Stretch Marks

[LC_Dave]

Hi everyone!

When I first got stretch marks - (funnily enough at 18 years old - even tho I was big all my life) I was pretty shocked and ashamed. To a young man Stretch Marks were things that only pregnant women got!

Now I know it's the reaction that the skin has, from gaining weight quickly.

I have them all over my body now, but since I've started Induction again - they are fading!

I suppose this thread could be about your first reaction to stretch marks?

thoughts??

LC_Dave :daze:

[hjackson]

I was in middle school. There are no words to describe how humiliating I've found stretch marks on my body. Like you said, LC, they're something pregnant women get, and as a middle school girl, it was highly embarrassing, in a time when I was already embarrassed. I've sort of gotten used to them, if a person ever gets used to stretch marks that don't bring the "reward" of a new life. They are to me, evidence that I was weak-willed and out of control. I think I could explain why I eat, why I ate when I was young, but that doesn't really remove my shame over them or the behavior that resulted in them. I mean, sure, I could sit here and make excuses for why I'm overweight, and I'm sure many of them would be valid and honestly medically understood. But, when the rubber meets the road and I look at myself, I have to take responsiblity for the role I, and my actions, have played in reaching this point. I'm just hoping that I'm sorting out the deeper issues enough that they won't be issues now. But I'll never be used to or proud of stretch marks.

[wbahn]

Since I was overweight my entire life until highschool where I got down to a good weight and kept it there for a while, I never had stretch marks until I got out of the service and started putting on weight. They are highly embarrasing (even though the few people that have seen them have never commented on them). But I know they are there and why they are there.

I hope they fade. Even more, I hope I'm not left with tons of lose and flabby skin - I doubt I would ever have cosmetic surgery to remove it. But, if it happens then it happens and it will be both my trophy for a job well done and a constant reminder to never go down that road again.

[LC_Dave]

Hi everyone!
Thanks for replying wbahn & hjackson!

This topic doesn't seem to be too popular. Is it because we are all so ashamed to admit our stretch marks? or is it because it's really not that interesting :P

I know I find it difficult to admit my stretch marks (this is why I started this topic) because you feel they are like a monstrous reminder of something you have done wrong.

That's difficult emotions to deal with.

:wave: LC_Dave

[wbahn]

That would largely be because they ARE a monstrous reminder of something you have done wrong - not to put too fine a point on it. :D

Unless the topic is about what to do about them, there isn't really much purpose in discussing them. They are what they are - we can't change that. Side bars like this one are fine and useful, but other than that what's the point? If it's in the context of, "Hey, kid, wanna look like this?" then that's useful. But I don't have to show my stretch marks for THAT warning to be effective! :D

[DWRolfe]

OK, I'll jump in on this one...

...and I KNOW I'm gonna catch hell for this suggestion, but I found that when I spent a little time at the electric beach (tanning beds) my marks were considerably less noticable and I was much less self conscience at the beach.

From having lost weight on several occassions (once more than 100 pounds the hard way...starving) I can say that with time the marks fade. They never go away, but if you lose weight and maintain the loss, they will fade down.

They're battle scars, plain and simple. We have to take responsibility for them and own them, accept them, and love ourselves even more because of them.

Donald


:wave:

[wbahn]

Take responsibility for them? Yes.
Accept them? Yes.
Own them? Like I've got a choice?

But love myself even more because of them? :lol: :lol: :lol: You're funny. :D

... in spite of them? OK, but that's probably the best I'll manage.

As for the tanning. Probably a good general suggestion, but not an option for me. I burn and peel. I will literally start turning red in five minutes and after an hour will start blistering. Thank God for SPF 80!

My bigger concern is the potential for baggy skin hanging everywhere. Did you notice any of that when you lost more than 100 before?

[lesleyc]

Here here!! :clap:

Well said Donald...wear 'em with pride :thup:

Lesley

P.S BTW it's not only the triple digits club who have these special trade marks ;)

[DWRolfe]

I figure I have to love myself more because of my marks...

...feeling bad about myself and not loving myself is what sent me to rock bottom and caused me to seek the temporary comfort of food.

As for sagging skin...when I lost weight before, I was so much younger than I am now. I had no trouble with sagging skin and my marks really lessened with time. This time I suspect I will have some sagging skin, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. No idea just how bad it will be.

Donald :daze:

[LC_Dave]

We have all gained weight rapidly and thats why we have the stretch marks.
But is it our fault? or just our responsibility to change?

This next statement is probably and emotional charged issue, but

What if, our weight problem is not our fault?

Dr Atkins doesn't think so. He says it's a metabolic problem our bodies have.

I didn't choose to be this big. I have not done anything so heinous that the mystical forces are now punishing me.

My body is reacting to the normal diet my skinny friends have also been fed.

As a result of my weight I have a greater caloric need - yet I eat the same or less than my skinny friends. Because of my weight I have limited mobility and can burn less energy.

MY point - which is only my opinion is:

Stress Marks are a reminder of our suffering, not our monstrous deeds.

LC_Dave ;)

[wbahn]

Hidden in this thread is a way of life that goes way beyond the issue of weight.

Everyone knows the oft quoted Prayer:

Lord grant me the courage to change that which I can, the serenity to accept that which I cannot, and the weaponry to make the difference.

(OK, maybe it's paraphrased a wee bit)

We all know it. We can all say it (even the correct version). But we seldom even try to live it - especially the serenity part.

One lesson that my time in the military taught me well was the value of serenity. I used to be very high strung - especially about the stuff that I didn't like or thought was wrong but that I couldn't change. But I was so innundated with that environment in the service that I HAD to learn to recognize those things about which I could do nothing - or about which I decided that it wasn't worth the effort to do anything even if I thought I could - and then truly accept them. I didn't have to enjoy them or encourage them or support them or promote them - but I do have to be able to accept them.

I think it's one of the reasons why I can count the number of times that I could say that I was stressed out at work on the fingers of my hands. It's also why my blood pressure and cholesterol have always been acceptable even at my weight and poor eating habits in the past.

I got to do some really neat things in the service. I learned a lot and I got to serve my country. I also had to do and see things that I hope to never do or see again. But even if my life had been a pure hell hole (which is was not) it would have been worth every minute of it just to truly embrace that one lesson.

[LC_Dave]

wbhan - you are a very deep and wise individual.

I guess it doesn't matter the reasons for them, it's the acceptance thats the hard part.

I once thought that if I could get the shape of my belly down, my life would improve, but now that my skin is scarred - I'll never really be able to pretend that I am a naturally thin person.

It's more - I can only hope to improve my health - which s really the most important thing anyways :)

LC_Dave :)

[wbahn]

It's not the deeds that are monstrous - it's the reminders that are. :D

And we (most of us and most definitely myself) DID do something wrong. That we did the best we could (which I didn't), that we adhered to the "best" nutritional advice available (which I didn't) doesn't change that we did not treat our bodies properly.

I'm 37 years old. Dr. A's first book is nearly as old as I am. The information has always been there for the taking. I got my weight under control in my late teens and did very well. And then let all that get away from me. I could have prevented it. The fact that I tried to prevent it using the wrong methods IS my fault. No one force fed me.

Some - many - of the things I did wrong I knew I was doing wrong at the time. The fact that the things I thought I was doing right were also wrong is a sad fact of reality. But they were wrong none-the-less and I'm the one that did them none-the-less.

I does me absolutely no good to pretend that I did nothing wrong - that I was somehow an innocent victim suffering from society's misdeeds. Instead, I have to learn WHY I did all the things wrong and work on changing that. Some of the things I did wrong because of not recognizing the emotional stress that changes in my life were placing me under - and I paid a DEAR price for that. So I've learned to be much more introspective and understand my emotions and motivations and control my responses where appropriate - and I've gotten pretty good at it. Some of the things I did wrong because of being misinformed. So I've identified those as best I can and set out to better education myself. Some things I did wrong because of basic laziness of various types. So I have tried, with moderate success, to deal with those head to head. Some of the things I did wrong because I was trying to change things that were beyond my ability to change. So I've learned to recognize those and accept them or at least see if the desired outcome can be met another way. And if it can't, then I just have to accept that it can't.

[OKwoer]

I once thought that if I could get the shape of my belly down, my life would improve, but now that my skin is scarred - I'll never really be able to pretend that I am a naturally thin person.

Dave,
There's not doubt that your life will improve in so many ways by getting your weight down. I think about them constantly. And if you need help, the thread on here about sunshine moments is great inspiration.

As for the part about pretending you are a naturally thin person, why would you want that? You are a unique individual and everything you have experienced and will experience is a part of who you are. I think Donald is right that you really have to get to a point where you love yourself as you are as well as who you will be. Now understand, I'm saying this as a person who needs to listen to my own words, but why would I want to pretend I'm a naturally thin person. When I reach my goal, I will have truly accomplished something to get there. All the naturally thin person did was to be born with thin genes.

Let me tell you something about my stretch marks. They have become all but invisible. I've been at the same weight for many years, and the marks have changed to my natural skin color.

Try to concentrate on all the sunshine moments to come. Nature will help heal and hide those scars.
God Bless,

[Victoria]

LC Dave,
I agree with all these great guys. I for one started getting stretch marks as a little girl. It took me months to get the courage up to ask my Mom what they were. But the biggest ones I have were from my pregnancies. I have scars that are an inch wide. So nothing will change that. They have faded, but I never will be wearing anything showing my abdomen. I accept that...and would be modest anyway...even if I had no scars.

I think that we should focus on being healthy. And scars are not a health risk. Being overweight is. The scars are just evidence of skin stretching...that's all. I've seen skinny people with stretch marks. So you don't have to be obese to have them. I don't like them, but I accept them. I had a nurse tell me it was mainly because of my nationality...if I wasn't so dang white I wouldn't have such terrible scars. What can I say? My mexican sister in law has hardly any stretch marks and is 6 years older than me and looks way younger. It's her skin. So as Bill says, we accept what we cannot change. When I was younger, it bothered me way more. Now it's not a big issue. I think I'm bothered more by my gray hair. :rolleyes: Maybe acceptance comes with age. ;) Not that I'm terribly old...but I think I'm old enough to have learned to accept myself. :p Victoria

[LC_Dave]

Suddenly I hate Britney Spears - with all her bare midrift stuff she wears!

[Elora Jade]

Think outside the box people!! :dazzle:

If youre wearing revealing clothing cause youre skinny enough to to do so (and showing those stretch marks) then you have won the war! Wear them with pride!

They are badges of honor, a war you fought and won! And if anyone asks you can come up with some really heroic story about your battling a beast and coming out the victor, being horribly mangled in the process - (if someone is ignorant enough to ask about them, they deserve a little fiction.)

To be brutally honest, its not like people dont look at us with judgement anyway. I still remember going to 7-11 (years ago) and buying a lotto ticket (I have a dream!) and a chocolate bar - I got a look that said"What do you think youre doing eating this??" So I really dont see a difference between the stretch marks, and being overweight!

Note: A girlfriend of mine, who after her pregnancy was horrified over her stretch marks bought the body shop "coca butter" skin moisturizer, which worked for her in getting rid of them (and tanning, she was a regular tanner so it may have been a combination of the two)

[Victoria]

I like your attitude Elora Jade! I tried all the remedies I've heard of...vitamin E, different kinds of lotion and such. But nothing really worked. The tanning would help some I think, but not with the really BIG stripes. It's just a fact of life. Now if I can get it all toned up...I wouldn't even mind the "battle scars". Dave, I think I succeeded in making you realize it could be worse. ;) Victoria

[wbahn]

Frankly, if I had been the 7-11 clerk I would have given you the same look. Except it would have been for buying the tickets! :D

My parents by lotto tickets for just about every drawing (we have two a week here). They are sensible - it's a dollar or two a throw and they have decided that the entertainment value is worth the cost. I have no problem with that. But I still give them a hard time. My Dad once pointed out that his odds of winning were just as good as the guy that won and I promptly agreed and pointed out that my odds of winning were only marginally less. :D

I look at it this way - would anyone in their right mind ever pick the numbers 1-2-3-4-5-6 thinking they would actually ever come up? Yet the odds of that combination coming up are identical to the the odds of whatever set of numbers I might actually choose. Sorta takes the fun out of it for me.

[fleadogs]

Yeah, okay I got them...

the first ones appeared ..ahem... on my breasts when I was just say 14. I am very top heavy and at the time was competitive swimming so I was quite slim but got them anyway. They are disfiguring, heavily grooved and deep. The next, around the sides of my hips were in college after gaining a some weight, but they faded and it just wasn't that big of deal. The last came on with pregnancy and are all over the lower part of my stomach. I know they're not going to go away, and at best will fade, but luckily I don't make my living showing off my abs (I'd be out of work :p ) and when I envision what I'd like to look like, it's with clothes on! The hanging skin part is much more of a concern. After the baby, I've never had skin that droops like this. WHEN (not it :D ) I get my weight off if the skin doesn't come back to the point where I can't hold a pencil under my stomach, I will consider surgery. I really, REALLY detest the thought of doing all this effort to be slim only to have to wear baggy clothes because my stomach is draped over my thighs. Started exercising and have a request in for BFL at the library trying to tighten and tone as I go. I'm doing all I can and we'll see when we get there.

As for the disfiguring part of stretch marks, I agree with Victoria, as I get older I worry less, but not completely ;) about things like that. Good health has become more of a priority. When I was younger, I would have smoked a pack a day if I though it would keep the weight off. (My Daddy the professor said that nicotine has a mild appetite stimulative effect) so that was out! Now even if smoking would keep all my weight off, I wouldn't choose that route for health reasons. I have wonderful family friends and want as many healthy years here with them as possible

[Lessara]

I loved reading these posts, and I had wondered what guys think?? :p
I guess I should be thankful. I haven't noticed my stretch marks at all... until today. (Yep, went into the ladies room, turn toward the full length mirror, and lifted the shirt.) Eep!
Its funny, you don't notice them till someone points it out.
Makes you think doesn't it? ;)

[Dina]

LC Dave,
I agree with you. I have 3 children . My oldest is not my birth son and is a huge carb eater. He is 6 ' 4" and very thin. My younger 2 have my genes and metabolize food the same way I do. They never have been able to eat the amount or type of food as my oldest. Yet both have a weight problem. My youngest will always say "It's not fair. All my friends can eat junk and stay thin" I try to tell her that some children have diabetes and can only eat certain things and even have to give themselves needles. For us this is like a disease that we can control by eating certain foods and be healthy and happy. Ps. I don't know if it will help but I'm going to try rubbing pure coco butter on my strecth marks.