Why did I binge??

[Erin4980]

I'm so confused. It's almost been four months and what happens tonight, I almost put down a 1/2 gallon on no-sugar added icecream and a 1/2 bag of Fritos w/ sourcream? Why did I do that? This wasn't what I would call "cheating" this was binge eating. NOw that I look back it was like I was trying to destroy myself? What causes our binges? I just couldn't let myself stop. And as I was doing it, I knew that I would have immediate regret and guess, what I did. Then why? I'm so upset. Not because I "cheated" but because I let myself get out of control. Well, I guess it could be said that I was in control, but I didn't feel like it. Yah, I stressed out, yah I was watching Britney Spears on TV, but I can't let myself believe that those are the reasons. Moreover, I question how I even let myself get this way (gain the 40 lbs. and not have a perfect body) to begin with.

What's wrong with me,
Erin

[liddle]

Erin,
I know how you feel. The question why you binged cannot be answered by anyone else but you. We all have our own reasons for binging and maybe we share some simularities, but you are the one you need to ask. I know the last time I did it was right after I saw some people I hadn't seen in months. They kept going on and on and on about how different and how "great I look". (I lost 42 pounds since I saw them) As much as I enjoy it, I hate the attention. It's such a double egde sword for me. Being fat, I was more invisable to people. I'm scared of attention. Especially from men. As much as I want to be thin, I'm afraid. I'm loosing the rest of my weight slowly and now I realize that is a good thing. I need the time to figure myself out.

Hope you can figure yourself out,
Heather

[lisaf]

Erin -

There's nothing wrong with you! Its emotional eating and you just need to either decide to move forward (i.e. I've learned my lesson...end of story) or you need to examine why it happened.

I had a nasty bout of emotional eating in December that happened for a couple of reasons:
- I had been doing a lot of pre-Xmas baking and I couldn't handle being deprived of what I was making
- I was taking care of everyone (the baking) and not myself (obviously Ican't bake that much)
- I knew my marriage was ending and cookies sometimes seemed like an answer

Its odd how you feel when you're doing it...its as if there is a rational side of yourself saying "look at this, why are you doing this!" while you just shovel it in.

And you know what? I think the people who go through life never having bouts likethis are probably in the minority!

I don't know if any of this rambling helps...but I wanted you to know that you're not alone!

Lisa

[Karen]

You're not alone.

Were you eating close to the LC edge in the past few days? A lot of artificial sweeteners? Do you have trigger foods? Stuff you can't stop eating if you start?

Were you a binge eater previous to LC?

Under pressure? Lonely? Angry? Tired? Bored?

Pre-menstrual?

A gajillion things can cause it, but the real answer to me is carb or just plain ole food addiction. We can lose weight but still be addicts. Just because our food becomes low carb, it won't change you if you are addicted to food.

I know exactly how you feel. I sometimes can "head it off at the pass" and sometimes I just let my self get sucked into the black hole of carbs. I've sometimes had what I call a binge in slow motion. I'll eat the same bingey low-carb trigger food, day after day. It just prolongs the agony. Ach! The why's don't matter to me anymore. What does, is working on changing the way of thinking that leads to binging or the desire to overeat.

Karen

[LC_Dave]

I read somewhere that the definition of normal eating including overeating at times and slip ups.

What you did was not Binge eating. Binge eating is a lot more serious, and a lot more intense.

Normal people have 'small' binge sessions. Most of the skinny waifs do as well!

Britney Spears? Give her ten years - then see if she keeps that figure!

I've binged before, like you, but I can't say it's a regular problem!

LC_Dave
:roll:

[DWRolfe]

But on the good side...

Erin: Your note touched me. I feel badly for you because it's easy to read how disappointed you are in yourself. But don't let this slip up cloud a few good things....

First, you have done so well thus far. You've lost a good amount of weight andand are very close to your goal weight.

Second, you're talking/writing about what happened. You're not hiding it--you're "owning" your stuff and taking responsibility for your actions.

Third, you've turned to your friends here for support and understanding and you'll see over the new couple of days just how concerned and supportive people can be.

So reflect upon the emotional reasons for the eating. Don't let fear of success overshadow your real goals.

:wave:

[Erin4980]

I'm still at tears just thinking about the whole thing, but it's getting better. What I've noticed recently is that I have kinda gotten over the whole "eating when you're not hungry," but when I start eating I don't want to stop, it's like I'm never getting full...I just wish food was not an issue for me. I wish I could just completely change the attitude I have about it. Yes, the WOL has helped soooo much, but you guys are right - I'm still have an addiction or atleast still look to food for some sort of comfort.

If I didn't have this site, I know I would not have been able to make it through this. My boyfriend noticed that I had finished the sourcream last night and was shocked - he had no idea what I had done, however he did see me crying late last night. I just could tell him what was wrong - I love him, but there's no way he'd understand. When I finally told him that the reason why I was being so introverted (when it came to going to bars, etc) last year was due to my weight and how it made me feel. He was shocked and thought it was the dumbest thing. Moreover when I say that I want to look amzing to him and others, he just sees it as being shallow. I guess in some ways it is, but I'm 21, young and I don't want to look back at 80 and regret how I felt about my 140lb body, there is no need. I want to be able to do whatever I want and not have my weight even end my mind. Id that shallow, I think I just want to be happy and if having my bf think my body is incredible (as well as other things), well then it makes me happy.

Actually, today has been much better, I'm having a low-carb couple over to watch the Super Bowl - I went grocery shopping and made lc chili (which is amazing, 3 carbs a cup), lc wings, lc meatballs, and lc pecan cookies. I love cooking, and it (like cleaning) distracts me from the problems on my mind. That's ironic cooking, distracts me from food - go figure. I know I need to address the issue, but today I really just want to get through the day and be happy.

Thank you everyone,

Erin

[LC Sponge]

Originally posted by Erin4980
Moreover when I say that I want to look amzing to him and others, he just sees it as being shallow. I guess in some ways it is...Erin No it isn't. Tell your boyfriend that anything you want isn't shallow, it's important. And he needs to recognize that. To HIM it's about how you look, but to you, it means a great deal more. You need to make him understand that.