I Feel Like I'm Starting All Over Again

[2007]

At this point in my journey, funny, but I feel happy and sad at the same time. Is this normal? I'm happy because I lost 50 lbs and that's great, but I feel sad too because I feel like I'm just starting all over again because I have another 50 lbs to lose. More than that actually, but I'm taking this in 50 lb increments. Strange emotions going on here. I feel like I've only just begun, but I know I'd better let that destructive emotion go away quick. I don't want it to get the best of me. Also, I've hurt my knee pretty badly so I can't walk anymore like I was and it's affected my swimming too. My knee has gotten to the point where it will lock up. It's been 4 weeks now and I thought it was going to get better, but it has gotten worse so that makes me sad that I can't workout like I was. I know it's time to get my tail to the doctor.

On a brighter note, I've decided to move from OWL back to the Induction stage and look at it as a new beginning, a rebirth, and just start refreshed...renewed.

I feel like I'm at the point where I need to tighten my buckle and get on with this instead of mourning to much about how much further I have to go and not being able to workout. I want to make sure I maintain the same gusto as I had when I first started which is a bit challenging right now because of the knee injury. I know I need to be on these boards more because that how I was in the beginning and that worked for me.

Lately, I've been so busy with my new contract and just life period that I just haven't had much time to post, but I do read and participate here when I can because it's what keeps me going. Anyway, guess I could have posted this in my journal, but I feel like I really need support at this point in my journey so if you have any encouraging words I sure would appreciate 'em.

Thanks! :thup:

Dive deeply into who you really are, and have the courage to explore your most treasured dreams. Keep yourself connected to those dreams, and they will play out upon the stage of your life. ~ Ralph Marston
http://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r238/AussieTPP/Animated%20Stuff/3cf61eba-1.gif
Delight yourself in the Lord and He will grant you the desires of you heart ~Psalms 37:4

[katwoman]

Hey girl, wish I had some real words of wisdom to help you, but all I really have is a listening ear--and a world of sympathy for that knee injury. You're right, after 4 weeks it's time to see the doctor.

I love walking too and would hate to give it up even temporarily, but if you can't do that right now, perhaps it's time to look into some things you can do upper body until the knee is healed. You might find something you really enjoy. Hard as the knee injury is, it could end up being one of those "all things work together" situations and you might find an exercise plan you really love.

[leshabar]

yeah I thought the same - how about abs, back, waist, toning your arms, all that needs doing too!
pretty debilitating though having something sore, I hope it feels better soon.
What a great thing to lose 50 pounds. That's the legal limit you can safely ask someone to lift here, or 25 kilos - 55 pounds really - it's a lot to have let go. you are really looking after yourself so well.
About your knee, I always found a sports physio is the best person to ask about this type of thing.

[pennink]

Have you thought about some small rewards for some milestones? there was a thread once about rewards for levels. I loved that thread!!!

I also suggest (if time allows) you can join at least one challenge, like the 10 pound one. It REALLY helps eat away at the journey.

I do hear you, though. I took a break after 50 (and regret it). Congrats on 50 down... go try to pick up a bag of cement that's 50 pounds and think about what you've accomplished. After your back is better... buy yourself something wonderful or go have a pedicure.

[callmedoc]

Wow! You lost 50lbs! Congratulations! You are half way there! Just think, when you first started, you had 100 to go, not just 50, and you had the courage to take that step. That's very encouraging!!! I know I am encouraged by your success!!

~Doc

[Judynyc]

I needed to look at it in 10 lbs at a time only...it was too much to think of the big numbers......50 down...next 10!!! :agree: :thup: :D

Go 2007!!!:hyper:

[diemde]

No real words of wisdom, but wanted to share my outlook with you. I don't use rewards and don't set interim goals. I simply eat for the weight I want to be. Having lots of fat melt away is the end result, but in my head, I'm eating the way I will eat for the rest of my life.

I do pay attention when weight loss slows down, make an adjustment or 2, but then just continue on eating like I am going to forever. It's for life, so there is no longer a beginning or ending!

And when I reach a point where I'm comfortable with my weight, then I'll add a few more healthy foods to stablize and maintain... but still go on eating this way.

[kathleen24]

I"m like Dianne--rewards mess up my way of thinking--especially the time I rewarded myself for getting under 200 w/Ross chocolate--what WAS I thinking!!??

Anyway as for the rest of it, it's so normal that a name bubbled up the last time I was posting about it--I called it having the tweeners--you're betwixt and between, no longer fat but not yet thin, seems like you've got forever to go, and starting to obsess about all the trials and tribulations that await you down the road--loose skin, wasted years, yadda. It's almost like on a certain level you have to grieve your lost sense of who you are--even though you didn't want to be that way, it was still the only you you'd known in awhile--before you can go on.

The tweeners pass, and you grow a little wiser from the experience, and that's about the best thing I can say about them.

Once I posted about how I felt, I was surprised by how many people chimed in and said, "Me too!"



The thing that helped me was realizing it's not

[Cathy B.]

I simply eat for the weight I want to be.

My God, Dianne. That is BRILLIANT! How did you get so smart about all this stuff?

Cathy

[2007]

I also suggest (if time allows) you can join at least one challenge, like the 10 pound one. It REALLY helps eat away at the journey.
.

Yeah, I thought about that too, so I joined the July 4th Challenge. :thup:

I simply eat for the weight I want to be. Having lots of fat melt away is the end result, but in my head, I'm eating the way I will eat for the rest of my life.



I agree. This is the way I will be eating for the rest of my life. That’s why I’ve made the decision to move back to the Induction stage; time to make some adjustments and tweak my eating patterns. Nothing changes so far as LC, but if I want my rate of loss to mimic the beginning of my journey then it’s time for some tweakin’. :thup:

I needed to look at it in 10 lbs at a time only...it was too much to think of the big numbers......50 down...next 10!!! :agree: :thup: :D

Go 2007!!!:hyper:

Yep. You’re right. 10 lb increments is a much better way to look at it and I have been. I guess it’s just because I’ve reached a milestone mark that it makes me take stock of reality and the road ahead. :D



Anyway as for the rest of it, it's so normal that a name bubbled up the last time I was posting about it--I called it having the tweeners--you're betwixt and between, no longer fat but not yet thin, seems like you've got forever to go

and starting to obsess about all the trials and tribulations that await you down the road--loose skin, wasted years, yadda.

It's almost like on a certain level you have to grieve your lost sense of who you are--even though you didn't want to be that way, it was still the only you you'd known in awhile--before you can go on.

The tweeners pass, and you grow a little wiser from the experience, and that's about the best thing I can say about them.

Once I posted about how I felt, I was surprised by how many people chimed in and said, "Me too!"





Kathleen your funny. The tweeners? That’s cute and so true, but I don’t know about that obsessing part, guess I haven’t got to that tweener stage yet.

I can understand the grieving process though. As an example, last night my honey found an old pair of my pants and when he opened them up I felt a sense of loss, pain, and embarrassment; they look so humongous. It was though reality slap me in the face because I just couldn’t believe that I was that large.

Well I’m gonna try to keep up with my swimming once in awhile if I can. I will just use my arms moreso than my legs and I’ll be setting up that appointment with the Sports Dr. real soon. :thup:

Thanks everybody for your feedback. It's much appreciated. :D

Dive deeply into who you really are, and have the courage to explore your most treasured dreams. Keep yourself connected to those dreams, and they will play out upon the stage of your life. ~ Ralph Marston
http://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r238/AussieTPP/Animated%20Stuff/3cf61eba-1.gif
Delight yourself in the Lord and He will grant you the desires of you heart ~Psalms 37:4

[CNYMom]

I agree with taking things in 10-pound increments. It makes things much more attainable. Sometimes my self-rewards are big (got my hair highlighted, for example), and sometimes they're not (when I break into the 150s I'm going to buy a container of Sebastian hairspray, which I love, but won't normally pay for) but they're all things that make me feel good.

When I really need a lift, I pick up my daughter, who happens to weigh about 50 pounds. I've lost her, and a gallon of milk besides. That to me is completely mind-boggling.

Good luck! This is definitely a tough part of our journey. The enthusiasm has waned, but the end is not yet in sight. So, I just look at the next 10 pounds.

[OtherCher2]

Dianne,
You summed up my WOL for me! Thank you, you are truly an inspiration to me. When I started this journey (14 months ago) I knew I was here for the rest of my life. This is the second time in the past 26 years that I will have lost over 100 lbs. The difference this time is that I don't have an end in sight; this is my WOL for the rest of my life. It's a good thing that I enjoy LCing!

[2007]

http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e347/islandgirllove2fete/LikeWaterforChocolatebySueWalsh.jpg

I just wanted to comment about Rewards.

Although I will sometimes purchase a Summer Dress or two as a reward, I find that I don't have to "buy" rewards to make myself feel better or special unless, of course, I choose to because the rewards come naturally.

Buying a new dress, getting my hair/nails done is great, or purchasing a beautiful vase of flowers because I'm/your all that and a bag of chips is really cool, but the natural rewards are the best.

Like being able to fit in the movie theatre chair or a restaurant booth comfortably and having room to spare, catching your significant other staring at you because you're looking more beautiful each day (I could go on and on with the benefits of LC). Man! That's the best!

I tell ya' LC Rocks Totally!http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e347/islandgirllove2fete/animatedtribalfusion-2.gif

http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e347/islandgirllove2fete/atkins.jpg

Dive deeply into who you really are, and have the courage to explore your most treasured dreams. Keep yourself connected to those dreams, and they will play out upon the stage of your life. ~ Ralph Marston
http://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r238/AussieTPP/Animated%20Stuff/3cf61eba-1.gif
Delight yourself in the Lord and He will grant you the desires of you heart ~Psalms 37:4

[Jiggerz]

I agree with Judy, 10 pounds at a time.....

[leshabar]

Those flowers are really beautiful. Now that's a good reward - I seldom buy flowers these days. I do need a little reward some days if I've met a difficult challenge of some type which has nothing to do with food. But I'm can't remember anymore how to celebrate without food or drink .... flowers might be an idea.
pedicures and hair and things take too long to set up - good for long term achievments, but not for instant little rewards at the end of a long day. Bath things maybe - nice sensual things apart from the sense of taste could help to change the habit. I guess books, music, movies, swimming - there are lots of fun and delicious things..........
sorry slightly off topic.
Dianne that was a very illuminating comment. I have to think about it - it sounds like a winning attitude.
oh yeah btw 2007, I meant that sometimes a sports physiotherapist can know about sports injuries and joints and muscles better than a doctor - imho

[Scented1]

Hey there,

You are doing fantastic. I think your idea of switching it up a bit will help a lot!

Hang in there, your ongoing success is an inspiration to me that is for sure!


((((((((hugs)))))))
Here's to a new you!

Rach