Journal Issues

[Scarlet]

I am feeling quite down and defeated because people hardly ever post in my journal. I know it's all about give and take so I have been posting in quite a few members journals on a daily basis but when I do so I am usually ignored like I didn't post anything at all, they ignore me like I have offended them or something. I am getting to the stage where I really wonder have I said something that has alienated a whole bunch of people or what?

I am only back serious lowcarbing for a bit and I feel like I really need help and support. Last time I was losing weight as opposed to maintaining I had an extremly supportive boyfriends and friends here but now I seem to only really have mysef. There have been 1 or 2 people in my journal lately but noone regularly. What am I doing wrong?

[kuukuu]

Sometimes when I read someone's journal I feel like I'm peeking into their private lives. Sort of like going to someone's house, going to the bathroom and looking in the medicine cabinet--or worse, going through their nightstands.

I usually like to ask permission first before I read through a person's journal. That way they've got a heads-up. And if they decide they don't want me to go in, (hasn't happened yet) then I have decided I'm not going to take offense.

As far as my journal goes, my life is an open book and anyone who wishes, may go right in. Hopefully when they read through, they realize I'm here because I'm not all there (Teehee!), and that menopause and life takes their tolls.

So I guess I'm formally asking permission to read through your journal if you don't mind.

[Mousesmom]

Scarlet, we really are here for you..... I personally don't go into the journals section because I'm not a journalling kind of person.

I have felt that posts I have spent a long time typing and thinking about went ignored. I thought about why that was and then realized I was overthinking the whole thing.....

I don't think you have offended anyone.

Take care, Julie

[Kristine]

I don't usually read peoples' journals, either. If I do, it's just to check out what they've been eating so I can help them answer another question. I use my journal more for tracking/venting than the social draw, so I rarely make comments in other peoples' journals.

You know what would probably work better for you? Try starting a challenge in the Challenges forum, ask for a buddy in that forum, or start some threads on the things you want to talk about. :idea: I bet people would feel more welcome to comment in those threads than your journal.

I'm sorry you're feeling alone. :bhug:

[Scarlet]

Thanks for all the support people. After posting this I have realised I feel ignored by a certain two people so maybe I should just 1) stop posting in their journal or 2) Send them a PM. I don't mind them not posting in mine, it's just when I reply in theirs I am ignored. I feel sad because I want to encourage them but doesn't seem to work. Oh well.... Kuukuu of course come to my journal :) :)

[cs_carver]

1. My journal is private, on real paper, and locked up at the end of the day. That's just my approach.

2. I have certain social interactions wherein I do what I can to "encourage" people, but it is rarely reciprocal, and I almost never know that my actions have been useful in real time. Sometimes I'll hear that what I said made a difference, but it's generally much later. (This is true both in-person and on the internet.)

3. I enjoy my time on these boards (obviously, by my post-count), but I don't think it can fully replace interaction with real people. I met my current BF on-line (match.com) but it would not be a useful relationship if we hadn't gone public pretty quickly.

4. You made your own correction--it can be much more useful to say, "these two people are not responding the way I had hoped they would" than "nobody loves me." If it's two people, you can take much more effective action. Try different people. Try a PM. Leave them be. Implement a policy of "three strikes, you're out." Whatever you need to do to not chew on yourself.

5. Someone got miffed (and maybe more than one but I only heard it from one) that I had PMing turned off. I do this at work and I don't want / can't afford any more time than I give it. Hardly personal, but the poster was offended for a bit. Oh well.

Good luck.

[paganrn]

I guess I see my journal as a tool, used to vent, to say i'm proud of me, to write and face things that usually I can't. If other people want to post a comment that's fine, but that's not the big deal for me
d

[Tarrenae]

Hi Scarlet I feel the same way as you,sometimes I guess people do not know what to say for various reasons,or perhaps they don't want to say anything.I wish more people would post in my journal too.

[PS Diva]

Sometimes I just don't have anything helpful to add, so I don't post. It doesn't mean that I am not interested, or that I don't care.

[huggs2ewe]

Hi Scarlet, All really good points on journals. I invite you to join on a regular challenge or support thread, or start your own. Once you keep posting you will find that there is a lot of support here for you. It is better on the other threads than the journal threads. check out mine :) it's just me talking so I can look back and remember my journey. But I have a couple of regular threads that I keep in daily contact with and we get to know each other and banter back and forth. Once you find a good one stick with it and before long you will recognize different regulars. I used to be on a lot a couple of years ago then drifted away and then off this woe. Now I am back and this is where I come to to keep up with the plan.


take care hope to keep seeing you on

[caroline12]

Look at all the messages that you have rec'd in this thread just by starting a new one! :clap:

I have not started a journal, but I have noticed that when I start a new thread or reply on other threads that the responce is awsome. :D

Try not to get down in fact look at this as a new tactic. New threads bring up discussion topics and people will post. :

[NoBREAD]

Sometimes I wish I had more journal buddies too. I only have a few. But then I reallize that I am lucky to have these few buddies. I'd rather have a few good friends than a lot of aquaintences that really don't know me.

I'm pretty much open in my journal too. I think you just have to be yourself and be open to making new friends. I try to find a common ground and build from that. And try not to take it personally. Some people are just clueless about the give and take of journaling.