How do you undo a year's worth of damage?

[tammay]

Hope I'm posting this in the right place.

I'm actually not talking about physical damage (i.e., weight gain), though that's part of it. I'm talking about attitude towards lowcarbing.

I've done lowcarbing before for weight loss and loved it, not just because I lost 30 pounds but also because it helped me get 20 years worth of binge eating under control. Of all the eating plans I've done (most for weight loss, some for just health), this has been the only one that has allowed me to get out of that unhealthy cycle of binging every (week, month, etc.) and then feeling guilty and going on a "diet" to try and "correct" the issue. It's helped me feel physically energetic and focused so that I could start to read some books about emotional eating and try to understand what's going on behind the binges.

However, in the past year, I've tried to find the path to healthy eating and living and in my quest, became a vegetarian and then tried to be a vegan. I read a lot of material on veganism, then on raw foodism (basically, eating only raw fruits, veggies, nuts, seeds, and soaked beans and grains). As you might expect, the vegan material is not so enthusiastic about the lowcarb way of life (though I didn't find any more hostility in the things I read than in other non-vegan healthy sources). I read so much that I got to believing that eating animal products (i.e., dairy) was as evil as eating animal flesh, that the whole panic of protein has been overrated, that we really don't need that much protein, not even what the government recommends as a minimum (50 gr a day for women, I think), that fruits and grains were the key to a healthy diet. Many of these sources at least agreed with lowcarb enthusiasts on one thing - fat is not the enemy, not even the good saturated fats like coconut oil.

Anyway, I went through a year of hell emotionally, lots of stress, and that coupled with my obsession with becoming a vegan (and later a raw foodist) brought me back to my old habit of binging/restricting. Add to that the last six weeks of dealing with my parents (wonderful people, but very manipulative and inflexible), moving from South Dakota to Texas (in order to get out of the crappy situation I've been in the last year), and shifting gears in grad school (going from a PhD in English to an MA in History) have taken a major toll on my health and diet. I got back to eating dairy while my parents were here because we ate out so much, but I didn't eat healthy at all - lots of "white" stuff, lots of junk food. So the past week I've been researching possible eating plans for me for the summer in an attempt to try and turn my health and attitude around. I've rejected the idea that dairy is evil and looked at standard veganism, raw foodism, lowcarbing. And I got to the conclusion that lowcarbing (vegetarian way) is really the right plan for me.

So I'm now 2 days into it and in practice I love it. I love the food, I love the energy, I love the fact that my cravings are diminishing (though not gone completely yet).

However...

I'm still waking up in the middle of the night, making calculations, reading different things that are pointing to the idea of fruits being good, grains being good, veganism being the superior diet, etc. And I keep rethinking my menu, thinking maybe I'll do fruit, maybe veganism, etc. That puts me down on lowcarbing.

I don't understand it - I KNOW this is the best plan for me from all angles. I've done it once before, I know that fruits/grains are not necessary for a healthy diet, and, ironically, before my family visited, I never ate that many of them anyway! I accept that lowcarbing is good for me in practice but I'm having a lot of trouble quieting the critics in my head.

I'm not sure if I explained myself right. I'm reading the Protein Power book very carefully to try and understand the science behind it again, I'm trying to do my research to let the scientific end of it help in changing my attitude, but so far it isn't enough.

I just wanted to get that out.

Tam

[Kristine]

Hi and welcome back. :wave:

Repeat after me: I am a cavewoman! Hear me roar!

Okay, seriously... :) It sounds like you're more in a spiritual crisis than just trying to decide on what food would logically be best for you. Logically, you can look at your past experience and there's no question how you should eat. It sounds like you're struggling with the other stuff.

I can't quite relate because I'm at spiritual peace with the way I eat. I don't want this to turn into an animal cruelty debate. Suffice to say, we have to come to our own conclusions about the cruelty thing. Factory farmed products are not your only option.

Bottom line for me: soy, grains and fruit that has been selectively-bred to be ridiculously sweet is not what God/nature made for me to eat. And the fact that I was raised on a poor diet has left me pre-diabetic and a junk food addict: that's not my fault, but it's a problem that has to be dealt with. It leaves me with fewer options than Joe Vegan who never had a weight problem or food addiction problem.

I'll end with a link to an interesting post by Dr Eades: grain and fruit didn't serve Queen Hatshepsut (http://www.proteinpower.com/drmike/?p=782) too well. :)

(ETA) beyondveg.com (http://www.beyondveg.com) is a good read. :idea:

[Muata]

Tam, I can relate because I went through my bouts with vegetarianism, macrobiotics, etc. when I was in grad school too, which is stressful enough by itself! Since you are obviously a reader and thinker, cycle your diets and chart your progress. I agree 100% with Kristine as to our diet as a species, but the great thing is that we can conduct little experiments to see for ourselves. I don't follow my WOE because I read it in a book or because others have said this is the way we should eat. I took over 4 years to be where I am now, and it's because I was tired of all the conflicting information over which diet is the healthiest, so I experimented with many of them.


Why don't you give yourself 2-3 months of doing LC; chart your progress with a journal or the great tools they have here (remember that feelings and emotional health are important as actual weight loss and body measurements). Then, give yourself time to switch back to eating mainly a vegetarian/vegan diet for a similar amount of time. Sometimes seeing the results and charting them is the only way to truly silence that doubting voice inside of us. You have to experiment, in addition to reading, because this way you get to know your body! BTW, what are you getting your PhD in?

[cs_carver]

Seems to me that you're letting your head tell your cells what they need or should want.

Been my experience that my cells will win that battle every time, and they have weapons at their disposal that are MUCH uglier than anything my mind could devise.

Put the theory on the shelf, if you can. Test. Observe the outcome--hair and nail growth, skin glow, good feeling, energy, menstrual patterns. Adapt as necessary to support what you decide you can tolerate spiritually.

Could be that your biggest problem is being 20 years too young for the affordable kind of testing that would be able to determine reliably, for you, with your genetic background and risks and exposures and everything, what's the "best" WOE. Until then, we can only stagger about through the food plan aisle at the library and see what works.

I had to leave "theory" behind. I get acne on a vegetarian diet, the way I eat it. Temple Grandin says outright she feels better on meat. Some bodies may not have the innards to handle one WOE or another. Today, we can't tell. Probably soon enough, but not this year, there will be tests at the mall you can spit on and they'll tell you, like the blood type diets try to say today.

Until then, I have to trust my empiracle theory, and also accept that I have to live in some part of THIS world, with its restaurants, grocery availability, etc. I guess I could move to an ashram, but that's not in the cards for me today (and I wouldn't advise betting on it--better odds with the state lottery).

Good luck.

[cartersg1]

Tam, hang in there with it. Everyone is not the same; not even LC! Our bodies are designed for specific tolerances and when we exceed them, we pay. I've had undiagnosed food allergies for years and many were only caught in the past few years because I finally became very, very sick. When I think back on the last 20 years, I went through periods where wheat made me sick and I couldn't tolerate citrus fruit and sugars. Now I cannot have them at all AND I did attempt the vegetarian thing. It was worse for my body. When I'm able to right the ship, I feel so much better and my whole attitude changes! Right now, I'm struggling through a low period where I had to add more carbs back into my system than I wanted to - it results in a weight gain although it's also some muscle mass. I spent the summer as an archaeologist, doing field work, and I couldn't pack enough protein in a safe way (think heat or rain, depending on location) to keep me going through the day. So I have to get back on the LC life - that means dropping portions again slowly, allowing my body to adjust, and dropping the weight again.

Just take it one day at a time - nice cliche but it works. And definitely, as has been suggested, JOURNAL!! Either journal here or keep a journal - at the very least keep a food diary even if you're not into tracking the emotional part of your journey. Write down foods, portions and hunger issues. Write out a shopping list and STAY WITH IT! I do all my meal planning with my cookbooks at a time when I'm not hungry - make better choices - but also allow for a little food fun. If you have a 50 carb day, okay - just adjust the next day. But one book won't bring you love, happiness, financial security or anything else - we've become a culture of cure. In other words, we seek solace in a book that will render us acceptable. It doesn't work that way. Changes take time - it has taken 5 years (lots of cookbooks, cooking school and common sense) but I'm finally comfortable with my food issues and choices.

I'm the family cook and my buying decisions influence my daughter - it's an awesome responsibility but I've finally gotten my DH out of the idea that cookies mean love. Cookies once in a while are good - sometimes, we need some food that is not so good for the body but great for the soul. The problem with all the books and many of the experts is that they ignore the soul and treat only the body. Who cares what you look like if you're miserable inside?? One of DH's fav comfort foods is country fried steak - well, I learned how to make it with a dusting of my DF flour mix rather than the drowning of white flour and it tastes even better now!! And yes, when I make it, I will indulge in some mashed potatoes. I make MAYBE once a month or so. I know it's coming, I plan the carbs for the day and have fun!! My daughter tries new foods and prefer veggie and fruit snacks over the processed stuff. She goes to kindergarten this year and we will do that same thing that my mom and I did - get lunches for the week. I don't like the school lunches. But she eats "Mommy food" including my sugar-free desserts, when I make them. It really makes you think when you have to cook for your family - what do I want my daughter to value?

Don't beat yourself up. Just put time aside each day to consider your food choices if you must then STOP. It may help - that's when you can journal. Give the frig a good cleaning, go through the pantry - think about some food choices that will work for you. Don't worry about the book, the experts, the nutrition guides. Just work out what works for you first, get a comfortable place and it will be fine.

[Muata]

Excellent posts ladies! :thup:

[+35-65]

It sounds like you might not want to be so strict in adhereing to a plan that someone else has designed and rather apply the principles you have learned and come up with a plan for you that suits your life, your ideals and your body.

I don't follow Atkins or South Beach or any of the "official" low carb diets, though I have read all of the books more than once. I have also read hundreds of books on health, nutrition and food sciences. Based on all of the information and knowing how my body reacts to different foods, I have been able to come up with a plan that works very well for me. And I am constantly adapting it. I started out just cutting refined carbs. No white sugar, white flours, etc. I also eliminated most processed foods. I still ate plenty of fruits, veggies and whole grains, but found that they did not trigger the binge eating and weight problems. So, while I do try to be very conscious of my carbs and keep them lower than the Food Pyramid would recommend, the right carbs still have a place in my diet. From there I added more guidelines, one at a time: no more artificial sweeteners, add more healthy fats, eat only grass-fed "pastured" animal products, organic fruits and veggies, etc. I also do a 48 hour fast twice a month.

So, what I'm getting at in my long and rambling post is that you don't have to fight yourself to fit into "someone else's diet". Come up with your own "rules" that work for you.