mortality issues

[3shewolf8]

Good Morning. I have been a lurker of this area of the forum for a long time but have only written here a few. Today is the perfect day for me to vent. My oldest son is 19 and moving out of our house in a few days, my youngest son is 18 and his grad party is today. I turned 45 a few weeks ago and my parents are seeming to be "old folks" now. Basically I am trying to stay out of a sinking pit of depression. I have started to realize my own mortality. I dwell on how much time I may have left on the planet and wonder the same thing about other people in my family. I think I am heading for a HUGE mid-life crisis and now understand why people do "stupid" things like buy a motorcycle or get a bunch of tattoos or by a sports car. I understand that these things are not really "stupid" but a way of fulfilling your dreams before you expire. I am really struggling with this. I am going to try to pull myself out of it soon or I am going to go talk to my doctor about it. I really love this forum for advice, food suggestions and all of the support. I thought today I would write all of this before the family gets up and we all start the hustle and bustle of getting ready for the party. Thanks for the support and I will check in tomorrow. :D

[Citruskiss]

You might want to consider this time in your life as a chance to 're-invent', rather than seeing it as things ending.

With your kids growing up - you have your life back, in a sense - you'll have the time and freedom to pursue a whole new career or whatever you want to do. This could be a really *great* time in your life, don't you think?

Seems kind of silly, but you might enjoy reading about 'reinvention' here:

http://www.more.com/reinvent_yourself

I get that magazine by subscription, and I am *wowed* by some of the stories in there.

Pick up that magazine next time you're at the grocery store - it might give you a whole new perspective.

Hang in there, and have fun at the party today.

Sara
PS - it's not a mid-life crisis - it's a whole new beginning. :)

[Pshrynk]

Here is a great book about facing our mortality by a great psychologist --

Staring at the Sun: Overcoming the Terror of Death (Hardcover)
by Irvin D. Yalom


http://www.amazon.com/Staring-Sun-Overcoming-Terror-Death/dp/0787996688

[FatFreeMe]

Shewolf, I've been there too. Now, I think back to how hard it was to work full time and raise two kids (pretty much singlehandedly as their dad worked in the oil field and wasn't home much) Now, I look at it as "my time". we enjoy fishing and camping, I have a couple close friends who like to do 'women stuff', I work only part time and love to putter in my yard and plant flowers. I like to take pictures (i wouldn't say I'm a photographer, per se). I guess my point is--find things you like to do and enjoy them. It's your time. Grab a friend and head to a spa! Try that new hobby, whether its learning to sew, or ride a motorcycle, whatever interests YOU, cause now you don't have to please anyone but yourself. Keep your mind busy.
...otherwise, think of your 60% weight loss progress and think of how far you've come to improving your whole life! You've actually added a whole lot more days to your life, your mortality certainly isn't as close as it was when you weighed 245 pounds --now you need to learn to enjoy it!

[kathleen24]

Sometimes when time permits I go to the senior fitness water aerobics class. I call the group there the `gray panthers', and they are a hoot-and-a-half! One old guy offered me tickets to the free senior lunch, and I smiled, and said I *didn't* quite qualify, age-wise. He responded, "You could lurch a little as you walk, put your hand on your sciatica, drool a little, and they'll let you in." Too funny!

I love watching them. They have such a cool time with each other. The teacher puts music on for the class, and some of the songs are favorites; we'll be working out, and they will suddenly starting singing along--the acoustics are pretty fun in there.

I feel as if they are mentors to me, showing me a glimpse of a season of my life that I didn't give a lot of thought to before. Make me look forward to it.

They also have such life experience and wisdom to share, and I just leave w/a general sense that they got through all this, and so will I.


Hopefully, this was a `dark night of the soul' for you that passed, but if not, I would encourage you to seek help getting through this time. Not necessarily to a doctor--only because I think that they often think in terms of a cut-and-dried solution: "Feeling depressed? Here, take these!" instead of being a guide through another passage in your life.

That term comes from an old book Passages: Predictable Crisis of Adult Lives, by Gail Sheehy, that might be worth a read. Check it out on Amazon.

What feels like an ending can really be a beginning; hard to believe when your feelings are telling you otherwise . . .

Hang in there! Congrats on getting son #2 through HS!

[skeeweeaka]

You might want to consider this time in your life as a chance to 're-invent', rather than seeing it as things ending.

With your kids growing up - you have your life back, in a sense - you'll have the time and freedom to pursue a whole new career or whatever you want to do. This could be a really *great* time in your life, don't you think?

Seems kind of silly, but you might enjoy reading about 'reinvention' here:

http://www.more.com/reinvent_yourself

I get that magazine by subscription, and I am *wowed* by some of the stories in there.

Pick up that magazine next time you're at the grocery store - it might give you a whole new perspective.

Hang in there, and have fun at the party today.

Sara
PS - it's not a mid-life crisis - it's a whole new beginning. :)

I'm wowed too, thanks for the link...reinvention...they are definitely DOING IT!

TJ :rheart:

[Ann1231]

I'm going thru the same thing. My son (only child) will move to college next month, I'm 46, have been a sahm these last 19 years. One day I feel like the best part of my life is over and the next I'm kind of excited to do my own thing now.

I love the reinvention idea and thinking of it as a beginning. It is scary though. It's kind of like I've lost my job and don't know where to go next!