Top Reasons of why it sux 2 B FAT!

[starchile]

OK, I just have to vent here for a moment.

I need to express some things that embarrass me about being my size. Some of it is my problem but some of the blame goes to our society for not recognizing that not everyone is a size 6 and that PISSES me off!

So here are my top reasons why it Sux to be Fat! What are YOURS???

1. My clothes are WAAAAAYYY more expensive than the smaller sizes. Sure we need more material but $20 worth?

2. Can't fit into some chairs with arms.

3. The thought of having to get on an Airplane is terrifying. "Will I be able to fit in the seat?" "Will I be able to buckle the damned Seatbelt?".

4. Can't go out shopping at the same stores as friends. Have to go to specialty section or specialty stores.

5. Walking past a window or mirror is a harrowing experience.

6. Can't get on Rollercoasters. The embarrassment of the safety bar not fitting over me and having 3 workers trying to push it down is enough to send anyone to a stiff drink and a shotgun!

7. One Word! CELLULITE!

8. Folding laundry in a public place and worrying that everyone will see my big huge underwear.

9. Feeling uncomfortable with my partner b/c of my size during sex.

10. Being somewhere and realizing that I'm the biggest person in the room.

11. Not being able to get on the Gondolah in Vegas with my friends b/c I almost meet the maximum weight BY MYSELF!

12. Looking at thin women and thinking that their lives must be so much easier than mine b/c they don't have all of the above issues to worry about.


WHEEWWWWWWWWW!!!!!! It had to be said! But I know that I'm a wonderful person with many accomplishments under my belt. I know that my size does not constitute who I am. I am beautiful and deserve to be loved no matter if I never lose another pound. I love myself and it's up to everyone else to decide whether they want to be a part of this love or to be shallow and be without my love.

This is something I can do for myself to put the icing on the cake...it is not the cake!! I'm already the cake!!!

Yeaaahhhhh, TESIA!!!!

[Ryan44221]

I hate the strech marks that i gained along with 102 lbs.....grrrrr

[Lessara]

I think some of us, I count myself in that group, work so hard to not talk negatively about being fat that we lose sight about the realities till they slam us in the face. I actually chuckled at what I read, I know what you mean!
Why I hate being fat:
1. Having to trouble people when they try to pass me in an asle at the store or at work due to my big size.

2. Getting bruses on my hips after going to the Movies due to their seats! :rolleyes:

3. Having to pick up something that fell on the floor and I bend over to pick it up... What a view, huh? :D

4. Can't take a shower with an other person :(
Heck can't even take a bath on my own, without splitting the
water in two!

5. Shees.. I would love to get a WOmen's shoe size!

6. Having to put Anti-Persirant under the stomach. Eeww!


:D

[mattoman01]

I got one...

Having to listen to skinny folk talk about fat people with such disdain...

HATE OF THE OVERWEIGHT !! THE NEW BIGOTRY!

[odd sock]

Some of my biggest HATES about being fat:

1. When you try to exercise or participate in a sport/activity, people look at you like you like you have no right to be there! :mad:

2. Clothes... BAD prices, BAD colours, BAD materials, BAD styles, that is IF you can find any! :mad:

3. Thin women in your group whining about how fat they are, making you feel as if you are an aberration! :mad:

4. Finding a BRA that fits! :mad: Sure, make 5000 bras for the flat-chested to appear to have cleavage, but try to find ONE larger size that doesn't look like it was designed by evil matrons in the 1940's??? :mad:

5. Being told, "...but you have such a pretty face." like it is the consolation prize for having a fat body! :mad:

6. Media personalities (or anyone, for that matter) who don't have a clue and feel so free to judge! :mad:

7. Being 'invisible'-- to shop staff, the opposite sex, people who think you'll cramp their style! :mad:

8. Assumptions that you are anything less than an intelligent, vivacious, sensual, active, productive, stable, responsible, and adventurous individual simply due to your size! :mad:

9. To hell with all the chairs that hurt your bottom, too small toilet cubicles, crammed-together tables, and tiny aisle seating! :mad:

10. The worst thing about being fat is the effect it can have on your self-esteem in thinking that you CAN'T do anything you set your mind to! :mad: :mad: :mad:


Phew!!!!!!!!!! :daze:
Ablution complete... vitriol gone.

What a great release! What a great idea!!!!!!

Now I can get on with it!

Thanks!

[sylvie p]

I agree wholeheartedly with all of the reasons posted on why I hate being fat. The ones I can add to the list are:

- Hate feeling relieved when there's someone fatter than you in a room (how superficial is that?)

- Hate the fact that I've been living my life "on hold" until the day I finally lose weight (18 years and counting... how much more time do I have to lose?)

- And of course, never really being able to enjoy a day at the beach.

Sylvie P

[TerrieP]

Agree with the above.

Here's some more:

1. Being embarrassed to look in the mirror at your own reflection.

2. Being embarrassed to look at your own reflection in a window as you walk by.

3. People constantly asking you if you are on a diet!!! (That's why I am not telling people this time around.)

4. Feeling embarrassed at the gym in front of all the skinny minnies.

BUT . . . now I put a twist on it and say:

1. Wow your face is looking thinner (even if no one else has noticed yet.)

2. You are looking better and better every day you choose this WOE.

3. Love people's reactions when I order a huge honker steak and they look embarrassed for me.

4. Feeling great about myself because I made it to the gym another day and am keeping the committment to myself, hell, half the skinny minnies are there for a social outing anyway.

[starchile]

Thanks to everyone who posted so far on this topic!!! I too put a lot of time and energy into dispelling the myths but yeah, there are things that WE ALL deal with that can wear on us if we don't release it--the day to day prejudices and the effects they have on us.

SO THANK YOU for releasing some of that with me!!! I truly appreciate it! It makes me feel good, not only to know that I'm not alone, but that I brought up a topic that allowed you all to let off some steam!!!!

Peace and Balance to you all!!!

Tesia

[Lessara]

This is why I hate being a fat woman as well...

Having people ask me if I'm pregnant! :rolleyes:

[A thin me!]

Occassionally, you will see someone put on a "fat suit" so they are heavier. They want to experience what it is like to be heavy. Well, 3 hours in a suit is not the same as a lifetime of
ridicule!!! Plus, when they are done, they step out it and go on their lives.


If you are buying a gift for someone, whether it be candy, or lingerie - people look at you, like "whom" are you kidding.


How about the fact that heavy people are also invisible? Have you been in the store, and no one waits on you? What, they can't see me??


ATM

[sunshine2]

One of my most embarrassing moments was when a close family member of my husbands saw me at the store, and said "Oh, I didn't know you and Paul were expecting again", I wanted to die. First I was embarrassed, and she was equally embarrassed when she found out I was just fat!


I hate the styles they have for "fat" people, give me a break, we may be plus sizes, but we don't like wearing tents either. And, you skinny people, don't tell us how fat you are when your around us, fat is not 5'6" and weighing 135. And here is another one, just because we are fat, doesn't mean we eat all the time, I know a lady that barely eats, and is over 300 pounds, (trying to convince her to do the Atkins/PP now - so far no luck).

Anyhow, the biggest reason I hate being overweight is not because of anyone else, but because how I feel about myself, I want to have more energy, wear the "bikini", short dresses, etc. And, soon, with this WOE, I will be able to do that. :D

[razzle]

These days, I think that the only reasons I ever disliked being fat were because of other people/"society's" judgements. I still felt fine, could exercise a lot, was the same person inside no matter what my outside looks like.

But study after study shows that (in the US at least) what odd sock said in #8 are true: people (both thin and fat ones!) assume that fat people are lazier, stupider, meaner, etc. than thin people. Fat people testifying in court are not believed as much; fat people are passed over for promotions; it's harder to find a good mate as a fat person; teachers assess fat children as having under their IQ scores and thin children as over theirs. Even studies with young children show that they have these prejudices by age 5!

The times in my life that I said, "I feel better in clothes (or 'having sex' or 'about myself') as a size 5," I meant, "I feel less self-conscious because I know other people are more approving of me."

For me, self-acceptance (no matter what weight I am) and losing weight to a reasonable and healthy and sustainable size go hand in hand. If I ended up a size 8 again, I'd still fight for fat acceptance! :thup:

[lesleyc]

...and those public toilets that wedge the sanitary disposal container in beside the seat so when you sit down your thigh/bum is mashed up against the sanny container ...yuk!

not being able to cross your legs on an office chair in a meeting, so when you are in a meeting everone can look at your fat thighs splayed out on the chair

Photos that show a shiny puffy face

....roll on goal

Lesley

[starchile]

I forgot to add one that REALLY bugs me! The fact that I can't wear shorts b/c the friction of my thighs rubbing together causes them to ride up in between and then I have to do that funky walk-squat thing to release them!!!

NOT ATTRACTIVE!!!

[TerrieP]

Having your picture taken!

[Flintstone]

Starchile....thank you for the much needed "chuckles" today!!

The airplane is my #1...but you gotta enjoy the looks on people's faces as you walk down the aisle and you know they're praying that we don't have the seat next to them! I wonder if any of them every stopped to think how uncomfortable we are in those airplane seats?!

OMG..your picture on your profile.... you are a BEAUTIFUL woman and certainly not one to allow others to make you feel less than that!!

Whereas, I don't consider myself beautiful by any means....I am active, intelligent, fun to be around and very hard-working. If those that don't know me choose to make their own assumptions based on my weight....then to hell with them!!

We have to change how we see ourselves...before we can ever expect others to see us for the wonderful people we are!!

PS...I, too passed up the gondala in Vegas for the same reasons!! and still don't like pictures!!! (Small steps at a time).

[merita41]

OK Her's my two cents worth.
#1-Sitting with friends watching TV when one of those commercials comes on for that movie with Gweneth Paltrow where she puts a fat suit on,OMG, every time I felt completely humiliated.(or any of those other movies or tv shows where that happens)
#2- Ankles that swell
#3-Not being comfortable to sit at tables in restaurants and having to wait for a booth.
#4-Not fitting into the booth :D
#5-Buying something sweet in the grocery store and noticing someone shaking there head at me.(don't buy sweet stuff anymore)
#6-Riding in the back seats of cars,esp. 2 door cars.
#7-#1 again
#8-Someone pinching my cheeks and telling me what chubby cheeks I have.(I'm a women in her thirties not a baby)Why do people do things like that, I would NEVER do that to someone.
#9-Went into a clothing store at the mall just to look around and the clerk walked up to me and said (this a direct quote)"We don't have anything in this store to fit you", now I had not even said anything to her nor had I asked for help, she didn't know why I was in there I could have been shopping for someone else or a present or something.Never went back in there, never will.She actually said that to me, if anyone had told me that that had happened to them I don't know if I would have believed them.
#10-#1 again.And monica(of Friends) in a fat suit, No More of that stuff.

[sylvie p]

Hey Starchile,

I've done the funky, walk-squat dance too I just didn't know there was an actual name for it. LOL Still chuckling as I repeat the name - funky, walk-squat. But it's definitely not attractive.

[starchile]

I would PM to make my comments but I'm not quite allowed to yet sooooo....


Flintstone: Thank you for the compliments on my photo!! Ironically that pic was taken at my HEAVIEST but it's my fave picture!

Sylvie P: I think we just coined a phrase!! And/Or Created a new dance craze!! The Funky-Squat Walk Dance!!! NICE!


I'm glad that we are all able to laugh about these things that on an emotional and psychological level is really damaging. Thank you all for helping me heal!

Peace and Hugs!

Tesia

[aztovaalex]

I know this is an emotional vomit thread, but wanted to add a chuckle.

I have found that, no matter what my size or social status, if I wave a credit card in the air near a salesperson, I get some help! Walk into Needless Markup (Neiman Marcus) and give it a try. :D

[Lessara]

Are you talking about the chicken dance, like at weddings? If so, YOu are sooo brave!!

I remember going into Victoria Secrets a few Christmas's back to get a gift for my sister-in-law (at the time) and I was looking through pjs and a woman came up to me and said, "I'm sorry, but I noticed you looking through the clothing and I wanted you to know that we don't carry large sizes like yours in our store, we might have your size in our cataloge but I highly doubt it."
I turned so red and quickly left. So yes, I know you told the truth!

Why do people have to shame others?

[starchile]

Your stories make me SOOO angry!!!! :mad: HOW DARE THEY EVEN COME AT YOU LIKE THAT!!!

But you know what, that just shows their ignorance and downright insensitivity. I know that there's nothing anyone can say to ease the feelings of humiliation and embarrassment it sounds like you ladies experience, but I'm sorry you had to go through that.

Warm Hugs,
Tesia

[sylvie p]

My standard reply to anyone who makes a comment about my weight is:

"Gee, I can lose the weight but I'm afraid you'll always be ugly."

It usually makes me feel better.

[upncomer]

I ditto everyone's comments, but one especially stands out for me...

I cannot STAND the way they made the "fat" Monica act on Friends. Friends is one of my favorite shows and when I saw Monica constantly eating and acting so stupid I feel embarassed as if it is being directed at me.

I mentioned this to my husband a while back and said that I wanted to write a letter to the show and voice my anger - haven't done it yet.


On a good note....I refuse to shop for clothes in regular stores anymore - almost all of my clothes come from QVC/HSN or online shopping through Junonia. I work in an environment that requires me to wear blazers and businesslike outfits. I feel really good when I get complimented on my clothes.

Being overweight most of my life, I have finally come to the point of loving myself for ME and not worrying about how others see me. My husband really helped me through a lot of my insecurity regarding my weight, and I will forever thank him for that.

Nowadays, if someone is so stupid as to give a negative comment concerning my weight, I actually laugh at them for being so ignorant.

OK, enough from me!!! :D

[odinisgod]

I think that a lot of you hit it right on. :)

It helps me to hear that a lot of you have the same concerns about being fat that I do. I know that some of these will be a repeat, but I should get these Top 10 off my chest too.

1. Airplane Seats
2. Having to ask for the extra seat belt strap when I finally do wedge my butt into one of those airplane seats.
3. Tiny Butt Arm Chairs
4. Restarants with Tight Booths
5. Movie Theater Seats
6. Only being able to enjoy roller coster parks through memory.
7. Having to be worried about being discriminated against when I interview for jobs that don't involve working at the big and tall store.
8. Limited sexual positions.
9. Getting the "I'm concerned about your health" speech from a family member.
10. Having to take 5 minutes to buckle my seat belt whenever I get into a friend's car.

Thanks all, and good luck.

:wave:

[wangeci]

Okay, I know I probably have 10 things to say
1. Bathing suits, bathing suits bathing suits, yuck

2. Sleeveless shirts another yuck

3. Plus size fashions that completey rip us off!!!!!!!!!!

4. My size 5'11", size 9 friend who complains of herself being fat
(her stomach is concave and she has six pack abs) what the
hell does that say about me huh??????????????

5. The lack of self esteem, even though I know I am beautiful
intelligent and very well liked.

6. Repeat #5 four more times.................................


Cindy :eek:

[Mindyd]

I agree with all of the ones mentioned above and I'd like to add one more - I have several guy friends - ones that I can talk quite openly with about anything - and what I hate is that they feel no remorse or shame to make lewd comments about some skinny woman in my presence - but obviously aren't as attracted to me 'cuz I weigh more.....and then go on to make comments about someone obviously smaller than me like "she'd be cute if her *ss weren't so big".....I hate to think about what they say about me when I'm not around.....rude!

Mindy

[merita41]

I just got back from the doctor and have a couple more.
#11-The nurse having to search around for the BIG blood pressure measuring thingy.
#12-When the lab assiatant takes my blood and puts the turniquet on and.. well ya'll know what that looks like :D
can't wait to go to the obgyn, I'll have more. :p

[starchile]

OHhhhh, Merita!!! You just opened a whole OTHER can of worms!!!

Hospital Gowns!

The doctors blaming EVERY POSSIBLE ILLNESS YOU COULD EVER HAVE on being OVERWEIGHT!! Or as they like to call it: MORBIDLY OBESE!!!!!!!!!

MORBIDLY OBESE!!!

"OMG! YOU are SOOO fat that you could just DROP DEAD at any second now!"

How ugly is that term!!???? We get NO LOVE!!!

Doctors asking me if I'd like information on weight loss pills!!! Without me even bringing any interest up in the first place!

AAGGGHH!!!

Sorry I needed to lose it for a minute! I'm calm now.....

I love myself and I know that I'm capable of doing ANY thing regardless of my size.

Peace,
Tesia

[John2001]

Short list of what I always hated:

1- Expanding the seatbelt to the limit to buckel it

2-The roller coaster hold down bar (someone say this one and it struck home) a former girl friend almost fell out because she sat next to me, with same bar holding us down)

3-The clothes stores, having to covertly shop at "Big n Tall / Casual Male" type stores and pay twice the amount for the clothes. ($50-bucks for a pair of jeans, come on! )

4-Women that just glance at you and then whisper to their friends. Knowing you had no chance with them, not that I'd be interested in them, being that shallow anyway.
5- The legs rubbing when you walk so bad you chaffe by the end of the week in the summer.
6- Resterant booths - enough said

7- Any chair with arms. (Plastic lawn chairs!)

8- The comments you get: You're eating well...You don't look like you miss a meal.... etc.

9-The TV shows all having thin people being the most popular and daring and the bigger people always being the butt of jokes and more comic type than being the hero or main star. (The fat suit for a day one kills me, as someone said, "they" can take that suit off and resume their everyday life.)

10- Basically just what all of these things and many others do to our minds and how we live our lives in general. We are more like hermits, castouts and basically treat ourselves as bad or worse than others treat us. We are hardered on ourselves than they could ever be.

Ok, that's enough complaining for now.

Now that I have lost close to 100-lbs, there's a few things I dislike about this too.
1-Buying clothes every couple of months gets expensive.

2-Sitting on a wood chair or hard surface hurts my butt.

3-In the winter, I get so cold! Have to layer my clothes,

4-The number of people that keep saying, OMG! what happen to you! Are you alright? Are you sick, do you have cancer or something?

5- For me, the women that wouldn't even notice me or ever talk to me before, all talking and being all nicey-nice with me. *Tuff honey, you never noticed me before, I don't need you're type around me now.

Believe me, I not sure which is worse, as far as the comments. I feel like I'm on display, always have to explain how I'm losing, and basically have felt more selfconcious now, more than ever. Trust me, it's almost as hard on the other side too, once you've always been fat, it's weird the way people act around you, almost like their comparing thenselves to you now, rather than them just thinking how much better they are, compared to you. ;)

But we will all get to see what it's like one day. Stay with the program!
Stay commited! We will get there, together!

Cheers, John

[mattoman01]

I'm not so upset about the fat suits as I am about the lack of 'fat' actors in TV and movies...

John Candy probably would not have even got a chance in today's environment. Just look at Matthew Perry on Friends and how much flak he has to take for his weight gain.

You cant make ethnic, racial, religious or dumb blonde jokes anymore but people can laugh out loud at fatsos just becaouse they are different.

I'm tellin ya, people ... bigotry

[starchile]

Wellllll, yeah, that is true there aren't a lot of large actors (women at least) on the Big screen but then a lot of the time if you DO find one, they have to play down to society's prejudices of us anyway!!! You see so many large character's that are the butt of the joke, psycho (mimi on drew carey) or just LOSERS in general.

I don't know which is worse!

[Stardust]

Hi all! I agree with your reasons of hating to be fat and have a couple of my own to add:

1. Clothing manufacturers thinking all fat women are short (I'm 5'10")

2. People not knowing you are pregnant, because of your weight.

[Ororo]

I thought that I would add my perspective:


1. Trying to shop in London or anywhere in Europe. I haven't been to Asia since I weighed 145lb. It was impossible then. I can't imagine what it would be like now.

2. a. Visiting with your 5'2", size 6 friend whose mother is trying to get her to lose weight so that she can find a husband.
b. Having the mother constantly give you weight loss and exercise tips.
c. Having the mother ask when you're (read: how the hell you're ever) going to get married.

3. The whole "you have such a pretty face" thing.

4. a. Being uncomfortable around beaches and swimming pools.
b. Not going to a party you've been invited to . . . because it's a jacuzi party!


I'm sure that I'll think of more later. This has been really cathartic.

[Trifle]

Haaa Haaaa, I'm rolling on the floor !
Here's some more;
* Eating somthing fattning in public, and someone looks at you in
discust.
* Accidently catching a glimps of yourself in a store window.
* Have you ever worn too small pantyhose and have the panty
part fall down below your stomach, while your shopping. Just
try and get them back up with no one seeing !
* Speaking of panties, I have to pull mine out of the crevice,
every time I get out of the car.
* Not easily being able to bend down to pick somthing up.
* Too small dressing rooms.
* I want one of those colorful, all over printed t-shirts really bad,
and they don't make them in my size !
* Being out of breath from exertion, when no one else is. :heart:

[StarOrchid]

LOL! where here are some of my pet peeves:

-that my brother's girlfriend is pregnant and her little 6 yr old asked me if I was having a baby too. GRRR!
-that I'm only 22 and I have tons of sexy clothes from 2 yrs ago that I can't fit into!
-that I gained 70 lbs in two years from drinking at college parties and going to bars. Note to college students: DON'T DRINK ALL THE TIME!
-that I have terrible stretchmarks all over my stomach from gaining so much weight so fast.
-that my fiance doesn't look at me like he used to. :(
-that I HATE to look at myself in the mirror.
-that I can't see my clavical bones anymore!
-that my breasts are droopy when they should be pert at my age.


I'm gonna lose all this weight if it's the last thing I do!!!!

[Stardust]

Having to lose 60 lbs. before anyone notices.

[offdawagon]

You know why this stuff is funny? Because here, we're among friends. Friends who have been there, done that...are there, doing that. In real life, there's no humor really to the discrimination that fat people are subject to. And it's not just the general public. While my husband is very loving, very supportive and SWEARS that he doesn't care how big I am, truth is ... he DOES treat me differently at 220 than he did at 135. My kids react differently to me...my mom...my neighbors. I think people are so incredibly uncomfortable around people "of girth" (now that makes me laugh!) that they are overwhelmed by compulsion to say stupid things and act like total social retards. JOHN2001 congratulations on your remarkable success, but I have to agree with your list of not so great things about having lost a large amount of weight. This I know for sure...the insecurities of a fat person DO NOT LEAVE WITH THE POUNDS. Threads like this one can help us all to exorcise the issues we have so they won't linger like the stretch marks we're all gonna have when this over. Thank you, Starchile, for beginning this discussion. You sound like a very bright, lovely person. Good luck and see you around!!! By the way, my biggest peave...

small bathroom stalls where you have to lean to one side to find the toilet paper holder! Good luck, good people! :wave:

[joanie]

Was listening to Queen in the car today, and 'Fat Bottomed Girls' came on and I thought of this thread, which I had read (and enjoyed) earlier, and I just sat there in the car and laughed...and sang, really loud: "Fat Bottomed Girls, you make this rockin' world go 'round!" (or something like that -- I'm notorious for getting lyrics wrong!) Anyhow, I can definitely relate to everything that has been said...the tight seats, the special bp cuffs, the disapproving looks. It sucks, big time! But it's fun to commiserate with you guys. Thanks for the laughs! :lol:

HERE'S TO THE FAT BOTTOMED GIRLS!

[JeanetteJ]

This thread is perfect for me; has got me thinking as to why it's been so hard to keep motivation to stick to this way of eating and get the weight off. because being fat doesn't seem all that bad. Even at 100lbs overweight, i carry it pretty well, and can still fit in airplane seats and on roller coasters and under seatbelts. I've never seen the fat suit on t.v. I don't notice strange looks or discrimination in the stores or out in public. At work, it's about 1/2 thin and 1/2 fat, so i fit in fine there. So WHY would I want to work to get the weight off? I have just forced myself to sit here until I could come up with 5 reasons and it's taken a very long time... but here goes.

Not wanting my picture taken with my friends and family and students because of how big i look compared to most of them; not wanting to show the pics to people.

Big calves that keep me self-conscious when wearing shorts.

Having to wear spandex under my skirts to keep my legs from rubbing together.

I haven't gone swimming since college, and even then, only a few times.

The sense of feeling enslaved to food; and I'm so good in other areas of my life, why can't I get control of this one.

--Jeanette

[JeanetteJ]

Friends who love to talk about the 10-20 pounds they feel they need to lose.

The inward-opening doors of bathroom stalls.

-Jeanette

[Stormy]

What a great thread!

I can relate to just about all of this.

I haven't worn sleeveless anything in years. . .

Going to the doctor's is a traumatic experience -- I usually end up in tears.

Everytime we've gone on vacation to WDW I've wanted to try horseback riding -- but was always afraid that they wouldn't let me ride because of the 250 pound weight limit -- and the thought of getting weighed to see if I exceeded the limit is just too horrible to contemplate! The idea of over-burdening a freaking horse is mind boggling!

Eating out -- no matter what you order, you can feel the disapproval coming off the wait staff in waves.

Riding "E.T.'s Adventure" at Universal Studios in Orlando. I love that ride! And last time I went, I was in agony the whole time because the "bicycle seat" was digging into my butt so bad!

Missing out on a promotion at work. The person who got the job isn't even a college graduate, but is of "normal" weight. (He's also a man -- hard to determine if weight was the only factor being held against me!)

Hearing people say mean things about you. I what to scream, "Hey, I'm fat! I'm not DEAF!!"

Never finding something "slinky" to wear when I'm feeling romantic! (Flannel granny gowns just don't cut it!)

Having to listen to the women I work with complain about how "fat" they are. I should be so fat!

Not having the nerve to say one of my favorite quotes, "I'm fat and you're stupid. . .but I can lose weight!"

Thanks for the opportunity to vent!


P.S. All my love goes to my DH who has loved me for almost twenty-five years and still tells me everyday that he loves me and he thinks I'm beautiful!

[slim2none]

I can identify with a lot of the above. The one that gets me is my sister-in-law (who weighs 100 pounds, maybe) looks at me and says, "the reason you don't show your age is because your face is larger than it used to be and so doesn't show wrinkles". How is that for your self esteem? Just wait until she sees me this summer in a swim suit!

[offdawagon]

OH MAN!! Ater years of battling weight issues, I think I've heard them all, but slim2none's sister-in-law should get some kind of award for that one! You know what...everyone out there who has serious issues with carb assimilation...being fat is absolutely not your fault. Addiction isn't a fault it's a disease. BUT ( and this is a much bigger BUT than mine, even ;) ) rudeness and stupidity have absolutely no excuse. You have to think about those comments and decide that hurting another person in order to elevate your own self-esteem is a worthwhile endeavor . And since it applies to the topic of this thread...THAT, my friends, is what truly SUCKS. I can live with being fat...I'd probably kill myself if I were ignorant.

[HelloKitty]

I can relate with most of what's been listed here. :( My biggest peeves are:
1) Un-eduacted doctors: A few years ago when I was at 145 (15% body fat), my (now former) doctor (who weighs maybe 90 lbs soaking wet and is completely anti-LC ) told me that to be in my "healthy weight range" I needed to lose at least 30 lbs. (I'm 5' 6 and lifted weights 3 times a week) :bash:
2) Buying Clothes: At the rate I was gaining, I didn't want to spend a lot of money on clothes. At my top weight I went to a certain nation wide department store, and when I came out of the dressing room to ask my husband how the pants look, the witch sitting at the customer service desk rudely informed me "You're too big to wear those, you're going to rip the back out." :mad: I then went to a plus size woman's store and was lectured by the sales woman that they didn't have any clothes to fit me and to go somewhere else (which ties into my 3rd peeve)
3) (And my final one!!) People who also have weight problems (sometimes worse than my own), that come down on me for my weight problem. :confused:

[Stormy]

I thought of this last night, just as I was drifting off to sleep. I don't remember seeing it in any of the other posts, so I'll add this one to my list of peeves.

"ONE SIZE FITS ALL" clothing that definitely doesn't fit me!

Apparently this is not a new complaint and some manufacturers have changed their size labels to read, "ONE SIZE FITS MOST" instead.

That is enough to make me start muttering to myself, "Oh, yeah. . .one size fits MOST of me!"

(Nightwear manufacturers seem particularly guilty of this. I've seen many, many nightshirts that are really cute -- and wouldn't fit my 12 year old granddaughter!)

[offdawagon]

*Laughing..Laughing...Laughing* How about "one size fits...ALMOST" :p

[Sinlaila]

How about so called friends that make decisions for you (like ordering for you in a resturant) because they "have your best interests at heart"?

[Erin4980]

Obviously I hated being fat, but now at this weight, I think about the last time I was this weight, which was 4 years ago. I think I look great now (with minor improvements still necessary), however, four years ago I thought I was fat...trying slimfast or whatever else I could get my hands on.

I hate what the concept of "being fat" does to me. I hate how it dictates so much - to what I wear, where I'll go, and how I even just walk down the street.

It's funny how many thin people think they're fat. I know I shouldn't care what others think but, I know some of my boyfriend's friends still think that I'm this big fat girl, despite the fact that I'm a size 6. I know to a certain extent being fat is relative. I don't want to blame too much on magazines or society, but I sometimes wonder how much they have affected me. Have you guys noticed there have been a lot more healthier looking models coming out recently (even Kate Moss packed on a few), well although I aprreciate it, I can't stand it. I'm critical of them for not being stick thin - it's like I expect it.

I don't have a eating disorder, but I'm definitely a bit obsessive about weight, I was even in highschool. However, my point is that yes, I hate being fat, but moreover I hate the concept, even the word, b/c of all the things it implies - things that are not true. I hate how it has been imbeded in my mind. I can't believe that for hte rest of my life, I will be conscious of something to meaningless when it comes down to it (besides the health factor, but you don't have to be thin to be healthy).

I've recently read some threads discussing vanity vs. love you stretch marks...and I can't figure out, which one is right? Is vanity always a bad thing? I guess all that should matter is that we're healthy, but then why does fat, even on a small scale, means so much...maybe I should ask why it means so much to me, despite the pressure of the world around me...

Sorry I may not have answered this thread the way everyone else has...and may nore have answered this at all. It's just that I never realized all the changes that were going to occur, in every spectrum of my life, while I lost weight. I have so many new things to look at now (how "friends" handled it, how I preceive myself, etc).

Thanks for listening (I guess reading in this case),
Erin

[offdawagon]

Hi there, Erin. I found your post very interesting. Speaking as a Former Fat Girl, Thin Girl, Fat Girl again, I know what you're saying. We focus a lot on exteriors and not nearly enough on interiors. While your body was getting more fit and more pleasing to your eye, your soul was still very out of shape and you're the only one who really sees that part. You speak to something I have said many times... everybody notices and comments on the awesome physical changes you've undergone, but nobody asks how you're really doing. As a society, we are conditioned to a sort of fat people bigotry. Even fat people...look at how we beat up on ourselves sometimes. BUT, ultimately we are responsible for our own perception of weight...ours, a friends, or Kate Moss'. You have to try to take your fitness program to an internal level and figure out why it matters so much what you look like. I know...me, too. Lot's of people. You're not alone in your quest for self-acceptance. Finding out we're not alone in anything, really. Just say it and see how many people say, "Yeah...me, too." Good luck, sweetie.

[John2001]

offdawagon
While your body was getting more fit and more pleasing to your eye, your soul was still very out of shape and you're the only one who really sees that part.
Erin4980
It's just that I never realized all the changes that were going to occur, in every spectrum of my life, while I lost weight. I have so many new things to look at now (how "friends" handled it, **how I preceive myself**, etc).

Your comments have really hit home with me. This is the problem, I've been having now. Friends, family, passers by, keep saying "wow", and all that stuff to me, on my outside appearence.
My inside, mind and emotions, if you will, having not yet changed. I feel /see myself as still a big guy. The more people say it, the more uneasy I feel about myself, now and before the loss.

Does this make sence to anybody??

Unfortunatly our minds may take longer to adjust to our body's changes.

Cheers, John

[Erin4980]

I still pick up the 10 and even size 12 clothes when I go to a clothing store. When I went to buy first new pair of jeans, I picked up an 10, then 8, my boyfriend was like that's looks offly big for you, but I didn't believe him. I ended up fitting in the 4. How in the heck is my mind working? I think you're right - it will take some time for my mind to adjust and catch up. It's crazy to see all the things that my mind (I guess unconscious) has done to protect me. Like for example, even though I think I still wear a ten, when I look in the mirror I feel like I have never changed (never changed from gaining the original forty pounds). So I was in denial about the gain and now in denial about the loss...lol.

About the whole friends issue. I have realized soo much in this area and have said it before on this site. The majority of people I know and be jolted in some way by my weight loss. It's seems that most can't handle it and are either jealous or miserable and want everyone to join there party.

A friend and I were talking the other day and she said that she really just wanted to congradualate me on my weight loss b/c she knew it had been something that I had wanted to do for a long time. Anyway, we decided that when people remark about you or your changes, it always comes back to them. So it reality it's hard to see what they really mean (and the reason why you shouldn't really care what others think). For example, I have this friend that does not trust anyone (she thinks that everyone is overall negative and backstabbing), when in reality she is that person. She projects herself onto everyone else. How can someone be trusting in her mind when she's not. And the same goes with weight loss. It's would be easier to explain this with words (not typing) and with my hands moving about - I can always articulate myself better that way.

In the beginning, I couldn't wait for people to comment on my loss, but now it makes me feel uncomfortable too, especially when I see girls from freschmen year that still have their weight. It's always like "well didn't you get skinny." It's not like "wow you look really great." I never realized how unsopportive the world is and I never thought I would realize that with something as mundane as weight loss. That's why this site is so amazing - I have found my support and people like me, without them I probably would have given up a long time ago.

Erin

[gracie-poo]

Erin,

I completely know what you mean. It's weird, but I feel like other people are judging me in a negative light because I am making such a huge effort towards myself. Like somehow I'm selfish and conceited or something for spending time and effort to improve myself. Which is ironic, because these are the same people who were judging me for being fat. I really don't think it has anything to do with weight, deep down--it's all a manefestation of our insecurities.

I remember going to parties when I was a size 16 and being relieved that there were heavier girls there than me. As if somehow that made me "thinner" by comparison, so I wouldn't feel so gross. It was a way of not dealing with my own inability to control my own body (or what I percieved as a lack of control). I used to make conspicuous comments about very thin girls--like "eww, that girl is freakishly skinny" etc etc. WHich, when I think about it, is really incredibly rude and not any better than fatphobics.
I feel that my own success (in progress) losing weight makes other people feel like failures, in the same way I used to like one.
It is so sad that we all have been so manipulated by this fat thing, and have been so disconnected from what it all really means. But on the sunny side, I think all of the people here are really on their way to dealing with the real issues, realizing that it's not all about "weight." THis is a really great board, and I hope everyone finds "their way."

Gracie

[Erin4980]

It is so sad that we all have been so manipulated by this fat thing, and have been so disconnected from what it all really means. But on the sunny side, I think all of the people here are really on their way to dealing with the real issues, realizing that it's not all about "weight." THis is a really great board, and I hope everyone finds "their way."

I totally agree, in everyway.

I used to make conspicuous comments about very thin girls--like "eww, that girl is freakishly skinny" etc etc. WHich, when I think about it, is really incredibly rude and not any better than fatphobics.

I can't tell yu how many times I critisize girls out at the bars. I'm ripping them apart to my boyfriend. My boyfriend has said that it's just me being jealous, he's right though. I hate that. What's funny is since my bf and got together 4 years ago he has learned sooo much about women (or I guess college women/girls). For example, he's said to me at lunch the other day, "More girls check you out than me." I took it to be a compliment, whether he knew it or not. Those girls were doing the same thing that I've always done - I guess you could say scoping out the competition...lol. We got into a huge discussion about it and decided (lol) that it must be some primal thing from when we were still homosapiens where the female were protective over their mate. I mean sometimes I scan a girl w/out even noticing. Obviously you guys think I have issues...maybe I've told too much, but I swear if you met me, you would think that I'm normal...lol. I'm not kidding, my school to sooooo snobbing. It's hard to deal with, especially since I never expected it.

I feel that my own success (in progress) losing weight makes other people feel like failures, in the same way I used to like one.

I think this is especially true for people that are look to lose weight as well. I've been having problems with my mom since I started lcing. She puts me down and is constantly making comments like that am going to get an eating disorder.

I'm just glad that they're people like me (or close...besides my crazy part...lol).

Good Luck,
Erin

[offdawagon]

Isn't that what we've opened up here? John, when I read your first post in this thread, I was so glad that you brought up the issue of having lost all the weight still has some "sucky" facets to it. When I lost 93 lbs 2 yrs ago, I was absolutely dumbstruck by how profoundly that affected my entire life. It wasn't just a personal thing...it seemed to become a public issue. I live in a very small town, and I could not go out of my house for months without having to stop and do a complete discertation, several times per day, on how I lost the weight, how much I lost, how does my husband like his new woman...Even though, for me, weight or the loss of it is a very personal thing. (I have NEVER asked another person how much they weigh, or how much they have lost, and certainly never eluded to a weight gain.) The whole thing seemed very bizarre to me. People who seemed to have either never really noticed me or chose to avoid me were now my new "friends". I hated it. My old "friends" became very stand-offish. They definitely didn't want to discuss my weightloss. My family (several of whom have weight problems) also had nothing to say on a positive note. My husband, while he was very happy to have a thin wife for the more obvious reasons, became jealous, possesive and insecure. All of this threw me into a tailspin. All I could think of was, I am the one who has made the major life changes here. Why are you people acting so weird about it???? Please don't think I am totally blaming the regain I experienced on everyone but myself. I chose to relapse my habits. But while I am physically very uncomfortable and unwell in this present condition, emotionally I feel much safer here. And apparently, everyone else feels much less threatened by me LOOKING THE WAY I DO. Thanks for letting me vent. Feeling much better right about now. That was almost as satisfying as big fat brownie! KIDDING!!!! :D

By the way, John, love your joke page! We're thinking of having your "Rules for Dating my Daughter" drawn up into a contract...

[starchile]

Hello Erin-

I have read your posts and I'm seeing something a little bit deeper than what has already been discussed. Please forgive me if I'm stepping over the line, but I think it's important for us to be honest with each other b/c this journey is definitely NOT just about losing weight. Like everyone else has said, it's also about healing our innerselves and undoing a lot of societal damage. There is a different undertone that I'm sensing in your posts. I'm concerned that you are a size 4 and still seeing yourself as fat or rather not INTERNALIZING the fact that you are not the larger size. While I do understand what that is like (I have the same problem when I go to the stores), there is a point where that really becomes dangerous. Being a size 16 and seeing yourself as a size 20 is way less potentially harmful than being a size 4 and seeing yourself as a 10, do you understand what I'm trying to say? My challenge to you is to really ask yourself where it will stop. If you are already a size 4, where is the need coming from to lose more weight? I really do think that there is a need for some body image counseling.

I hope you haven't taken this the wrong way! It's meant in the most caring sense possible!

Peace and Balance,
Tesia

[John2001]

offdawagon, you've somed it up:
When I lost 93 lbs 2 yrs ago, I was absolutely dumbstruck by how profoundly that affected my entire life. It wasn't just a personal thing...it seemed to become a public issue. I live in a very small town, and I could not go out of my house for months without having to stop and do a complete discertation, several times per day, on how I lost the weight, how much I lost,

This is what I am going thur daily now. I work in the public eye, seeing people I haven't seen in a year or so's time. So when these people come in, their responses are, OMG or wow, what happen to you? In the spring and summer, my business pickes up and I'm faced with a lot more of this to come. I too, am tired of explaining how much lost, how I did it, and the strangest question, (I think anyway) WHY? I'm starting to get a little rude recently about this subject. I've even had a guy, who noticed how I had changed, call me on his cell phone from the food store and ask me what to buy!! What am I a losing weight expert now?!? lol
I mean, come on, I told you the basics, what book(s) to buy, now there calling me! lol

Another quote from you:
"became jealous, possesive and insecure" This one hit home with a friend of mine recently. I was told by his wife, after he found out I had a "date" (first time in a longggg time) that he said, Great, now John will get a girlfriend and he'll never be around anymore" His wife defended me with, "You can't expect him to be a bachlor his whole life". Just silly, ain't it!
----------------------------------------------
Erin, everything you stated I agree with too. I really like your "Issues" comment. I thought, I was the only one who used that term! lol The folks saying "eating disorder", ohhh, I hear the same type of stuff too. "Your thin enough" or "your still losing, your gonna get sick and fade away if you don't stop".

Those girls were doing the same thing that I've always done - I guess you could say scoping out the competition.

I had a strange thought about this comment. A gal I recently took out (twice) didn't seem to be as relaxed as she always was before, when I was around her. I sort of had a mild crush on her for a year or 2 and never made a move because of my weight. Now, being close to goal and hearing all these comments about myself, I finally decided to take a shot. Because of your comment, I'm thinking. Does she feel uncomfortable around me, because of the change in me? Humm.... I've always had this in reverse before. Me Not feeling good enough about myself to be with someone like her. Just weird stuff.
Myself with selfdoubt, all my life, in regards to the weight, now being more on the other side of the coin, is getting pretty strange. I'm more selfconcious and insecure now, than ever before. Just really strange how the mind works.

I'm glad to see we are all not alone in this. Not that it makes it any easier!! lol

Cheers, John

PS: Glad you liked the joke!

[John2001]

I really do think that there is a need for some body image counseling.

Maybe that's what we need!!! ;)

Seriously!!

Cheers, John

[starchile]

Thank you Offdawagon for the wonderful compliments! ;)

I see that this thread has transformed into a much richer discussion! I think it's so important that we support each other on all levels...you all are so right! This is also about deeper psychological issues that we don't touch on in our everyday lives. There is a lot of healing that has to happen in order for us to FEEL like "normal" people again! We are so scarred by the day-to-day treatment that part of the weight loss process has to include undoing some of the damage. and THAT'S why forums like this are so important. We are amongst people that have gone through similar experiences and that are at different points in their healing that are able to help us through.

It is soooo unfortunate, sad and disturbing that our society places such importance on outer beauty! But what do you expect from a capitalist society??? It's like shooting fish in a barrel to make money off of our insecurities! Yeah, it would be great to encourage our kids to be honest and caring people who have the capacity to love and respect themselves and others no matter what their appearances may be, and yeah, it would cut down the ridiculous crime rate, but WHERE IS THE PROFIT going to come from??

Don't get me started!

Please continue to talk and share! You all are AWESOME!

Peace and Balance,
Tesia

[Erin4980]

Starchile - You did not step over the line at all. Actually my boyfriend and I got into a huge discussion about this today during lunch and I pretty much put up the defensive wall on him...I feel like he doesn't understand. What sparked the conversation was that there was an article in our student newspaper this morning talking about college girls and negative impacts of body image. It was talking about the crazy rise in anorexics and bulimics. Thing latter part of the article spoke of obbessing about dieting and weight, and that these people are borderline for having an eatingdisorder if not a distorted self-image. Alright, with my boyfirend I try to explain that you have to be conscious of this WOL. It doesn't consume me, I occasionally cheat, however I weigh myself everymorning and count carbs...everything we're supposed to do. He thinks that's obbessing. There's a free screening by our health center and I may check it out, but I don't want to be like "waaayaayayayya." I feel like so many people are selfconscious of themselves and that there can be so many attributes linked to obsessive behavior, if not a negative self image.

Now about the size four, that was at Abercrombie - where the sizes are made bigger. I mean, they have a double 0 size there. I'm really a 6 (a tight 6), but I understand where you're coming from - I shouldn't still see myself as a 10/12. It's wierd though, when I finally hit my goal and put pics up on the site, I guarantee that most of you will be shock that I will have lost 45 lbs. I'm almost at 35 and I can bearly tell...even my boyfriend says that I really don't look that different.

It's almost like being thin can cause as many problems as being over weight - like my boyfriend being conerned that I'm too obsessed.

John,
Because of your comment, I'm thinking. Does she feel uncomfortable around me, because of the change in me?

I definitely think what I'm talking about has to do with the same sex. The only thing I can think of is that if you're acting different because of your weight loss and maybe that's why she acted different. Or maybe, have you guys talked about your loss?, sometimes I find that people won't bring it up, until you do b/c they don't want to make you feel uncomfortable, etc. What I said has to do more with jealous and how we "weigh in" in comparison to other girls - something that I'm definitely going to make an effort to stop doing.

Thanks guys if you have any other comments they are greatly appreciated,
Erin

PS if you guys haven't noticed, I'm a horrible typer/speller so please excuse all the mistakes.

[John2001]

You are so right Tesia, with what you are saying.
Most (thin) people would be thinking now, what the heck are these people talking about? To them, their bodys are, what they are. They have never had to deal with such a deep topic, such as this. Me personally, I'm having a more difficult time understanding / dealing with this "mental" weight loss picture, then I did with the losing part.

I have been overweight most of my life. Never accepted it completely in my mind, but understood, this is basically, what I am. Now, with all this attention being drawn to me and on this subject, I am finding it very hard to fully understand who I am or are becoming, if you follow.

There's no guide book or class to take for how to live life. There's no course to take for being "in shape" after being out of shape for half your life.

I hope we find someone, who has the same feelings on this subject (being overweight - then lost it) that is floating around this forum, that can give us a better idea, of how the deal with / accept this in our minds. For me, I know it will be a while yet.

I find myself getting more upset with folks that are thin, and their comments, directed at overweight people. Now, not being the target of their attack, I hear it even more so and get so internally upset from listening to it. That's the only time I wish I had, before and after pictures, a copy of the Atkins book, along with every post, thread, sheet of information on me, to give to that person and show them, there is a great way to lose the weight and feel great while doing it. But I know, if someone had done that to me, I wouldn't of felt any better about myself in the end. Even a friend of mine, who is (hate to say it ) very overweight, has that look in their eye's of disbelief, now that they see how far I've come. I try so hard to get them to come with me on this journey, but they won't. The usual, "I can't live / eat like that" or "That's not living"(going without all those foods). I try and try to get they to understand the basic idea of this WOL, but I'd guess, their not ready for it yet.

Ok, I've diversed enough from the subject, we got away from, in the beginning of this thread. Just more stuff thats floating around in my mind.

Look forward to more talk and discussion on this subject. ( the excepting in the body image, that is )

Cheers, John

[John2001]

Sorry to lose you in what I was thinking. I think I lost my own meaning in the typing translation myself. :rolleyes: I think maybe she was seeing how the other gals were looking at me and comparing herself with them.

Also, forgot the tell you, she has an "eating disorder". It was explained to me as, she would get heavy and then diet like crazy / starve herself, till she was thin. Go back and repeat.
Says she has it under control now and goes to meetings 2-3 times a week. So my mind wanders to what she is thinking about myself. We have talked about how I have come to where I am now too.
Maybe we're to similar in our past weight gains/losses to be able to understand what each other is thinking and what will upset the other. (me and her)

Just more mind confusion.

Cheers, John

[Erin4980]

That's the only time I wish I had, before and after pictures, a copy of the Atkins book, along with every post, thread, sheet of information on me, to give to that person and show them, there is a great way to lose the weight and feel great while doing it. But I know, if someone had done that to me, I wouldn't of felt any better about myself in the end.

I hate to make the comparison, but it's like a drug or alcohol addict...you can't fix the problem. They have to be ready to do it for themselves. I have wanted to lose weight for years, but I couldn't until I really was ready. I have a friend that's very very heavy and she's always says that she wantd to do the atkins with me. I invite her over for dinner and give her recipes, but if she's not ready I can't make her stick with it.

I know that the topic of this thread kinda changed, whoops.

Erin

[Erin4980]

I got you now :thup: It sounds like you guys could find alot of support within your relationship. You sound like a great guy so I say go for it w/ her!!!

Good Luck,
Erin

[Pete]

This is certainly an interesting thread and one that many readers can relate to. Its interesting what you go through when, as John describes it, you make it through your journey.

I don't know how many people have asked me how much my wife likes the new me. Its inevitible - one day I have a feeling I'm just going to let loose and just plant a left hook on the kisser of an unsespecting inquisitor. And that's one of the sad points in the whole thing.

I only realized the difficulty overweight people have in the last year or so when I "peaked" so to speak, never having been overweight when I was younger. It is an extremely revealing experience and makes you appreciate just how shallow people who don't know you can be. But what is more frightening is that it makes you realize just how influencial outward appearance can be, whether its warranted or not. That is something I've never fully appreciated until now.

On the lighter side, I've finally come to the end of being able to tailor all my suites. This is good and bad. On one hand, I get to go shopping (yet again) but I don't know if I have the courage to get rid of my old suits. Soon I'll be catching up to my wife in terms of closet space. So on that one, that's why being thinner (leaner for the body police) suks too!

[Erin4980]

well the depleting closet space is funny. I had kept a lot of clothes from the pre-weight gain era, but when I put them on now my boyfriend looks at my me like I'm wearing something from the 1950s. I don't want to buy new clothes until I hit my goal...any new clothes in between (like now) b/c they won't fit later. I tried getting things altered before I went to the Bahamas over Christmas b.c I had NO summer clothes that fit. However, it was so expensive and now non of it fits me. I say enjoy the new clothes, you earned 'em.

Erin

[Pete]

Yah, you know, when clothes look just a little loose, its fine, almost in vogue. When they're a little tight, they look awful. But when they're really loose, I end up looking like I found the damn things! They look down right flappy. Hey, there's another one-flappy clothes when you become thinner. Now that suks!

Okay, enough of that. Go Canada Go! (Olympic Hockey is on.)

[starchile]

Haha! Yeah, that's a good one for a new topic "top reasons it sux to lose weight"!

I have to say that I was dealing with that problem today in a BIG WAY!! I too, refuse to buy clothes until I'm closer to goal, so I've been miserable (in a good way) because all of my clothes look like they are drowning me! I keep putting new holes in my belt buckles, my socks keep falling down and for some reason I even feel like I'm sliding around in my shoes!! Do we lose weight in our feet too??? Not to mention all my jeans sag in the front and back!

Pete, what you said about looking like you "found" your clothes cracked me up!!! I know that feeling!

Peace,
Tesia

[Pete]

Yep. My darn shoes don't fit either! I bought two new pairs and began wearing my Tommy loafers that didn't fit quite right when I got them. At least I had some stuff that I hadn't worn in years. Okay, one more - getting thinner makes your shoes loose and you end up looking you're in clown school.

[Pete]

Getting ready to play Belarus. Could be a Canada USA gold medal game! Now that would be great.

[John2001]

I hear you all too. I had a dress belt that I just barely got into the first notch before this journey. I've gone thur all the holes and made another hole at the other end. Now it still is to big. Bought a new one. The jeans, don't get me started. I have complete sets from size 46, 44, 42, 40, 38, and 36 now. For some reason I'm still in disbelief of the fact I wore the 46's, even thou they look like a trash bag tied around me, if I were to put them on now.

Shoes, yes, they too seem like my feet are sliding around in them. At least with shirts, you can tuck them in more and get away with wearing them still! lol

It's funny, I had found a work shirt from 1987-88, back then I wore it unbuttoned and not tucked in, because it didn't look good(too small). Now it fits just right. Which reminds me, I have got to find my old suits and jackets from those days. Now thinking about it, they should fit again!

I had bought a few years ago for weddings and such events, but every time I went to wear them again, they were too small. Humm.....have to hunt thru the closet.
I've always hated clothes shopping. (hey, I'm a guy) Only went once a year and bought all I needed. All these trips to the store this past year is crazy to me. Hate it and like it at the same time.

Cheers, John
PS: Thanks Erin, I hope my relationship works out too. Haven't dated anybody really in like 4years. I'm the kind of guy that doesn't "casual" date, just anybody, to go out. Got to have that something special in my mind, for them. OK, so I'm a little picky! ;) You and your BF sound like you've got a good relationship going. Keep it up, it's hard to find that now a days. I'm very happy for you 2.

[offdawagon]

This is really directed to the ladies, and PERHAPS some of the guys ;) In reference to your shoes, socks, belts, whatever being too big, but still holding out before purchasing anything new until you're sure you're at a holding point...that strategy will work fine with one exception : your underpants. If you foolishly choose to wear your undies several sizes too large and for secular or social reasons should have to also be wearing a dress, you are subjecting yourself to a potentially hazardous and humiliating situation. Public display of your new, slimmer, sleeker body with your ancient panties down around your ankles and you with, perhaps, your arms full or in a crowded line in front of a theater, will do nothing for your self esteem. I will not elaborate as to how I came to this knowledge. Just trust me on this one, girls...go buy you some new undies that fit securely. :rolleyes:

[gracie-poo]

Oh so true offdawagon! LOL

There has been no greater shopping joy for me than walking into Victorias Secret and buying size medium thongs, and looking good in them. I've always been told I had a nice bum, and there's something about pretty underwear that makes me dance around the mirror in a spurt of vanity.

My mirror dancing episodes have been happening more and more :D ! My boyfriend is starting to think I've got the ego of a diva!

Hugs,
grace

[Mindyd]

The sad thing is, right before I began this WOL, I did a major clean out of my closet (I really needed to....) and got rid of a lot of clothes that I was sure I would never fit into again - I had resolved myself to the "myth" that I wouldn't be able to find a way to lose the weight that had crept on over the last 6 - 7 years....

So now I'm swimming in my current clothes - I have a few pieces that are one size down that I am now getting use of, but it's not going to be long before I'm out of those.....my husband keeps asking if I want to take some things to a local seamstress, but I'm a clothes horse and I just want to yell, "NO!!!!! I WANT NEW CLOTHES! I'VE WORKED HARD FOR THIS AND I'VE EARNED IT!" He's also lost weight following this WOE, but being a guy, doesn't care about clothes as much and is quite content to have things taken in......how do I tell him tactfully to drop that subject? I suppose I can appease him and have a few of my nicer things taken in - but for the most part I've been giving away things to my friend (who introduced me to this WOE) who started a bit bigger than me and is following me on the way down....she's now in the sizes I started in, so she's getting sort of a "new-used" wardrobe.....

[Mindyd]

For those of you who bowl, you'll understand my dilemma of having to put about 10 pieces of tape in the finger and thumb holes in order to hold on to the ball!!!!! It's expensive to get them plugged and re-drilled, so I don't want to do that until I get closer to goal - but boy, will that be fun.....the guy who had to plug and drill them out bigger as I was on the way up is a guy that I used to date (in what seems like a previous lifetime) and he was such a jerk when it came to weight....if you aren't a trim, perfect size 8, he wasn't interested.....I may not get down that small, but I'm gonna be darn close.......too bad turkey - you can't have me now!!!!! I found a real man who appreciates me for me - regardless of size......

[clwydd]

What a great thread. I love all the directions it has taken. I know that my body image is completely distorted and has been since childhood. There's nothing like having to wear a "chubby" size (thank goodness they don't call it that any more) or have to wear home-made clothes to drum it into you that you're different. The sad thing is that I was only a little overweight at that point. Last year my mother had to go into a nursing home, and I was in tears when I was going through our family photographs because I realized that I looked pretty good at times when I thought (partly because my parents told me in a number of subtle and not-so-subtle ways) that I was too fat.

My weight gain was gradual but inexorable, so I had no sense of how much fatter I was at 280 than I had been at 180. And a few years ago when I lost 50 lb, I had no sense that I was smaller at 235 than at 285.

A couple of weeks ago my 17-year-old gave me a hug and told me that she was proud of me, but warned me not to disappear. I said that I wished I'd done it earlier because even when she was little I'd been embarassed to go to her school, because I was afraid that the other kids would tease her because I was fat. She was completely shocked at the idea. She gives me lots of reasons to be proud, but the most important is that she's completely happy with her body--5'3", 115 lb--and she has always had a remarkably healthy attitude toward food.

One of the side benefits of eating low carb is that it makes me feel so good that I'm much less self-conscious about how I look (of course, it's still a shock to look in the mirror). I walk into the gym feeling that I have every reason to be there--well, I still feel like a beached whale when I'm doing abdominal exercises. I hope that I can hold onto this. The way I feel now, if I walked into a clothing store and someone told me they had nothing my size, I'd ask to speak to her manager and explain that they just lost my business.

Susan

[StarOrchid]

OH yes! Clothing! I saved ALL of my awesome sexy clothes from a couple years ago that I used to wear to parties and such. I can't wait to fit into them again to show my fiance what I look like underneath all the flab.
Sequin halter tops, here I come!

[Erin4980]

I hope that I can hold onto this.

You can definitely hold on to it. I think sometimes it helps to gain perspective on the situation - four years ago at 140 I thought I was fat, now I think I look great. See what I saying. You sould like you're happy. And the more and more I think about what someone wrote earlier in this thread - it does take time for our minds to catch up to our bodies, especially since most lose so quickly on Atkins.

Oh the gym...I think that it is such a hypocritical thing. It's like you can only workout in 'em if you're in shape. If you're not in shape, it's like you must not be serious or something. I really only like women only gyms for this reason (I know women can be more critical however,) I don't like to wear makeup and have to look pretty. Wait that came out wrong, I don't feel pressure to wear make up infront of men - I just hate having them scop me out and ask if I need help with the equipment. My point is this - I need a private gym to be happy..lol.

Erin

[chatty169]

for me it is and ok some of these are embarrasing and sound yucky.

1. being asked if your pregnant by a stranger and not having the nerve or the want to embarass them by saying no so you let them think you are.
3. lying on the bed trying to zip your pants and thinking if i get them done up how will i walk and sit down.
4. the under tummy yuks.
5. even your reflection in the tv when it's turned off makes you say ewwwwwwww.
6. how hard it is to do the every day things like bath, wipe after a bm, bend over, run, walk, and just play and have fun.
7. just plain feeling unacceptable to the world because your considered unhealthy and ugly.
8. wishing you could just never eat again and hating food but knowing that you can't stop eating and not being able to stop when you do start making it a cycle of i hate food and now i hate me.
on the flip side.
1. knowing i will be able to do all the above soon and
knowing that i don't have to hate food or myself i can
have my food and eat it to.

[supergirll]

Nothing fits and it seemed like I was treated better by others when I was thin.

[joanie]

I sort of joke that the fatter you are, the more invisible you become. You get sub-par service, you are ignored or stared at with contempt...it's an acceptable form of discrimination, apparently. And then you become thin, and people treat you like your opinion matters, and you become noticed, and everything changes. I find it rather astonishing!

And now that I am getting a lot of attention, I've had to deal with how it makes me feel. Sometimes it's wonderful and I bask in it, like yesterday when I stopped up to the pharmacy school and the ladies who were working there (security guards, cleaning people, etc) were amazed at how I looked, and they complimented me profusely. That felt great. On the other hand, sometimes you get different types of stares, and that is kind of creepy. Either way, it's better than the pitying/contemptuous stares from before. And no, I'm not smarter now, just thinner. Fat people are NOT stupid!

I wish you all luck on your weight loss journey!

[kevinm]

For a man, here are the top 3 reasons it sux 2 B FAT.
1. No sex
2. No sex
3. No sex

Get the picture!

[Meg_S]

Kind an old thread.. but wow! A great one!
The post about being invisible really got to me. I had been invisible until I lost weight and for a few years absolutely basked in all the attention I had never had...in my whole life! I was letting it fulfil needs of childhood attention too and damn it felt good...I truly became the good looking confident person I looked like. Then I got pregnant... and wow it's a kick in the gut to become "invisible" again. It really hit home how a person's "value" to strangers has everything to do with sex appeal and or looks in general. It's worth it to be on the trim side JUST for the respect given to you by others - or maybe I should say the disrespect NOT given? That might sound very self depreciating but you know it's hard to keep up the morale inside when everyone on the outside is treating you otherwise. This is coming from someone who truly believes that when you act as if you deserve respect, you will get it. :rolleyes: So far that has only worked for me when I was slimmer and attractive though.

[athene]

Being with my friend and she saying how she doesn't want her kids to be fat, or hearing her make comments about fat people, and I'm like HEEELLLOOOO DO YOU NOT SEE ME HERE!!!

People who never really realize that I'm pretty until they see a "face only" picture, and then they're like "Oh, you could be a model. I guess they usually just see fat and set their eyes to "ignore mode"

Never going horseback riding because I don't want to hurt the poor things back!

I want to feel good about eating out with family again. We're all 200+ so I know it probably looks like one hell of a joke when we go out to eat, and don't let us go to a buffet!

So I won't have to hear those "you need to lose some weight" talks from my grandma, I know she loves me and doesn't want me to go through the troubles she went through, but god is it embarrassing!

[acadkate]

* being pregnant and no one knowing it, or thinking I'm putting on the pounds rather quickly.
* signing up for a faculty shirt and having the biggest size by my name.
* that awful "slap" sound when I run.
* heart racing and breathless when reaching the top of the stairs, or having to stop mid way to catch my breath.
* being the fat mom, or fat teacher.
* not being able to wear short sleeves because my fat arms will show, not being able to wear long sleeves because the sleeves are too small.
* my top half being 2 sizes smaller than my bottom half but still have to buy the larger size tops to go over my hips and belly.
* a total stranger, with a button on his shirt saying "I lost weight, ask me how", striking up a conversation at the grocery store check out line just because I'm fat.
* "I'm sorry we don't carry your size in our maternity line, try k-mart."
* pants with elastic waist.
* not being able to find boots that fit over calves.
* plus size socks.
* getting dbl meat and no bun at the school restaurant and being charged for 2 meals. OK that's not a fat thing but a LC thing.
* plastic lawn chairs.
* belly touching steering wheel but feet not reaching pedals and not being pregnant.
* baseball stadium seats.
* too small bathroom stalls.

[ArmyWife05]

There are lots of reasons why I hate being fat...

1. Stretch marks and cellulite
2. feeling depressed when shopping for clothes because nothing looks good!
3. feeling very embarrassed during sex because I am always worrying about my stomach rolls
4. I hate weighing more than my hubby...he is 6'1 and I am 5'5.
5. I hate comparing myself to my little sister who is a size 2.
6. I hate not being able to wear a bikini (or any swimsuit for that matter!)
7. I cannot stand having my photo taken because I hate what I see
8. I am just tired of feeling bad about myself and unhappy with how I look
9. Tired of people telling me that I have a beautiful face in a sad voice that indicates if only I were thin I would be truly beautiful...

[nedgoudy]

Not being able to clip my
toenails without extreme
shortness of breath was
one of the worst experiences
for me. That and fearing death
at every turn from high blood
pressure and lack of exercise.

[nocarbs4gj]

I can relate to everything in this thread. I will add:

1. Waking up in the morning and my first thought being about how fat and horrible I look.

2. Obsessing about my weight during the entire waking period.

3. Going to bed at night wondering if I will ever be thin again.

4. Remembering what it was like to be thin and kicking myself for letting myself get this way.

5. Never hearing a compliment from your father anymore.

6. Going to your husband's native country, where 95% of the women are thin and beautiful.

7. Knowing that tomorrow I am still going to be fat. I have at least a year of being fat ahead of me, because I am losing at a snail's pace.

[sunshine2]

Okay - gotta put my reason in here too -

1) Eating out, everyone stares and you know they are thinking "no wonder she is fat".

2) The heat rash you get in the summer, because your thighs are rubbing each other - sweating.

3) Short always roll up on your thighs because again - thighs rub each other

4) You really want to jump in a pool, but you looke hideous in a bathing suit.

5) When you go shopping you always have to ask "where are the plus sizes" to some skinny little pretty girl who looks at you with a disgust look.

6) Working out at the gym with all the skinny pretty people and trying to look like you know what your doing and not look totally hideous while you work out huffing and puffing and hoping you don't pass out in front of everyone.

7) Stepping on the scales and watching the nurse keep moving the scale thing up and up - over the 200 lb mark - as your face keeps getting redder and redder.

8) Trying your best to look good - then you look in the mirror and the fat over powers all the makeup and your fat girl clothes, no matter what you do, you still look fat.

9) Getting your drivers license renewed and the "old" weight is still on there, you know they are thinking "LIAR". Mine still says 140 lbs.

10) Trying to shave your legs - but you can barely do it because you cut your breath off when you bend over. So, you have hairy legs along with being fat - sux!

And all the other reason listed on this thread - we all have been there! (and I'm still there - but determined not to be fat all my life!)

[nocarbs4gj]

8) Trying your best to look good - then you look in the mirror and the fat over powers all the makeup and your fat girl clothes, no matter what you do, you still look fat.



I can so relate to this.

I can add one more thing to my list, thanks to weighing this morning:

8) Getting on the scales and having gained 5 pounds after you thought you had been doing so great over the last two weeks. And I can't even blame it on TOM.

Emotionally, I have hit rock bottom today.

[chelles]

Thankfully, I have no health problems from being fat. (My cholesterol and blood pressure are in a good range.) I can bend down and tie my shoes, get up quickly from the floor, etc.

What I hate:

1. Not being able to jump in the water in a bathing suit. (I live on the water and have been in a bathing suit once in two years!)

2. Not wanting to date until I'm thinner.

3. Having a closet full of great-looking clothes, and wearing junky stuff instead because I'm a size 16 instead of a size 12.

4. The last time I had my picture taken was in 2000!

5. Not having the kind of face that looks okay fat. Some women do. I definitely do not.

6. Fat lady clothing. Why is it so hard to find something with sleeves that's low-cut? Everything is either a huge version of trashy teenage clothing or something an 87-year old would wear.

7. My legs being way too fat to wear skirts. I love skirts. I would wear them constantly if I didn't look so bad.

[Rsmry]

What I hate:
1. Not daring to swim at the public heated pool in the winter because it would be too embarrassing. Luckily, I live on a lake, so can swim in privacy in the summer.
2. Feeling it when people avert their eyes when they see me in the same way they do with other people they cannot relate to, such as people in wheelchairs.
3. Not wanting to be intimate with my husband, for a host of reasons all having to do with my body.
4. Horrific clothes. You think things are bad in the US? I used to find pretty decent looking stuff at the specialty stores over there. Here they are still fixated on tunics and if I find a pair of pants that fit my bum, the waist is six or eight inches too big and the legs four inches too long (Swedes are TALL people and they seem to believe that if you are bigger around, you must also be taller. Have to have my sister bring me jeans from the States every year.
5. Inability to find pretty shoes in my size - I have big feet anyway and the weight has turned them into platypus feet. I have to wear men's boots in the winter.

But all that is soon going to be history. I can do this, I am doing this, and I'm not giving up.

Rosemary

[willjoa]

New to site, just stumbled on your profile....girl you are absoLUTELY beautiful!! Where are you in the process. I want to look like you when I grow up....I am definitely encouraged! Stay beautiful, blessed and loved!!

[sunshine2]

Welcome willjoa! I suggest setting up your own journal, you'll get lots of support there and many suggestions.

[dreamnfae]

I hate that while I am still able to run, I am embarrassed to for I am deathly afraid that someone else will hear the wierd "slap- slap sound that my belly makes when it meets my thighs!

I hate having to go to my son's school, because I would never want him to be embarrased because some crappy little fart has to make some comment like "Dude, your mom is fat!" He's 15)

Being afraid to jump on my trampoline in my back yard cause I'm afraid I will break it, and more importantly, really really hurt myself.

Not going to the amusement park anymore, cause I don't fit on any of the rides I used to love to go on.

Not being able to wear sandals because my feet and ankles swell so much that people at work start asking me if I'm OK.

[joylorene]

I love to come back and re-read this one! I can relate to everyone's reasons and it gives me motivation to stay focused on the prize.

[mzsunrize]

:p I have a personal top ten too... I will share.

10. My mom is asian, and that side of the family is the stereo-typical short, petite and THIN....and im the biggest one there, I just feel I dont fit in EVEN with my own family. I just have to ask, where the hell are my mom's genes? LOL.
9. Tank tops..
8. The paranoia that people are looking at me and saying things when I do my evening walk.
7. Trying on a Boyfriend's shirt, but finding out its too tight.
6. The fact that I weighed more than any guy I've ever dated.
5. Having to lie about your weight on your driver's licence
4. Sitting with a group of guys who are making fun of fat women...I told them to "quit it, guys" and they said, "oh, we're not talking about you.. we're talking about big chicks, like that weigh more than 200lbs!" I was 230ish at the time. I just glared the look of death.
3. Being told I carry my weight well.
2. Meeting a guy and getting along only to find out they just want to introduce them to you skinny friend.
1. Worrying about "muffin tops"...you know, when your pants a too snug and your fat begins to puff out above your pants.

and 2 more bonuses.. LOL.

Having your brother comment about how thick my arms are and wishing he had arms as thick as mine (then flexing his biceps in front of you).

Stepping on the Doctors scale.. and the medical technician sliding the bigger weight thing to 150lbs to start....and they move the smaller slider ALL the way to the end and so they have to move the bottom weight thing to 200lb and the move the smaller slider BACKWARDS! :lol:

BTW, this is the first thread I read all the way through... you guys got really deep, didn't you. :p

[bigtoevin]

great posts everyone!

i can relate to a lot of what you are writing about.

almost 5 women (including strangers and acquaintances) have asked my wife "when is the baby due?" when she wasn't pregnant. i know comments like that devastated her.

keep on keeping on...

[starchile]

Wow---I always find it interesting that this thread is still going!!! I think I started it in like 2002 or something!! Just goes to show that we are all experiencing very similar feelings of being on the outside of our society...and sometimes even our OWN FAMILIES!!!

BIG WARM HUGS TO EVERYONE WHO POSTED!!!

T

[imlosingit]

great posts everyone!

i can relate to a lot of what you are writing about.

almost 5 women (including strangers and acquaintances) have asked my wife "when is the baby due?" when she wasn't pregnant. i know comments like that devastated her.

keep on keeping on...

My 2 answers I have used for this My dh and I decided it would be in about 2 years.

or

9 months from the time I get pregnant.

[bigtoevin]

hi!

what does "dh" stand for?

(I love your 2nd answer!)

[imlosingit]

dear husband

[bigtoevin]

ty (thank you)

[mermaiden]

One word: chaffing

[michiepez]

I have many of the same reasons, but the latest one hit me hard. My 5 year ols was invited to a pool party and the mother wanted all of the moms to be in the pool with their own child. None of the moms of my son's friends are over 140lbs. and they were all complaining about having to put on a bathng suit. There was no way I was getting into a suit. I had to lie about why I could not go in and I cried as I watched all the moms enjoying this time with their child. I have to do this for him as well as for health.

[snappy]

1. i hate having gained 50 pounds from taking anti-depressants for 10 years. i bought into thinking that i needed them, when all i needed was to take a b supplement and NOT eat sugar and refined carbs and and *poof* my depression is gone.

2. i hate having lost the past 10 years of my life because i was overweight. i was embarrassed to go places, never bought new clothes because they always looked awful and stopped dating. now, i'm 41 and never got married because i was fat when i should have been out there meeting someone.

3. i hate not being able to wear a short sleeve shirt or tank tops because my upper arms are HUGE. i have to hunt to find 3/4 sleeve tops for summer and i hate them.

4. i hate all of my thin friends constantly trying to get me to go to yoga with them. i make excuses, but the real reason is that i feel too embarrassed at this weight to do it.

5. i hate having to wear skirts all the time because my thighs are so big. i can't wait until i lose enough weight to buy a pair of jeans!! yippee! i haven't worn jeans in 10 years!!

6. i hate having to duck out of the way when people are taking pictures. the only photo i have allowed in years is the before photo in my profile. and when i saw it, i started my LC diet the next day because i was so horrified by how puffy my face was. i don't even recognize myself.

7. i hate having to hide when i see someone in public who i haven't seen in a while. it's happened several times when i said hello to someone and they didn't recognize me because of my weight gain.

thanks, i feel a lot better!! :)

[sweetlisa2]

well I will add my 2 cents here maybe it will put me in a better mood today .:help:

my #1 reason I hate being fat is my husband not being attracted to me anymore,
#2, I feel ugly like no man would ever want me until I lose this weight.
#3 ,my neibor lady asked me is I was pregnant one day I was honest and said no I am just fat.
#4, people in public acting as if I am invisable.
#5, not being able to wear whatever I want and look good.
#6, I get tired real easy, and feel old
#7, I hate not feeling sexy anymore

[sweetlisa2]

oh I forgot a few!.

Stretch marks!
once you lose the weight:
saggy breasts!
and loose skin on tummy!.
trying to figure out how to save $8K for plastic surgery due to all the loose skin.
still its better to be thin and have loose skin which you can cover quite well with some clothes, then to continue to be overweight.

[bigtoevin]

1. P
2. I
3. C
4. T
5. U
6. R
7. E
8. S

[betharoo0]

#1 reason for me is "when is your baby due?" AGHHHHHHHHH

[bigtoevin]

the next time someone asks you that, tell them "9 months after my husband/boyfriend gets me pregnant."

[imlosingit]

or 9 months after I get pregnant...no reference to bf/dh

[Equinox]

When I was about ten or so, and a fat child, my family went to a restaurant sometime close to christmas. Julebord, it's a tradition here in Norway, but I don't know what it's called elsewhere or if it's traditional elsewhere.

Anyway, the restaurant staff thought it would be GREAT FUN for the kids to be weighed before they ate, and then afterwards to see how much they had "gained" after stuffing themselves, and they gave us a "diploma" with before/after weights. My brother didn't particularly mind, I don't think, he's always been skinny, but I was mortified... Shy as I was, I didn't dare say no, either.

How do these idiots come up with these things?!

[starchile]

OMG!!! Equinox! I would have LOST MY MIND! That sounds horrible!!!

It's amazing what we have to go through.

Thank you for sharing an obviously VERY painful memory.

Hugs

[SaphhireX]

I saw this and HAD to add to it....

1. The PAIN of trying to do anything physical! Standing even long enough to wash dishes is agony!

2. Not being able to wear jeans because I can't sit down without feeling cut in half.

3. Actually over hearing other women talk about "..how BIG she is" and then seeing the embarassed looks on their faces when I walk by seconds later.

4. Have a complete male stranger tell you that "you're FAT" and he's georgous. :(

5. Being out of breath just getting in and out of a car.

6. Be self-conscious when you go to eat and someone picks the "all you can eat" buffet.

7. Not being able to squeeze between the tables and chairs at restaurants.

8. Having to make sure you spray all the "fat rolls" with deodorant so you dont' smell.

9. Sweating anyway and worrying that the above mentioned deodorant doesn't work.

10. Not being able to wear a swimsuit AT ALL because of saggy skin on your arms, boobs and inner thighs.

11. Wanting to go to the gym and being too embarassed because everyone there is already thin.

12. Wishing I was somewhere different and sometimes someone different.

13. Having my b/f tell me that he wishes I was more self confident and not appearing to understand all the emotional issues of being fat most of my life.

14. The terrible aloneness because you're not confident enough to go on dates.

15. Wanting to have someone love you even though you're fat.

[joylorene]

Saphhirex - A BIG HUG!! It'll get better!

[bull999999]

4. Have a complete male stranger tell you that "you're FAT" and he's georgous. :(

How can you find a guy like that to be georgous? That's just plain rude and that guy doesn't have an ounce of manners.

[SaphhireX]

It was his physical appearance that was georgeous, not his inner self. My head told me he was a jerk, but it still hurt. I know that men like that are not someone I would be interested in but it still hurts to be judged by my appearance without being given a chance for someone to get to know me.

[Azure]

Going low carb, losing weight, and failing over and over again, winding up back where I was.

Going to the beach with my friends, and each step sinking past my ankles in the sand.

[HAPPYTHIN]

1. Not feeling comfortable in my own skin.
2. Being called a Big Girl.
3. Gaining and losing the same weight year after year.
4. Having an ex boyfriend (that I traveled from the US to Jamaica to visit) say, "You were sexier in highschool." :bash:
5. Not feeling like I'm good enough.
6. Not wanting to date until I reach a certain weight.
7. Not being able to shop in the stores that I love.
8. Having people say to me, "At one point, weren't you losing weight."
9. Having people stare at every piece of food that I put in my mouth.
10. Worrying more about what "people" think. I need to forget what people think and make a change for ME. :)

[2007]

4. Having an ex boyfriend (that I traveled from the US to Jamaica to visit) say, "You were sexier in highschool." :bash:


Now that wasn't very nice of him. Bumba clad jamaican boy!

Funny though, I use to travel to Jamaica all the time because the men there seem to be the only ones that liked me and didn't mind my size. In fact, they use to tell me how much they loved the bigger women and that this was their women of choice. Of course, I knew it was just because the blood clads just wanted to get out of there to come to America, but I didn't care, I just loved all the attention they gave me. I loved them coming up to me all the time, making sure I was never alone, I always had a date if I wanted, they always wanted to be your boyfriend for whatever amount of time you were going to be there. Besides, it was my vacation and I knew that I would have a blast. I felt so confident there that I would adorn my bathing suit without a thought. I thought I looked darn good too.I must look good...I'd say to myself...because all these men keep telling me so. Quite a few have even asked me to marry them. Again, even though I know it was just them trying to see what they could get out of an American women or trying to get their way to the States. I really didn't care...I always had such a blast everytime...then I come back to America...and I'm just the big fat lady again.

http://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r238/AussieTPP/Animated%20Stuff/3cf61eba-1.gif
Delight yourself in the Lord and He will grant you the desires of you heart ~Psalms 37:4

[winterrose]

When I was little I weighed 120 pounds and I wasn't even 5' tall, and I couldn't buy clothing in any of the "cool" little girl stores like limited too because I didn't fit into any of it!! left the mall crying several times because no one accepted girls who didn't buy their clothing there :( experiences like that made me super conscious about my weight and too shy to make friends before high school :/ so that even when I was 5' 4" and 120 pounds, having not gained any weight, I THOUGHT I WAS FAT!!

[CNYMom]

I'm game. In no particular order:

#1) Being afraid my weight will affect my daughter's social development
#2) Refusing to have a family portrait done because of the way I'd look in it.
#3) Refusing to look at myself in the mirror.
#4) Clothes shopping for functionality rather than pleasure ("Is that shirt long/loose enough to hide my stomach?", "Do those pants stretch?")
#5) Buying only stretch pull-on denim pants (Goes along with #4, I guess)
#6) Avoiding taking my daughter to fairs and amusement parks because I'm terrified I won't be able to fit on the rides.
#7) Hating putting on a swim suit, but doing it anyway so my daughter can swim.
#8) Mother/daughter overnight summer camp.
#9) Having to squeeze into a booth.
#10) Knowing no one will ever love me the way I look now. (boy, that sounds pathetic!)
#11) Hearing my mother talk about needing to lose weight herself, when she's 2 inches taller and 40 pounds lighter. And then hearing all about WW after she's joined.
#12) Hearing my sister talk about how she had to gain weight before she could pass a physical for one of the armed forces. (She's one of those who can eat anything and everything and still lose weight)
#13) Having a doctor tell you you wouldn't be morbidly obese if you didn't eat so much (even after having been handed daily menus showing I really didn't), and telling you to go back to low fat/high carb because it's the only one that works. (Except, it doesn't, at least not for me)

This was a really good exercise in reminding myself why I'm doing this. Apparently, I could go on, and on, and on! I remember being on my first diet (slim fast shakes made with water rather than milk, no less) in 5th grade. I remember thinking (and being told) I was fat at 120 pounds and 5'2" in 7th grade. Ah, memories!

[bigtoevin]

CNYMom,

Congratulations on losing 31 lbs. so far!

That's amazing!

Keep going!

You may even want to print your 13 reasons (in a small font), on a small piece of paper and carry it with you at all times, as a reminder why you're doing this.

I know you're thinking about the possible embarassment if someone found it, but that must pale compared to what those 13 reasons embarass you.

After a few weeks, you probably won't need it anymore.

Anyway, thanks for posting.

You can do it!


:)

[MNLisa B]

These could also work for the last straw wake up calls as well...

Not being able to wear sleeveless shirts

Seeing the horrified look on DH's face when I managed to squeeze myself into a cheap Walmart bathing suit during our summer vacation last June

The realization I weighed more than most of the baseball players on our local team

Being the fattest person in my work department

Weighing almost double what my 20 yr old DDs weigh

Sweating like a pig in the summer, spring, fall and winter

Living to eat versus eating right to live

[tmatrocks]

I hated flying when I was so heavy....

I dreaded meeting new people when I was so heavy...

I hated my low self-esteem when I was so heavy...

[xxStephxx]

I agree with them all!

Here are some of my own:

-my thighs rubbing together
-not being able to share clothes with my thin friends
-shopping with my thin friends when they dont even come CLOSE to fitting into anything at plus size stores.
-Swimsuits
-trying on clothes and find that all the 2xs and 2xs are too small
-feeling invisible
-always being self consious

[Sandollar]

OK...I'll play!

What do I hate about being fat?

* My big feet. They've gone from a 9.5 to a 10w. I can only buy shoes at Payless...or wear men's shoes. I miss nice shoes!

* Hygiene. Everything from shaving my legs to wiping my butt to covering any skin that touches with talcum powder....especially my navel.

* Pap tests. The doctors always tell you to "scoot" your bum down the table. Yeah...right! Get the winch!

*Being invisible to men.

*Restaurant chairs with arms.

*Wanting to be active...trying to do an activity you once enjoyed...and having your body fail you.

*Back to shoes....I can't wear the high heels I love because I am so heavy and there is too much pressure on my toes.

* Plus-sized clothing is only made for large-breasted women. I've always been a "B" cup...no matter what I weighed...so in order for a shirt to fit over my hips, it billows at the front. Now I only wear stretchy fabric.

*"Friends" that want you as an eating buddy. Friends that sabotage your efforts the second you start to look better than them.

*Thinking you look really great at a party...feeling fabulous...then seeing a photo somebody took of you.

*What I hate the most is that being fat was AVOIDABLE. And I hate the way being fat makes me feel like a failure.

[joylorene]

OK...I'll play!

What do I hate about being fat?


*"Friends" that want you as an eating buddy. Friends that sabotage your efforts the second you start to look better than them.

*Thinking you look really great at a party...feeling fabulous...then seeing a photo somebody took of you.

*What I hate the most is that being fat was AVOIDABLE. And I hate the way being fat makes me feel like a failure.


Boy can I relate to these!!! My sister who had the lap band procedure done is always trying to sabotage my efforts - UGH!!!

And pictures??? NO WAY! We haven't had a family picture taken in so long and my oldest will be graduating high school this year and it would be nice to have one.

[LadyAtkinz]

OK, I just have to vent here for a moment.

I need to express some things that embarrass me about being my size. Some of it is my problem but some of the blame goes to our society for not recognizing that not everyone is a size 6 and that PISSES me off!