Woman weighing 42st (588lbs) 'left to die'

[Demi]

Yahoo News
7 March, 2007


Woman weighing 42st 'left to die'

A mother-of-four who weighs 42 stones (588lbs) claims she is being left to die because the NHS will not pay to treat her obesity.

Sharon Mevsimler has been confined 24-hours a day for the past 18 months to one room at her Chelmsford, Essex, house where her husband, Bulent, has given up work as a chef to look after her.

The 37-year-old began comfort eating after suffering from post-natal depression. Her weight ballooned and she has now been told she cannot undergo surgery until she loses at least 12 stones (168lbs).

Mrs Mevsimler has been warned that she could have just months to live unless she takes drastic action as her weight is severely impacting on her heart, and she now requires oxygen to help her breathe.

Four years ago, the NHS paid for her to stay in the exclusive £5000-a-week (US$9600) Priory clinic for three months and she went from 35 stones (490lbs) to 28 stones (392lbs).

However, Mrs Mevsimler claims the weight piled back on after the funding was withdrawn. She has since refused her local health authority's offer of a psychiatric unit to help her lose weight.

She said: "I suffered from postnatal depression and I never got any help or support with it," adding that she has not had any support from her GP or the NHS.

Mr Mevsimler has denied being 'a feeder', someone who deliberately supplies a loved one with an abundant supply of food in order to gain weight.

Although his wife admits to snacking and comfort eating every day as well as a love of takeaways, he said: "I love my wife and I want her to get better and from the NHS, I'd like her to get provisional help, and for her to get better as soon as possible."


http://uk.news.yahoo.com/07032007/397/woman-weighing-42st-die-0.html

[Angeline]

This bring up the question. Just how responsible are we as a society for people who won't help themselves.

[gryfonclaw]

She has since refused her local health authority's offer of a psychiatric unit to help her lose weight.

Why? She suffers from depression, does she not? And she claims her weight gain is a result of her illness, correct?

It looks like the governement is offering her something. Maybe not the best choice, but it might help. How did she regain all that weight after she left that clinic?

Four years ago, the NHS paid for her to stay in the exclusive £5000-a-week (US$9600) Priory clinic for three months and she went from 35 stones (490lbs) to 28 stones (392lbs).

Contradiction.

[Dodger]

It appears to me that she has had lots of offers to help her (and some actual help). She doesn't want help, she wants surgery.

[unitydkn]

it sounds to me by how it is written that she wants what we all want...a magic wand that will keep us skinny and let us eat whatever we want...to lose weight with no effort at all..let someone else do it for us...
we have to be held accountable for what we do and eat..we here have made steps to be held accountable and for that I give everyone here ahttp://bestsmileys.com/cheering/3.gif http://bestsmileys.com/cheering/3.gif http://bestsmileys.com/cheering/3.gif

[2bthinner!]

I have an aunt by marriage who is 700 pounds. One thing that helped her get there was her sisters. They would bring her candy bars while my uncle was working to support her and their kids. My mom and I are going to be going over there to measure her and make some simple clothing as nothing fits. She has now been diagnosed with diabetes. The last two times she went to the hospital, she wore a sheet. Just a sheet. I know we feel helpless. I wish my uncle could have filed a restraining order against her sisters, but then, how do you do that? They are her sisters. She is also on oxygen. It is just so sad. I have already lost one aunt (by blood). She was up to 300+. She died at 52. So unnecessary. My grandmother, her mother, is still alive. And quite well. She's a little overweight, but not so much anymore. She doesn't have anything else wrong with her. She's lost weight in the past five years. I'm more afraid it's a sign of dementia..

[ysabella]

In an odd coincidence, I was at theonion.com today and saw this t-shirt in their store (http://store.theonion.com/product_info.php?products_id=171).

Oddly apropos.

I do think this woman needs help, but...she can't expect the NHS to magically make her problem go away. She will have to put in a lot of effort. She should start with the psychiatric help they are offering.

Huh, I had postpartum (post-natal) depression. It did not make me want to eat lots, but I guess it's not the same for everyone.

And lastly, I got curious as to what kind of name 'Bulent Mevsimler' is, and it looks to be Turkish.

[Demi]

This link: Lose weight or die (http://news.bbc.co.uk/player/nol/newsid_6420000/newsid_6427300/6427373.stm?bw=bb&mp=rm#) should take you to a video news clip of this story from the BBC.

Having see her on the news last night, I'm definitely of the opinion that she doesn't seem to understand that she is the one who ultimately has to take responsibility. Afterall, it doesn't matter how much help is offered, if she's not prepared to make an effort herself, then it's not going to work.

[Nuna]

I dont really know how I feel, I feel sorry for her but then I feel she is also responsible. I think in order to help her she has GOT to make some critical decisions. This should be a turning point for her, and NOT an opportunity to find a new "chef" for her. If she wants to continue with her ways I think she sould not get help or at least limited help...

[ojoj]

At that size, I'm not sure what help anyone, apart from herself and her family can give her!???

Not feeding her anything but a healthy diet would be a good start???

Jo

[LarryAJ]

:idea: Aha :exclm: Here is where the society (actually the government [both in the USA and UK]) ties in.Not feeding her anything but a healthy diet would be a good start???Is there ANYONE reading this forum that believes that the diet espoused by the government(s) is HEALTHY ? :Puke: :skull:

So in that sense society IS responsible for her problem. That still does NOT ABSOLVE her and her husband of their responsibility for the situation!

[ojoj]

:idea: Aha :exclm: Here is where the society (actually the government [both in the USA and UK]) ties in.Is there ANYONE reading this forum that believes that the diet espoused by the government(s) is HEALTHY ? :Puke: :skull:

So in that sense society IS responsible for her problem. That still does NOT ABSOLVE her and her husband of their responsibility for the situation!


To be honest I dont think which "healthy" diet matters at her present weight - 2000 cals, 20carbs... whatever... Just a lot less junk and 5 small portions a day maybe??????? Obviously I think low carbing could possbly sort out her cravings, although I doubt the "experts" will suggest that, but for now - just anything less than she's been eating!!!

[potatofree]

The enabler is often as skilled at denial and deception as the addict.

[kyrasdad]

The enabler is often as skilled at denial and deception as the addict.

Especially in these cases. She is not going to go to buy food on her own. Someone is bringing her food, the wrong kinds, I'd presume, and plenty of it. Not to say that she isn't ultimately the one driving the bus, but she is certainly not being well served by her husband and others in her life. They cannot save her, but they can at least stop being part of the problem.

[potatofree]

Especially in these cases. She is not going to go to buy food on her own. Someone is bringing her food, the wrong kinds, I'd presume, and plenty of it. Not to say that she isn't ultimately the one driving the bus, but she is certainly not being well served by her husband and others in her life. They cannot save her, but they can at least stop being part of the problem.

I've been seeing a lot of programs featuring the super morbidly obese and their family dynamic always interests me. It's a sick kind of tyranny, sometimes disguised as helplessness and guilt, sometimes with an iron fist and the person lashing out and ruling through intimidation and threats. It's clear that the "patient" rules the show, even though they become totally helpless.

From the OUTSIDE, it looks ridiculous. I find myself thinking the "chef" has all the power in the relationship. All they have to do is walk away and leave the person helpless. From the INSIDE, though, dysfunction isn't that easy to crack.

As I remember back, I can see so many areas where my father had lost control of his life right along with his weight. He was The Boss, and my mom and sister ran to serve him and do his bidding. I started out that way, but had JUST enough of a backbone to see the flawed logic that Mom and sis couldn't/wouldn't.

On the other side of the coin, my daughter's best friend's Mom rules with helplessness and manipulation. She could lay on the guilt enough to get her daughter to give up her plans at our house and travel clear across town to get her something out of her car. Once she had her there, she had enough other tasks to keep the kid too busy to come back. She couldn't bring herself to just SAY the kid couldn't come over, but she got her own way in the end. She would be told she had to lose weight or die like 3 other family members did, but she could still lie in bed and through sighs, tears, and tantrums, get her husband to go fetch her whatever she wanted to eat... and he was just enough of a martyr, it seemed he got plenty out of being the victim, too.

There's a lid for every pot, which is the point of my ramble... someone who can be manipulated into the servant role even to the point they get blamed and hated for "letting" the loved one get so fat, need plenty of help themselves. You sure can't just "fix" the patient with surgery without "fixing" all teh people whose lives have become centered on catering to the patient who presents with the problem.

The weight of that woman is a symptom of not only her OWN issues and disease, but that of those around her as well.

[Angeline]

Indeed we tend to forget family dynamics, because hopefully we are not in a controlling relationship.

I guess it's similar to abused women. Seen from the outside, you can't help to wonder why these women do not simply leave. But the reality is never as simple as that.

I guess it's similar. Why don't they just stop the feeder/dependancy cycle. Because it's not as simple as that.

[mer23]

I saw a programme on tv recently about feeders. One of the women featured , I think she was about 700lbs, finally took control and lost weight, in fear that her adopted daughter would be left motherless. The husband/feeder went off her sexually, and it was definitely him that had the problem. I think her fear was that if she died, the husband might start feeding the daughter. Eeuw. :eek: ,

[bsheets]

In an odd coincidence, I was at theonion.com today and saw this t-shirt in their store (http://store.theonion.com/product_info.php?products_id=171).

Oddly apropos.

Slightly off topic but it struck me ... why in the world would anyone wear such a shirt??

e

[potatofree]

So smug people can wear it to poke fun at the funny fat people? <shrug>

[ysabella]

Yeah, I don't really get it either. I'm sure it's some kind of irony, but whose irony?

[potatofree]

I just looked around a bit there. Looks like it's not even the least funny shirt they have. :rolleyes: It's not as bad as tshirthell, though. I like message t-shirts, though, since they do help weed out the morons before you actually have to talk to some of them. ;) If it's a middle-aged man wearing a "Rock Out With Your c*ck Out!" shirt, I know I can safely pass him by.... :help:

[Angeline]

Yeah, I don't really get it either. I'm sure it's some kind of irony, but whose irony?

It's a comment on the lack of personal responsibility that seem so prevalent in today's culture. It's funny because we recognize the truth in it.

That's probably why someone made a t-shirt. But IMO, it doesn't work as a t-shirt. If you are skinny and wear it you are basically making fun of heavy people. If you are heavy, well....I simply can't imagine anyone doing that.

[ysabella]

That's what I meant, Angeline...who is going to wear it? Fat or thin?

For actually funny shirts, I would suggest:

Glarkware (http://glarkware.com/)
Threadless (http://threadless.com/)
And for geekier types,
ThinkGeek (http://www.thinkgeek.com/)
Jinx (http://www.jinx.com/)
I am a geek, so my child has worn onesies from Jinx. ;)

[Demi]

If anyone is interested, Sharon's story has stirred up quite a debate in her local newspaper:

SHARON'S FATE SPARKS GREAT WEIGHT DEBATE (http://www.thisisessex.com/displayNode.jsp?nodeId=170509&command=displayContent&sourceNode=230702&home=yes&more_nodeId1=231015&contentPK=16874961)

[bsheets]

That's what I meant, Angeline...who is going to wear it? Fat or thin?

For actually funny shirts, I would suggest:

Glarkware (http://glarkware.com/)
Threadless (http://threadless.com/)
And for geekier types,
ThinkGeek (http://www.thinkgeek.com/)
Jinx (http://www.jinx.com/)
I am a geek, so my child has worn onesies from Jinx. ;)
Oh I think Threadless is great. Have you seen their latest Fast Food t-shirt??? (http://threadless.com/product/782/Fast_Food_Meal) :D

e

[ysabella]

Good one! :D :D