Too fat to enjoy life?

[MyJourney]

So this post is sort of an emotional release for me.

I am losing weight, feeling pretty good about things and I want to be more physically active. I am about 260 now and I am moderately active. I use the elliptical and I go walking daily but I was thinking about trying something new and fun where I can be physically active. I walk 6 miles a day and use the elliptical regularly and consider myself to be fairly physically fit and I didn't think that lack of physical ability would prevent me from doing any of the things I wanted to, just my weight.

I found this ad on craigslist for pole dancing. I thought that might be fun, I didn't expect to look great doing it but I figured it would be a way for me to incorporate some fun dancing, build muscle, learn something new and different. Of course I worried about any weight limits and the lady wrote back and suggested that no one over 150 pounds should try it and suggested an aerobics class.

Then I thought perhaps a rock climbing gym would work. I wrote to the gym asking about my weight and received no answer. All I could think about is going there and the harness not fitting or someone loudly asking what I weigh to make sure the harness can support my weight or something traumatic like that.

I contemplated taking a martial arts class. I wrote to the school and they kindly suggested that it may be easier on me if I lost some weight first. I told them that I walked a lot and lifted weights etc. They still didn't think it was a good idea.

I considered skiing back when it was winter but was told that I would never be able to find ski boots that fit my massive calves.

I saw an aerial trapeeze exercise class that looked like fun (can you tell I love heights?) but I wouldnt even think about writing them and asking if I am too big. I already know the answer.

I would love to learn to ride a horse but I was told at my size it would be too much for the poor animal.

I am not tiny and graceful but I just want to try some kind of new activity that I can enjoy and practice and not lock myself indoors all the time. I mean they keep saying people need to be more active but how can I do that if I am too fat to do anything but walk on a treadmill or go to curves?

One of the reasons so many of us are insecure about our size and being active is because when we want to do something we get the type of feedback that I am getting. Come back when you are thinner, come back when you are worth something as a human being.

It isnt just with exercise either. Its the nurse that makes a big deal about finding a big blood pressure cuff that will fit your arm, or the doctor that asks, unbidden, what you are doing about your weight problem when you went to see them about a totally unrelated issue. Its about you sitting on the train and some person walking up to you and telling you how they lost weight or suggesting some new diet or wanting to treat yourself by going to a spa for something and having someone make a big deal about finding you a bigger robe. I am tired of going out to a restaurant or grocery store and having people examine my shopping cart or trying to see what I am eating and commenting. Dreading the idea of having to take a plane to travel anywhere.

I just don't understand how some people can just shrug it off like its nothing and just not let it get to them. I try to tell myself that life is too short and I can find something else. I just feel like I am better off locked inside with some exercise DVD by myself where I belong until I can become a worthy part of society again.

Anyway, sorry for my rant. I just needed to vent with some people who can hopefully relate.

[jschwab]

I totally understand, although I have never experienced the kind of discrimination you've described when trying new things. 150 just to even try pole dancing - that's ridiculous! Once, when I was younger I took a whole bunch of dance classes at a particular studio. I was good, could keep up and danced as well or better than the others in the class. But the director made a comment about my weight holding me back my one day when we talked about my progress. Looking back I realize he just thought maybe I could be really good if I lost weight, but I didn't hear that at the time. I just heard, "you're too fat". Another thing is people who are naturally thin hear "260" and it sounds huge to them even though there are plenty of fit people at that weight - maybe showing up would be a better strategy than calling and asking. They might just have no conception of what 260 might mean.

Lately I have gotten a tiny bit of crap about running (you'll ruin your knees!) but, in general, people have been very supportive, especially at races and at the gym. Awhile back I was doing a five mile race. It was a double loop so I was ending my first loop as the first few runners were finsihing their second loop. One guy fighting for a place in the top three took the time to tell me I was doing great. I was really touched. And lots of people stayed to cheer me on even though I was the last runner in. The support is there; you just have to find it.

Recently, I have started a lot of new activities besides the running (was pregnant for four years straight so I'm making up for it) and people have been very supportive. There are places to find support for doing any activity at your size. People your size regularly do triathlons, for example. I know Junonia.com has special skiing clothes for your size (and for every other sport, for that matter). I am taking a static trapeze class right now. I just started, it's very difficult, I can't climb the rope and my weight definitely makes it harder, but the teacher has been nothing but encouraging, telling me eventually I will get it. On a positive note, I was the most talented in my class on the tightwire.

I would say that triathlon and running communities are definitely really supportive and they are easy activities to get into, so if you are interested in that, it could be a possibility. The other activities you mentioned seem like they would at least be a good try, even if it ended up being too much right now. Horseback riding may really have a weight limit, I don't know.

Check out Junonia.com for their sportswear - don't let their summer catalog fool you, I am pretty sure in the winter they have ski clothes. www.slowfattriathlete.com may be interesting to look at for inspiration, even if you are not interested in becoming a triathlete (I just got my plus-sized triathlete's suit for my birthday!). The forums at runnersworld.com have a lot of information about equipment and advice for heavier runners (called "Athenas"). I can't think of anything else, except for trapeze, Ikea has rings you can rig up in your house. There is a weight limit of 225, but I've used them with no problem at your weight. See if you like hanging around on the rings or the trapeze.

Good luck! I think you'll find something that will work.

Janine

[auntchata]

Very well said!!!!!!!! Those looks are deadly and so off putting.

[erinleigh]

Myjourney!

I am sorry to hear about your struggle. I too am a big girl and have/had difficulties finding activities that suit my needs and are of interest.

I do not think horse back riding has a weight limit. I have gone horse back riding at my heaviest of 285. You can do that.

I believe its true that people don't realize weight as a number versus weight on a human. I weight 235...do I look like it? To me I do. To others they drop there jaw when I say that number.

What I do when I feel like the encouragement isn't there. I set mini goals for myself. Like once I get to 200 I am going to join the community center here in my town and start going to the hip hop dance classes and water aerobics (not yet comfortable to jump around in a ppol in a suit!). I also set goals that once I get into 220's I am going to do pilates and erotic dance DVD's at home.

Set things like that...or just show up and see...doesn't hurt.

Good Luck to you! I know you will find something that works best!

Keep Smiling!

E

[Judynyc]

:agree: Yes, I can totally relate!! Sorry you are having to deal with this.:(

I actually found a Pilates intructor near me who specializes in teaching classes for larger women...it was very cool!! :thup:

[MandalayVA]

If people are staring and/or commenting, call them on it. LOUDLY. Although it's been my experience that other people aren't nearly as interested in what you're doing as you think they are. :D

You might want to take a look at CrossFit if you want to shake it up a little. They have you doing all sorts of things--firemen's carries, hurdle jumping--and it's a very mixed group and very encouraging. Since you're close to SF I can't imagine they wouldn't have a group there--look them up on the web.

[Sandollar]

I'm waiting to get below 200 so I can ride a horse. It will be my reward.

Do you like swimming? What about plus-sized Yoga? Or a hip-hop dance class?

[jschwab]

Oh, you're close to SF. That explains why all these people have been crappy to you. That would never happen in Philly. My in-laws are in Palo Alto and you would think being fat was equivalent to a crime. My lovely cousin is in SF, used to work at the Y. She was hugely supportive of my running, even though both she and her husband are superathletes (he does ultramarathons). In my experience, the real athletes, as opposed to the gym bunnies, are always interested in sharing their obsession, no matter what. Adult athletes are just geeks and activity nerds at the end of the day, after all. We all want people to share in our enthusiasm.

Janine

[LessLiz]

Been there, done that, sorry it is happening to you. Very sorry.

I have a suggestion you might think is beside the point. Look at your stats in your profile, see how they are blank? That tends to indicate that *you* are not comfortable with your size, even here, where you are far from the biggest person around and no one care what size you are anyway. My suggestion is make a conscious effort to accept yourself, and a start would be filling in those stats.

Many, many people are just plain cruel to fat folks. Many more have no idea what message they are sending -- those gyms you contacted for instance. The best armor you can have against those people is accepting your size and knowing you are moving forward.

If you want to do more and different things, especially if gym and class things are what you are looking for, I suggest you make a list of every gym in the area, get appointments to be shown around, and go visit every last one of them. Ask about the things you are interested in. You'll be able to tell quickly if you are in the right place or the wrong place. This is another example, sadly, of kissing a lot of frogs to find a prince. Some gyms, dance instructors, etc. are just freakin fat phobic and they don't want us there. Fine, be an ass. But not *all* of them are that way. Don't let little green weinies stop you from finding what you are looking for.

[Bat Spit]

I think Liz has a good point. People shudder and cringe when they hear a certain number, but they have no idea what that weight actually looks like. Go in and ask. Don't ask for opinions, just ask if the equipment has a weight limit and if so, what it is. You should never have to volunteer your numbers if you don't want to.

Its possible that the pole dancing poles have a limit for some of the moves.

I contemplated taking a martial arts class. I wrote to the school and they kindly suggested that it may be easier on me if I lost some weight first. I told them that I walked a lot and lifted weights etc. They still didn't think it was a good idea.

Next time, just show up. Again, I don't think they have any concept of what those numbers mean. If you show up and you're comfortably mobile and carry yourself with strength they are less likely to just decide you're too big. Also, if you just show up and ask questions you're more likely to see an instructor, who might have ideas on how to work with you or other approaches that might work better, than an office bunny who will just say no out of hand. Plus, actually showing up shows more interest in commitment. It might make a better impression, and that might get a better reception.

Have you thought of belly dancing? Its a great workout and if anyone tries to tell you you can't do it at your size they're lying because I took a class when I was at my heaviest and it was fun. I suck at it, but its still a lot of fun1

How about a swimming class or water aerobics? If your schedule permits, try to find one geared at seniors. No one in those classes will care in the slightest how you look. And they expect a wide range of ability there.

I just don't understand how some people can just shrug it off like its nothing and just not let it get to them.

The people who matter don't mind, and the people who mind don't matter.

I really try to live by that.

If people have nothing better to do than examine the contents of my shopping basket, well, they're welcome to. They don't know me, or how I live my life, or how much I've changed things in the last 3 years, or anything relevant.

If someone comes up to me these days with a weight loss story, I just answer by saying "yeah, I've lost 120 lbs in the last 2 years. Takes forever doesn't it", or something like that. Not that people tend to do that to me. Although one person did the last time I was at Disney and I sicced a staff member on her for soliciting on the Disney property. Inappropriate.


The best armor you can have against those people is accepting your size and knowing you are moving forward.

I think this is also important. I know that I used to be so big it was too far to walk to the curb to get the mail. I was sick all the time. I really couldn't function very well, even though I didn't really know that at the time.

Now I'm strong, and healthy, and active. No, I'm not thin yet. Maybe I won't ever get to thin, but I most definitely don't take attitude from people who don't know my history, or my lifestyle.

Which isn't meant to invalidate your post. I still have days where I definitely feel that I'm being treated like a second class citizen because of size. I just work really hard to remember that they don't know what I'm doing, and they don't know how far I've come.

And really, I'm the same person now I was 120+ ago. I'll probably be pretty much the same person in another 120-. If they don't like me now, they probably won't like me then either, so just brush them off and go on.

[Kisal]

Your weight is not so high that you would be a terrible burden to a horse! What about all those big, tall cowboy-type dudes who weigh as much or more than you? No one would think twice about them getting on a horse! And for that matter, if you've ever seen a group of guys go hunting on horseback, some of them are pretty big, too, and they also have their horses loaded down with gear!

I had a friend who weighed well over 300 lbs, and she rode horses all the time.

[rightnow]

Listen, look again for martial arts. NOT a class. An independent sensei. I've known senseis who took 300# women simply because their true interest is students who are genuinely dedicated to the art -- not just students they think will be great immediately. Understand that larger dojos have a lot of worries about insurance and appearances and things like that, plus different arts have different requirements. You might see if you can find a listing from the major national MA societies and find someone in your region; some Senseis have homemade backyard dojos and things like that. MA would be fun for you and you can definitely do it at that weight. Aikido would be good as it is not high contact or extreme (at least in more common beginner forms) and it has staff training as well. I think Baerdric would know way more about that.

[lowcarbUgh]

Why not scuba diving? There are plenty of large divers and you live in a great area to do it. It doesn't take a large amount of exertion because you have neutral buoyancy in the water, but it burns a lot calories because of working against increased pressure. I dove for years before it was sanctioned that type 1 diabetics could dive. Don't let people tell you that you can't do things. Do them anyway!

[Gypsybyrd]

I too understand your feelings on this. I've certainly experienced the same, or similar, feelings and encounters. I'd wouldn't be surprised if there are more people who don't just shrug it off but rather internalize it - that's what I do. People just don't see how it affects me.

Now that being said, two things popped into my mind. First, a la Nike: 'Just Do It!' Second, it's easier to ask forgiveness than permission - just show up.

Everybody pretty much said what I was thinking: just show up, if they see you they will be much less inclined to turn you away; horses were built to carry a LOT of weight - riders and their gear; skiing gear in larger sizes is available - maybe not at the rental counter but you should be able to find some; pole dancing is not just for those who aren't overweight - I've known some larger women who've done it; and as for martial arts - just show up. I took a class (only one) and nobody told me I couldn't be there - and I weighed 250. Mind you, I was horrible at it - but I did it and there were no problems.

As for rock wall climbing - I've done it. Horribly, but I did it. When I got there, the harness didn't fit. I was embarrassed but I was pissed b/c they didn't tell our group there was a weight limit. When the manager asked why I was turning the shoes back in I told him b/c the harness was too small. He immediately told me they have extenders just for that reason. He did what he could to lessen my embarrassment and got me the extender for the harness. It worked, I was still embarrased b/c everyone (all thin) in the group knew what was going on, and it ruined what should have been a fun evening for me, but I got out there and tried it. Guess what? The gear held me - and I weight 250.

I LOVE kayaking. Everytime I go though I rent a kayak. Every time the shop asks me how much I weigh. The first time (even the second and third times) I thought, after hearing the questions, they would turn me away. Nope! They just wanted to make sure they gave me a kayak that had a big enough opening for me to sit in - that way I wouldn't be embarrassed. Of course, I always ended up with a bigger opening than needed b/c people don't *know* what 180, 200, 220, 250 LOOKS like - they imagine an freakin' elephant.

I've had problems at baseball games - those seats are kinda small. But that just means I have to slide out from between the arm rests instead of jumping up. I thought, yesterday, people were snickering - and it bothered me. But, I enjoyed the game because I was showing them I wasn't afraid to be seen in public (although I was embarrassed) having a good time.

Bowling is another activity you might enjoy. There's no weight limit there! What about bike riding? Again, if there is a weight limit, you're well under it.

Just remember - you're not alone, although it may feel like it. *hugs*

~Robyn

[gem52372]

Oh the horse back riding thing..I went several times at my heaviest years ago that was 306 so dont let weight stop you. And let me add that horse had no trouble with the weight...only me having trouble getting on the damn thing LOL On one try I went right over the darned thing and to the ground I went...LOL There thats my graceful moment hehe

[Wifezilla]

Look for a belly dance instructor. Some only want to teach young Barbie types, but in my town, there is a group of fantastic instructors that teach all ages, sizes and abilities. For the longest time I was the biggest one in the class. Not any more, but the supportive environment never allowed me to feel bad and not enjoy the fun :D

[Mousesmom]

I did belly dancing for a while and loved it although I really sucked at it.... There were women of all sizes and shapes all LOL together as we tried to do the moves.

I went through the local recreation centre rather than a dance studio.

When I was at my heaviest water running and water aerobics was suggested to me.... just a thought - I never did it.

I agree with the person that said you are NOT too big to ride a horse... those cowboys are not little guys!!!

Steph - if you want to to hip hop again, I'd be happy to trample on your feet....

Julie

[FatFreeMe]

Like others I have tried belly dancing. Just grab a friend and go. My friend and I used to call it our Belly Laughing class.

I've never tried martial arts, but I've done Tai chi--its a work out. I loved it, but the class ended when the instructor left town.
I also do the Walk away the pounds with Lesley sansone videos, mostly in the winter time. and I still occasionally pull out the Sweatin' to the oldies. the louder the better.
I swim, but I don't care who sees me in a bathing suit.
..and like someone else said.. horseback riding should be ok! I was around them a lot as a kid at my friend's house and her dad was huge--rode all the time.

[pennink]

I rode my own horse when I was 279.

Here's the problem. You need someone strong enough to hold the stirrup on the other side when you mount (from a block) in order not to hurt the horse's back. I have once, mounted, and didn't watch carefully and the horse fell over. No lie.
Luckily she was okay and I got out of the way. We used a taller 'block' (actually an overturned water trough or a pick up truck bed) to get me up after.
Now, that was my own horse. I was responsible for it. Oftentimes riding schools will have weight limits for riders and they don't have large enough saddles. (Seriously, I was crammed into mine last year)

that said, check out a few (go to see them so you don't have to say your weight if you don't want to). A lot of places have some bigger horses that can take the extra weight. Many men are your size, so its not like you're way over what they can carry at all!!!

What about roller skiing? They have these new lawn skiis that you use just like cross country. That sounds like a blast.

[ValerieL]

I'm impressed you have the courage to want to try all those things. I wanted to do them all when I was heavier, too, but was too afraid I wasn't strong/fit/small enough, whatever, and didn't try.

I did do TaeKwonDo for a while at my heaviest, the instructor didn't have any trouble with me being in the class. I tried indoor rock climbing when I was about 220-240 lbs, it wasn't too bad and there were harnesses that fit. I'm surprised they can know you can't wear skiboots, not all big people have calves that are too large, but perhaps you measured and know for sure. I've done water aerobics, too, lots of fun and not too difficult at a higher weight.

Hmmm, there is a pole dancing fitness class in my neighbourhood, I was even thinking of trying it out, but I'm not less than 150 even now! I wonder if that is a real weight limit or if they were just giving you a hard time.

[MirageBBW]

I understand how you feel about being to fat, BUT you really are not to large to do any of the activities you wanted to do. I cant wait to be your weight but I have a ways to go.

I think honestly the problem is besides the rude people you spoke with is that you ASKED, not went and said I am here to do this. I find people will turn you away if you ask not demand to be treated fairly.

Pole dancing we have a class here I am too heavy for it because the website states the poll can hold a maximum weight of 300 lbs, so you are not to big the instuctor just didnt want to be bothered.

Horseback Riding, I have been riding when I was 385 - 400 lbs you just need a horse that can handle your weight and that is about 14 hands, I was on a horse that was 15 hands at the higher weight so I would think you would only need 14 hands or below which is how they meausre the horses, so you can ride a horse just have to be more persistant and show up and say I am here to take lessons, dont give them the option to say NO.

Belly Dancing is also a great suggestion too, you might really enjoy that as well.

Also being in the SF area you can always put an ad out for activity partners in your age and weight range to try new things with so you wont have to go it alone.

As for skiing you could find boots, I have seen 300 lb men go skiing and have no problems with there clothing or boots.

It is a shame the world is still so against people of size.

Dont give up on what you want to do, just keep searching for fun new things to try.

[pennink]

I
Horseback Riding, I have been riding when I was 385 - 400 lbs you just need a horse that can handle your weight and that is about 14 hands, I was on a horse that was 15 hands at the higher weight so I would think you would only need 14 hands or below which is how they meausre the horses, so you can ride a horse just have to be more persistant and show up and say I am here to take lessons, dont give them the option to say NO.

.

14? with all due respect, you'd need a much bigger horse as 14 hands is technically 'pony'. Mine is 15'2 and that's not huge.

You just need to go to the stable and see how they react. It's all about insurance nowadays.

[rightnow]

In all fairness, it rather seems like it should be about the poor horse. :-)

[MirageBBW]

The horse I was on was no pony, He was 15 hands. He held my weight just fine. I went to the stables in Northern California that had a BBW friendly program with a BBW group I was associated with when I lived there, I believe she has since closed her doors, but it was nice they had horses for all sizes up to 500 lbs I believe and they had it all set up with stairs and such to get on the horses better.

[pennink]

In all fairness, it rather seems like it should be about the poor horse. :-)

ya really, but when is anything about much other than dollars?

[Sandollar]

In the middle ages Knights used to ride horses in full suits of armour. They probably weighed 400-500 lbs and had to be lifted on to their mounts with a chain.
However, the horses they used were great horses...probably mixed draught and at least 16-17 hh., if not more.

[MyJourney]

I wanted to thank everyone who responded. I have been so overwhelmed by the support I received on this thread. I honestly felt bad for whining, I just reached a point where I felt I couldn't take anymore and snapped with my rant.

I think I will look into a belly dance class and scuba diving. I suppose one of the reasons I call in advance is because I want to avoid going somewhere and having someone just start laughing or telling me in person that I am too fat to do something, because I don't think I would be able to stop from crying.

Yes, Liz, you are very right. I am not comfortable with my body at all. I think a lot of it has to do with guilt. I LCed before and lost so much weight and looked absolutely incredible and then things happened in my life and emotional eating crept in and boy did I gain it back and then some in a very short period of time. I think in some ways I don't even want to admit to myself that I gained the weight back since I worked so hard and looked so good the first time around. I mean even though I acknowledge my weight and I weigh myself daily, somehow posting them in my stats is almost like an admission of failure, if that makes any sense and has just been hard for me to do, but I think I need to. I need to get over the past and just live my life as I am now.

Janine, thanks for the triathlon information and the links! I checked them out and I am definitely going to read more about it. I don't know that I have the endurance for running just yet but I suppose that can be worked on. I live in Los Gatos which borders San Jose and I swear, its the entire Bay Area. If you are fat you need to be locked up in fat prison and kept away from civilized society! I mean I even tried posting on Craigslist about looking for an activity partner and they flag my post each time and I get nasty emails and comments. There are often numerous threads on craigslist saying things like lets flag any posts that mention bbw etc. and keep these people off of craigslist. Its very frustrating when you live in an area where being fat is considered a contagious disease. I wear a size 18 in pants right now and I often go out to a restaurant or a grocery store (whole foods) and I think to myself that I am the heaviest person (or at least female) in here. I probably should try to stop noticing things like that.

To those that suggested plus size classes, I WISH we had something like that around here. I would join in a second but I have looked and looked and can't find anything. Occasionally I see a post on Craigslist about someone wanting to start a group but it never seems to generate enough interest... That or it gets flagged like mine did.

To those who said a horse could support my weight, thank you so much! Its something I would love to learn how to do and I will look into it more. I looked a little bit and the places I found have said no one over 250 and I can just picture myself going there and someone asking me my weight and I would just feel so uncomfortable. One place said that weight didn't matter but that you have to be able to get off and on the horse without any help. I don't know if I would be able to do that. I will definitely look around for more places.

Thank you again for being so supportive and I am feeling so much more motivated about trying to find an activity where my size wont matter as much.

[Wifezilla]

:hugs:

We all know exactly how you feel. Being over 40 has given me a different perspective though. I am more likely not to give a &^~#^~#~ what other people think :D

[HalfPass]

A 14 hand horse in indeed a pony. A 15 hand horse is actually quite small, though some stock horses are built pretty sturdy. Some smaller horses are actually better weight bearers, depending on build a small stock built QH could often carry more weight than a 17 hand lanky TB.
I rode my own horse at 270. I am a skilled/balanced rider and in retrospect it was too much weight for my large boned 17hh horse. What saved me was the balance that I have from years of riding. A general rule is that a horse should carry no more than 20% of its body weight (and that includes tack). I am sorry to say that at 500LB's, there is no way that a person should be riding a horse.
My horses were my biggest motivation for losing weight :-)

[jschwab]

Good luck! It's totally a problem where you live. I have always been shocked at how my in-laws talk about fat. I live in Philly where everyone is fat - nobody blicks an eye. I am a size 18W pants at 209 and I think I definitely look thin enough to do all of these things mentioned. I never thought I could run, either, until I tried weighing around 235. It turned out I had great lung capacity and a lot of endurance - who knew? I couldn't even do the mile run in high school when I weighed less than 160. If there is something you can't do, be rest assured that for you there are 100 thin people that can't do it either.

I can tell you something else I learned while running road races. I have been passed by very thin people; I have passed very thin people. I have been passed by very fat people; I have passed very fat people. Fitness has a lot less to do with size than we sometimes think. Most people my size drop out before they even start, which is a huge shame because if they didn't they would prove to themselves that they could do it.

I wish you a lot of luck!

Janine

[MyJourney]

After this thread I decided to browse through craigslist to try an find an activity partner. This is a thread that I found and an example of threads I see on there all the time around here

BBW and overweight women- question for you (mountain view)

I was wondering if you LIKE to be fat and if so why? I would find it very troubling to be in that condition knowing my health was jeoprodized and that I was so unattractive. Is it really hard to try to stop eating so much crap? I always see the fat ones in the drivethrough at fast food places, even too lazy to walk and get a burger its got to be thrown through the window like an animal at feeding time. Why do you live like that?? You have a choice- was wondering why you all chose that?

Signed
A thin, lean 37 year old woman. Who eats food (so dont call me an anorexic)but exercises and does sports....

[jschwab]

That's horrific! If it's any consolation, I work with people from all over the US and the Bay Area is my least favorite place to have to work on because of the arrogance and meanness of the groups there (I do community organizing). On the other hand, there are good people everywhere - sometimes, you just have to find them.

It's not you!

Janine

[Baerdric]

Humph! I was "lean" at 37 too, but God Forgive me if I was ever that self-righteous.

[pennink]

HER health would be seriously "jeoprodized" (God help me and my red pen), if it got out who she was!

What a twit? Someone has the time for even writing that? Well, how nice of her to be so self-righteous.

Why is it that it's not okay to say ANYTHING politically incorrect about just about everything nowadays, but 'fatist' comments (and movies and jokes and hate propaganda) is allowed in society?


damn, just felt the blood pressure rise.


OH! and a lady at work, yes, she's overweight, was FOLLOWED and HECKLED at a grocery store here! She was too embarrassed to tell the manager. DUDE, I'd have been tossing such a fit (and spouting scientific studies) the guy would have been in a fetal position as they carted him away.

As Valerie's signature says, "There is no sin or moral weakness in being fat, no virtue or superiority in being thin."

[Bat Spit]

OH! and a lady at work, yes, she's overweight, was FOLLOWED and HECKLED at a grocery store here! She was too embarrassed to tell the manager.

My mind absolutely BOGGLES that things like this and that craigslist post actually really happen. I know people wouldn't really make it up, but I can not fathom what makes people so mean spirited and so socially retarded that they think that sort of behavior is acceptable.

I mean, sure I've been moo'ed at by herds of teenage boys, but who hasn't? If there is any social faux pas that a herd of teenage boys won't commit, I must have missed it.

But people who should be adults?

DUDE, I'd have been tossing such a fit (and spouting scientific studies) the guy would have been in a fetal position as they carted him away.

Sobbing for his mommy when I get through with him.
People who say mean things anonymously from the street in passing must be ignored. But people who get up in your face? Should not live to tell the tale.

I think Wifezilla has a point. I was not nearly so fierce and willing to cause a scene in my 20s as I am now at 40.

At this point, I am who I am. If people don't like it, that is not actually my problem and I refuse to let them make it so.

[pennink]

I agree... I'm just about in my 50s and I'm much meaner... :lol:

[Baerdric]

It's the "Gluttony and Sloth" mythology. It allows thin people to view us as having sins which they do not have. Even when they do. I was never so gluttonous as when I could eat anything I wanted without gaining.

[anyway...]

At this point, I am who I am. If people don't like it, that is not actually my problem and I refuse to let them make it so.

"What you think of me is none of my business."

It's a book by Terry Cole-Whittaker. I've never read it, but I heard it recommended on a podcast. The book itself is irrelevant... the line, however, is priceless! (and probably should be tattooed on my forehead :D ) Man, I gotta tell ya, repeating it to yourself just feels so good... doesn't matter what anyone says to or about me... not my problem!

I think it's like... the adult version of "I'm rubber and you're glue..." :lol:

[jschwab]

Please read Slow Fat Triathlete. Jane, the author, is a member of the Silicon Valley Triathlete Club and her accounts of people's incredible helpfulness and kindness while she barely made it through track workouts coached by a former Olympian are really priceless for inspiration. She was pretty fat when she started and she's still fat. But she's from your area and hearing about the nice people who surrounded her might make you feel more positive. Or you could just look at her website www.slowfattriathlete.com.

Janine

[lowcarbUgh]

I think Craig's list is a cesspool. Try meetup.com for activity partners or even plentyoffish.com.

[rightnow]

Followed and heckled by adult(s) in a grocery store? Wow. I guess I'd get to see how much of my martial arts I can still do at 366#. That really is rather unbelievable.

If people harrassed every seriously fat person in my town, the entire town would just be split in half, in harrassers vs. the harrassees. There are a LOT of fat (VERY fat) people in my town, if the grocery stores are any indication.

Oddly, I see more skinny people (really skinny) than I see 'normal' people. I think normal-sized people are damn near nonexistent. It's like everybody eats horribly, so either they stay ridiculously skinny because genetically they're just set that way, or they get ridiculously fat. The few normals I see are usually in the 18-28 range -- so... it's just a matter of time.

But as for that note, you know --

There are a lot of people with pretty serious mental and emotional problems. In our society, the number of them grows exponentially. If it were 1950, they'd be attacking black people. But it's 2008, so they're attacking fat people. In another era, it would be the Irish, or the Italians, or the Jews, or (check one) -- that kind of hatred has nothing to do with the target and everything to do with the person gushing the hate. You will never understand it because you aren't that way. You will never escape it because we live on planet earth. So one may as well accept that some people are just that way.

Keep a positive frame of mind and ignore that crap. You don't need to let them make you into an instant dysfunctional family member, sharing their chronic rage, accepting their projection of their self hatred. They think they are an Army of One, let them be a Dysfunctional Family of One, too. You have your own world... fill it with people who love, and let the insane go to hell in their own handbaskets.

[zombipunk]

Another thing you could try is Sparkpeople www.sparkpeople.com They have some message boards where you can find ppl in your area, so that is something to consider if you're trying to find ppl close to get together with.

Sparkpeople is a fitness/health site as well and everyone there is SUPER supportive, just like here! I am so happy I found this site!

[LessLiz]

Just don't mention Low Carb on Sparkpeople. They are not at all supportive of that -- I hear it makes your kidneys asplode.

[zombipunk]

Just don't mention Low Carb on Sparkpeople. They are not at all supportive of that -- I hear it makes your kidneys asplode.


EEP! haha, Sorry, I didn't know they were like that on there, I saw some teams that do lowcarb so I just assumed. :(

[CandyLee]

A horse can carry 260 pounds, I mean most of them weigh 1200 pounds so that would be a great thing, I have some zumba dvds that I dance to at home, not because I am afraid of shaking my big but in public but I am not in the least bit graceful and that is what embarrasses me. So as soon as I learn to use my feet arms and hips together I am going to join the zumba class at the fittness center. Life is short, don't let others censure you into not living.

[joesfolks]

I'm willing to bet that if you show up, check in hand, no one will tell you that you can't do anything.