Red Wine evening addiction

[alison38]

I agree with you on the drinking issue. Although I adore him, i think alot of americans - especially women are "Dr. Philled" to death. what I mean is we are on a national rampage to find our inner selves, heal wounds, Oprahing our minds...and maybe being a bit too critical? Again just my thought.


Hi there, thanks for your post and to everyone on this thread.

I think there is a real danger in seeing quite normal day to day stuff as a kind of 'sickness' that needs to be fixed. I am speaking from long experience of twelve steps, therapy, group stuff etc etc. In the end, I got sick of it. I realised that I was free to choose my own life and that seeing everything as a problem was very debilitating for me. There was always something else to 'work on'.

The hardest thing I've done has been to free myself from the tendrils of AA. I'm not decrying it in any way- it works for many people, but not for me. I stopped going to meetings for about five years before I was on a beach in India one incredibly hot day and I thought a cold beer would be nice. And it was. Guess what- the heavens didn't open and I'm not in the gutter or any of the things they 'promised' (threatened) would happen if I drank again. And i've never even been drunk once. I know AA people would have plenty to say about my denial and so on, that's their perogative.

My life has many more choices now becasue I took that step to freedom. But with choices come responsibilities. In some ways it's harder to be 'moderate' than it is to abstain altogether (from food or drink). But I find that I have grown up now around food and alcohol. I realised there is always a point where I have to decide to say that's enough! I guess what I'm trying to say is that before I was looking for a way out from eating problems etc and hoping that it would magically go away. Then one day I realised that everyone has to practice some degree of self control. Once I accepted that I stopped seeing it as aproblem.

I do still occasionally have guilt about drinking wine because the AA programming is still there. I am working on getting rid of that. Writing here feels good actually because I can acknowledge that at times I still get those guilty feelings and anxieties. I have to remind myself that I am an adult human being and I am not powerless.

Ideally, guilt free enjoyment of pleasures is my goal. In moderation of course!

Thanks everyone for all your posts.
Best wishes
Alison

[NinaMarie]

Im sorry to post a reply that goes against what so many of you are saying, but here's the scoop: I'm a bartender, okay, actually that's a lie, I am now a dancer (oh my gosh somone let one of "Those Girls" on the website! AHH! lol) but I tended bar for years and my boyfriend owns a huge nightclub, so let me tell you something... I know what alcoholics are like, and umm, sorry to break it to you but you are NOT an alcoholic!! Youre making yourself sick over a problem that isn't really very large! I would say it sucks to feel like you need something, but you know what, if it really makes you happy to sit down and enjoy your glass of wine while reading, go for it! If you're doing it because it's the only thing that calms your mind, though, then maybe you need an anti-anxiety drug... this a common thing... for people with anxiety or racing minds to self medicate with alcohol....anyway, maybe you need sleeping pills maybe you need nothing but HONEY stop beating yourself up!! You are not an alkie! Anyway, I would suggest to you to break this habit the following system which I myself used..... I think it;s just comforting to have the wine there, so pour yourself a glass and just sip it over a couple hours... that way it's only one glass... I don't know girl, if I were you, I wouldnt even be worrying about this so much :wave:

[suiteangel]

Well girls I came across this doing a search for low carb achohol drink recipes. What an eye opener or a blessing. What can I say this all hit home. I crave in the evenings. I'm 43 no kids at home,all grown. Just wanted to wish you all well. I passed this link on to my aunt. Lord I hope shes doesn't take it wrong! say alittle pray for that one~ wink Good Luck to you all. When I work I don't drink at all ..so I know I can quit this bad habit. I have an unusual schedule. I work at a baseball stadium. So I work when there are games. Sometimes I go 9 day without a drink. And then I just start back to routine when home in the evening. I know it henders me being more active. :wave:

[suiteangel]

Ohhh..feeling better already. thx hehe now where are those recipes?

[LondonIan]

I've got to go with NinaMarie. I come from a culture where daily drinking is entirely acceptable - the same's true across much of Europe. Let's not get carried away.

[KoKo]

I've been on the forum for a little over a year and read this entire thread back then and keep checking back on it, glad to see it's still active. I have all the same problems many of you have posted with my evening drinks. I too struggle with whether I and DH have a problem or not in not being able to let go of it.

O'kay, I have a thought that's been bugging me about (it seems to me) the majority of your posts. I truly hope I don't offend anyone by asking this, it's nothing personal to anyone, just something I wonder about and have questions about in my head. So...

Am I the only one who drinks liquor? It seems like 90% of you drink wine. Now, I have never liked wine so that is probably the difference. It just seems strange to me that so many relax with alcohol and wine seems to be the alcohol of choice. To those of you who drink wine and care to comment, is it a concious thought in your mind that if you're drinking what we all seem to think is either too much of a habit or too much period, it's better that it's wine than the hard stuff? Does it seem as if it would be worse if it was booze instead of wine? I don't consider myself an alcoholic but I have a hard time like alot of you with relaxing without drinks in the evening. I imagine I drink the equivelent of perhaps 3-4 glasses of wine through the evening, except it's vodka and diet soda.

I really hope no one took any offense to these questions, I'm just really curious about the prevelence of those of you that drink wine. I realize there are health benefits to drinking wine, but it seems that for women at least, that's only 1-2 glasses a day and any more than that and it's just as bad for you as any other alcohol. Thanks to anyone who cares to respond about why they drink wine rather than liquor.

Love,
Ali

Hi Ali,

I drink wine, red or white depending. I tend to drink Red in the winter because it seems more warming and white in the summer because I make spritzers which are refreshing. I used to drink hard liquor and tended to drink too much of it, and be terribly sick for days after. This was the main reason I switched to drinking wine even if I was out for the evening and not only at meals. I drink at the same rate I would if it was vodka or scotch but the total alcohol consumed is much less. Usually with wine I don't drink more than a bottle a night and I won't feel ill the next day. I say usually because if I'm upset I MIGHT have more and then I'll be ill the next day. It might be unfortunate that I never get sick WHILE drinking. A lot of my problem might be that when I was younger (and was quite tiny) I could drink many large men under the table and it probably led to bad habits. I also did low carb eating then - back in the early 70's and one of the diet books that was popular was called the Air Force Pilots Diet otherwise Known as the Drinking Mans Diet. So a lot of drinking was done on maybe 8 or 9 carbs of food :spin:
probably not a good thing :lol:

[tholian8]

It might be unfortunate that I never get sick WHILE drinking.
The fact that too much alcohol makes me violently ill, is probably the only thing which has kept me from becoming a card-carrying alcoholic. I have a natural physical limit. (That limit is too high for effective weight loss, which is another issue, but at least it's not high enough to rot my innards entirely.)

[Mousesmom]

Over the course of the last day I have read all of these posts and I have done a lot of thinking on the subject of addiction. There's only one person in my life (my best friend) that I have ever discussed this with. It's a tough issue and it was really hard to come out of the closet as it were.

I know I am a carb addict. That is unargueable. I also know my preferred carbs are those found in white wine. I can't remember that last day where I didn't have a glass, or two, or who knows how many..... The longest I ever went was 19 days after my daughter made a comment to me one day.... Sad day for both of us when she told me she was worried.

When I first read DANDR my thought was "no bleeping way am I giving up coffee and wine" and I didn't. Perhaps if I had done a really clean induction I could have truly broken the bad habits.

Is it a problem? Not in the sense that I get sick, miss work, am ever hung over or drive under the influence. I don't need it to fall asleep. I want it as an escape. It's a habit. A very bad habit. Having the wine at night has meant that I can ignore what's really going on in my life and that is where it's a problem.

I wake up each day going "none today" then I have one as I make dinner.

I know perfectly well it's stalled my weight. I know it adds #s and bloat.

Am I concerned about it? Yes and no. I'd love to break the habit and break the weight stall but something deep down prevents it. Time to go back to counselling to figure out exactly what that is. What am I really afraid of? That I will wake up and realize what a mess my life is? Probably.

Sorry for the long ramble, but I thought I'd share my story too.

Julie

[nitwit]

Hi Julie

I find it so hard trying not to sucumb to drinking, and if you were to ask me how many days/nights in the last couple of years have I not drunk anything at all then I would probably be ashamed, and surprised if it went into double figures.

I enjoy a glass or two of wine, I normally have a glass whilst cooking dinner - it helps me unwind and I do like the taste .... then I will normally have another glass with the meal, and then maybe one afterwards.

It has taken its toll on me weight-wise and after a prolonged session then I loathe looking in a mirror at my bloated face. I am on my third day of not having any wine (had a bit of a heavy night during the weekend) and do feel more bright but know that I will buy a bottle frm the shop before the week is out ... I wish I was one of those people who can just have one glass of wine and then put the cork in the bottle and it stays there ... I am not and it is just trying to work a way around this that is beneficial to both mind and spirit!!!

Lindyx

[tholian8]

One of my friends from MM (http://moderation.org) just put up a very good and informative site on all aspects of controlled drinking. It's called Live Sensibly with Alcohol (http://live.sensibly.org).

I've just been over there and I recommend it highly. There's a lot of good stuff and you can even leave comments!

Emily

[Mousesmom]

I have learned that once a bottle is open, it's gone.

I make my own wine which poses it's own problems......too easy access. I am never without wine in the house.

Lindyx, I know far too well how that goes. I refuse to count. I'm just gonna look forward instead. It's a new day and I need to take control here.

I think I need to make some really hard and fast rules and then reward myself for sticking to them. Someone, can't remember who, said either 2 a day or not everyday. That sounds like a good idea to me. I know once I have one, I have more so the not everyday would probably work better. Also not having it while cooking or with dinner will help.

Good luck....

Julie

Take care, Julie

[49parallel]

I just discovered this forum and I've tried to prusue everyone's responses. I tried Atkins 2 years ago, followed it faithfully for 6 months, lost weight and now try to follow a carb-restricted diet. M ydownfall is booze, Namely beer and wine. I love beer and wine. I love the tate and I love the feeling. I even will go without food to have a drink. I thought I was the only one who would get up in the morning and say I am not going to drink tonight. However that never pans out. I call it the "witching hour". It is true,I think, It is like a reward. I give 110% in my work and as a wife and mother. It doesn't interfer with my work. However i know it does disrupt my sleep and of course I can neve shed those last few pounds. I am not a big person, but on me 10, 15 pounds can make me look awful.
I could drink every day in the evening, but I try to hold off. Here it is Wednesday, my husband is at work and my son is out, so what am I having.....a glass of red wine.
I have never ever shared any of these feeling with my best friend or my husband. I am the little person who can hold their liquor.
Interesting comments from the UK and the US. I think in Canada, like the UK, drinking is much more tolerated. I don't know if that is good or bad. I suppose if some of my friends and coworkers knew that I drank 3-4 drinks 4 to 5 times a week they would be shocked. The scary thing is I would probably drink every evening to get that mellow feeling if I could. I have even hidden my drinking from my husband and son. I will get a bottle of wine or 3-4 beer and hide them around the house then sip out of a travel mug. I usually am doing housework so I find the male species just fades out. So I get a buzz on and time to myself
It's funny the older I get the more I am drinking I supposse that is due to tolerance which should be a warning sign
Anyway I am glad I stumbled across this, I don't feel so alone anymore.
Thnks to each and every one of you.

[49parallel]

As some people of have already commented, hard liquor make me too drunk. At least I can control my drinking with beer and wine. As well in my youth I could get very drunk and ugly. At least with wine and berr I just mellow out.

[Bayrat]

I tend to drink for the carb cravings. I could have cared less for a beer or wine for years, except the occasional party. Since I started the white whine hour every night, my body craves it. If I quit for a day or two, I don't get a crave past the first day. But my weight has stalled due to the wine as well. And it seems to have become an evening habit to dilute the high stress job. Strangely enough, if I have something that contains carbs prior to arriving home, I have no desire for the wine.

[Mousesmom]

I'm surprised to see this thread reopened yet again. There are a lot of us who share the same issue. I thought I would provide an update to anyone who is still reading this thread.

As some of you know from other threads I sustained a moderate concussion three weeks ago from a bad fall. I am slowly recovering but the effects are somewhat like being drunk... My short term memory is bad, I forget to do things or I forget things which are normal for me to do (like which key opens a door). I repeat myself. I am doing better but my balance is still off and I have a long way to go. It scared me pretty bad and I was completely sober at the time (it was at 5:30 AM, taking my morning shower)!

With all of this to cope with I made the decision to not drink anywhere near as much any more. The first drink after the accident made me sick anyway so I didn't have a second for a while..... Doctor also said it would slow my recovery because alcohol counteracts the homeopathic medications I am taking to speed healing.

I went to a party with my new SO on Saturday night and nursed one glass of wine all night. He doesn't drink which helps. He doesn't care if I do though. He commented that I "don't drink very much" which I thought was interesting considering how many times he's seen me under the influence over the years we've known each other. First party I'd been to in years where I stayed sober.

I figured out why I was pouring the first glass as soon as I got home from work - stress. Once I eliminated the main source of stress (my ex), things started to change. I still have stress, we all do, but I'm finding different ways to cope.

So far this week I have only had the one on Saturday and a couple on Tuesday. None Sunday, Monday or last night.

I'm going to take this one day at a time and put the money I would have spent into an account to take a vacation sometime next year to celebrate my success. Disneyland here I come!

Take care all and best of luck, Julie

[rosemarie7]

Hi everyone,

I got a message regarding this thread and decided to read the posts. I more or less gave up on dieting, at least for the time being. I have a new boyfriend and we have done a lot of eating out. I pretty much try to watch what I order and eat half. Dieting seemed to be triggering a lot of binge eating and drinking. I gained maybe 5 pounds, but eating more seems to help keep me from getting too drunk. I also started running 3 to 5 miles. I do agree that drinking does make it very hard to lose weight.

I drink mostly wine or lite beer. I think it somehow helps control my drinking. I know it is probably all the same, but it does seem to help me. I do have to watch the wine though, more than the beer.

I have made some progress with the binge drinking. I had a problem where I wouldn't eat, then go out and get very drunk.
I seemd to have made some progress with that.

I also have been suffering from depression due to little work, and a bad financial and living situation. I hope to get back on track soon. At least my drinking is some what better.

-R.M.

[NewGal04]

Hello, I just saw this thread and instantly was interested, as I was about to put one of my own out. For me it is not necessarily wine, although I love champagne. I must admit, I feel a little dumb as I write this with my gin and diet tonic to my right, but I have to say that I think this is my main problem to losing the last of my weight. I had a very hard childhood, and also come from a LONG line of alcoholics. Don't get me wrong, it didn't affect any of us in such a way that it made us unsuccessful, (my grandfather was a nuclear physicist, I have two college degrees), but I can't seem to turn away a drink. What scares me is that I even get annoyed if I can't have one. I am worried because I don't want to pass this on to my little girl, so I "hide it" by making things when she's not around. I don't even really know what I'm getting at, except for the fact that I am glad that I read this thread. I guess I really don't know where to start....I am afraid to talk to my husband about it because he always tells me how much he thinks of me for being through so much and coming out the "way I did". I don't think I'm ready for AA, (there are a lot of underlying fears with joining), but I know I need to do something. I have been telling myself for the last 4 months that "this is the week I quit". Any way, I'm rambling. I just saw this and started talking. Thanks for your patience!

[Bayrat]

I have been telling myself for the last 4 months that "this is the week I quit". Any way, I'm rambling. I just saw this and started talking. Thanks for your patience!

I have it in my family as well. Usually folks tend to believe you have to quit entirely if you are addicted and that may be so. Sometimes moderation is the key and you seem to recognize there is a problem so you may be able to control that. Try less alcohol or skip days in between to test yourself. If you absolutely have to have it, shake, rattle and roll for lack of it, by all means go for help. If it has no apparent affect, I would simply control the quantity. Before I wrote myself off as an addict, I would stop LC diet and see what happened, that seems to have the greatest influence upon my cravings.

Good luck!

[Mousesmom]

Usually folks tend to believe you have to quit entirely if you are addicted and that may be so. Sometimes moderation is the key ....
What I had to do was figure out what my triggers are and avoid those.

For example, I was at a party last night with my new SO who doesn't drink. I was offered a drink at least a dozen times by his friends but stuck to water (although I had to make an excuse - I have a valid one right now with recovering from a concussion). It was interesting to watch others around me get plastered while I was having my water.... hmmmm

If I had been at the same party with my ex, I would have taken the first and all subsequent drinks. I learned that HE was a trigger for me. Although he and I are good friends, I know if I am around him I will drink. Once I start, it's game over: the bottle, and usually one or two of its friends too are gone.

I don't believe I have to quit entirely. I do believe that I have to make better choices to watch out for trigger people and events. I also believe that there are people who simply cannot/will not make better choices and they need to abstain altogether.

Just my .02

Julie

[NewGal04]

I agree with "watching for triggers". I don't think it's too serious right now because I have stopped during the week, but come Friday night, I look forward to getting a buzz going. But like I said, I was able to stop during the week- I generally don't even feel like it on weeknights because during the week I am so into my workouts that I don't miss it. I'm on the natural high from my daily routine. So I guess for me it would have to be just trying to avoid the "couple of drinks" on Friday and Saturday nights. I have these next two weeks off with my husband and so it may be a little harder to not do it during the week right now. Wish me luck!

[Bayrat]

I'm no AA counselor for sure, but being able to stop at at certain point has to me been my indicator. There are times when I drank too much, knew it and wanted to just to party down. Was always sorry the next day and seldom imbibe to that extent.

You are correct, as a bar tender (second job) years ago when my kids were little, I used to see it all. That prompted me to avoid losing control, a good experience. I suppose that is why I don't like drugs, no control of your actions....not to mention I am right fond of a natural high, blue skies and planer boards out.

[krisdee]

hi all,
i have also found it tough and boring not to enjoy my wine. it also increases my carb cravings and binges. Leaves me very sad. i try hard all week, feel great,have some drinks..bang..blew it,this occurs weekly. also i have a tendancy to be mean and hurtful when drunk.. Any way in conrtoling all this,while enjoying a few wines still? or am i in need of help?

[Bayrat]

hi all,
i have also found it tough and boring not to enjoy my wine. it also increases my carb cravings and binges. Leaves me very sad. i try hard all week, feel great,have some drinks..bang..blew it,this occurs weekly. also i have a tendancy to be mean and hurtful when drunk.. Any way in conrtoling all this,while enjoying a few wines still? or am i in need of help?

First post I see, welcome. I am not here often, too busy. But I do answer when I receive a notification to a post in a thread I like.

Professional help, if you are unsure I would at least look into it. You are correct, the wine seems to ruin the progress! Control is in the mind, at least with me. Later.