People treating you differently

[gusman]

I have recently lost around 60-70 pounds. I am 25 years old and frequent the bar scene. The night before thanksgiving was the first night that I went out in quite some time. A lot of people commented on my weight loss however I felt that people were treating my differently. I thought the reception was going to be all positive, but I felt like some of my male friends were treating my differently than the last time we spoke when I was 280 pounds. I am wondering if other males view me as more of competition for females than before. I think when you are the big guy other males dont think you can get girls so they are more open to being around you? I think girls treat me differently now too? Do you guys see what I am saying or have any insight?

[jschwab]

You are 6"1' so it IS probably disconcerting for people to see you looking svelte. Just give it time...

[3shewolf8]

Yep. You are hot and way more competition.

[brown-eyes]

I have noticed this...girls that used to be really friendly now seem a bit standoffish...its probably because I am smaller than all of them now but I would be happy for them if they were the ones losing the weight.

[Ptrcmcc6]

I find that people look at me differently since I've lost weight but not so much in a "stand-offish" way. I'm 47 years old so my bar scene days are somewhat a thing of the past but I do notice guys who never thought to take a 2nd look at me when I was heavier are now looking twice. Sometimes even 3 times..... :lol: .

[Get2Bslim]

There is a huge difference in how I have been treated. When I was slender it was hard to make female friends. If they were fat it really could swing either way if they were nice to me or not but normally nice. If they were skinny they were almost always catty. If they were nice and not catty it was normally because they were hitting on me, and me being a bit naive normally did not catch that until a little late in the game. Being fat it not happened once LOL. Guys are not the only shallow ones!

Now that I gained weight women are so much nicer to me now. They smile at me which I found to be mind blowing!

Now guys. Used to break their neck to hold a door open for me, now most are more than willing to drop it on me even if I am just a couple feet behind them. Quite humbling. Very rare a guy my age is friendly in public or smiles though (unoften) some do. Old men though treat me the same.

The changes in treatment are huge and when I get skinny again I will probably be always wondering if they are just nice because I am skinny? Guess I should be happy I am already married and do not have to worry about that part, because my husband swears I am just as smokin' at a size 20 as a size 2. He is a huge liar but I love him for it :D

[gusman]

I think that society makes people who are overweight feel like they have something wrong with them. Over time this concept or emphasis on being slim that we have created manipulates our personality.

[mainecyn]

I went thru atkins once before with major success and I notced the same thing completly. I had always kind of blended into the woodwork and was always just the friendly one..then eventually
instead of being a friend to the guys they were looking at me differently, I still acted the same that didn't change, but they did. I remember the funniest thing being when one of them told me that he was now interested in more than friendship..I told him that after all I learned from him as to how he treated his girlfriends in the past (we were friends and he always talked about who he was dating etc), thanks but no thanks.

I gained almost 40lbs of it back. I am not as large as I was previously, but now that I gained some of it back I notice that I'm treating myself differently-when I was loosing I was happy with myself and felt up all the time..now that I have gained these lbs back I see myself as not worthy.

[shellienz]

Its scary and it can do your head in.
I grew up fat, and the first time I lost a lot of weight I thought I'd moved to Mars. Men starting leaping over tables to sit next to me (seriously!), guys would try to make eye contact across the bar and I actually would gesture, who? Me?
Aahhh, it was fun, but dangerous because I had absolutly no coping skills or experience with that sort of thing.
You will find that lots of people will start treating you differently and for different reasons. Just try to enjoy yourself and listen to what your Mum tells you!!!

[Cleave]

I have recently lost around 60-70 pounds. I am 25 years old and frequent the bar scene. The night before thanksgiving was the first night that I went out in quite some time. A lot of people commented on my weight loss however I felt that people were treating my differently. I thought the reception was going to be all positive, but I felt like some of my male friends were treating my differently than the last time we spoke when I was 280 pounds. I am wondering if other males view me as more of competition for females than before. I think when you are the big guy other males dont think you can get girls so they are more open to being around you? I think girls treat me differently now too? Do you guys see what I am saying or have any insight?

I'm sure your getting treated differently by the girls. Hell, enjoy it! You've worked hard and deserve a little extra attention! Don't get a complex or feel bad about looking good. Accept it for what it is! I'm not sure about other dudes though. I really don't think guys look it at that way (competition) thing or whatever. However, your probably much more confident that you used to be. Maybe better body language, you're probably more talkative and are smiling more. Rather than seeing you as competition, they're just seeing another confident Alpha male in the house.

Since I've lost weight I get a lot more attention too. My wife loves it when we go out and other women are making comments about me. :D

[Jenai]

Yes, I went from 275 to 153 a few years back and people did treat me differently. The needed time to adjust. In the office environment some were motivated by my progress and lost weight on there chosen plans, some started telling me to stop loosing weigh, some acted a tiny bit caddy. I noticed after a time though, these same people couldn't or didn't remember when I was much much bigger. They adjust, the new wears off and it's like it never happened.

On the flip side, it is MUCH more uncomfortable to run into someone again after gaining all this weigh. I see a bit of contempt and a uncomfortable shocked look in their eyes. One woman even said "WOW what happened to YOU"? Much better that they are uncomfortable with your success than with your failures.....