Can lazy and unmotivated be cured?

[AmaniNura]

When I was in first grade, my teacher sent home a note on my report card that said.. "Samantha is lazy and unmotivated. I hope she outgrows this". Hmmm. For years I would have considered myself anything but lazy, but now... at 330+ pounds I can certainly say I am not in a big hurry to jump up and sort piles of laundry, walk the dog, get on the exercise bike or have sex. I still don't want to believe I am lazy. Unmotivated? The jury is still out, but it's not looking good. I bought a book from Franklin Covey called.. 100 ways to motivate yourself.... I wasn't even motivated to read it. How depressing is that?

My husband is 130 pounds soaking wet and as of late the lack of attraction to me is becoming painfully evident. i am sure my lack of interest in things couple-ish hasnt helped, but he doesn't hug me or kiss me goodbye unless I initiate it. If there was one thing I always felt good about in times past regardless of my size, it was that he was always attracted to me no matter my weight. At this weight.. my heaviest ever, it is apparently having an impact. He is healthy. Works for a tree trimming service and has energy, bright clear eyes, and women hit on him alot. I don't want to lose my husband to another woman. Why isnt the fear of that motivation enough to do what I need to do to lose all this weight?

Do I really have an addiction to food? Am I medicating with food? Do I eat for something to do? Sometimes, usually right after I have consumed something sweet and full of fat, I feel sick and think, "That was sooooooo not worth it". Always after the fact. Sometimes I eat not even thinking that I ate just an hour or so before. It just sounds good.

I am sure that most of you in this forum have some issues with food too, but I have NO idea where to go to find out why I do what I do and if I did, I have NO idea how to change things including my crappy attitude.

Any suggestions or links would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for giving me a place to vent.

[Samantha22]

YOu know, it's funny...my name is samantha and when i started reading this i thought....wow...i'm not the only one :) You are not alone. You are beautiful..i just looked at your pictures...and you certianly do not look 300 pounds. I understand that uneasy feeling of having a spouse who is much smaller than myself...god only knows what is going on inside our minds that allows that factor to not be motivation enough. But, remember that weight can be changed....our physical appearance isn't permanent...that's the beauty of it all...you are here...making changes...and as you stick with them and time goes by, you will see changes in that motivation and you'll feel better physically and emotionally which will make a huge impact on his attraction to you. Lets face it, we aren't attracted to unhappy unmotivated individuals...so maybe it's less a physical thing and more a "mood" thing. Anywho, best of luck to you..you can do this!

[c_cat]

OK - you asked. Here's my opinion. You need to stop waiting for motivation. The food you are eating and the lack of exercise/movement in your life is just sustaining a cycle.

You need to say "even though I don't feel like it - I'm going to do X". For me, the hardest thing to do is to workout, and the easiest thing to do was to start with "well, it'll never work and I'll quit before I should, and I have no energy or motivation - BUT - I'm going to try Atkins for 2 weeks and stick with it no matter what. I will not guilt trip myself for continuing to sit on the couch. i will simply feel proud that I am eating steak and burgers and pork rinds."

Once I start losing weight (the argument you're having with yourself I had before I started this way of eating April 6th this year, and every time I slow down) - THEN I want to workout. THEN I want to do everything I can to maximize weightloss. THEN I FEEL MOTIVATED!!

Isn't that crazy? But there is some research that we look to our own actions to judge how we feel - "hmm, I'm not working out so I must feel tired and lazy." Workers forced to smile for their jobs get out of bad moods faster.

Commit to something for a period of time that will make a difference. And then recommit and then up the ante.

But for now? Pick just one thing (I'd suggest food) and stick with it. Atkins was always easy for me - cause my first meal on any commit/recommit was having a burger for breakfast with bacon and mayo - as much as I want.

Worry about your motivations and everyone else's AFTER you start feeling better.

Sarah

[potatofree]

I need to find the lost and found, to check and see if anyone turned in my motivation, too.

[ppuffy3859]

Hey Amani,

I totally agree with what Samantha said, and I can relate to exactly what you're saying. Call me old-fashioned, but I believe that when we take the vows of marriage, we love our spouses-no matter what. I hold on to this belief and I'm sure your dh loves you very much. My dh acts like a turd sometimes, and sometimes I think it's a lack of attraction to me, but if that's the case, he needs to deal with it. We carry their children (and Lord knows the toll that takes on our bodies!), we take care of them, they need to accept us as we are. Now, with regard to our own motivation to change, you've already lost over 30 pounds, and that is awesome! I'm sometimes my own worst enemy, the closer I get to my goal I want to sabotage it, like sometimes I'm afraid to be thin and attractive, and then I mentally slap myself and tell myself to get over it. You've got beautiful kids, and they are reason enough to keep on keeping on. That and you've got a great life ahead, and you deserve to be whatever you want to be. Have you considered checking out some motivational CD's? I have some by a guy named Dr. Sklare, and I listen to them at night before I go to sleep. He does guided imagery, and also talks about the psychology behind weight loss and how we sabotage ourselves sometimes. I really like them. Hope that helps, and keep going! You can do it! :wave:

[Samantha22]

Hey Amani,

I totally agree with what Samantha said, and I can relate to exactly what you're saying. Call me old-fashioned, but I believe that when we take the vows of marriage, we love our spouses-no matter what. I hold on to this belief and I'm sure your dh loves you very much. My dh acts like a turd sometimes, and sometimes I think it's a lack of attraction to me, but if that's the case, he needs to deal with it. We carry their children (and Lord knows the toll that takes on our bodies!), we take care of them, they need to accept us as we are. Now, with regard to our own motivation to change, you've already lost over 30 pounds, and that is awesome! I'm sometimes my own worst enemy, the closer I get to my goal I want to sabotage it, like sometimes I'm afraid to be thin and attractive, and then I mentally slap myself and tell myself to get over it. You've got beautiful kids, and they are reason enough to keep on keeping on. That and you've got a great life ahead, and you deserve to be whatever you want to be. Have you considered checking out some motivational CD's? I have some by a guy named Dr. Sklare, and I listen to them at night before I go to sleep. He does guided imagery, and also talks about the psychology behind weight loss and how we sabotage ourselves sometimes. I really like them. Hope that helps, and keep going! You can do it! :wave:

It's so ironic...because i'm the kind of person who does this:
YES! My scale is at it's all time low today, now i'll have onion rings for lunch...since i'm losing, one bad lunch won't hurt me. What the hell am i thinking? You'd think after 2 and a half years of being on atkins i'd get the freakin point...but nope...lol.

[katwoman]

First, congrats on your loss so far. You can do this, you can reach goal, and you can feel great about yourself.

I have to agree with c cat, just do it and don't wait to feel motivated. It's a matter of making a choice--LC is the way I eat and the way I live, and any other choice for me is slow suicide. I learned that by falling off the LC bandwagon and regaining almost all I'd lost before. This time it's for life.

So, you make a decision that this isn't a diet, it's a way of life and the only choice if you want to live your life to the fullest--enjoy your husband, you children--and grandchildren in the future. I took a peek in your gallery, and you've got a lot of people in your life to enjoy.

Start with the eating plan. Once that has become a habit, then start with the exercise. Believe it or not--success becomes it's own motivating factor.

BTW, as a teacher--that first grade teacher was totally wrong to label you with words like that.

[AmaniNura]

I know the Atkins WOE works, I have lost weight this way before. Hundreds of pounds. (up and down) I just decided (key word) to blow it by eating enormous amounts of food for stupid reasons for a long period of pitty me time after a bad personal period in my life and could not put the brakes on. I am now looking down that road traveled a couple times before, and not looking forward to that long journey again. I remember being on the treadmill and telling myself. I will never get this fat again. I hate sweating and feeling gritty and the blood pulsing in my ears as I struggled to get through 30 minutes of walking that felt like hours.

The issue now is not whether I can do it or not again, its how can I change whatever it is about my way of thinking that will keep me from repeating this cycle for the rest of my life. The journey so far has been like this. 120 up to 185 then up to 210 then down to 175lbs then up to 220. Then up to 260, then down to 210, then up to 320, then down to 230 then up to 265 and finally up to 360. This last one was a killer. I need to find some physical activity that I do not loathe. I need to find something not based on other people to motivate me to keep going.

I am going to be a grandma for the first time in a week or two and my youngest son is a very active teenager who I would love to walk out on the field with in the fall soccer season and not have him be embarrassed on parents night. I would love to lay down on the bed and not have my breasts fall under my arms. I would love to roll over without having to rock back and forth for momentum. I want to put a seat belt on without struggling. I want to reach all those parts of my anatomy that really need extra attention in the shower. I need to be able to put my shoes on without veins in my head bulging or calling for back up. Getting my leg within reach to tie my shoes is a struggle.

There are no other people I come in contact with in a day who have issues finding a towel big enough to wrap around their butt. I work in the media with women who run, or who play tennis or who are just naturally thin and gorgeous! This personal struggle is just that a very personal struggle. If asking a question and getting an answer about the steps necessary to get it done was all that was required, we would all be thin. Somewhere between that knowledge and action there is an intermittent short circuit that needs diagnosed and repaired. I guess thats where I am at the moment. In the meantime, visiting this forum and being honest about my feelings is as good as it will get. I keep my fitday journal linked in my signature. I will try hard to keep that updated nightly and post at least three times a day. Morning, lunchtime and before bed.

I appreciate each and every one of you :) It will be nice to see your smiling fonts as I travel this road again.

[MorganMac]

Prepare for a dose of "Morgan-ian psychology" as my husband calls it, lol.

I need to find something not based on other people to motivate me to keep going.

The secret is that everything you need to motivate yourself and accomplish your goals is inside of you already. Make the decision to do it, not to play around with it, or to try it.. but to REALLY do it once and for all.

I'll even give you a present - the gift is the POWER of control. You have been gifted with the power to control every choice you make, especially when it comes to food. Only you decide what goes into your mouth. No one else can control this but you. You are the C.E.O., the company president, the sole shareholder! Now show the world what you can do with that power. :)

[rightnow]

You know, a lot of the 'emotional' energy for 'gumption' is found in the 'physical' energy that comes from eating well, eating regularly, sleeping enough, and taking supplements so you're not deficient in stuff that can really wipe out your energy level.

A lot of lack of motivation is attributed to depression. But in my opinion, a lot of what is considered depression, can be attributed to exhaustion. We all sound pretty damn depressive when we are exhausted.

If you're eating lowcarb, and it's working ok, but you are still feeling this way, maybe you should consider a diet elimination process to see if maybe something you are eating is sparking some of that from hidden sensitivities.

I suspect your husband is primarily responding to your lack of interest in life, which is sure to include him. He can't save you. You have to do it yourself.

You deserve good things. Hope you can get around to giving them to yourself.

[kyrasdad]

Okay amatuer analysis here. But here goes...

(1) You sound a lot like me. I am basically easygoing and unmotivated. External influences rarely get to me. I am a hard worker who likes processes and likes to sink his teeth into something. I like to do work but hate to hustle. And there is a very big difference.

(2) Motivation, a-ha moments and the like are overrated. At least to me.

With that in mind, and quite accidentally, I went toward aspects of weight loss. It works for me because it isn't dependent on me being motivated or intense. It's casual and laid back and works with my personality and not against it.

Look, the thing about LC is that if you get low carb enough, you need less and less willpower. It kind of drains the desire out of you for sugars and grains. And then (for me) losing weight created its own momentum. I dislike regain more than anything in the world, so I'm paranoid not to do that.

If you can't get motivated, though, don't fight it. It's not in you to overcome it via motivation. It's something else. Find out what that is, and go for it.

[Judynyc]

The issue now is not whether I can do it or not again, its how can I change whatever it is about my way of thinking that will keep me from repeating this cycle for the rest of my life. The journey so far has been like this. 120 up to 185 then up to 210 then down to 175lbs then up to 220. Then up to 260, then down to 210, then up to 320, then down to 230 then up to 265 and finally up to 360. This last one was a killer. I need to find some physical activity that I do not loathe. I need to find something not based on other people to motivate me to keep going.

ya know...I could have written this paragraph about myself.....up, down, up higher than beforee, down again, up higher, down.......ugh...what a horror!!

I hear you in a big way!! :agree: I'm sorry that you feel so down ...at this time.....but just coming here and letting it out is a great first step...coming here daily is what kept me going. I hardly posted at all at first, just kept logging my food each day and reading other's stories as it they kept me going.

As for exercising.....don't push yourself for now and when you get your weight down soem more, you'll start to feel a little better and you'll be able to go for a walk. You do not have to do it all now!! Just do the food for now and the exercise will come when you are feeling better.

I know that its not for everybody but I got a lot of value from OA meetings. I found that they really helpd me to understand the compulsive nature of my overeating. It was also good for connecting with others that could relate to me and I to them. I also spent time with a good therapist to get to the root of my overeating.

So keep coming back here even if you don't post, just read...read the success stories, look at the gallery.....by the way, your very pretty!! :agree:

This forum has become my daily meeting. It helps me to stay in touch with what I've done for myself.

I too, was overcome with depression with my situation, but once I made up my mind that I was going to tackle it, one last time, I just kept my head down and plowed on through. One day at a time..... :)

[AmaniNura]

Hmmm... its 10:37pm and I am getting tired. A long day is finally over and i am ready to call it a night.

Thanks for all the wonderful posts and nice comments. I will continue to try. My son sitting next to me is threatening to staple me in my sleep is the major motivation to get healthy. How many mothers find the best motivation in a child that is threatening to staple them. :) He is now singing. I've got friends in low places. It's definitely time to go to bed before he starts dancing.

[Cathy B.]

You might want to have a look at a book, "The Sugar Addict's Recovery Program". It explains all about the biochemical reasons we have cravings, and often fail on diets. It explains that the reason we fail is not because we are weak willed or unmotivated. It has to do with your blood sugar and insulin levels, as well as your neurotransmitters, such as serotonin, and beta endorphin.

While I do not think the above mentioned book is very good for weight loss (too many carbs), I think it does a great job of PREPARING you to lose weight. It recommends starting in stages. The first step is to always eat breakfast and to make sure you have protein. You can have some carbs too, but the protein is a must. The protein requirement is based on your weight. This will keep your blood sugar from crashing after you get up. If the b.s. drops, you will have cravings later in the day.

There are other steps too, including eliminating "white things" (flour, bread) and switching to brown, and eventually eliminating sugar. Once you stabilize your blood sugar and neurotransmitters, you will feel a WHOLE lot more motivated to really throw yourself into whatever weightloss program you choose.

We all have to experiment to find out which program works best for our bodies. (Atkins, Fat Flush, South Beach, The Zone, The Formula, Rosedale.) And even once you find "the one", you still have to experiment some more. I have discovered that if I have been eating according to plan and then go a little overboard at one meal a week, no big deal. But if I do that 2 or 3 meals in succession, I will start getting cravings, give in to the cravings, and it can throw things off for WEEKS, if not MONTHS.

You can do this.

Good luck!

Cathy

[cherryred]

Exercise really helps with depression, if you suspect this might be why you are unmotivated. Just do a little, something..anything, just for today. You aren't going to lose 100 pds today but you can take tiny steps and be on your way. Never look at it like this huge amount of weight you need to lose. Just stay on plan, today...exercise...today. Those days add up and before you know it you will lose that weight. At my highest weight, 323, I could have never guessed I could lose this much weight. I don't even remember that girl now.
Can you do this? YES you can. Don't give up and celebrate every pound that comes off.

[AmaniNura]

I will look into the book. I do seriously think sugar is a drug for me. Just like booze. The first couple times you drink you feel relaxed and smile alot even feel happy and uninhibited, but as time goes on, I think your chemistry changes and you become sad and paranoid. You keep drinking (eating) just knowing that if you drink one more drink you will get back that good feeling you had before. For me its the comfort of chocolate and satisfaction immediately after having consumed it. Perhaps its the process of chewing. I don't know.. I just know that when I need a fix, it can get bad.

I have completed a tiny bit of work this morning. I started this post at 9:00am. and its almost 11:30! I am better focused today. I have steered clear of sugar so far today. I think I am going to pick up some roasted chicken and a salad for lunch with green leafy stuff and cucumbers. Does that sound ok?

[Judynyc]

That sounds great for lunch!! :yum: :thup:

What kind of dressing will you use?

Whats for dinner? :D

[AmaniNura]

After taking a look at my fitday, I am almost out of carbs for the day thinking 20 is a good number to stick to for now. The calories I would like to keep at about 1800 to 2,000 for the day. I think I will likely eat chicken with some crystal light for an early dinner when I take my son to open fields for soccer. I have to go get a haircut too. I am going to work on not eating anything after 7:00pm. Drinking water, crystal light or having a sugar free popsicle before bed as a treat.

So far so good.. not ready to kill anything yet. ;) Yippee!! Yea me!

[Judynyc]

After taking a look at my fitday, I am almost out of carbs for the day thinking 20 is a good number to stick to for now. The calories I would like to keep at about 1800 to 2,000 for the day. I think I will likely eat chicken with some crystal light for an early dinner when I take my son to open fields for soccer. I have to go get a haircut too. I am going to work on not eating anything after 7:00pm. Drinking water, crystal light or having a sugar free popsicle before bed as a treat.

So far so good.. not ready to kill anything yet. ;) Yippee!! Yea me!

Good girl!! :thup:

If in fact you are doing SBD, I would like to suggest that if you do become hungry sometime after 7 pm, it is perfectly OK to make yourself a small salad and put a HB egg into it. A HB egg always works well to quell my hunger. :idea:

[ValerieL]

You might want to have a look at a book, "The Sugar Addict's Recovery Program". It explains all about the biochemical reasons we have cravings, and often fail on diets. It explains that the reason we fail is not because we are weak willed or unmotivated. It has to do with your blood sugar and insulin levels, as well as your neurotransmitters, such as serotonin, and beta endorphin.

I think this aspect of obesity is all too often overlooked, even by those of us who have found it to be true for ourselves.

We are not weak willed, we are not unmotivated. We have bodies that over react to refined carbohydrates and sugars and we are normal, fallible people that are not perfect.

The carbs grab us, make us addicted, hungry, put us on the insulin/blood sugar/hunger rollercoaster that is almost impossible to get off of. If we are lucky enough to figure out carbs are the issue, our bodies fight us tooth and nail as we try to get off them. We get off them and feel in control of our hunger and bodies for the first time in ages. Then our normal, fallible personalities make a mistake, eat a bagel or a Christmas cookie and it starts all over again. The carbs can actually make me forget that they are the problem in the first place.

I know there is a lot of debate about personal responsibility and such around obesity, but I firmly believe it's not just my own fault I became obese, there were definite, overwhelming physical contributors to my obesity. My body was broken in how it handled food. However, this doesn't let me off the hook. Once I figured out what was wrong with my body, and learned that I could fix it by staying off carbs, then it's 100% up to me to fix the problem.

I just hate to see us labelling ourselves as lazy & unmotivated. I don't think we are just because we became obese. You can't fix a problem if you don't know what the answer is. And it wasn't until I found low-carb that I found the answer.

Val

[LC_Dave]

Okay amatuer analysis here. But here goes...

(1) You sound a lot like me. I am basically easygoing and unmotivated. External influences rarely get to me. I am a hard worker who likes processes and likes to sink his teeth into something. I like to do work but hate to hustle. And there is a very big difference.

(2) Motivation, a-ha moments and the like are overrated. At least to me.

With that in mind, and quite accidentally, I went toward aspects of weight loss. It works for me because it isn't dependent on me being motivated or intense. It's casual and laid back and works with my personality and not against it.

Look, the thing about LC is that if you get low carb enough, you need less and less willpower. It kind of drains the desire out of you for sugars and grains. And then (for me) losing weight created its own momentum. I dislike regain more than anything in the world, so I'm paranoid not to do that.

If you can't get motivated, though, don't fight it. It's not in you to overcome it via motivation. It's something else. Find out what that is, and go for it.

Great post!

I agree!

[knightfree]

AmaniNura,

I could relate to much of what you wrote. First off to the husband-I'm 5'4 1/2", he's 6', and has now "gained a few pounds" and also resides at 130, like your husband.

The way you described the physical difficulties strongly impacted me. Fifteen years ago I got to my healthy low of 141 and held it for a year, but from 1996 it was up and up and up all the way to 298. I can relate and it makes me sad and grateful at the same time. Sad for the pain, but grateful to be here, now, and willing to make healthy changes that are really going to, and already are, making a difference.

I have a little bit of a different take on the "lazy and unmotivated"...for me, one of the reasons I've discovered that I wouldn't do stuff, is that I was a perfectionist. On some level I thought, well if I can't do it right, I'm not going to do it. Or I procrastinated...but sometimes even that was related to perfectionism. Through another website (I don't know if we're allowed to name other sites), the one thing that was repeated is, set a timer and do "whatever" (clean/organize/walk/etc.) for 15 minutes...you can do anything for 15 minutes. Then take a break or do something else. It's really pretty amazing how much can get done in that short amount of time. So, I don't know if you can relate to that at all, it's just my experience.

Best Wishes-Stick to it-You can do it and in fact you've already done some of it! Congrats on your loss.

[Kandra]

I agree with the suggestion about reading that book. It helps you to understand a lot of the 'why' of your old eating habits...which by the way also causes that sluggish feeling when you're eating carby foods. The addiction to certain foods is profoundly powerful in some people. I identified with so much that was written. The program had too many carbs for me, but many people have been successful using her plan. But, even if you don't chose to do her eating plan, I encourage you to read it.
You are motivated. You just are caught between two motivations. One to eat in your old pattern and another to stay on SB. In a quiet moment honestly ask yourself why you are motivated to eat foods that you know aren't beneficial for your body type. And ask yourself why you're motivated to over-eat (if this applies). Those answers might lead you to understand why you're lacking the motivation to change your eating habit even though you want to. You may want to have to a couple of sessions with a therapist who specializes in weight loss to have a better understanding of how to find that motivation in you (everyone is different).
One more suggestion, be kind to yourself, this is a journey that takes time. It's not an all or nothing journey. It's one step at a time and it can be a journey of self-discovery if you make it one.
I wish you every success.

[AmaniNura]

11:30pm this is the time of night when all common sense leaves me and I waddle into the kitchen looking for that bedtime bottle (snack). I always sleep better on a full stomach. I said earlier that I would not eat after 7pm, and that is especially hard for me tonight. I'm getting ready for bed and having a sugar free popsicle as I type this.

Earlier this evening, my husband went to the store. He came home with tea, milk, cereal for him and my athlete son and 6 cupcakes. He walked around throughout the evening eating 5 of the six. My son had the last. Honestly looking at them, other than the frosting with looked like nectar from heaven.. (whipped lard and sugar nectar lol) that was the only part of the cupcakes that appealed to me.

Have you ever wanted a food and then when you get it, you eat it even after you decide following the first bite that it didnt taste as good as you expected and then proceed to eat it because you have it in your hand? I have done and do that alot too. Although you will be happy to know, I did not knock my husband down and pry the chocolate cupcake from his hand or even ask to taste it. I just glared at him... LOL Nothing makes a skinny guy more nervous that a fat chick eyeing his cupcake LOL> Sorry, but it really was funny.

I do think that my first grade teacher... Mrs. Vanatta (may she rest in peace) was sorely mistaken when she labeled me lazy and unmotivated. I am looking forward to my posts here. I actually kicked my son and the husband offline so that I can come see who has posted and get some feedback on my food today. It was honestly alot of food, but I know if I go to 1200-1500 calories, I might as well just go get the carton of chocolate ice cream now since after a few days of drastic calorie cutting compared to my usual fare I would go on a binge and a half.

I am anxious to hear some suggestions for lower carb food ideas.

[c_cat]

Have you ever wanted a food and then when you get it, you eat it even after you decide following the first bite that it didnt taste as good as you expected and then proceed to eat it because you have it in your hand? I have done and do that alot too. Although you will be happy to know, I did not knock my husband down and pry the chocolate cupcake from his hand or even ask to taste it. I just glared at him... LOL Nothing makes a skinny guy more nervous that a fat chick eyeing his cupcake LOL> Sorry, but it really was funny.

Ever done that? umm yeah! Definitely. I didn't get here only eating the most perfect wonderful morsels that completely satisfied a specific craving. :) If your husband gets really nervous around you - he can take that poisonous stuff out on the porch - like a smoker. :)



I do think that my first grade teacher... Mrs. Vanatta (may she rest in peace) was sorely mistaken when she labeled me lazy and unmotivated. I am looking forward to my posts here. I actually kicked my son and the husband offline so that I can come see who has posted and get some feedback on my food today. It was honestly alot of food, but I know if I go to 1200-1500 calories, I might as well just go get the carton of chocolate ice cream now since after a few days of drastic calorie cutting compared to my usual fare I would go on a binge and a half.

I am anxious to hear some suggestions for lower carb food ideas.

Seriously - for your first few days? weeks? just worry about eating low carb. Don't starve. The idea at the beginning is to reprogram your body - and get those sugar cravings to give up the fight!

Good for you. Stick with it. :agree:

[Cind3r3lla]

ya i understand how u feel. today was my one week anniversary of me starting atkins. up to this point ive lost 6 pounds. although, i celebrated by eating a chicken wrap with a tortilla and a couple fries...and the worst...CHEESE STICKS. oh man i totally binged i felt like i couldnt stop. although i came back home and went for a walk and felt a little better although now i feel that this hole week was a total waste and i just ruined everything, and for what? nothing! it wasnt even that goood!!!!

[AmaniNura]

Good morning everyone. It's 10:45 and I am feeling awake but not buzzing with enthusiasm about cleaning up the house today before my kids come over. We aren't necessarily planning a cook-out, but I do want to do something special. Not sure what though.

DS cleaned the living room. DH is avoiding me so that I won't ask him to do anything. The boys are going to get some fireworks today.

The scale was down today to 339.2. Although I realize it is not really down, that it is really all water weight its still nice to be below 340. I hope I can keep it below.

[Sallie]

The scale was down today to 339.2. Although I realize it is not really down, that it is really all water weight its still nice to be below 340. I hope I can keep it below.

Hey...a pound is a pound is a pound. Congrats on the loss!! :thup:

Keep your posts coming, they make me lmao :D

Sallie :rose:

[knightfree]

Congrats on the pound.
Hope you had a great LC day!

[AmaniNura]

I am so tired, I can't get up to go to bed. We set off some fireworks with the kids in our back yard. DH has to be up at 4:30am. All in all, it was not a horrible day diet wise. I have lettuce, tomato and cucumbers for a salad for work tomorrow. I just need to make sure I get up in time to do it.

I thought about riding my bike today, but didnt do it. perhaps tomorrow I will at least get on it for 10 minutes.

Back to work in the morning for two more days before the weekend.

Have a good night everyone.

[MisNoodles]

I know the Atkins WOE works, I have lost weight this way before. Hundreds of pounds. (up and down) I just decided (key word) to blow it by eating enormous amounts of food for stupid reasons for a long period of pitty me time after a bad personal period in my life and could not put the brakes on. I am now looking down that road traveled a couple times before, and not looking forward to that long journey again. I remember being on the treadmill and telling myself. I will never get this fat again. I hate sweating and feeling gritty and the blood pulsing in my ears as I struggled to get through 30 minutes of walking that felt like hours.

The issue now is not whether I can do it or not again, its how can I change whatever it is about my way of thinking that will keep me from repeating this cycle for the rest of my life. The journey so far has been like this. 120 up to 185 then up to 210 then down to 175lbs then up to 220. Then up to 260, then down to 210, then up to 320, then down to 230 then up to 265 and finally up to 360. This last one was a killer. I need to find some physical activity that I do not loathe. I need to find something not based on other people to motivate me to keep going.

I am going to be a grandma for the first time in a week or two and my youngest son is a very active teenager who I would love to walk out on the field with in the fall soccer season and not have him be embarrassed on parents night. I would love to lay down on the bed and not have my breasts fall under my arms. I would love to roll over without having to rock back and forth for momentum. I want to put a seat belt on without struggling. I want to reach all those parts of my anatomy that really need extra attention in the shower. I need to be able to put my shoes on without veins in my head bulging or calling for back up. Getting my leg within reach to tie my shoes is a struggle.

There are no other people I come in contact with in a day who have issues finding a towel big enough to wrap around their butt. I work in the media with women who run, or who play tennis or who are just naturally thin and gorgeous! This personal struggle is just that a very personal struggle. If asking a question and getting an answer about the steps necessary to get it done was all that was required, we would all be thin. Somewhere between that knowledge and action there is an intermittent short circuit that needs diagnosed and repaired. I guess thats where I am at the moment. In the meantime, visiting this forum and being honest about my feelings is as good as it will get. I keep my fitday journal linked in my signature. I will try hard to keep that updated nightly and post at least three times a day. Morning, lunchtime and before bed.

I appreciate each and every one of you :) It will be nice to see your smiling fonts as I travel this road again.


I know EXACTLY what you mean with this entire rant!

I particularily liked the part where you said "I would love to roll over without having to rock back and forth for momentum."


I remember having to do that!

Oh the things we put ourselves through!

It is incredibly difficult finding motivation when you can't even find your own feet. The only way it is going to happen for you is if you get scared enough to push through the fear!

I know that sounds sort of weird but I can't explain it any other way. It is a fear I'm almost certain of it, a fear of what? who knows, that's different for all of us. In my case it was a fear of feeling bad, of having anxiety, of feeling empty inside. I'd eat to quell that fear. (I still do, more than I should)

Being scared I was going to permanently damage my body gave me motivation.
Being scared I was going to get diabetes and die gave me motivation.
Being scared I was going to lose my daughter if I couldn't find some sort of energy to take better care of her motivated me.
Being scared I'd never find anyone to love me again motivated me.

Being scared, got me through the fear!

I can't tell you what's going to scare you enough, but there's something, it exists, and when you find it don't run and hide. be scared. Being scared sometimes is a good thing.

-Ashley
aka MisNoodles

[AmaniNura]

Countdown to freedom! One hour till I am out of here! Can you tell I have lost all focus? I am thinking of eating again even though I am not hungry. THAT is not good. Bored. Antsy.

[katwoman]

So, let's use that hour to brainstorm what you're going to do instead of eat without being hungry. . .

Hmmmm, read a good book? Relax in a bubble bath? Listen to your favorite music? Make a list of all the reasons you're taking better care of yourself? Any of these sound interesting?

[AmaniNura]

I keep having to pee... perhaps trips to teh bathroom will help keep me away from my tiny fridge in my office.

[katwoman]

And perhaps you're shedding that excess water weight too.

[MisNoodles]

oops just missed me on the chat, I was kissing hubby goodbye (he works nights)

[AmaniNura]

Sure enough, this morning the scale was still not giving me the desired response. 341.7. I would like to hit 300 by the end of August, my son's birthday. I will start the next step today beginning to exercise. Wish me luck!

[DrH]

I teach a course on motivation and believe it or not, we can be motivated to do nothing. Just something to think about - where your energy is going. Jill

[quibbers]

Saw your journal and thought I'd come by and wish you good luck on your exercise journey. I whined about it for months, cause I hate it, hate to sweat, but it is the only way I can get any results and it does make me feel better (after the first couple of days). Do you have a plan? I usually start slow- like 10 mins and slowly build up. There are lots of exercise challenge groups on the forums, if that helps. It helps me if I have to be accountable and "check in" with mine.

Sounds like you are good and on your way with the proper eating. I have recently been trying to stay away from the evening snackage :lol: with mixed sucess.

Also-there are tons of great recipes on the board here. Karen has them nicely organized, so try a few!

Good luck and come see me sometime:D

Quibs

[pinkclouds]

hey there. I was reading your post and all I can think was how much I could relate to what you were writing. I don't know if I have any words of wisdom for you... but I wanted to let you know that I am greatful that you expressed the way you feel on here, because it helps those of us who are feeling very much the same way feel not-so-alone.

I know that motivation is something that truly only comes from within...whether it's fear, love, jealousy, or ambition that drives it doesn't matter. It's in you and you have to figure out how to find it. It's buried deep in some of us, but that doesn't mean we're lazy. I'm not a lazy person, but I am overwhelmed, and my motivation is buried under all of that right now.

I hear it alot...focus on one thing at a time, one day at a time. Rome wasn't built in a day...blah blah blah... but it's SO True!!! :) 1 minute at a time. Move yourself one minute at a time. Do you like music? I love music, and putting on a really great song that makes me want to dance is a good way to get me started. Atleast if I can dance for just that one song, I have done something...

Maybe there is something you love just as much that can help you get moving?

good luck...and thanks for the welcome!

[AmaniNura]

I feel pretty good about today. I tried really hard today to focus and leave the house prepared and I was! I took two small salads to my moms. I ate them instead of the hominy and potatoes and other "Kentucky" food my mom prepares. I did really well. Its 10:54pm and I should honestly be in bed. Tomorrow I need to be up at 5:15am to get ready for work. I bought some clothes for the office not too long ago and I love them, but after buying them I have obviously gained weight. The one dress is so cute. I really want to wear it. I love to wear dresses in the summer. So much cooler than pants, but I swear i usually wear black pants and some top that is long enough that it covers my bulging gut. My criteria for picking clothing is to cover as many rolls as possible as loosely as possible. So i look like i am wearing Imar the tent makers latest creation most of the time. I would be happy with a big waist if I could only have a waist for now. Perhaps I will go to sleep tonight and dream of wearing my dress. :) sigh...

[justnicole]

We all eat for reasons most of them are hidden and it can take some real soul searching to find those answers. Changing your eating habits and getting active are only a start. Perhaps therapy will help Amani with some of her issues. I know it did me. Just a thought! :) Good luck hun!!! I am in your corner! :)

[AmaniNura]

I look forward to the day when I have less than 100 pounds to lose. I am thinking that should be next summer. Hopefully by my birthday 07/07/08, I will be down 100+ pounds. I did decide on my birthday this year that I can spare 12 minutes every day for myself to exercise. I'm on day 4. I ordered a pedometer from Omron. I will begin walking every other day when it comes. I will ride the bike on opposite days. My walking will be for 15 minutes to start. I will increase my time and intensity eventually but for now I feel comfortable with this and at least I am moving and not sitting on my can doing nothing.

[justnicole]

My walking will be for 15 minutes to start. I will increase my time and intensity eventually but for now I feel comfortable with this and at least I am moving and not sitting on my can doing nothing.

YOU GO GIRL!!!!

[AmaniNura]

336 today. I never thought the day would come when I would welcome a 2 in front of my weight. I looked forward to onederland. This was not supposed to happen. LOL Jokes on me it did.

Time, patience, consistency and strength of conviction. I want to live a long time. I want a healthy life with reasons to smile.

I mostly want my son Luke to be proud of me. I am doing this as a gift to him too. Pictures on parents night that don't look awful.
I was mortified last year.

[AmaniNura]

334.5 today... woo hoo!!!

[LCRobbie]

my 2 cents

I was motivated by my son....for about two weeks.

I was motivated for a lot of reasons.

It's weird but non of them really stuck too well. The one I am on now is the need I have for ankle reconstruction surgery.....the other ankle. My first was 14 years ago and contributed to my mass.

I am currently focused on dropping pounds for my leg, ankles, my son, I am in a wedding in September and so on. But you know what really motivates me the most.....seeing it happen. I did strict induction several weeks ago and saw it come off again for the first time in over a year.

Dissimilarly, I see my wife sneaking this and that, skipping the gym, and not losing weight. I try not to coach her but it is difficult because she has done it in the past and I know she can do it. I am attracted to her but as I drop pounds and see that she isn't even really trying (eventhough we made countless agreements to do so) I wonder if my attraction is fading....not because I don't love her, but more out of disappointment I guess.

Believe me, I am not stud or anything but if/WHEN I get to goal, it will be a fairly muscular/strong 250 and I will be looking pretty good. I would never cheat...NEVER but I am sure my confidence will be brimming when I reach that point and things in my life will be different.

Now, just decide that food will not control you, that you will be healthy and ask him for support/help.

[AmaniNura]

I was thinking earlier today while talking to my office mate that I wish she was doing the same plan as me since she is trying to lose weight too. Although, she is still eating lean pockets and yogurt and snacking at will. I told her about how well this way of eating works, and of course I am not a big motivator yet since my weight loss has only been 7 pounds. There is a part of me that wants her to ask me how I am doing it and want ito lose weight as much as I do.. I have NO IDEA why. She is just cutting back, not really dieting as its not a focus for her. I guess because when you partner with someone it makes the decision to skip the daily birthday treats much easier since you are not alone in doing something that is really hard to do. The weight loss is of course the biggest motivator, but I do feel a bit lonely and wish I had someone to share the success with that I see every day. My husband is 135 pounds soaking wet and loves me no matter what, and when he says he is proud of me it means something, but not as much as if he were 300+ pounds and realized where I am and where I have been.

I have gained and lost hundreds of pounds easily, and I am thankful I finally get it and realize I can do it this time for good. I am motivated by me and my success. I hope to use it to motivate other people but if nothing comes of it other than my ability to tie my shoes without back up, so be it! Its all worth it!

[katwoman]

That's where WE come in Amani. And give it a few months--you'll have lots of people asking how you're doing it--and perhaps a few will even decide to join you.

[AmaniNura]

Ketone level is large..
Feeling pretty good, getting ready to ride my bike. Have a good night. 334.5 Only 190 pounds to go... ugh.

[pinkclouds]

but I do feel a bit lonely and wish I had someone to share the success with that I see every day.

Well...what are we? chopped liver? Well atleast it's low carb. :lol: Use this wonderful site to share your excitement and successes, soon people will notice...trust me! :agree:

[suze_c]

Amani- I use to look at the BIG picture, of how much weight I had to lose in all. I find that setting smaller goals helps me out. Different things work for different ppl. I know I need to be way under 200- but for right now- my longer term goal is just to get into one-derland. My short term goal- starting May 1st- was to lose 30 pounds by Aug. 19th- I've lost 20 of that so far.I didn't start low carb'n until 7-7-07 though. Even setting daily goals of carbs or such, and coming within that range is a good feeling of accomplishment. Figure out what may work for you.

[katwoman]

A lot of what works for me is watching the percentage of loss change. I'm at 45% as of today. . .for some reason it thrills me to see that percent number change even by one percentage point (it was at 44% just yesterday). I can't wait to cross the 50% line.

[pennink]

A lot of what works for me is watching the percentage of loss change. I'm at 45% as of today. . .for some reason it thrills me to see that percent number change even by one percentage point (it was at 44% just yesterday). I can't wait to cross the 50% line.

YES! I love to see the percentage change! The day I hit the 50% mark I was so thrilled and on a high that I wanted to share it with my co-workers, but they would have thought I was talking in foreign tongues or something! :lol:

I'm having some issues (well, a LOT actually) with a woman I work with. She's getting heavier, yet seemingly trying to outdo my 'healthy' diet. She eats grapes, trail mix, oatmeal, apples by the bushel and constantly insists on telling me what she's eating. I dont' know whether she jealous of my loss or looking for approval, or showing me how great she has that she can eat what I want.

I don't get her. I mean, she's REALLY gaining. She looks like a puff pastry with a cherry on top her face is so red (high BP, I'd imagine). Her breathing is laboured and I worry for her health (on some levels, on some I'm pretty much happy to let her misguided eating teach her the hard way as she's been fairly mean to me over the years). My solution to the laundry list of what she's eating was to just kind of laugh sarcastically and say, 'uh oh, poison!' then tune out.

I'm getting a ton of attention from people now (I was told yesterday my outfit was nice, but it was starting to look like pajamas--yeah, the pants were a big baggy, but I'd just worn them the week before and they weren't!)

so many people are dieting in our office that it's actually a good environment for support, but all the plans are so different there's still a loneliness in the only one eating leftover steak and putting cream in my coffee! I am, however, the one who is losing the most and the most rapidly. They'll all come over eventually--I can tell.

But 'healthy' cream puff woman is driving me insane.

[katwoman]

I dont' know whether she jealous of my loss or looking for approval, or showing me how great she has that she can eat what I want.
My vote is the jealousy. Especially if a lot of her meanness toward you has been because you were heavier than she was--and now you're losing weight and she's gaining. It's disturbing the status quo and she doesn't like it one little bit.

My stock answer to "oh, you can't eat this can you?" is--yeah, I CAN eat it I just prefer making healthier choices for my body than that. So while she's munching on her dry trail mix--enjoy your juicy leftover steak and coffee w/cream with a smile on your face.

[pennink]

My vote is the jealousy. Especially if a lot of her meanness toward you has been because you were heavier than she was--and now you're losing weight and she's gaining. It's disturbing the status quo and she doesn't like it one little bit.

My stock answer to "oh, you can't eat this can you?" is--yeah, I CAN eat it I just prefer making healthier choices for my body than that. So while she's munching on her dry trail mix--enjoy your juicy leftover steak and coffee w/cream with a smile on your face.


I'm pretty much sure it's jealousy too. I can't say the 'i can have but prefer not to eat, as she's really not doing the ooooh, look what i have' (Yet!) I just say, 'that's nice, but I have my leftover sirloin and asparagus with cheese sauce'
LOL!

[pinkclouds]

I just say, 'that's nice, but I have my leftover sirloin and asparagus with cheese sauce'


:lol: I was just going to say "Two can play that game!" and just retaliate with all the lovely foods you're eating that she can't on her apple and trailmix diet. ;)

nice job...and just keep shrinking...maybe that will get her attention and make her see that she needs to change.

[pennink]

OOOH, and i forgot... one day she said, "oh, I'm having pork tenderloin tonight. I can't wait."

I guess she was shocked when I said, "Oh, I had that a last weekend, with grilled veggies, in a wonderful marinade. I hope yours is good."

she was quiet and said, "Or maybe fillet... not sure."

I said, "You know how I like my fillet? with baked brie on the top and wrapped in bacon. YUM!"

She just went back to work.

I mean, arguing with a low carber about yummy food is just silly, people!!! Sure, a nice lasagna could have given me pause, but to taunt me with meat? puhlease

[pinkclouds]

I mean, arguing with a low carber about yummy food is just silly, people!!! Sure, a nice lasagna could have given me pause, but to taunt me with meat? puhlease


:lol: LMAO!!!!

[AmaniNura]

There is something to be said for the great food we get to eat on this WOE. I do not feel deprived at all. I honestly am over the carb hump. My husband is sitting next to me eating a huge chunk of hot fudge cake from Frisch's with ice cream and I do not even want a bite. Normally I would push him down take it from him and tell him to go get more. :) (not really but close).

The office people are the worst for sure.

Looking at the % of fat on my body now and I know that I am over half fat!! LMAO If someone cranks the heat up too high around me, I think I may puddle on the floor. Might even be faster than Atkins.

[pennink]

Looking at the % of fat on my body now and I know that I am over half fat!! LMAO If someone cranks the heat up too high around me, I think I may puddle on the floor. Might even be faster than Atkins.


Amani, "I'm meltinggggggg, meltinnnnnggggg...."

wouldn't that be the best though? :lol: Well, I guess we found ketosis, and it's melting me away right now!

(Better turn up the heat on my butt though, I'm starting to look too much like a triangle)

[AmaniNura]

Sunday nights are the hardest for me. I am not looking forward to going to work tomorrow. UGH. It's not that I hate my job or anything, its just hard to get in the groove sometimes.

[AmaniNura]

Not lazy.. not unmotivated. My body is just not cooperating. :)

[AmaniNura]

It's Sunday evening and I am restless. I have only loaded teh dishwasher today, washed one load of laundry, cooked breakfast and have spent the majority of my day doing pretty much nothing.

I wanted to go see my mom, I wanted to go see my dad, but all i managed was napping and doing nothing. I think I need to plan for a nothing day. That gives me six days to be a good contributing member of society and my family and one day to be an absolute self indulgent louse. :)

Anyone have any statistics on whether that helps improve mood and motivation? I am hungry... I think. I need to go find something low carb to eat or find something to do. I have not cheated since July 2, but its getting harder not to give in to the urge to go off plan for one day. Today at 327.1 is the lowest weight for me yet, and you would think i would be very happy. I am, but its happening so slowwwwwwwwwwly. Any ideas how to speed things up?

[AmaniNura]

Ok back to lazy and unmotivated. I watched the biggest loser tonight and see the last chance workouts and how sweaty and hard they work. I personally dont sweat. I think that means I don't work out hard enough to work up a sweat. The holiday weekend I spent the majority of it sitting with my DGS in a rocking chair in between binges of stuffing, potatoes, pie and other thanksgiving leftovers that it was too much of a shame to let go to waste. What is it they say.. You can let it go to waste or let it go to waist. Your choice.

Hmm... feeling much better today being back on track for two days.

[BelmontLil]

Hi I just saw this thread for the first time.

I feel the same way many times, and I too saw the gleam waning from my DH's eyes.

I am so afraid of failure, I need a lot of support on this diet. I decided to bite the bullet and get medical help for my diet and weight problem which was starting to cause me serious depression.

So I am on an LC diet medically supervised. While I am spending more money than I would like on it, the reality is that I feel safe now, like I'm not going to DIE.

And for the first time in my life I REALLY Do feel like I can do it, which is the new motivation in me.

My weigh in is tomorrow, and while I know the thanksgiving week was hard for me, I'm going to just face it and move ahead.

I'm sure each of us has a motivation, maybe mine was fear that I am going to die early and leave my two youg children without a mother...

I hope you stick with things and stay here for support. Its been invaluable to me and I hope we can help you too!

[swingdance]

I just saw this too..I can completely identify with most of the things you've posted..

How are you doing? You haven't been around here in a while. I would love to see how you are today!

[AmaniNura]

How are you doing? You haven't been around here in a while. I would love to see how you are today!

I strayed from the light for a while, but I am back! This thread is great. I hope you learn as much about yourself as I have. The good the bad and the ugly! :)