Binge Eating and Anxiety

[Seabs]

Hello All,

Here's the thing. I know that I am not super over weight. at 5' 4" I go between 135 and 140 throughout the week. However, I am large chested and clothes don't fit right and after two kids that weight has left my body in less than ideal shape. I do exercise, but I still have a lot of excess fat, and with summer coming I really want to lose weight.

However, I find myself sabatoging my diet every time I start. Even the word diet gives me an anxiety attack. Low carbing is the best for me because I really don't like meat and I am less of a risk of binging...however, this WOE is soooooo hard to stick with.

Also, everytime I do lose a little weight I get an anxiety attack (SERIOUS), what's that about, and find myself overeating.

Any advice? I am strarting again today, and need some inspiration. Thanks.

[Jules555]

I"ve had the same feelings during dieting. I think my issues go back to childhood eating ( not enough food --- anxiety about food ). I just keep trying to work through it. #1 because I'm not willing to spend thousands of dollars in therapy, #2 because I can always have plenty to eat on this diet. I don't have to be HUNGRY. My main problem lately is allowing myself a "treat". And then there's always the bad food someone brings in to work. It's going to be a lifelong battle for me, but some days the scale is very good to me.

[cs_carver]

Low carbing is the best for me because I really don't like meat and I am less of a risk of binging...however, this WOE is soooooo hard to stick with.

Find something that's easier to stick with? There isn't one, for me, but maybe you'd do better with weight watchers or something? Really, you're not supposed to be on a food plan that only works because you don't like the food in the first place.

However, there's a whole 'nother way to read your post, which is that binging is important to you, and maybe you haven't completely come to see that some binging is triggered by binging? If that's the case, then LC can ease the cellular drivers caused by blood sugar fluctuations, and allow you to get some kind of balanced insight into the rest of the issues.

But really--there are 1000 food plans in the world. To keep weight off, we have to find one we can stick with for life. I have had enough of eating food I didn't like in the first place. YMMV.

Also, everytime I do lose a little weight I get an anxiety attack (SERIOUS), what's that about, and find myself overeating.

We really can't tell you what's driving your anxiety about being thinner. There are as many reasons as there are food plans. You do have a choice. Accept your body and the way it is, and don't worry, or decide that it's time to face the anxiety and find someone who can help you work through it. It doesn't sound like sitting squarely on the fence, not liking your body and being cluefree about the anxiety, is a very fun way to live, but again, that's a choice, too.

Any advice? I am starting again today, and need some inspiration. Thanks.

LC plans will help people lose weight. If losing weight were easy, we'd all be thin. For a few (lucky?) people, it's just about the food. The rest of us have a whole lot more to deal with along the way.

Good luck.

[kittymac]

(((HUGS)))
I can totally relate. I keep sabotaging myself, and actually have panic attacks when I think about being thin again.
For me, it's because of a childhood history of sexual abuse. I was also very promiscuous as a teenager, and really didn't like myself a whole lot.
I think the weight for me is a shield. As long as I am chubby, people won't notice me.
Maybe try getting to the root of your self sabotage and anxiety.
And stick with it. :)
We're here for you.

[hot-blonde]

hello "Seabs".
this is a painful, complex and delicate issues.
i have experienced the very same thing, that is, each time i go on i diet i lose some weight and i sabotage myself, literally panicking, and put it back on.
except one time where i went on pills (that, because i did not have to make any effort on my own, so it wasnt really MY weight loss).
i dont know what is triggering your "sabotage reaction".
mine was the following thoughts:
a) being attractive and caring about these things is for superficial women
b) i like myself better curvy
on a deeper level:
c) i am afraid of becoming hot and sexy
d) i am afraid of my beauty
e) what when men will be attracted to me?

ultimately

f) when i am thin i have no more excueses for unhappyness. so i was ultimately afraid of happyness.

this is a very semplified version of the discoveries.
i hope it can be useful for you too.

keep in touch, and write at my private email address if you want

[CNYMom]

I can totally relate to your list, except for this one:

f) when i am thin i have no more excueses for unhappyness. so i was ultimately afraid of happyness.

For me, it's that I'm afraid that even when I'm thin I won't be happy, so without anything else to blame, I will have to accept that the problem lies within me.

I have been thinking about this a lot lately, because I'm starting to reach the point where I'm attracting attention from the opposite sex. It doesn't happen often, and I'm older now so I'm sort of hoping it won't happen often (although I'm learning to deal with occasional) but it always sort of shocks me (and quite frankly sends me into a blind terror) when it does.

For the OP, I wish I had suggestions for you, but I really don't. When I'm on a diet (and the same goes for this WOE), I never cheat. Ever. I don't do it because I know myself, and one little slip becomes completely falling off the wagon (this from experience when I was younger). I make lots of lists, I plan things, I don't eat around other people until I'm comfortable with them (which is rare, and even then only if I'm convinced they're not watching me)... this WOE is, to me, as much an addiction as anything. I just need to handle the attention better, somehow.

Best of luck to you. I know it's not easy.

[ppuffy3859]

Wow, there are some real truths spoken by the other posters that resonate with me! I was recently discussing this subject with my sister. We sort of surmised that there is a fear of being thin with us, b/c like what was said above, people pay a whole lot more attention to you when you're thinner, and some of it can be overwhelming. Also, for me, when I'm big, I'm not just fat, I feel very strong and powerful. For a woman, when there is always a vulnerability of being attacked or hurt, I think it's a defense mechanism to be big. It would be much harder to take me down at this weight than at 150 lbs. I know these thought processes are not always rational, but these are the feelings that I've come in touch with. Also, on a more basic level, it's like "ok, I've reached my weight goal-now what?" If I get to my goal weight, what will I bitch about next :lol: Anyway, it's really interesting and complex, and I'm glad to know that there are others out there who ponder these issues. I do a lot of guided imagery where I imagine myself at my goal weight, strong, healthy and happy. We can do it!

[sugarpill]

ppuffy, how did you get inside my head?

The other day I caught a glimpse of myself in the bathroom at work, and seeing my thinner and more-feminine body just made me feel vulnerable and scared, in an instant, on a really visceral level. It was weird as all get out.

I wasn't sexually abused as a child, but my mom was, and I think she always taught me and my sister that being feminine meant being vulnerable to abuse, and that feminine bodies invite attack. This was just one of her baseline assumptions about how the world works. (Not that she was entirely wrong, either, but it was still screwed up that she spent so much effort making us afraid of our own bodies, and afraid of the world.)

Growing up in a rural town where creeps in pickup trucks felt free to yell at anything with hips didn't help either.

Anyway, I don't have an answer. I just try to pay attention to what I'm feeling, and acknowledge that it may require some bravery to get through this--more than I thought.

[+35-65]

so i was ultimately afraid of happyness.

I totally get this. It's like I'm afraid I will fail at being happy. It's easy to be miserable and bitchy, but for some reason, I see being happy as really hard work. Suddenly people have much higher expectations of me and lean on me for support, when I'm barely able to stand on my own let alone carry their burdens, too. Happy = hard work = risk of failure. And I'm horribly afraid of failure.

[+35-65]

so i was ultimately afraid of happyness.

I totally get this. It's like I'm afraid I will fail at being happy. It's easy to be miserable and bitchy, but for some reason, I see being happy as really hard work. Suddenly people have much higher expectations of me and lean on me for support, when I'm barely able to stand on my own let alone carry their burdens, too. Happy = hard work = risk of failure. And I'm horribly afraid of failure.

[+35-65]

so i was ultimately afraid of happyness.

I totally get this. It's like I'm afraid I will fail at being happy. It's easy to be miserable and bitchy, but for some reason, I see being happy as really hard work. Suddenly people have much higher expectations of me and lean on me for support, when I'm barely able to stand on my own let alone carry their burdens, too. Happy = hard work = risk of failure. And I'm horribly afraid of failure.