Blues

[Lessara]

I would like to start a forum for people with depression or anxiety.
Because from time to time I get blue. No its not always because something bad happened to me or like that. My mind just gets blue. I have anxiety (probably with a little bit of depression). :rolleyes:

Since being LC, I've been able to lower my meds and completed my counsilling sessions. I feel good about that.
But sometimes you just feel blue for no reason and need someone who understands. Not so much to give advice though some would be nice I'm sure. But to have someone to remind you that "This too, shall pass" :)

[Debi Warne]

I do understand -- there are days I just want to curl up in a blanket and just sit and do nothing.

I found it interesting also, that Carnie Wilson now that she has lost 150 pounds has suffered anxiety -- she said she had to say goodbye to the old Carnie and that she once used to console herself with food and was now looking for other more healthy ways.

You welcomed me on my first day here and that really meant a lot to me and I always read and check up on how you are doing tho I'm not real good at responding -- I know you also mentioned one time about family and friends maybe ignoring you to some degree.

So just know, I am pulling for you in your corner and I find so much encouragement from all your successes and way you give encouragement to others.

When you feel blue, just take some time for you, my favorite is a bubble bath and I light candles -- of course it's late at night or the kids come in constantly to see what I'm doing, can I play in the bubbles, etc!

Take care.

[HelloKitty]

Lessara,
You are completely right about the blues. (I had that problem recently.) It would be nice to have a place to come where you can just talk with people that are/have experienced the same down days.
I'm just glad that I found LC, so that the gloomy days frequent are less and the medication is gone!

Melissa

[Lessara]

Just wanted people to know that if you want to let me know how blue you are I, too, will understand. Sometimes its just knowing someone is there. I honestly believe no one is actually alone.
So please, higher beings, can we get a Blues forum??

[captxray]

:wave:
Well, sometimes, even cowboys get the blues...I go to the local library and get video tapes of all sorts of subjects. Yesterday, I got 3 Depak Chopra tapes. What an incredible man! I got to feeling better just watching and hearing him speak! He's a medical doctor, an endocrinologist, to be exact. He really knows his stuff...and he's also gone back to India to study the ancient healing methods and has found out some very interesting things about our bodies and how we react to stress, anxiety, and depression...I recommend that you either pick up one of his tapes, or read a book that he has written. Believe me, as a psychotherapist, by trade, and a person who suffers chronic depression and anxiety caused by Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, I have read hundreds of books on the subjects at hand. His approach is extremely refreshing in this "New Age" when everybody is writting some psychobabble book about depression. I have also discovered an added bonus to LCing...I am less anxious and less depressed on this WOE. I have also been researching the other things I eat and put into my body and have found out about cooking oils, nightshades, grains, etc. that are detrimental to our health. Since going on Neanderthin, a paleolithic diet that doesn't allow grains, tubers, corn, sugar, etc., I have noticed that my moods are always better, even when under a tremendous amount of stress. Don't "try" to feel better. That just causes more stress and anxiety, and, eventually ...depression...because you can't make yourself feel better, even though your friends will tell you to do so. Decide what is priority in your life and concentrate on that, to the exclusion of other things...take a warm, soothing bath with some nice bath beads...go for a walk...A great psychotherapist was once asked the secret to curing depression...He said, "Go home. Put on your jacket and hat. Go out and find someone else to help feel better!" Service to others is the best cure for depression.

[Lessara]

I actually go to this site to see if I can help anyone. It does make me feel alot better. I was diagnosed PTSD years back and supposedly I am "better". I think so, though I would love the day when my startled reflex would stop! :D
I have to admit I get blue if I'm reminded about something in my past. How do you stop your brain from doing that? I've been in counsilling for two decades.
I agree with you also about LCing. It does help doesn't it? Especially if you find a good substitute for comfort food like exercise or a hobby. Don't you think?

[captxray]

:roll:
You betcha! Sounds like you're doing all the right things. Keep at it. It will help you to feel better. And, about PTSD...I've had it since I was 5 years old, seen a myriad of therapists, too...tried "everything" on my own...not as bad as it used to be, but I still have it...Just the other day, someone made me feel quite powerless and I started seeing him as a Viet Cong! Brother! I often ask, "Will I ever be normal, again?" Then, I realize I was never "Normal" to start off.

[Lessara]

It is so nice to meet someone who knows what I go through! I had many tramas that happened to me. My Dad was in Vietnam when I was 7-9 and I remember looking at the list of names on the TV to see if his name was on it. I was scared for two years. I am a daddy's Girl if you know what I mean. A real tomboy as a kid.
I remember how it change my Father.
I get my startled reflex from when I was 3 and I had a balloon pop in my mouth and down my throat. I don't remember it but any loud sound or someone/ something touching my back or arm causes it.
I was raped in college so that's why the touch thing happens.
Oh don't worry about me. I've had so much counsilling that I can talk very freely about it. I joked to my old counsillor once. I said I think therepy reprogrammed me. I was in therepy for 20 years and I believe it true.
So should I just stop thinking there is a real cure for this?
I figured so. But I'm glad I have training so I can deal with it better! I'm not depressed like I was as a kid. Its just the anxiety that gets me from time to time.

[captxray]

:wave:
I'm not sure if there is truly a "cure" yet for PTSD. However, there are many things that we can do to alleviate a lot of the stress. One of the biggest problems we face is our "thinking errors," or "cognative distortions." When we say things like, "I just never get it right..." or something like that, we are making a cognative distortion. I Must away, Fair Maid! I won't be around for most of the weekend, but let me know how you're doing. Always nice to talk with someone who understands on a deeper level than what is in a book.

[allisonm]

Hi Lessara! :wave:

I think you've raised an important topic in suggesting a forum for depression. I went through an eleven year depression that was devastating. That was back in the late seventies/early eighties when people didn't talk about it. I think it's pretty common and worse for those of us who are fat. Worse in part because many of us have blood sugar problems and are screwed up hormonally. Both of those factors exacerbate emotional problems. Add to that the pressure and scrutiny and rejection we face daily (or self-contempt for putting ourselves in this position) and it all adds up to a lot of heartache.

Originally posted by Lessara
So should I just stop thinking there is a real cure for this? I figured so.


Your question above about a cure reminded me of Dr. Phil (Oprah's Dr. Phil, the psychiatrist). In his books he says over and over, "Problems are not cured; they are managed. Problems are not cured; they are managed." Sort of like Karen's "Progress, not perfection. Progress, not perfection." It would be nice to think that you could just fix it once, permanently. Just find the right diet or medication or philosophy. But I think it doesn't work that way. I think you just handle it day to day, focusing only on the immediate problem at hand or just sitting it out.

Any time you need to bend someone's ear you can just email or PM me.

By the way, I think your solution of helping other people is brilliant.

Allison :)

[Lessara]

If I am on or if anyone would like a shoulder to lean on, I'm here to help. I've been dealing with so many "Issues" in my life so far that I'm open minded and willing to listen. I know it helps so much to share a pain or hurt better here than a food fix or a self hurting other method.
Just drop by and say you feel blue if that is how you feel.
You just might feel better.. Right?
Wow, did that sound like an ad or what?!

Sometimes I feel just like :eek:
or :mad:
or :D
or :confused:
or :rolleyes:
When all I really want is to feel :cool:
I'm getting there.

I'm having a good day, hope you all are too!

[tamarian]

Forum is now officially open. It currently combines depression and addiction issues for no obvious reason other than sharing a space until both issues merit their own space.

Wa'il

[Jen]

:thup:

Well, this forum couldn't have opened at a better time for me. This is exactly what I need right now. I have to leave for work (first day in a veeeery long time). But I'll be back tonight and share with you. Thank you so much... I feel less lonely all of a sudden. :)
Later,
Jen

[CarrieAnn8]

Well everyone its great to have this and to talk about it. And Lessara its also good to see someone out there that is very similar to me. I have lots of stuff in my past as well and i bring them up and get feeling crappy about them too. I as well have no problem telling everyone about it. Im not getting into it here cause i dont want to get into a discussion about whose life has sucked worse..... lol Please feel free to email me or whatever. Thanks again, this is great.

Im on a downer now so this has come at a good time.

Carrie-Ann

[slim2none]

Hey guys, this couldn't have come at a better time. I awoke this morning and just wanted to crawl back in the bed. I have suffered from chronic clinical depression for most of my life and most of my friends and family don't understand. My family's way of dealing with everything is "just don't think about it, think about positive things!" As most of you know that doesn't work.

[Lessara]

Oh have I heard that one, too often!
I have anxiety that reacts to something that reminds my brain of something that has happened to me before. I've learned to recognize 90% of the time my brain does this. I know how to feel less anxiety. But there is no way a brain can be controlled before it reacts!
I don't want to feel bad about myself just because 10% of the time, I have no clue what's causing it. I call them my "Just because" moments :p
What I do is:
1. Apologize if I scared or hurt someone, sincerely.
2. Start mentally describing the room I am in and try to pick out something of interest to tell a friend about.
3. Breath evenly and mentally calming myself down.

But as you might know. This is not an instantanious process!
But some people, especially, unknowingly, family members.
Hey, don't worry though, I understand! Welcome All! :wave:

[slim2none]

Hey guys, this couldn't have come at a better time. I awoke this morning and just wanted to crawl back in the bed. I have suffered from chronic clinical depression for most of my life and most of my friends and family don't understand. My family's way of dealing with everything is "just don't think about it, think about positive things!" As most of you know that doesn't work. :thdown: I am on anti-depressants, (for a long time, though not the same one), and have seen therapists also. My husband has done more for me than any doctor. He is so supportive and for someone that had a wonderful childhood, that's incredible. I, too, am not going into detail and compare my woes to everyone elses. I'm sure mine would pale in comparison but when you feel depressed telling yourself that you are so much better off than others doesn't seem to help. I have breast to bone cancer ( for 11 years now ) and know that hasn't helped but when I go to my oncologist and see others who are so much sicker than me I thank GOD and try to put mine aside. I love the doctor who said when you feel depressed go out and help someone else. Thanks for letting me vent, I feel better already and am going to try to get out and go for a walk with my dogs. :wave:

[Lessara]

I don't compare. Because what I've learned that is everyone has their demons and their troubles, what is bad for one may not be for others.
My example? My sisters think its funny that I'm afraid of young children playing with rubber balloons. They don't even try to imagine what is like for me to know that I fear a balloon. I mean how threatening does one look like?? But I had almost choked to death on one as a child, an event I don't remember but my brain does. I've to the point where I can blow a balloon up and I don't mind mylar ones at all. But its so hard not to feel silly. :rolleyes:

But don't you think its great to talk about something that has caused you pain? Its a relief to talk but I hope I don't make anyone uncomfortable or upset. :(

[CarrieAnn8]

Whats with today? All ive wanted to do is cry my face off. And im right with you...family just dont get it.

Carrie-Ann

[CarrieAnn8]

Heres a bit of my story.....

When i was 3 my mom left. I can remember her driving off. My dad is a very condenscending person so i was brought up being put down. by the time i was 13 i had been molested and raped by 3 different people. According to my dad, my cousin (16) was just lonely and needed a girlfriend...i was 5. I had my first nervous breakdown at 17, then another at 20 and one at 27. As far as my family is concerned, im whining and being slefish, trying to get attention.

The more i try to be myself and tell the world to get lost in their opinions, the more i realize that everyone around me (except for maybe 2 friends) doesnt like me. I get in a good mood and my hubby starts with crap like i dont love him anymore......why? cause im not being "co-dependant" and running around making him happy.

Thats all for now before i dont stop.

Carrie-Ann

[slim2none]

:mad: Dear Lessara and carrieann8,

I know what you are talking about. It infuriates me when people pooh-pooh your depression as something you should just get over. I wouldn't wish it upon anyone but sometimes I wish they could get an inkling of what I have gone through, just so that they wouldn't be biased and think that depression is a self-indulgence that we choose in life. I, too, was sexually molested as a child and know what that can do to a person for the rest of their life. I never felt worthy of anything until I married the man that I have now. carrieann8, I feel for you when it comes to your husband, I had one just like him. As long as I was down in the dumps things were just hunky-dorey. We can overcome this. This is a great place to unload, it is a whole lot better than my last therapist who wanted me to write letters to both my step-father and my mother. Needless to say, I couldn't because that would be a no-no and my whole family would never forgive me. Thanks for sharing. WE SHALL OVERCOME! :D

[shannonlee]

I've suffered from depression for years. After some therapy and medication, I've got a little bit of a handle on it. I can tell when I'm going in that direction and usualy do something before I hit bottom.

Sometimes it's unavoidable though. In the last 4 months I've had to deal with a lot. It's caused an enormous weight gain since the shoulder I lean on belongs to the Colonel, Ronald McDonald or one of thier friends.

I believe that hormones have a lot to do with my depression. I think that's why I've done well in the past on the Adkins program.

Now if I could just stick to it.... :)

-Shannon

[slim2none]

:wave: Shannon,

I absolutely agree about the hormones, I have to take an anti-hormone because of my cancer being hormone receptive. It makes things worse, definitely. As for Ronald's that really made me laugh, it's my favorite fast food place to eat. I would just about do anything for those fries. YUMMMMMM...............Oh well, I am not going to look like a potato nor feel like one either. You can do this; just keep saying "I know I can, I know I can". We are so much stronger than we give ourselves credit for. I had doubts in the beginning, fell off the wagon once but hopped back on and feel great about it. Tonight I'm having baked garlic chicken and steamed squash with BUTTER. YUMMMMMM............
:spin: Keep up the good work and let me know how you are doing. :thup:

[Jen]

Well, yesterday after work I finally decided to go the my therapist's office to schedule an appointment. My panic attacks are back. At least this time I know why. Last time I had them I was heading towards a severe depression, and believe me I don't want to go through that again. I'm doing the right thing. At least I know I need to talk, and WANT to talk which is not that obvious with me. I suffer from co-dependancy and for the first time in many many many years, I'm totally alone, boyfriend is gone, my son is now living with his father (for practical reasons, we get along just fine), to tell you the truth I'm in SHOCK, there is no other word for it, and I've been like that for 2 weeks now. My appointment is on Friday, I'll let you know how it went. Just needed to tell someone. Hope everyone is having a fine day.
Chin up.
Jen :)

[slim2none]

:wave:

Jen, good luck with your Dr. appointment. I hope everything turns out well for you. Just take it one day at a time and let us know how things are going. We are all here to get help and be helped. Don't hesitate to ask for it, ever.

I will pray for you, I know some of what you are feeling. Don't you hate it when you are explaining your feelings to someone and they say, "I know exactly how you feel". They mean well but, no, they don't. We all have our crosses to bear and we are all individuals with different problems.

Let us know how things go on Friday. :thup:

[Lessara]

I have no idea how to respond to some of these posts! I want to but I keep starting with: I know what you mean... or I remember going throught that same thing....
As you know most people with Anxiety or Depression have been through many things in their life and yes some are like others.
I Like people saying they have been there, it makes me feel like I'm not alone. I want to talk to someone who was raped or who was abused by parents or partners. To me they are the people who would truely understand.
I read how tough things are/were to some of you and I want to hug you and say "I understand and I still think you are a great person." that or "This, too, shall pass." These are statements I've used on myself many times. :)

Oh most of all, You are not alone!

[Jen]

And YOU are not alone either!! We are all here for you, and thank you so very much for opening this Forum... you really care and it shows...you're beautiful inside and out, and I mean it.
Talk to you later

Sweet thoughts

Jen

[disneybebe]

Since first reading this thread 2 days ago, I've been wanting to write to u guys. Yet I found myself lost for words & didn't know where to begin. It made me mad to read about how some of u have been treated in the past. It made me sad too. I couldn't even begin to imagine your pain & hurt, for once I'm lost for words.
To Lessara: U've started something special here. U've given comfort to a lot of people, thank u.
To CarrieAnn: My heart sank when I read your story, I'm so sorry.
My heart goes out to u.
To Slim2none: U helped me before (I was the emotional eater). U were my "light" when I needed one, thank u. I wish u the very best of health, good luck.
To Jen: I hope everthing works out for u. Please be strong, girl.

Good luck.

Bebe

[slim2none]

:wave:

bebe,

T :) Thanks so much for the kind words. You all have helped me too.
This web site has been my salvation. I have found more support here than anywhere except for my husband. Keep up the good work and know that we are all in the same corner. Hope you have a great, wonderful day. :daze:

[CarrieAnn8]

Hi everyone. Im doing a lot better today than i was the other day. Had a big chat with hubby and sorted out lots with him. How is everyone else doing? The sun is out here and that helps lots. Might have to drag my butt outside for a bit today. Hope all is well and everyones day/appointments went well.

byeeee Carrie-Ann

[Lessara]

I've beem acting silly for the last few days.
And why? I've been having anxiety over a man, yes a man! :rolleyes:
I have a very good friend, who I love very much. I have for over a year. 5 or 6 months ago, he cut off all ties to me because I showed signs I had a major crush on him and he wasn't interested. It hurt. I have very few friends who are intelligent, funny, and are catholic. The things that make me that way.
Recently, a month ago, he and I started talking again. He started it. He actually stays an hour or two after work, just to talk to me.

I have almost two seperate people in me. The heart one and the mind one. My heart says "Oh you love him, then go and tell him."
My mind says "Yah right! Are you an idiot?! The guy thinks you are a dweeb! And he thinks you aren't attractive!" Then my heart self says "But I have so much to offer! I'm pretty, I like many of the things he does, I can read emotions so I know when he's upset, I'm terrific in bed, and I'm loyal to a fault!" Then my mind says, "Yah, but so what?! He doesn't care and besides, he probably would hate your family and your children, like everyone else you had a relationship with"
See what I mean?
I want to be his friend only, but sometimes when he's close to me, I get so attracted to him that I want to kiss him! Sometimes I feel he's attracted to me but for whatever reason he has, he wouldn't react to it. Is it all in my head.

Thanks for letting me say this, its been on my mind and I just want to let go. Lets face it I have more worries that need my attention than this! I wonder if this has to do with my new found identity?

I hope you all are doing well, I'll write after the weekend!

[catz2mom]

Just read all the posts. Am dealing with depression and anxiety. Have been off work now for 4 weeks - unable to work related to increased stress and increased anxiety related to same and some medical problems that may or may not be stress related. That sums it up in a nutshell. Having some up days, days when I just want to cry. Days with no energy, getting things done every day, just varying amouts. Changing jobs - so now looking for a new job - that's another stress - but less stress than I'd face than if I returned to my previous job.

The support I read and felt in the posts for each other was fantastic. Came close to tears on more than one occasion. Lonliness is often a factor in depression, and is one of the issues I'm dealing with now. Even though I've lived in this area just over a year, the only people I know are the people I worked with. I'm out on medical leave and have not felt like making the contact with more than 1 or 2 people from work. So I've been seeking ways to make contact wiht humans, and have been resorting to e-mail with distant friends.

As more than one has commented, people just don't understand if they haven't been depressed. My husband's attitude is "grab your bootstraps, pull them up, and keep going". Medications changes, and psychotherapy are helping. The diagonosis of anxiety disorder is new, so as I'm learning about it, I'm understanding better what's been happening. Post traumatic steress disorder is appropriate also.

Sorry I've rambled on - don't feel like I've said alot. But I'm glad you're hear. I'll be reading your notes, and know you're hear to listen.

Adria

[slim2none]

:wave:
Hello adria and welcome,

Yes we are here to listen, that's what's so wonderful about this web site. Hang in there and know that you are among people who really care what's going on with you. If you are feeling blue do what I do and come on this site and VENT. It will make you feel ever so better. :sunny:

[jmary]

Thanks Lassana for starting this discussion.

It seems this thread has come along at just the right time for many of us.

I am older than most and have been through many years of the roller coaster of major mood swings. Because I don't have all of the horrendous past experiences that so many of you have had to deal with, I feel so guilty when I'm overwhelmed with debilitating sadness. I've made some foolish choices in my life and tend to beat myself up - because after all, I did it to myself!

I do think my problems are genetic. I never knew why my mother was crying. Perhaps she didn't either. She was very hard on me. But I do know that if she'd known better, she'd have done better. I've taken meds in the past, for a number of years, but I stopped two years ago. For me, it was time. I am now an empty nester and feel that, since my bad times are fewer, and they don't affect, or hurt anyone else, I prefer to ride them out and learn what works.

I went to a women's group once. At the end of the six week session, the therapist asked us to share what we appreciated the most from our time together. I said it had been a disappointment to me because I had hoped to learn new stuffing skills and had learned none. Everyone laughed. I did too.

Today was hard. I can't type for tears. I'm sure tomorrow will be better. Thank-you all, dear ones, for being willing to open up.

Few, if any, people know I go through these times. I lock the door, take the phone of the hook, and go to ground.

I think we will all gain here. Mostly, as it's been said before, because we know we're not alone.

Thanks for listening.

J-Mary

[slim2none]

:bhug:

J-Mary,

I read your post and just wanted to say hello and hope that things get better for you. Sometimes when I get really down I just stay focused on getting through that day and promise myself things are going to get better tomorrow.

Hang in there and know that you are NOT alone. Just come on this web site and VENT. :(

Good luck and keep us posted. I am also glad that they started this forum. I do believe it helps.

Have a good day. :thup:

[Lessara]

I was so down this past weekend. My daughter went on a trip with my parents for three weeks and my son went to stay a week at his father's house. You would think I would love having a vacation from my kids. I do and I don't. I miss them!
I never realized how I use my children to distract myself from my own thoughts! :rolleyes:

Yesterday, I let thought after though enter my mind. And instead of egnoring them. I tried to think them through.
I realized for example How important friendship is to me.
Its more important than having relationship!
I also realized how cluttered my life is, not only physically but mentally too. So I'm decluttering my home this week :)

Hello, J-Mary! I'm Mary-K ;) Call me Kassie
You know, depression or anxiety doesn't always have a 'physical' cause. I've know people with wonderful growing up and who have great jobs but still have anxiety. I really think its got to be mind chemicals or something like that. An inbalance maybe.
But don't feel guilty that you didn't 'suffer' like others. Trama is different in everyone.

Hi to all the rest!!

[fiona]

It is easy to say "don't think about it". Nonetheless I feel it is important to accept memories that surface from time to time and then relax, release and let them go.

Writing down feelings as fully as possible (have to set a time limit of one hour or so) and then burning the sheets of paper imagining letting go of all the feelings on the paper helps one to do that.

Going over and over the past traumas only reinforces them. Whilst accepting that I will never ever be 100% happy it is important to turn them around and focus on the positive for as much of the time as possible.

Take care.

[sunchick]

Hi guys, depression is something that i have struggled with for the past few years. I have not had horrific childhoods besides my parents divorcing and sometimes I get so angry with myself because I know that there are so many worse thigns that could happen in my life and how do I give myself permission to be so sad all of the time. I have been on medication for the past 2 years and find that it does help, but it does not make things perfect. I have wonderful friends, a wonderful family, and a wonderfful boyfriend. But still I hate myself (and my life sometimes). It is horrible. And the thing that is just unbearable to me is that I can't explain it. All of the sudden I will be in tears and not get out of bed for the whole day. I lay in bed and try and figure out what the problem is and why I am feeling that way and I have no answers. It makes my boyfriend feel terrible because he feels like he doesn't make me happy. But he does, he is so wonderful and I feel like such an idiot for still being sad when I have someone as loving as he is. If I ever lost himm, i do not know what I would do. Soemtimes it just makes me feel as though my life is out of control. It makes me feel weak. I want to be happy so much and the fact that I struggle just to get out of bed in the morning is so defeating. I have had eating disorders in the past and there are sometimes when i consider reverting back to my old ways. scary thoughts. anyway, I just wanted to share my thoughts and tell you all I think you are just amazing. thankyou

[slim2none]

sunchick,

My :rheart: goes out to you. I know what it is like to be so depressed that you don't want to get out of bed.

It's wonderful that you have such a wonderful boyfriend that is willing to help you. My husband is my salvation, more than the anti-depressants and therapy that I used to get. (I still need the anti-depressants). I had a horrid step-father and a horrid ex-husband modeled, (of course), after my step-father. I thought that a man had to abuse you or he was weak. Thank GOD I got over that notion.

Anyway, the next time you feel like staying in bed drag yourself to the computer and come on this forum and talk to us. WE CARE!
You are not alone.

GOD bless you. Take care and let us know how things are going. :thup:

[Lessara]

I think most of my friends and even my roommate would be surprised if they knew how much I hated myself a few years ago.
I found that when I only hear the harsh words of others and myself the hate starts and grows. This reminds me of something I read, "It takes 100 positive actions to erase 1 negative one". Isn't this so true?!
I now love myself, how, I'm not exactly sure.
I have learned to blame myself for only my actions and not others.
I used to feel bad about myself when a friend was having a bad day. Ownership of emotion is a problem I'm working on. I've learn that everyone will not want to be my friend. That I couldn't control that. I also recognised that some things I was experiencing was reminding my emotional mind of another time and place causing emotional distress.

For example: My daughter is mad at me and screams: "You don't love me!" and immediately I would think how My Father couldn't show love and how loveless I felt as a child, then I start thinking I failed as a Mother.

Nowadays, I recognize the situation as it is and realize that my daughter is just trying to push one of my buttons. So I give her a hug and send her to her room ;)

My heart is with you too and please continue to share your stories. We are here for you.

[heath1]

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to say this is great. I used to attend group therapy every week which costs me a pretty penny. This is the same thing only better because I don't have to leave the house. I can totally sympathize with you all. I was told I could write a book about my life. My family would kill me. Anyway, I wrote a poem it's very cheesy I know but I decided that each time I feel as bad as I did when I wrote it I would write another one. It actually made me feel better to see it on paper. I used to journal all the time, but sometimes you don't feel like it. This poem only took me 5 minutes to write so it might sound dumb but here it goes:

Why won't anyone hear me?

Why won't anyone hear me?
For I long to be joyful and free.

My soul feels twisted and torn,
I wish sometimes I hadn't been born.

Will I ever see a beautiful day?
Please tell me help is on the way.

My heart is lethargic and weighed down,
Will I ever see a smile from this frown?

My sadness runs as deep as the ocean,
My life is simply just going thru the motion.

My brain feels like a fried egg,
Please help me I beg.

Will this wretched despair ever end?
I do pray that my heart will mend.

My vision grows darker by day and pitch at night,
I don't know how much longer I can fight.

My mind feels confused and dim,
When did life get so grim?

For me it is as long as I can remember,
For my heart feels as though it is in it's last days of Dec.

For I long to again be carefree,
Why won't anyone hear me?

Well that's it I hope I didn't bore anyone with this. You tell family, your best friends and no one understand. They take you for granted, that you'll be o.k. or they expect you to be superwoman.

Thanks for listening.

Heath1

[slim2none]

:cry:

Heath1, I cried when I read your poem. It's beautiful. Thanks for sharing.

I know what you mean about getting more help from this forum than any therapist, and it's FREE! My family doesn't understand either, my husband has begged me to write a book about my childhood but my mother, (and probably all the rest of my family), would never speak to me again. The one time that I got up the courage to confront my step-father, (I was drinking, DRUNK I must confess), and called my mom's home. Needless to say she wouldn't put him on the phone and pretended, (for his benefit), that we were having a normal conversation . Did you know that my mother wrote the song, "Queen of Denial"? Just kidding but she doesn't want to hear anything bad about any of her family, including the WONDEFUL man she is married to. My sister and I, (the rebels), listen to her extoll on an on about how wonderful our childhood was. She is a STEPFORD wife and mother. Who is this woman, I know that she isn't the one who was there for the daily physical and mental abuse that was subjected on my siblings as well as her.

Oh well, let's not muddy the waters. It might upset your father!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I dearly love my mother but she has her own ghosts to live with, so she sticks her head in the sand. My sister and I call her Ostrich Head when we are discussing all this. Of course, I would never hurt her and let her know this.

Thanks for letting me vent once again. Gosh, I feel better! :roll:

[Lessara]

I want to thank you for sharing your stories!! It makes me feel that what I go through isn't so strange. My doctor told me once something that I want to share to you all.
He told me that Emotional Sensitive people are more prone to go to the Doctors for help than an not so emotional person.
Which he appreciates greatly. Its easier to cure someone of something if they notice it sooner. :D
Although in hind sight I wonder if this pretains to an extraverted emotional person relative to an introverted one? ;)

I know when I have the hardest time not getting emotional.
Its when my character gets attacked.
I get upset when my Mother tells me how my daughter behaves so much better than she does with me.
I get upset when the engineer I work with calls me a back stabber when I only feel good things toward my team.
I am not a liar, I am not lazy! Nor am I mean! :mad:
I am a truely nice person, I am truely a caring one.
I am cool! :cool:

Now if only I could believe this all the time :rolleyes:

[moussie48]

Lessara this was a great idea! I found it today, 2/27, and thought it was just perfect because I am so blue today. After reading about some of the horrible things that some of you have experienced I'm ashamed of myself for feeling blue when I thankfully have not suffered that way. I guess it is a chemical or hormone though because SOMETHING causes this depression to come upon me. I'm grateful mine is short term for the most part except for when my mom died. I was really so depressed then for about a year.

[Jerzee]

Is this guy you have your eye on involved in a relationship? If not he is a fool! I had a similar situation about a year ago. I had the chance at a relationship with a woman I had been friends with for a while. I was so afraid of ruining our friendship that I pretented to not notice her advances. She began confiding in one of my closest friends that I was driving her crazy and shortly after they were spending more and more time together. I did not know how much I cared about her until my friend informed me that he was going to ask her out. I was completely crushed and did not know what to say. What was I going to do, suddenly tell her how I feel and risk losing a close friend to boot? The moral to this story is "SEIZE THE MOMENT!"


BTW, great idea you had here! I am glad you suggested it.

[Lessara]

How's your Friday doing? I'm going out with friends and I'm going to try very hard to be swayed by carbs!
I'm bummed. My friend who I am interested in hasn't emailed me and he's off now for a 5 week trip.
Good thing I have more friends than one! :rolleyes:

[Jerzee]

Hi Lessara,

Did you really mean what you said? Are you really going to try to be swayed by carbs or was that just a mistake?


Go out and have fun with your friends and don't worry about this guy your are interested in. There are too many really great guys(like me) :D out there to be sitting home on a Friday night.

As for me, I will probably have a nice relaxing evening at home with a movie and something tastey for dinner.

[Lessara]

Yes I meant to say not sway...

I wish you were closer... a movie sounds nice ;)
Trust me, he's not on my mind any more than when I write about him. The great thing about having friends is that you are never truely alone.

To All. I'm a friend. You are not alone.

[Jerzee]

And here I thought you were headed out with full intentions of binging on carbs :p Be careful this weekend Lessara, no Ben & Jerry's or anything crazy like that :yum: lol!


Now I just have to figure out what movie I want to see. Have a great time tonight Lessara, I wish you were closer too.

[Lessara]

I was curious what movie are you watching?
Don't worry, I don't judge people like that ;)
I'm actually torn. I'm gaming tonight but I also feel
like being home and listening to music. I just got some new CDs and it would have been nice to hear all the songs.
Well I'm off, I'm helping in a Soup Kitchen tonight.
Last time I served bread ;)

Oh and you had to mention ice cream! Ben and Jerry's are my favorite.. sigh.. don't worry, I know where my weaknesses are.

[Jerzee]

Very nice! :thup: I should really get involved in something like that. Every good catholic should.


The movie depends on whether I watch it alone or with a friend. Could be a romantic flick or an action packed thriller.

[heath1]

Hope everyone is feeling well today. I had a bad day Tuesday all of a sudden I felt so blue I just felt awful I felt like eating a snickers bar which happens to be my favorite binge food. I guess my brain was looking for a quick fix to make me feel better. I feel better today, one day you may feel normal and the next day you feel like you want to jump off a building. I just try to take one day at a time. I've been trying to keep myself busy.

How is everyone else doing these last few days. I f you need to talk I'm here with an empathetic ear.

slim2none your'e too kind!

Heath1

[slim2none]

:heart:

heath1,

I know what you mean by taking it one day at a time. That's the best way to get through a difficult time, I always tell myself that tomorrow will be better. It has to be, right?

Hang in there, we can do this. We are all in this together and that makes it much easier, knowing that we aren't alone.

Have a good weekend! :wave:

[deb3]

I've been reading all of your messages and they have helped me to know that I am not alone.

My parents were divorced when I was young and my marriage consisted of emotional, physical, and sexual abuse that lasted 11 years with 3 kids to show from it. I Love my children and I take their problems as my burden. Especially my youngest(10yo), she has ADHD, Depression, PDD-NOS(autistic disorder), psychosis, bipolar, (I am getting her tested for allergies too) and as a parent I want to fix this, the problem is the doctors just don't know, all these things have very simular symptoms. I think the hardest burden is that everyone I know says she just needs more disipline. Like I need to feel that I am not doing enough for her. She has 3 doctor appointments tuesday. And because my X does not pay child support ($36,000) I quit my career(Office Manager) to move in with my mother and take care of my bedridden Grandmother with Dementia (whom I felt God telling me this was the right move).

Mother and I both smoke and are both trying to low carbing(one more than the other). My mom and grandmother both were widowed in 2000 and we lost my mom's brother in 2001 and my grandmother's sister last month. And this seems to just go on and on! Will it ever stop and can we ever expect a cure or can we find a stopping point for the bad so that we can start back on the uphill to somekind of happiness? Or is God punishing me because I will not stop smoking or something else I have done?

Sorry I will stop rambling now! No, I am not as bad as I sound but these are all thoughts that run through my head constantly and I think this is a place that I can unload!

I have decided with all that is going on and my feelings of depression (I was on Paxil but the doctors put me on that for Irritable Bowel Syndrome along with other meds to help my stress and nerves but I stopped all of it and started trying to just eat healthy and take better care of my self) I would go the a therapist myself not just my daughters bi-weekly appointments. So I can get some feedback on my feelings and I would love to here from any of you!

Have a Wonderfull Weekend!

[CarrieAnn8]

its great to see everyone getting together here.

I have always had Anxiety and Depression. I had my first nervous breakdown at 18. I know i had many mini ones beofre and after but that one was the biggie. From then on I was told by my dad and step mother to get on with life and grow up. That i dont need meds...etc. Well its funny how things turn around. See i have always been the family "outcast" cuase of my problems. It turns out that the big family secret is that my aunt, dad, and grandmother all have bad anxiety. My dad is having problems pretty bad with anxiety and its causeing him some heart trouble when he gets the panic attacks. Well isnt my step mother on the phone to me yesterday asking me which kind of med is best. Her asking me!!!!!!! i couldnt belive it. It was like they were saying "Hey Carrie-Ann had the right idea all along"

The funny thing was anything she asked about, prozac, valium, antianxiety.....whatever....i had some or at least some left overs in my cupboard.

Hugs to everyone and great meeting you all

Carrie-Ann

[jmary]

I could really identify with your position. The same thing happened in my family although they are all in the UK. I found my temperament more suited to the USA's open society. In my family I was always wrong, wrong, wrong.

I was brought to the USA by my first husband who dumped me here one year later when I had the audacity to produce his child. Long and awful story, but my family wanted nothing to do with me. My mother had died while I was pregnant. "You've made your bed, you lie in it." was their response to my plight.

Well, thank God I did. I have been blessed with a strong faith and a healthy opinion of myself - now I'm 55. It was hard won, but worth all the trials.

Now I have a home in the UK near my brother, I find all their superiority a cover for their inability to deal with, or understand situations in their own lives. I don't say much, but I've had the sweet experience of hearing a family member quoting an observation I've shared with them. They treat me entirely differently now.

I think you're coming into that experience. Our navigation of our life experience becomes a strength to us. We have more insight than those who've never faced inward difficulty. Carefully choose your responses. Only share the things you know for sure to be true. Retain your credibility with them, and you will really enjoy being able to empathise. The rewards will ironically make YOU weller and stronger.

All the best.

You go girl.

J-Mary

[Lessara]

Hmmm I wonder if he watched a romantic movie or a comedy? ;)

As for the others: I share your pain! I'm 37 and I have been raised that my anxiety was something that I should have controlled but was too "weak" to. :rolleyes:
What's harder is that attitudes have changed and yet we all keep that record playing over and over from our past. Again :rolleyes:

Last night I couldn't go to sleep. I was worried about work. I mean how do I deal with people who say "Just deal with it?"
I did take one step toward understanding. I am currently reading 'Venus and Mars in the Workplace' by John Gray. The intro and the 1st chapter really opened my eyes.
Here's an example:
When an engineer rides on someone about their work.
To women it is unfair and shows how caulous the engineer was.
To men shows how forward and focused the engineer was.

Ok here's another:
When a man grumbles, women think they are complaining. To the man, he's thinking.
When a woman grumbles, men think they are unable to solve the problem. To the woman, it brainstorming.

I'm finding that today, I'm not taking so much personally like I did last week. I mean, how was I suppose to know that when a man teases you (not sexually) its a sign of acceptance not a sign that he doesn't like you! :rolleyes:

I'm doing ok. I had only 4 hours of sleep but I don't need coffee yet :p

[Jerzee]

I am sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time at work. As a fellow anxiety sufferer, I know you do not need another reason to get stressed. We tease each other here at work all the time but you just know when we are serious and when we are just joking around. You should not have to put up with that kind of abuse at your job.


If you need a shoulder to cry on I am here for you.

[Lessara]

Remember you can lean on my shoulder too!

I feel I can laugh at work. The guys thought I had no sense of humor but they just weren't speaking my 'language'. I don't find teasing funny. I do however love engineer jokes!! I mean, I watch Monty Python Movies for goodness sake! :D

How are things going for you, Jersee? I notice a post by you on another board that you don't seem positive about your LCing.
I'm a silly one. I lose weight in chunks (I like to think of it that way) if I lose only 1 lb, I'm shocked (more likely not to believe).
But I go weeks without a single pound lossed.

So what movie did you watch? ;)

[LiLMoMMa]

Hello

I am new here and will be starting LCing tomorrow, I have read the messages on here and they are very helpful. I have a big problem with food and I am not a shame to say that I am an over eater. I been reading alot about atkins and his books and I relate to the sugar/food addiction. But my problem goes deeper and way back to high school, I have been yo yoing for years now and I know I am damaging my body. :(
I am going to take it one day at a time and plan my meals ahead and not cave into my emotions cause that's what leads me to overeat. I am attending overeater anonymous meeting and LCing, If I keep this up I know I will get to my ideal weight and keep it off. I hope to get support from all of you and hope to give back support. :D
Well everyone, have a good day! :roll:

[Lessara]

I'll support you with what I can. You can count on it!
One thing I will have issue on is if you try to hurt yourself mentally or physically. Just Remember:
You are Your Ally Always.

I started dancing in my living room again. I haven't done this is so long! (a year or two). It makes me feel happy. I'm a closet dancer but last night, for whatever reason, I danced with my roommate in the next room. He was about to go to the kitchen and saw me, (I didn't see him, if I did I would have stopped!). He told me that he had no idea I could dance so well. He called me exciting.
(I shivered as I stood beet red) I never thought I could dance.
Now I don't feel so scared about going to a banquet I have to go to. This is a good thing ;)

How many things have I not done because I thought I was bad at it? Am I accurate about myself? Just pondering.

I think I'm going to try something I've been wanting to try but too afraid to do on a weekly basis. It really pumps you up in the ego department... as well in your own good feelings!
Take Care!

[shawj11]

I am right there with all of you...i tend to suffer from SEVERE depression....since i have been on low carb, i was amazed at how much better my mental state has been...but the last few days, i see/feel it coming back. its good to know there are other s here.
:(

[Lessara]

As all of you have felt over the years, Anxiety and Depression is like a rollercoaster ride of highs and lows. Sometimes we need to have an emergency pack when things are going sour. I like to read jokes (Thanks John and W...oh my gosh I forgot his name!!)
I also believe it or not, keep coloring books and markers. Yep, I color when I'm upset :p
Buy some pencil puzzles, or a book, or a craft kit. Have a bag for a personal spa day. I remember my mother had a rainy day envelope of money in her dresser. Little did I know that rainy day's didn't nessicarily mean percipitation outside ;)
I mention this because I used to make myself feel better (Well sort of) by eating. I must of downed many pints of Ben and Jerry's as tears fell. Lets face it old habits die hard!
So That's why I am teaching my 7 Ps of life:

Prior Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance.

[CarrieAnn8]

I get anxiety when i try to plan stuff.....lol I end up sitting on my butt waiting for the world to fall in. Then i get so far behind on stuff i have a panic attack, shut down and go comatose like for a week. Now if i would just do as im supossed to do i wouldnt get like that. Why dont i, cuase i never have.

Now Carrie-Ann is done babbeling.. :lol: As you might can tell i have just come off a comatose week and i can actually think again. Not quite clear yet but hey its possible.

Carrie-Ann

[Lea Slade]

Hi, I have just opened up this page and was drawn to this topic. I have been trying to low carb and initially lost weight, however, my emotions seem uncontrollable - I eat when I'm sad, depressed, happy, angry. My moods seem to swing, but I am generally unhappy with my body, my life and my marriage. I'm lost. Maybe talking to others who have felt the same at times will help. :wave:

[Lessara]

Hows this for optamism ;)

I couldn't sleep last night so I finished my book and gave my mind to thought. I've come to the conclusion that just because I am not ready for love doesn't mean I will never be. I feel so much closer to it but I'm not quite there yet. :rolleyes:
I have to be patient. I only hope the ones who love me are patient too. :p

[j. mcadams]

LESSERA, I think this is a wonderful site you have developed I can see you have a great "nack" for listening and trying to help. Keep up the good work. Joan :thup:

[TeresaL]

Oh my word,
Am I so thrilled to find this site?
I am a new person, just signed up today,led to this site from a friend who is doing Atkins and we struck up a conversation at an event our children were participating in.
I have struggled with depression off and on for years, coming out of a particularly black time last year. I am making some active choices for health, eating mostly LC, focus on the Somersize plan when I can. Noticing some crummy side effects of the sugar I insist on keeping(slamming headaches when I least expect them) and added an exercise plan that is helping a lot.
I just wanted to throw out a great thank you for having this link, with the LC eating and depression.
thank you, thank you for starting this site.
Teresa :wave:

[Lessara]

I wish I didn't worry.

Sounds so simple doesn't it? Anxiety has so many faces.
It could be worried that I'm not Lcing right or that someone may be annoyed with me or that nice guy might *Oh my God!* LIKE me! (What ever shall I do??)
It could be restlessness. Like you forgot something or you are fustrated about work or family or friends.
It could be fear, Example like what I wrote above, "What ever shall I do!" "What if I lose him?" What if she finds out?"

When each of these faces appear. I have to take a deep breath and check behind the disguise to see it for what it really is.
Each face seems so real and so dynamic! But they aren't. Its your normal emotions times 10 isn't it?

Sometimes just understanding that its your anxiety or depression that are causing these feelings. Then you drag out your emergancy care kit and try to calm yourself down. Try roleplaying that you have no emotions (I know, ya right!) or roleplay that you are helping a friend out. Write it down, act it out. Any way you can. Ask a friend to be the Devil Avocate. (I like to think Guardian Angel) :p

That's why we are here, to help.
Although, Don't you wish you just didn't worry? :rolleyes:

[TeresaL]

I am wondering what kinds of things you all do to deal with your depression on a day to day basis?
I am exercising and also trying to stick with a LC food plan, but I fall off the wagon and get back into eating sugar which gives me terrible headaches and hangovers the next day.
What is your experience with ongoing therapy or not?
I see my therapist only once a month and sometimes wish it was more than that, but I want to try to deal with things in a lifestyle management way.
Also, how do you communicate what is happening with you to others in a way they understand and dont think youre over the edge all the time? My depression is like a wet blanket I have to wear and its just harder to function and do the basics sometimes and its hard for me to explain what that feels like to folks who dont get depressed!
Any input you all have would be most appreciated!

[Lessara]

My depression is very mild compared to my anxiety.
When I'm down I act like a robot as unemotional as I can.
(Which is probably why my fellow male workers around here like me best then) :rolleyes:
I try and focus on tasks at hand. Though I know from previous experience that I need to list my tasks out during these days.
For over all balance, I dance and do stretch exercises. I try to do one 'me' activity everyday. So far this has kept my depression under control. I will say this: LCing has reduced my depression significantly! :cool:
I feel more alive.

[Lessara]

I feel absolutely silly.
I've been talking to a friend for a few weeks and just because
I haven't heard from him in a little while I'm sad.
I miss him!
Don't you hate it when your anxiety makes you feel insecure?!
Grrrr! :(
I'm feeling alittle guilty because I'm sitting here drinkng a large glass of ice coffee with cream and almond extract.
And I was telling a friend awhle ago that drinking beer when you
are down was wrong?! Am I a hypocrate or what?!

[fiona]

There is nothing wrong with feeling sad and vulnerable. It is a natural human feeling. It is when we supress such feelings that it turns into depression.

How about turning it around and saying Thank You dear friend for all the wonderful chats we have had recently. I understand you may be busy and I miss our chats but I am grateful for what we had for the time that we had it.

Or you could be really brave and CALL HIM instead of waiting for him to call you? Could be he is down about something and needs cheering up?

Take care.

[Lessara]

Oh you are so wonderful! Thank you!
I am so thankful for the chats he and I had!
He's helped me sort through my mind, and he didn't
even know it. I will always be grateful for it. :rose: