restarting even once can be demoralizing. You've done the work for those weeks that are past, whether it was 100% or not, you logged the time. The idea behind us all picking up our weights and doing BFL isnt that it ends 12 weeks later. What we learn we incorporate into our WOL.

Do you know why you keep sabotaging yourself? I'm not Raz when it comes to self analysis or understanding one's motivations, but identifying the root of the problem has to be part of figuring out what to do about it. Why not have a look through her Journal? It may give you some insights. And never, ever, second guess that you can ask us for help anytime. We are a real community :)

Nat

[TeriDoodle]

Ok Doods.... enough of all this mushy talk.

No more excuses. This is your way of life and it's more important than just about anything else.... 'cause if you aren't at your best then you're cheating your kids and even your puppy out of a good role model who cares about her health.

Now, GET TO IT!!! You miss NO MORE workouts unless you're sick or injured. You hear me???? GO!! GET STRONG!!! IT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER!!! Then you won't even need that darn Prozak.

Heal thyself!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!

[I'm yelling because I care! :heart: I'm behind you ALL the way!]

[Doodle]

:bhug:
Thankyou so much... and I mean it.
Doods.

[TeriDoodle]

Hey Doods...

I got an email saying that you tried to send me a PM but my box was full.... so I did empty it. Were you gonna blast me back? :lol: You know I was just kiddin' with you, right? You are the sweetest thing....and have a great sense of humor, I would never want to offend you!

Seriously, though, Doods...I know you can do this.... you licked the Candida for pete's sake!! That's not an easy thing to do. You've come so far, but I know that getting motivated to work out is sometimes very difficult. For me, though, NOT working out is much worse....the guilt practically consumes me. This is a person who's spent the last 20 years on the couch. I'm no Nat.

I just want you to feel as good as I feel. We're here to kick your butt anytime you need it. :D

[Doodle]

Teri... I was PM'ing you to thank you!!!!
I am feeling mucho bettero today... I think I need to eat more fat... I have been feeling decidedly "Low-Cal, Low-Fat" lately... you know the depressive syndrome those two bring on? Well, I have caught myself existing on protein bars and shakes lately, the only real fat I am consuming is the butter on my veggies, and there have been days lately when I have gone without said veggies at that!!! BAd bad bad.... I recently applied for life insurance and I am, i think, scared that lowcarbing will have an adverse effect on the blood tests they will surely do.... so I have slipped back into low fat, low cal, while still low carbing... and we know THAT doesn't work. So, I need a total re-evalution and re-start. I need to go back and read my low carb books again, AND DO WHAT THEY SAY. Sorry to go on and on, but I have stopped pretending to be Miss perfect, and I am letting it all hang out from now on!
:wave:
Doods.

[lossiebeth]

LOOK HERE, MS. DOODLE, THIS HAS GONE FAR ENOUGH! I ALWAYS SO ENJOY READING YOUR POSTS AND THINK YOU SOUND LIKE A GREAT LAUGH, AND RATHER LIKE ME (THAT IS *NOT* MEANT TO BE AN INSULT :lol: !). ALL THIS SELF-DEFEAT AND SABOTAGE ARE AWFUL, AREN'T THEY?

ANYWAY, I WAS IN THE LIBRARY THE OTHER DAY AND SAW THE BFL BOOK. I SAID TO MYSELF, "HEY! THAT'S WHAT DOODLE IS DOING" AND GOT IT OUT. NOW I THINK I'LL GIVE IT A GO, STARTING MONDAY WHEN HUBBY IS AWAY AT WORK, PERHAPS. I AM JUST LOOKING INTO IT TODAY, AND ISN'T SUNDAY THE REST DAY? ;)

I FIND THE BOOK A BIT "AMERICAN" (SORRY, FOLKS) AND GUNG HO FOR AN ADOPTED SCOT LIKE ME ;) BUT I AM PERSEVERING WITH IT AND STARTING TO GET EXCITED :hyper:

THE THING THAT CONCERNS ME IS THAT I AM SUCH A PERFECTIONIST. I HAVEN'T READ THROUGH THE EXERCISE BIT (SCANNED IT), BUT WITH THE M.S. AS IT IS, I HIT THE FATIGUE WALL *FAST* AND IF I PUSH PAST IT, I FALL OVER (THAT CAN BE LITERALLY!).

I AM GOING TO HAVE TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO MODIFY THE PROGRAM SO THAT I MANAGE IT BUT IT DOESN'T TRIGGER A RELAPSE. I WANT TO DO IT AND NOT KID MYSELF ON THAT I AM TOO FRAIL, BUT THERE ARE ALWAYS OBSTACLES (SELF-IMPOSED A LOT OF THE TIME), AREN'T THERE? FINDING WHERE TO GET HOLD OF A WEIGHTS ROOM IS ONE OF THE OBSTACLES. I HAVE 3 AND 5 LB. DUMBELLS AND AN EXERCISE BIKE AT HOME, AND ACCESS TO THE CAR A COUPLE OF DAYS A WEEK...

ANYWAY, I'M WAFFLING. THANKS FOR GETTING ME INTERESTED, DOODS. YOU'RE TREMENDOUS :daizy:

[Doodle]

Originally posted by lossiebeth
DOODS. YOU'RE TREMENDOUS :daizy:
Thanks Beth, right back atchya. ;)
I am doing mucho bettero these days, except I am experiencing a cravey day today, So I think I will have a wee bit of a Keto shake with glutamine in it to satisfy (somewhat) myself.
DO give BFL a go... I know exactly what you are talking about when you say they are aspects of it you don't like, I am trying to see beyond all that to the actual info he gives...
Having said that, I have been slacking off somewhat myself lately, funny, if I am doing well with the eating, the exercise suffers and vice versa.. One day I will be a completely stable, even and organised person... yeah right. In the mean time, I will just try to keep my kids fed and clean and warm!
And yes. I DO have a large amount of Yank in me... SOrry! ;)
Doods

[lossiebeth]

And yes. I DO have a large amount of Yank in me... SOrry!

WELL, NOBODY'S PERFECT ;) BEING FROM TEXAS, THIS NORTH/SOUTH DIVIDE IS FAR MORE IMPORTANT THAN SOME OF YALL CAN IMAGINE :lol: I';VE BEEN IN SCOTLAND 20 YEARS, AND STILL FLINCH IF SOMEONE CALLS ME A YANK :D

AS FOR BFL, I MUST LOOK INTO LOCAL FACILITIES BEFORE I "SIGN UP". I WOULD HATE TO REGISTER, THEN FIND OUT IT IS PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO GET TO A GYM 3 TIMES A WEEK OR SOMETHING. I WANT TO BE AT LEAST SEMI-PREPARED BEFORE I COMMIT MYSELF SO THAT I DON'T SABOTAGE MYSELF BEFORE I START.

HOW ARE THE 6 MEALS-A-DAY GOING, BTW? I'M WONDERING IF I CAN BEND THAT ONE, AS I CAN'T IMAGINE ORGANISING THAT; I FIND 3 MEALS CAN BE HARD TO MANAGE! ;) I GET MY PROTEIN SORTED NO MATTER HOW MANY OR FEW MEALS I EAT, BUT 6? I GUESS I WOULDN'T FEEL HUNGRY, HUH? ;)

[TeriDoodle]

Pardon the intrusion from a Texas "yank" ;)....

Beth, there is no reason for you to join a gym.... you can do all this at home! All you need is a set of weights (I bought all I need for $30) and a bench (or a coffee table!). HA! Then you don't have the excuse of "no car to get to the gym!" And you can do your cardio on the exercise bike....you're good to go!! :thup:

[lossiebeth]

you're good to go!!

OH BUGGER ;) I GUESS I'D BETTER GET BACK TO THE BOOK AND SEE WHAT I HAVE TO DO. I WAS ACTUALLY AMAZED AT HOW EASY IT WAS TO COME UP WITH GOALS; ONCE I STARTED, THEY CAME OUT QUICK AND EASILY. MY PROBLEM WAS LIMITING IT TO 5 ;)

AS FOR MY NEGATIVE HABITS THAT GET IN MY WAY, THOSE WERE EASY TOO. GOSH, THIS ISN'T GOING TO BE AS HARD AS I THOUGHT. WELL, EXCEPT FOR THE ACTUALLY *DOING* IT, OF COURSE :lol:

THANKS, TERIDOODLE :rose:

[gwilson38]

Just wanted to check and see how U were doing? I can see that you suffer from emotional eating and as many have pointed out U need to figure out what is causing this for U. There are lots of books dealing with this, one being "get with the program" by Bob Greene. Or maybe U need to talk to a councellor. Also I see U are on prozac. Maybe U need a diiferent antidepressant? I hope things are going well for U. Keep in mind this is a WOL, all of us have our ups and downs.

[Doodle]

Thanks gwilson... Yep, I think I am doing better. I am very much an emotional eater. ANd Believe me, I am very aware of the many reasons that cause this.. I have been in therapy on and off my whole life. The prozac I take is not only for depression, but mainly for OCD and anxiety... also over the years I have been on many different kinds of anti-D's and prozac seems to suit me the best. believe me... this is the happiest I have ever been! (shock horror ;) ). I do so appreciate your concern. It is a real comfort to have this board to go to when I get a minute. I battle over-eating AND under-eating ever day. But I am far from alone :) .
Doods.

[lossiebeth]

HEY THERE, SWEET THING (HOW'S THAT FOR A GOOD TEXAS GREETING, EXCEPT IT SHOULD BE SAID WITH AN ACCENT, SO "SWEET THANG")!

I READ THIS YESTERDAY, BUT COULDN'T ANSWER IT. MY HEART WAS SO FULL I HAD TO MAKE SURE I HAD ENOUGH TIME TO ANSWER PROPERLY. I AM NOT SURE IF YOU ARE LIKE ME, BUT I READ EVERYONE'S POSTS AND THINK HOW STRONG AND CAPABLE AND AMAZING THEY ALL ARE...THEN THERE'S ME :rolleyes: I READ THIS POST, AND WAS OVERCOME BY WHAT YOU MUST HAVE GONE THROUGH TO HAVE HAD TO HAVE COUNSELLING ON AND OFF YOUR WHOLE LIFE, ETC. IN AMERICA, COUNSELLING IS SO COMMON AS TO NOT BE UNUSUAL, BUT IF IRELAND IS ANYTHING LIKE SCOTLAND, DAMN!

I'VE BEEN DOWN A SIMILAR ROAD; POSSIBLY FOR SIMILAR REASONS, POSSIBLY NOT. THE A.D. ROUTE DIDN'T HELP ME AT ALL; I GAVE UP AFTER SEVERAL FAILED ATTEMPTS ON VARIOUS ONES. PROZAC MADE ME FEEL LIKE I'D HAD TOO MUCH CAFFEINE :thdown: I HAVE A FRIEND WHO TAKES IT AND WAS TOLD SHE WOULD PROBABLY BE ON IT FOR LIFE. IT EVENS HER OUT AND HELPS HER SO MUCH. SHE FELT DOWN ABOUT "NEEDING" IT, BUT I REMINDED HER SHE'D TAKE INSULIN IF SHE WAS DIABETIC, OR THYROXINE IF SHE WAS HYPOTHYROID...

I'M GLAD THE PROZAC HELPS YOU AND AM SO PLEASED TO HEAR THIS IS THE HAPPIEST YOU HAVE BEEN IN YOUR LIFE. I HAVE FOUND EACH DECADE HAS GOTTEN BETTER. UNDER 10? FORGET IT; DON'T EVEN GO THERE! TEEN YEARS? NIGHTMARE. 20S? CAME TO SCOTLAND, BAD FIRST MARRIAGE, M.S. DIAGNOSIS, MOVED TO ABERDEEN, STARTED UNI., A MARRIED BOYFRIEND (OOPS, LONG STORY). 30S? MET AND MARRIED CHRIS, GRADUATED UNI., ECTOPIC PRENANCY, MOVED TO INVERNESS. 40S? DISCOVERED LOW-CARBING, MOVED TO LOSSIE, FOUND YOU GUYS...NOT BAD FOR A YEAR AND A HALF :)

YEAH THINGS, DO GET BETTER, THANK GOD. I PRAY YOUR LIFE BECOMES MORE RAINBOWS THAN RAINDROPS, THOUGH IN IRELAND, IS THAT A REMOTELY POSSIBLE WISH? :lol:

[Doodle]

Hi dear Beth...
You seem to be doing so brilliantly... something to aspire to for me. Having said that I am much much better. These last 2 years have been the only time in my life I remember feeling in any way at peace.. and I think to have reached that at 32 is not so bad. My own Grandmother never ever found it, and died miserable and angry and haunted... not knowing there was a clinical, treatable reason for her unhappiness and violent behavior. I am lucky in that I have never been outwardly violent, I took it all out on myself with anorexia and self hurting. Thank god for my kids sake.
I think I am going to have to make a trip to Scotland one of these days (probably when Grace, age 2, turns 18 and doesn't need me quite so much ;) ) I want to have a cup of coffee with you!
Off now to reply to you in our exercise buddies forum!
:) Doods.
Ps, what did you do in college?

[lossiebeth]

MY GRANDMOTHER (GOD REST HER SOUL) CHASED MY MOTHER AROUND THE KITCHEN WITH A BUTCHER KNIFE ONCE. MY MUM WAS 25 AND HAD DISAGREED WITH HER :eek: SHE WAS THE FUNNIEST HUMN IMAGINABLE, AND THE MOST AWFUL. IN THIS DAY AND AGE, SHE'D HAVE BEEN HELPED. AMAZINGLY, SHE LIVED TO A RIPE OLD AGE. WE AREN'T SURE EXACTLY HOW OLD, BECAUSE SHE WAS "39" UNTIL HER YOUNGER SISTER TURNED 65 (THAT REALLY PISSED HER OFF!). THE COURTHOUSE WHERE HER BIRTH CERTIFICATE WAS HOUSED, BURNED DOWN (I STILL THINK SHE DID IT ;) ), SO THERE WAS NO WAY OF FINDING OUT.

I ASPIRED TO ANOREXIA, BUT BULIMIA WAS MY EATING DISORDER OF CHOICE :rolleyes: A COUNSELOR I HAD ONCE TOLD ME THAT BULIMICS TEND TO ASPIRE TO ANOREXIA, BUT ANOREXICS' BIGGEST FEAR IS BULIMIA. INTERESTING. I HAVE DONE SOME SELF HARMING HERE AND THERE, BUT I AM TOO MUCH OF A COWARD, AND DO NOT LIKE PAIN!

AT UNI. I WAS WELL INTO GEARING UP FOR A WELL-PAYING PROFESSIONAL CAREER; I DID ENGLISH AND PHILOSOPHY :lol: I THEN DID A LIBRARIANSHIP COURSE, SO AM QUALIFIED FOR THAT, BUT A BAD RELASPE IN 1994 ENCOURAGED ME TO CHOOSE QUALITY OF LIFE OVER FINANCIAL GAIN, AND I HAVEN'T WORKED SINCE. I FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT (THE AMERICAN WORK ETHIC?) BUT KNOW IT IS THE RIGHT CHOICE. FATIGUE AND STRESS BOTH HIT THE M.S., AND WORKING UNFORTUNATELY TENDS TO STIMULATE BOTH IN ME. NOW AND THEN, WHEN I AM FEELING WELL, I TOY WITHTHE IDEA OF GOING BACK TO WORK; CHRIS LOSES HIS HEAD. AS SOON AS I AM POORLY AGAIN, HE SAYS, "RIGHT, FULL-TIME WORK, IS IT?" ;) WELL, IF THAT DAMNED LOTTERY WOULD JUST COME UP... :rolleyes:

SO MAYBE WE COULD MEET IN THE MIDDLE OF THE IRISH SEA; WE CAN HAVE COFFEE ON THE FERRY ;)

[Doodle]

This is getting weirder and weirder.... My Dad is a poet and a Prof of English in Trinity College here in Dublin, so was my Mum, but now she is a prof of english in UMASS in the states.
I knew you studied english!!!
we ARE twins.
Doods.

[Doodle]

And I haven't had a job since age 18... honestly.
And I don't feel one bit guilty...
I aspire to my eldest daughter marrying prince william (if she loves him and is happy and doesn't take any s**t from the "men in suits") Just so i can really p*ss the monarchy off and be the first irish catholic queen mother... no I am not selfish at all.... ;)
Doods... and pardon my french please.

[lossiebeth]

This is getting weirder and weirder.... My Dad is a poet and a Prof of English in Trinity College here in Dublin, so was my Mum, but now she is a prof of english in UMASS in the states.
O.K., SO NOW IT'S GETTING SCARY. MY MOTHER LECTURED IN ENGLISH FOR AWHILE, AND MY FATHER (THEY DIVORCED WHEN I WAS 2), WHO JUST DIED IN FEBRUARY, DID ENGLISH AT UNI. AND WAS A POET. HE IS LITTLE KNOWN OUTWITH HIS LOCAL AREA, BUT IN AUSTIN, TEXAS, HE WAS QUITE WELL KNOWN AS A LOCAL CHARACTER. HE USED TO SOMETIMES PAY FOR CIGARETTES AT HIS LOCAL CONVENIENCE STORE WITH POEMS, AND GOT HIS COFFEE AT A NEARBY COFFEE SHOP FREE, JUST FOR SITTING THERE AND WRITING.

WHEN MEG MARRIES PRINCE WILLIAM, CAN I PLEASE COME TO THE WEDDING? WE COULD HAVE SOME PARTY! :Party:

WE'VE GOT COMPANY COMING TOMORROW, SO IF YOU DON'T HEAR, I'M NOT IGNORING YOU-JUST PLANNING WHAT TO WEAR TO THE ROYAL WEDDING :lol: I THINK IT IS HIGH TIME WE HAD AN IRISH CATHOLIC QUEEN MUM. THAT MIGHT EVEN BE ENOUGH TO TURN ME INTO A ROYALIST :D