Binging

[fluffybear]

Anyone else have a problem with binging? Usually in the media we only hear about binging as related to bulemia or other eating disorders where the person gets terribly thin, but binging is just as much a problem for some overweight people like myself. I have 2 problems. One is that my husband is not trying to lose weight so he insists on buying his normal food which includes a lot of chips, regular cokes, sugar for cereal, sugary snacks, etc. I can usually avoid most of those things because I am not a sugar freak unless it is something with chocolate in it. Then I am completely wiped out, because I can't seem to resist chocolate. Also he insists on buying a lot of bread, English muffins, frozen pancakes and waffles, toaster pastried, cereal, etc. Neither of us were very big on eggs and meat for breakfast, except on occaison. We always eat something quick to prepare on weekdays and that is usually something with carbs. The other problem is we love to go to the movies every weekend and rent videos on weeknights. My husband always buys a big popcorn and chocolate goober candy. It 's like he can't have one without the other. MORE tempation for me. :( . We also have been traveling a lot and its hard to eat healthy while traveling. Then there was Halloween and leftover candy and now the holidays are coming up. I know these are just excuses, but they are also real situations. I feel defeated. I tend to try to binge or "eat up" all the "bad" food so that I can "start my diet" the next week. Of course the next week is always sometime in the future and never comes. I really need encouragment. I am very discouraged. I know I shouldn't think about weight loss as "being on a diet" but since I try to eat so differently than my husband, I don't know how else to think of it.

[penelope]

I read one word here. Sabotage. That is what is happening. It is not you against the world, it is you against your husband.
Who wants to win the most.

[fluffybear]

Well I don't think he is neccessarily trying to sabotage me. We've been married for 38 years. If he wanted to do that, he would have done it a long time before now. LOL. I think we just got comfortable with our lifestyle of loafing and eating. However, he isn't neccessarily trying very hard either. One of the problems is we grocery shop together and he puts things into the cart like a little kid would do. I begged him not to get the chunky peanut butter last month because I know what a temptation that is, but he insisted on it anyway and guess who ate most of it--ME! Ok I know I fell completely off the wagon. Yes you would think that after all this time my husband and I would be more of a team, but it seems we are more like "partners in crime."

[Dogbert199]

Man oh man, this is a dangerous subject.

Not because it's evil, per se, but because in a triple digits forum I'll bet we got some stories here.

I know when I've binged - - and I mean when I've BINGED - - it's always one for the record books.

Halloween candy, pies, cakes, childrens cereals, McRibs. . .

You know, I bet there would be a miles worth of responses for who's had the worst binge here.

But the bottom line is you have to break the binge or the binge will break you.

[big_mama]

I have the same problem...although I have to say it's getting slightly better. I give myself permission to eat certain things. Of course I still let it get the best of me sometimes as well...

I've been searching for reading material on binging. Because I think I'll eat all I can because I have "messed up" already. So, I try to do better. It works part of the time and the other part of the time it doesn't.

[fatnfedup]

This is an intresting subject for me. I always felt like I binged before, but when I truly diet I don't binge. If I eat something bad I will eat it be done. Like the other day I had pizza for the first time since start (2 mo). I had my 3 slices and that was that. I will however eat too much of something "legal". If I get a hold of some SF chocolate or candy... I eat way to much.

When you guys say binge do you mean, you eat something, then go clean out the cupboard after more "illegal" stuff? I definetaly did that before I started SB. I just get out of control.

As for the husband issue...(sigh).mine is skinny and eats chocolate and ice cream constantly. He is very supportive and doesn't eat it in front of me (even though it doesn't bother me) BUT he does encourage me to treat myself on occassion. As soon as I treat myself I will be off plan and eating everything again. I just don't think he gets it.

It brings of that other issue..maybe they kinda want to keep us fat after all. ? Do you think that's the case at your house Fluffy?

[fluffybear]

I binge in 2 ways. I grew up in a family with 6 kids and not much money. So throwing out food was completely unheard of. I don't care what we are "supposed" to do. If there is anything "illegal" in my house before I begin a diet, I don't throw it out, I eat it up. That is one type of binging. The other kind I do is when I can't resist temptation like at the movies and my husband and I will polish off a big bag of popcorn and a large box of chocolate goobers. My biggest temptation is probably chocolate candy. I bought 3 big bags of Halloween candy but it rained and we didn't have many trick or treaters. I sent some of the candy to work with my husband to share with co-workers the next day, but secretly saved a bunch for myself and ate it all within 3 days. As far as my husband wanting to keep me fat, no I don't think that is the case at all. He loved it when I was thin. However he never gave me any compliments so I sort of thought he didn't care, but he really does. I think he thinks that if I go on a diet I will eliminate all his favorite foods and he is not willing to give anything up. He wants to keep all his goodies and have snacks at hand all the time. He feels that if I diet, HE will be deprived. Since he has to have his goodies at home all the time, I am surrounded by temptation and I just don't seem to have much will power to resist the temptation.

[serea]

My husband eats all that junk too so we have it in the house. I have found that if I stay low carb I don't have cravings and have no desire to eat off plan. However I try not to have it in front of me all the time. I have a separate cabinet for all his snacks that I never open and a separte shelf in the freezer for his ice cream and other junk. Out of sight, out of mind I guess. I also make sure that I always have food that I like and can eat in the house. I have avoided cheating or bingeing since July. I know having all that stuff around makes it harder. Just keep doing what you have to do for yourself. Good Luck.

[MicheleK]

My husband is a mess...lol. He's ex-military and in amazing shape. He can eat whatever he wants and never gain a pound. He's really not all that active anymore either...still hasn't gained any weight.

He likes to eat canned soups (which I hate, lol) and burgers, pizza and candy (which of course I love). It's really only hard on the weekends. He'll sit on the couch with a big bowl of popcorn or honey almonds while we watch tv. He even says..."oh taste this it's good!!". We had a talk about it, I asked him, please don't ask me to taste that junk...I cannot have it.

He's calmed down a lot, he used to expect me to eat like him...I finally explained I can't and be healthy...he finally quit asking.

It's a tough call..I feel for you tho. Having illegal foods in the house is the hardest challenge for me sticking to the WOE. I realize tho, that the final decision is mine, and unless he's forcing food down my throat I CAN say NO. Somedays it's just a little tougher ;)

[potatofree]

if he can't/won't give it up, there's not much to do other than try to find a way to NOT eat it yourself. Since you can't change someone else's behavior (without the use of a cattle prod and some duct tape...but that's another story ;) ) it must seem like an uphill battle.

You're the only one who knows your own life, but as for me... the more I eat the carbs, the more I want the carbs. I have to talk myself through it sometimes and decide if I want to feel better, or have that ________. I'm lucky that I control the groceries, but when Laura was home, she was willing to confine my "weak foods" to one cupboard away from my usual path.

It helped.

I think an awful lot of us have binged to one degree or another. I've done some damage, too. Sometimes, I still feel the pull.

[big_mama]

When I binge...I eat everything off plan that I can possibly find, until I'm full. The good thing is, I get full faster now so I don't eat as much. It does make it alot more difficult to get back on plan. Now that I am at day 3 of re-starting the cravings are pretty much gone. My family always has their high carb foods, even though they are healthy. Such as fruits, popcorn, bread, etc. It's not meant to sabatoge me either. I sabatoge myself. My family is encouraging. I don't understand why it's hard for me to eat a mandarin orange and leave it at that. Or eat a piece of pizza and leave it at that. This is what my goal is. To eat a little bit of carbs and leave it at that, then eat LC after that and maintain or lose weight.

Is this too much to ask for??

[potatofree]

It might just BE too much to ask for. If you're very sensitive to carbs (as most of us here are) your blood sugar overreacts to "just a bit of the carbs" and makes it damn near impossible to leave it at that. It can be DONE, but white-knuckling it the whole way.

[rabrijumo]

Hi everyone, My name is Rachael, I have three kids boy 20 y/o , Boy 15 y/o, and girl 13 y/o.
I have been married 23 years. I was always "heavy" . lol i thought i was FAT then gawd thats 230 lbs ago. anyway back to the topic at hand bingeing and husbands:
my husband has always been tall and mod wt, has a beer gut now but not someone you would look at and think fat guy.
My oldest son is 6' 2.5" and not even 135 lbs can you imagine?!
my daughter is 5' 4" 110 (i live vicariously thru her, low rise jeans, cute tops etc)
My middle boy is the one i worry about, he is 6' 3" 240, he has love handles and manboobs, when he heard i was going back to low carb he told me he is going to follow it to.
I digress
my husband buys all the crap you can think of toaster waffles, rolls, sugar cereal, pancake mix, cookies, etc
when we started dating many years ago we always went out to eat, and boy did we. I got fatter and fatter with all the high carb high fat food, then the pregnancies. The funny thing is As an obease women I LOST wt when pregnant (due to healthier eating and no beer) but breast feeding made me a starving maniac i put on 30 lbs with each child during the year i Breast fed.
I am a chocaholic can eat whole bags of candy or cookies pints of icecream. Since I was about 10 y/o I have been fat and loved candy spent my allowence on it.
I dieted on and off for years doing low fat low calorie diets that made me feel like CRAP. when I did low carb in 2004 I finally found a "diet" that made me feel good. It was the first time I ever silenced that little voice inside my head that says "eat it, eat it now, eat it all! NOW!" what a blessing that control was.
Now I have to make this "diet" a WOL/WOE. for my health for my family.

will my husband help or sabotage that is the q I think he would like it if i lost the wt but then his raging jealousy might rear its ugly head. I hope our mutual health scares have made enough of an impression on him.

guess I have rattled on too much Thanks for listening RACHAEL

[LET_ME_BE]

i have 2 kids. age 2 and 12. So i do have some sugary carby things in my house! i have binged a few times. really, really bad...... and it always starts off with "i'll just have a few fries....". Once i have those few fries, it's a wrap! i will eat every carby item in my house! back to back! fries, pizza, cereal, donuts, bagels, pasta.... etc.... til i literally feel sick to my stomach! i make sure i get to eat EVERYTHING i'm not "allowed" to! i feel like my body actually goes into shock. vision gets blurry, my body and brain get lethargic and i literally can't move! bloating and diarhea. horrible feeling. i'm one of those people that just can't have a lil bit and be ok.

i've finally [I]realized this about myself and know that i can't just have that "taste". i've put my mind and heart into this WOE this time around. I think that's the key! you have to be dedicated in your mind and heart to succeed on this. No one else can be accountable for what YOU put into your body.

i feel great right now! my energy level has doubled and my skin is glowing. i haven't weighed myself in a while either. doesn't even matter what the scales say. my clothes are looser and i'm feeling good.

[fatnfedup]

Let Me BE- I can't believe your skin is glowing. Mine is a wreck since I started the diet. I feel much better but geez do I have some zits! I'm not a blemishy person so I figure it's got to be the diet. Argghh..

I'm with you on the taste just leads to the whole bag!

[SunnyCarol]

My husband is a mess...lol. He's ex-military and in amazing shape. He can eat whatever he wants and never gain a pound. He's really not all that active anymore either...still hasn't gained any weight.
I propose we all get together and TAR and FEATHER him! :lol: That just ain't right!

Sunny!

[SunnyCarol]

I don't understand why it's hard for me to eat a mandarin orange and leave it at that. Or eat a piece of pizza and leave it at that. This is what my goal is. To eat a little bit of carbs and leave it at that, then eat LC after that and maintain or lose weight.

Is this too much to ask for??Probably. When you are a carb addict, it's the same as being a recovering alcoholic/drug addict and expecting to drink just a little once in a while or only snort one line of coke on the weekends. Doesn't work. Addiction to sugar and starch is just as real as addiction to drugs and alcohol. Especially since you have only lost 20 of your pounds, it's not reasonable to think you can eat pizza, etc., and still lose or to be over your addictions, already, or the urge to binge. You have to overcome the addictions, first, before you try to add back in those evil carbs. You can't do low carb with over 100 pounds to lose and expect to do it while still eating the same foods that got you to this place to begin with. If you were able to control how much of the carby food you ate in the first place, you would have done it. I had to stay off even legal foods for months because I couldn't control how much I ate of them. I was finally able to have peanut butter back in my life, but not fruit. I love fruit too much to stop at a small portion. I'm not even thinking about adding any bread or pizza crust back--I know I still can't handle it. The choice is mine, and I had to choose to eliminate the 'bad' stuff for good if I want to keep losing and keep the health I have gained through this way of life.

Sunny!

[SunnyCarol]

I binge in 2 ways. I grew up in a family with 6 kids and not much money. So throwing out food was completely unheard of. I don't care what we are "supposed" to do. If there is anything "illegal" in my house before I begin a diet, I don't throw it out, I eat it up. That is one type of binging. The other kind I do is when I can't resist temptation like at the movies and my husband and I will polish off a big bag of popcorn and a large box of chocolate goobers. My biggest temptation is probably chocolate candy. I bought 3 big bags of Halloween candy but it rained and we didn't have many trick or treaters. I sent some of the candy to work with my husband to share with co-workers the next day, but secretly saved a bunch for myself and ate it all within 3 days. As far as my husband wanting to keep me fat, no I don't think that is the case at all. He loved it when I was thin. However he never gave me any compliments so I sort of thought he didn't care, but he really does. I think he thinks that if I go on a diet I will eliminate all his favorite foods and he is not willing to give anything up. He wants to keep all his goodies and have snacks at hand all the time. He feels that if I diet, HE will be deprived. Since he has to have his goodies at home all the time, I am surrounded by temptation and I just don't seem to have much will power to resist the temptation.Because you grew up in a way that you don't waste food (as I did) is just part of the problem. Since your husband wants the junk food and will eat it all, no matter what, it will not be wasted, so you don't have the excuse of eating it to keep from throwing it away. Your addiction to carbs is what caused you to 'secretly' save the candy for yourself. It was not going to go to waste, it would be eaten by someone else. Carb addiction is very real and just as hard to break, or worse, as alcohol or drug addiction. It won't be easy with the junk food in the house, but you can do it. It might help to make a commitment each day and not even try to think ahead to a long stretch. Just one day at a time. Maybe one hour at a time. Your health is worth it.

Sunny!

[Dogbert199]

Hi everyone, Rachael

My middle boy is the one i worry about, he is 6' 3" 240, he has love handles and manboobs, when he heard i was going back to low carb he told me he is going to follow it to.
I digress



Rachael,

When I was 15 I was a big kid, about 210, lost a bunch of weight in the military but then over the last 15 years (honestly, over 10) I became almost 400 pounds.

NOW is the time to nip it in the bud and help your son become physically active so that he won't continue to build fat cells through his adolescence.

I don't know you or him, but this is a forum so I'm forum-ing. . . get him to get excited about something physically active AND aerobic (i.e. Active martial arts - not yoga/tai chi/ aikido but tae kwan do, olympic style judo, etc; soccer if he's into that [i'm not and you can't pay me to watch -- a great game is 4 hrs and the score is 1-0 - yawn], track and field, anything that engages calisthenics. . . as young as he is he'll be able to burn off all the fat in no time, literally. . . his little metabolism is hyperactive right now and you can save him, truly SAVE him from himself - he's too young to know any better at this point.

Most boys are into martial arts from movies and active style karate is always considered "cool". I saw this as an Aikidoist who knows that while I love aikido, it sure doesn't raise my heart rate for 45 min at a time. . .

Kyokushin, shotokan, goju ryu, shorin ryu are all good choices and are all karate.

Tae kwan do/ Hapkido are popular Korean styles, and TKD I believe is in the olympics now.

Judo has been an olympic sport for decades.

Sorry, just one of those things I wished I did when I was 15. Not that it would keep me from getting fat, but if I had 20 years in a martial art at this age, I know I wouldn't be nearly 400 pounds.

[fluffybear]

I propose we all get together and TAR and FEATHER him! :lol: That just ain't right!

Sunny!

Well if it makes anyone feel better, my husband is more overweight than I am, but he just doesn't seem to care. He says he wants to live a long time and is concerned about his health and he did finally go to the doctor this summer. He had not seen a doctor since he got out of the Air Force 14 years ago! The doctor immediately put him on cholesterol lowering medicine. However my husband has not changed his eating habits at all. I have asked him to try to lose weight with me and here is his response: "OK I will try to lose weight as long as I don't have to give up sugar, regular soft drinks, bread, popcorn and candy." I guess you can see the kind of mindset I am up against. :rolleyes:

[amsears777]

I think that if it is around me then I will have a problem too. I already told my daughter M (13) that we are not ordering or eating out for a year. She wanted to just die. But oh well!! Better Mom means a better family!! I really mean I am taking the year off and dedicating it to myself and this Way of Life. And I am not asking permission either!! I am still single by the way so with a husband it is little more difficult. I am wondering if he thinks the new you will leave him. I had one relationship where my guy used flip out if I said I was eating healthier or going to the gym. It was a very difficult time. I am wishing you all the best!

Take care
Manda

[LET_ME_BE]

fatnfedup, the first week my skins was dry as hell! i started taking my vitamins and a teaspoon of apple cider vinegar(yuk!) and my skin cleared up immediately! Don't know if it was the vitamins or apple cider vinegar, but it's working! do you take vitamins?

Let Me BE- I can't believe your skin is glowing. Mine is a wreck since I started the diet. I feel much better but geez do I have some zits! I'm not a blemishy person so I figure it's got to be the diet. Argghh..

I'm with you on the taste just leads to the whole bag!

[Nebula]

I binged everyday for almost 18 months. I used to eat until I was sick and then wait 20 minutes to settle down and start eating again. I never voluntarily purged, but I've eaten to that point. Then, I would go back out and eat again. I've spent so much money on fast food that it makes me sick just thinking about it.

I would generally eat two meals a day. Both were fit to serve at least three people. The people at the fast food counters knew me by the sight of my car in the drive-thru. I use to think I was clever by rotating the various fast food joints each day, but in retrospect all that did was cost me some extra fuel for my vehicle.

If you've ever seen the movie "Supersize Me," that's what it was like, except I ate enough each meal to feed three adults. Although, I refused to watch it up until recently because I knew it would shatter whatever comfort I was seeking at the time.

Frankly, I'm surprised I'm not already dead. I'm happy for a second chance.

[fatnfedup]

Let me Be-[! Don't know if it was the vitamins or apple cider vinegar, but it's working! do you take vitamins?[/QUOTE]

I am going to start the vitamins. I have them. Just can't seem to remember! I eat so much vinegar, you'd think if that were going to work for me it would have. I eat balsamic on salad a lot. If the vitamins don't work, I'm headed straight to the cider vinegar. I need HELP. I hate the zits! I sure can't complain though. Fluffy is up against a tougher issue. I need to thank my Husband today for being supportive. I'd have to get an apartment to survive. I hope she shows us just how strong she is!

[SunnyCarol]

I binged everyday for almost 18 months. I used to eat until I was sick and then wait 20 minutes to settle down and start eating again. I never voluntarily purged, but I've eaten to that point. Then, I would go back out and eat again. I've spent so much money on fast food that it makes me sick just thinking about it.

I would generally eat two meals a day. Both were fit to serve at least three people. The people at the fast food counters knew me by the sight of my car in the drive-thru. I use to think I was clever by rotating the various fast food joints each day, but in retrospect all that did was cost me some extra fuel for my vehicle.

If you've ever seen the movie "Supersize Me," that's what it was like, except I ate enough each meal to feed three adults. Although, I refused to watch it up until recently because I knew it would shatter whatever comfort I was seeking at the time.

Frankly, I'm surprised I'm not already dead. I'm happy for a second chance.Wow! Powerful testimony! We're behind you, Barry!

Sunny!

[Dogbert199]

I don't believe that any man actively WANTS his wife to be morbidly obese, or any obese for that matter.

I think that it's a matter of thoughtlessness, and I don't mean that negatively, I mean that in the sense of 'he doesn't think about it'.

I know Mrs Riggs and I have differences in what we think about. I think about food; she thinks about hair. I think about getting there fast; she thinks about getting there pretty.

We have a different worldview, with different priorities, and different approaches to EVERY thing. . .

Oh well, the miracle of marriage, huh?

[elaine140]

I don't know if it's necessarily sabotage when a husband refuses to change his lifestyle just because his wife is on a diet. Maybe he just wants to do what he wants to do. I have found some success compromising with my hubby though - now he only keeps his sugary stuff in his home office (not in the kitchen where I'm faced with it every day). Also I make sure I have low carb stuff around the house that I really really like - even if it costs a little more. So if he's there eating popcorn while we're watching a movie I don't have to sit there helplessly wishing I could join him - now I get some string cheese or sashimi or spicy pork rinds and eat as much as I want. Good luck to you!

[potatofree]

Well if it makes anyone feel better, my husband is more overweight than I am, but he just doesn't seem to care. He says he wants to live a long time and is concerned about his health and he did finally go to the doctor this summer. He had not seen a doctor since he got out of the Air Force 14 years ago! The doctor immediately put him on cholesterol lowering medicine. However my husband has not changed his eating habits at all. I have asked him to try to lose weight with me and here is his response: "OK I will try to lose weight as long as I don't have to give up sugar, regular soft drinks, bread, popcorn and candy." I guess you can see the kind of mindset I am up against. :rolleyes:

Yup, he doesn't want to, and the only way he'll be ready is either kicking and screaming, or watching you succeed and wanting it for himself.

You seem to be a real "giver", Fluffy. The trick for some people in your situation is to get to the point of accepting it's OKAY to put yourself and your own needs ahead of his sometimes. It doesn't mean you love him any less, it just means finding a way to work around his attitude and give yourself what you need. I've heard of couples going so far as to keep the one spouse's "forbidden" snacks in a locked cupboard if they feel the need for them so badly they can't be considerate enough of the other to keep them out of the house entirely.

[Donna I.]

Binging is scary stuff, I feel so out of control and hopeless when I am in the throes of a bad one. While I haven't had one since I started lowcarbing, I always feel the compulsion lurking in my subconcious. Its like it is waiting there for just the right moment of weakness, and it doesn't matter how successful I have been for the past year, I could go and blow all that hard work in one trip to the grocery store.
Once when I was a teenager I read a book called "Feeding the hungry heart" Once story in particular that I remember was about a woman that decided to eat her self to death. She piled tons of food around her, and then ate for days on end. She was found by the author (a Dr of some sort) and didn't die, but it is an image that remains with me, and I feel like "there but for the grace of God go I". I don't know if I will ever be able to rid myself of the compulsion.

[tedw]

I think that cycle of "I need to just eat the bad stuff and get it out of the way" is a dangerous one to get caught up in. Any time I've thought that way, about just finishing off whatever the junk is in the house to make way for healthier foods, it was never-ending. Really getting started required me to put the food aside, buy some healthy food, and let the junk be eaten by someone else or just sit. I found that even getting through a day or two of the LC eating suddenly made it easier to resist, because I knew I didn't have to eat those things and that I could make the choice upfront not to.

[potatofree]

The trick is finding a way to GET to that mindset, though. For me, this last time around getting back on the wagon, I had one of "those" moments when I started thinking I'd better finish off all the junk in the apartment before I re-started... my son asked if he could just skip his regular supper and have some nachoes.

I told him to dream on...

That made me think. I would never encourage him to hurry up and polish off all that Halloween candy by Monday...or "Make sure you eat up all that ice cream!"... so why was I thinking it was somehow a good thing for ME?

Because I wanted ice cream, I guess. <sigh>

I've decided to stop acting like a spoiled child and start treating myself with the same care and concern I do Steven.