Giving up junk food scared me today

[happy07]

This is so weird. Some of my co-workers were talking about ice cream and other crap foods that I love so much.
The thought crossed my mind that, much like a drug addict, I really can never enjoy these foods again. A small taste could trigger another binge which would un-do all the good I'm wanting to do here.

I practically had a panic attack thinking I have to forever give up my drug of choice. It really scared me.

Now, I know that I'm probably over-reacting. There is a good chance that once I make it to my final goal, I'll be able to have the occassional indulgence. Maybe.

It made me realize that as far as the junk food goes, I am an addict. Carbs, in all forms, are the enemy and must be treated as such. There is nothing good about them (except the veggie carbs, of course :yum: ).
Perhaps a good way to think is to remember that this wol really is a recovery program.
(Hi, I'm Jena and I'm a carb addict...)

[TimesTwo]

I apologize in advance if my posting here offends anyone.

I copied the following from my journal, in an entry I wrote about a month and a half ago:

Someone very dear to me is a recovering alcoholic, going to AA meetings. He recently said something regarding alcohol that can be applied to this WOE. "People ask, 'So I can never have another drink for the rest of my life?' No, you just can't have a drink today. And tomorrow you'll wake up and tell yourself the same thing. I can't have a drink today."

Yesterday I thought fretfully about maintenance and said to myself, "I can never have a bowl of macaroni and cheese?" I quickly countered that with, "No, I just can't have it today. And tomorrow and everyday after that, I'll wake up and tell myself the same thing. I can't have it today."Take it one day at a time, or even moment by moment if you have to. :bhug:

[Meggen]

I have had similar thoughts and I just wanna join you in saying...

Hi, I'm Meggen and I'm a carb addict...

But I am working through my 12 steps (ok actually its more like 12k steps with a pedometer :lol: ) and I will get through it with friends like you guys.

:bhug: jena we're all in this together.

[DietMonstr]

I agree, don't let it scare you, it's NOT for the rest of yor life. You can have all the things you love, just modified versions once you hit the maintenence stage. And I promise you, once you make this a WOL, it gets easier, I've put things in my mouth that I used to love, and have spit it out because I find its just not WORTH it- it doesnt taste THAT darn good. Remember- "Eat to live, don't live to eat"
and
"Nothing tastes as good as thin feels"

[elhill]

"Nothing tastes as good as thin feels"

I LOVE THAT!!!!! IT IS SO TRUE!!! I think it will get me through cravings and temptations!

[Merrydeath]

I use the day-by-day approach, though I didn't know that this is how folks working through AA try to view it :D

In the meantime, I look fondly at the healthier-for-me treats that my co-workers don't see when they pity me for snubbing the doughnuts (grin). They don't see my cream-cheese mock danishes. They don't see me whipping up some whupped cream with cocoa powder & cinnamon...and then licking the spoon!

I tell you...what other "diet" lets you eat the whipped cream topping and shove aside the cake? :lol:

We'll not even mention my love affair with the evil cheese, Brie... :yum:

[Greenwitch]

I absolutely look at this like an addiction as well. Day by day. And if I plan to up my carbs for a day (like I did yesterday) I have to seriously plan it out and then force myself back on track. I'm in fat-butt-recovery! :)

[saucywench]

Interesting thread....when I first started I plotted endlessly about how soon I was going to be able to eat forbidden foods..how could I sneak them in to this WOL, I spent endless hours drooling over french fries and chocolate bars....Then as I went along and my cravings for those foods went away I began to realize that food was losing its power over me and I also realized how many d**m hours of my life I had spent thinking about foods and when I was going to be able to eat again and then I realized that Nothing, NOTHING in this world tastes so good that I would give it power to control me again (I can only admit this here and I'm really ashamed of this...but at the height of my food frenzy days I would drive through two seperate drive thru's ( McD's and Burger King etc..so I could have enough feed my craving without letting others see my glutony cause if I didnt do that then the drive through person might wonder why one person was eating 4 burger and 3 large fries...Now all of this thinking did come from a carbed up mind so if it sounds wacky thats why..I promise I am not that paranoid anymore!!)

I have also realized that this is the difference between those of us who are overweight because of a carb addiction and those who are thin and dont have that problem...People who are not effected by carbs do not live to eat..they eat to live..but for people like me I lived to eat...

So the point of my ramble is this.....It may look scary now but each day further into this WOL changes you and your attitudes towards many things for the better and I do not believe I am alone in this being my experience with this WOL...Keep going and you will be amazed how in just a month how much different you feel at the thought of not eating mac and cheese etc!!

[kathleen24]

I'm about 4 days further down the road and the fear is starting to fade, replaced by a feeling of --eww---eat that!?

What helped me get started was that I took measurements and weighed myself--that's my signal to myself that I really want to be held accountable. You might give it a try.

[ldypgmr]

You know there are good days and there are bad days. Yesterday was a bad day. When all around you are nothing BUT your favorite high carb foods... and everyone is eating... a couple of people are begging you... oh just one.... and you are at a low point and close to tears.... it's a bad day...

Then there are the terrific days, when it all just rolls off you and you take pure pleasure in your co !

[SRabbit]

There are high carb foods and high carb foods---as you get into maintenance and learn the level of carbs your body can handle, there are foods you will add in; like potatoes for instance, that you can't have now.

So not everything will be given up forever---it can be self defeating to think that way. I am choosing not to eat high carb foods because I want to achieve something; I'm not giving them up---I'm choosing something else. When I look at it that way it is a positive choice and I am not being deprived...

Being a carb addict is different than being an alcoholic I think----as the time will come later on that you may be able to add foods back in-in moderation of course--knowing what you can handle and what not..

Good Luck!

[kwikdriver]

The question I have answered for myself -- and the answer might be different for you, I have no way of knowing -- is this: did eating that stuff make me happy in any way, shape, or form? The answer is, it didn't.

And after some time, you stop thinking about junk food. At least I did. There are foods I eat and foods I don't (it's been over two years since I've eaten anything with more than trace amounts of grains or refined sugars), and if I find myself around foods I don't eat and I feel the slightest urge to try something, the memory of what life was like in the bad old days is all it takes to kill that urge. There are lots of foods I eat that I really enjoy, and the quality of my life now is so much greater than it used to be that I'm happy I have the choice not to eat the junk.

One other thing I think about is what a joy it is to be able to feel full. Not the way I used to, when a typical meal might have been 3000 calories of junk that left me too stuffed to eat any more, but wanting to anyway. Now, I just feel sated by a normal amount of food. It's a great feeling to me, and I don't want to experience the out-of-control eating that I used to ever again. Life as a recovering carb addict has more rewards than life as a practicing carb addict. Again, at least for me it does.

[happy07]

One day at a time, one craving at a time, one small step at a time... :agree:

Probably, some day in the future, it will be ok and managable to have little bits of high carb foods. For now, I just can't think that way. Junk food has to be off-limits forever. I have to think of those foods as poisonous enemies that are detremental to my survival.

The little light bulb popped on in my mind and it was almost like having my best friend say they didn't want to see me anymore.
It was the thought of not having my best friend in my life anymore that scared me.

[saucywench]

and everyone is eating... a couple of people are begging you... oh just one.

Why do so many people do this?? Even when they know that you are trying to change your WOL?? Why do we equate food with love?? Why do people try to sabatoge us?? Just some random thoughts on food and relationships

[joylorene]

The question I have answered for myself -- and the answer might be different for you, I have no way of knowing -- is this: did eating that stuff make me happy in any way, shape, or form? The answer is, it didn't.



One other thing I think about is what a joy it is to be able to feel full. Not the way I used to, when a typical meal might have been 3000 calories of junk that left me too stuffed to eat any more, but wanting to anyway. Now, I just feel sated by a normal amount of food. It's a great feeling to me, and I don't want to experience the out-of-control eating that I used to ever again. Life as a recovering carb addict has more rewards than life as a practicing carb addict. Again, at least for me it does.

I have to remember that feeling when I have the urge - I hate that feeling of never being full when I binge the constant thoughts of food and the need to have abnormal amounts of junk!! It's crazy - when I binge it's like my mind has turned off and I don't realize all that I'm eating until of course after then the guilt sets in!! So not worth it! LC eating has given me the freedom of actually being FULL!

[ldypgmr]

Why do so many people do this?? Even when they know that you are trying to change your WOL?? Why do we equate food with love?? Why do people try to sabatoge us?? Just some random thoughts on food and relationships


Yes!!! It is bad enough with the food calls out my name! Dee.. Oh Dee... here I am .... come eat me!!! Make me gone!!! ..... without people doing the same thing..... :lol: :lol:

[Kandra]

Ohmygosh Saucywench I totally relate to your carbed-up food frenzy, only I'd buy two sodas to make it look like I was ordering for two people! :lol: Sometimes I'd eat until I couldn't really taste it anymore, but craved more of the sugar or carby stuff so I would keep eating. Until I am where I am now, with my weight it is like I am carrying around an extra 1 and 1/3 people.

I have known that refined grains/high carbs and sugar is an addiction with me and have struggled with it for years. I also know that I can't have 'one' cookie cuz for me that opens the floodgates of that addiction all over again. I don't experience that craving like I did before I started LC. Also, the first few days of induction was hell for me and I really do not want to experience that again. LC is the only WOE that seems to really address the addictive nature of carbs so I know that I must make it my WOL. I've read so many success stories here and been motivated here like no where else. I think that all of us are going to reach our goals. I'm giving it my best.

[happy07]

the first few days of induction was hell for me and I really do not want to experience that again. LC is the only WOE that seems to really address the addictive nature of carbs so I know that I must make it my WOL.

I agree Kandra. These first few days are pure hell! It seems like I am constantly jonesing for some carbs...a piece of bread, a donut, some crackers. Any damn thing "to get me through". I've been very good and not caved in. Even in the face of taco bell and my family eating pasta, I've been able to stay low carb. Sometimes that means just grazing on whatever lc snacks I can find in the fridge.

I really don't want to have to repeat this feeling. I know that someday the cravings will be a thing of the past. I just wish that someday were today.

[kathleen24]

What a great thread! This has been so helpful for me--I am going through detox week, and those first two days are not a place I would want to revisit. I feel fortunate to have made it through them. I experienced exactly what kwikdriver was talking about today--being hungry (remember hungry?) and making a gorgeous salad, almost quivering like a dog as I made it (so okay, it was 2 p.m. and I was eating for the first time today) but man, I enjoyed that salad, and then I was full. You know what's scary for me? Stopping eating when I'm full. How weird is that? I want to learn to feel again what it's like to give my stomach time to empty out between meals, to be hungry each time I eat.

I read a success story that I loved--it seemed this woman had gone through exactly the kinds of changes that I am seeing in other's posts, and finding in my head. She wasn't beating herself up to get thin, exercise, etc--she just started paying attention to her body's signals. She said she had begun to give herself permission to eat until she was satisfied--and not one bite more. Isn't that a wild concept--to give yourself permission not to overeat? To say, that's okay, you don't have to?

Honest, this thread is so descriptive of what I've been doing--eating and not finding a stopping place--unable to tell when I'm full. So good that today didn't have to be like that.

[Kandra]

I agree Kandra. These first few days are pure hell! It seems like I am constantly jonesing for some carbs...a piece of bread, a donut, some crackers. Any damn thing "to get me through". I've been very good and not caved in. Even in the face of taco bell and my family eating pasta, I've been able to stay low carb. Sometimes that means just grazing on whatever lc snacks I can find in the fridge.

I really don't want to have to repeat this feeling. I know that someday the cravings will be a thing of the past. I just wish that someday were today.
Man that keeps me from that 'oh just one bite, cookie, snack whatever'. I don't want to go through the withdrawls again. They were very intense for me.
Happy07 one thing that I've learned is that those cravings won't be as strong the longer you stay away from carbs. It's like part of our mind trys to trick us into thinking eating that carby thing will satisfy the craving. But it only feeds the addiction and we end up wanting more and more.

It helped me to have lots and lots of legal LC snacks, meals, all kinds of LC food. During induction when you're going through those intense cravings grabbing a healthy snack can end cravings.

[happy07]

What a great thread! This has been so helpful for me--I am going through detox week, and those first two days are not a place I would want to revisit. I feel fortunate to have made it through them. I experienced exactly what kwikdriver was talking about today--being hungry (remember hungry?) and making a gorgeous salad, almost quivering like a dog as I made it (so okay, it was 2 p.m. and I was eating for the first time today) but man, I enjoyed that salad, and then I was full. You know what's scary for me? Stopping eating when I'm full. How weird is that? I want to learn to feel again what it's like to give my stomach time to empty out between meals, to be hungry each time I eat.

I read a success story that I loved--it seemed this woman had gone through exactly the kinds of changes that I am seeing in other's posts, and finding in my head. She wasn't beating herself up to get thin, exercise, etc--she just started paying attention to her body's signals. She said she had begun to give herself permission to eat until she was satisfied--and not one bite more. Isn't that a wild concept--to give yourself permission not to overeat? To say, that's okay, you don't have to?

Honest, this thread is so descriptive of what I've been doing--eating and not finding a stopping place--unable to tell when I'm full. So good that today didn't have to be like that.

Remember hungry?? Dang, Kathleen...I haven't been hungry in a week, since I started serious induction. It's interesting that you mention not overeating, cause it made me realize that for the first time in a looooong time, I'm not overly hungry so I am just eating to the point of being satisfied. And not even thinking about it.
The higher protein keeps my tummy happy for a longer period of time so that now I have to actually, sometimes, force myself to eat something. I do remember that the last time I lc'd...a few times I almost fainted and had to try to figure out when I ate last. A few times that was 24 hours. I'm trying to be very good and not allow myself to fall into the "I forgot to eat again" trap.
In fact, at the time, it was something for me to be proud of. The whole idea of being able to claim that "it's not eating too much that causes me to be fat 'cause see, I forget to eat". Stupid, but it made me feel better at the time. Yeah, that was just before being diagnosed as pre-diabetic.

Kandra...right, you are that having the lc foods and snacks are a big help. Even though I'm not really hungry, those dang carb monsters are on my back and the only thing to do is eat something lc. It also helps combat problem above. :lol:

Yesterday DD asked me to make some cupcakes for the holiday. Ok, got thru making them without even licking the spoon. Yea me! Now, they are in the kitchen calling to me. Gonna have to check out the whupped cream receipe.

Ok, just rambling on here...but you did give me something to think about. Thanks