My husband cannot stay erected.

[Amber11]

This is very frustrating and embarrasing. I cannot ask anyone I know about this problem, so I appreciated everyone's opinion. My period started on March 25th. I took clomid for five days during my period. My side started hurting on April 7th, so I figured I was ovulating. Sure enough the clearblue stick had two dark matching lines saying I was ovulating. On April 7th the stick had me ovulating, so I begged my DH to have sex. He tried April 7th, April 8th, but on April 9th, he could not stay erected and we did not have sex. On April 10th and April 11th, we had sex. Because he could not stay erected on April 9th, I may have missed my chance. It is becomming a problem for him to stay erected. Have anyone else had this problem. He says it is because he feels like a machine and cannot get into the mood because I am putting too much pressure on him. Last month, the same thing happened. He says it is too much pressure. How can I get pregant if he cannot stay erected? I am so frustrated. Did I miss my chance to get pregant, should I keep trying this month? Thanks

[emily30]

Oh Amber, do I know how you feel. We did fertility drugs for a years and ran into this problem often. The explanation is simple..... he has to perform on demand, essentially, you have done your part (having big mature follicles) and now it's his "job" to do his part. Talk about pressure for him. I found my best approach was don't tell him when I was ovulating, it really takes a ton of pressure off of him. Infertility or on demand intercourse really takes the fun out of trying to get pg and causes major anxiety.

[HarlieLadi]

Viagra works

[ReginaW]

This is very frustrating and embarrasing. I cannot ask anyone I know about this problem, so I appreciated everyone's opinion. My period started on March 25th. I took clomid for five days during my period. My side started hurting on April 7th, so I figured I was ovulating. Sure enough the clearblue stick had two dark matching lines saying I was ovulating. On April 7th the stick had me ovulating, so I begged my DH to have sex. He tried April 7th, April 8th, but on April 9th, he could not stay erected and we did not have sex. On April 10th and April 11th, we had sex. Because he could not stay erected on April 9th, I may have missed my chance. It is becomming a problem for him to stay erected. Have anyone else had this problem. He says it is because he feels like a machine and cannot get into the mood because I am putting too much pressure on him. Last month, the same thing happened. He says it is too much pressure. How can I get pregant if he cannot stay erected? I am so frustrated. Did I miss my chance to get pregant, should I keep trying this month? Thanks

How about instead of begging him to have sex on demand, you seduce him without telling him you're ovulating at that moment - ya know make him want to have sex because it's going to be FUN!

Oh - if you tested positive on the stick on the 7th - odds are you actually ovulated on the 8th or 9th....the sticks tell you when your LH is starting to increase (surge) which indicates that ovulation is near - it's usually 24-48 hours later, which is why if you are doing the IUI route, you'd go in the next morning - to have the sperm "resident" in the tubes before the egg is released. So.....if you ovulated on the 8th or 9th, your egg would survive until the 9th or 10th - 24 hours approximately - you may have just caught the tail end of potential to get pregnant ---- by no means a guarantee, but also not impossible. And, BTW - if you did manage to hit it - odds are better than average it would be a boy since male sperm are better "swimmers" - faster, so they'd get to the egg faster. Good luck!

[Josiemk]

I totally agree with the other posters. Stress can be a major mood killer. I would go for the seducing idea. So he doesn't feel pressure to perform.

[Amber11]

Thanks so much everyone. I will try to reduce my anxiety of trying so hard and try to be seductive. The thing is, my husband does not like it when I try to be sexy. So, on to plan C. :)

[ReginaW]

Thanks so much everyone. I will try to reduce my anxiety of trying so hard and try to be seductive. The thing is, my husband does not like it when I try to be sexy. So, on to plan C. :)

Your husband doesn't like it if you take the initiative? Wow

:::::sorry:::::

[emily30]

Thanks so much everyone. I will try to reduce my anxiety of trying so hard and try to be seductive. The thing is, my husband does not like it when I try to be sexy. So, on to plan C. :)


I kinda know what you mean.... There's no need to go crazy with a sexy outfit or weird stuff he's never seen before; you'll scare him for sure. :lol: Try an all-over body massage with oil or something along those lines. Just a little FYI... the higher his excitement, the better the count.

[cnmLisa]

Some other things to consider...

1. When was the last time he had a full physical exam. Erectile dyfunction can be caused by diabetes, hypertension, and other physical ailments.

2. Does he take hypertension medication?

3. Does he take statins?

4. Does he consume soy??

5. Does he take diabetes medications?

Lisa

[Amber11]

He does take high blood pressure medication. Could this be the cause? I have asked him to check into this, but he is almost threatened by this and is highly upset when I suggest something may be wrong. He refuses to think anything is wrong. It is almost like his manhood is being called into question.

Thanks

[cnmLisa]

He does take high blood pressure medication. Could this be the cause?

Most likely. He should take a little trip to see his doctor. There are so many alternative anti-hypertensive medications to choose from. He really just needs to have a very simple conversation with his doctor. This could be as simple as switching medication.

It is almost like his manhood is being called into question.

Pretty much. Even though we (women) don't see it like that at all.
Men--when it comes to their penis they get all wigged out.

Good Luck. The toughest part will be getting him to talk to his doctor.

Lisa

[Amber11]

CNMLisa,

You are so insightful. Thanks. I will ask him. Pray for me:)

[kebaldwin]

1. Have him start on a low carb diet. Zero carb would be even better. As many eggs every morning as you can get down him. I eat nine every morning. Then as much meat as you can get down him at lunch and dinner.

2. Have him start on this multi vitamin
http://www.vitacost.com/NSISynergyMensMultiVitaminVersion2

3. Have him take like four of these per day
http://www.vitacost.com/NSIMegaEFAOmega3EPADHA

There are other supplements I would recommend such as
four of these every night
http://www.vitacost.com/NSINaturalGHFormula
Three of these every night
http://www.vitacost.com/NSIZMAUltra
One of these each day
http://www.vitacost.com/NSIMensPassionBoosterwithLJ100TongkatAli
One of these each data
http://www.vitacost.com/NSIDHEATimeReleased

give it about two months

[Meg_S]

mmm yeah, the saturated fat really contrubutes to testosterone levels. My husband is a lot happier when eating steak, butter and lots of shrimp. Maybe I should say I am happier when he eats those things. I didn't check out the links but Yohimbe hcl is an effective supplement.

[kebaldwin]

mmm yeah, the saturated fat really contrubutes to testosterone levels. My husband is a lot happier when eating steak, butter and lots of shrimp. Maybe I should say I am happier when he eats those things. I didn't check out the links but Yohimbe hcl is an effective supplement.

Yohimbe is another good one. Here is a long / mostly complete list:

http://forum.lowcarber.org/showthread.php?t=280259&highlight=testosterone

Erection problems stem from two things: (1) poor circulation and (2) low testosterone / high estrogen (for men this is bad). Assuming they are young (conceiving kids) this should turn around in a couple of months (if not sooner).

Don't let your man eat anything with soy! Increases estrogen in men.

Drinking a lot of beer is also not good. Ever notice how men that drink a lot of beer get fat and large breasts?

Once she's pregnant she'll want to know how to turn him back off !

That's simple - less eggs and meat, more high glycemic foods, more beer, less vitamins and supplements. Don't stop all the vitamins and minerals - I would recommend keeping the multivitamin and fish oil - but do away with the other supplements.

You ladies have all the control -- you just need to fine tune it.

[tmatrocks]

Old thread - but curious topic.

I have read that L-Arginine is a common supplement for treating erectile dysfunction/improving erections. I have read it is the opposite of Viagra - Viagra blocks an enzyme called PDE5 that destroys nitric oxide and L-arginine is used to make nitric oxide. Nitric Oxide is important in maintaining quality erections.

Anyone have any experience with it?

Of course I am low carbing - I already eat lots of eggs and meat daily!

[Froggiebro]

I think it's all performance anxiety. So don't tell him he's on stage. Ask him to do a run through!

[kebaldwin]

I have read that L-Arginine is a common supplement for treating erectile dysfunction/improving erections. I have read it is the opposite of Viagra - Viagra blocks an enzyme called PDE5 that destroys nitric oxide and L-arginine is used to make nitric oxide. Nitric Oxide is important in maintaining quality erections.

First, congratulations on your success!

Dr Al Sears is my favorite "man's doctor". There is a book that I would highly recommend for you

http://www.alsearsmd.com/12ways/

here is some of his free information

http://www.alsearsmd.com/content/index.php?id=135

to answer your question - yes arginine is very good for men's health

http://www.vitacost.com/articleResults.aspx?Ntk=articles&.y=10&ss=1&.x=19&Ntt=arginine

http://www.worldhealth.net/p/aadr-arginine.html

http://search.lef.org/search/default.aspx?s=1&QUERY=arginine

http://www.lef.org/protocols/male_reproductive/erectile_dysfunction_01.htm

My understanding is that arginine improves your blood circulation. Since the penis is basically a pump and blood is pumped into the penis for an erection - then anything that improves your blood circulation also improves erections.

If you put 2 + 2 together then you wonder - does ED predict heart attack?

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&safe=off&q=erectile+dysfunction+heart+disease

[Gostrydr]

I live out here near Sun City AZ..and they love Arginine out there..

Arginine combined with high doses of Vit C also increases sperm volume.

Avena Sativa and Tribulus are also very good..

If he has no problem with it..yohimbine is supreme.

I had an elderly man who took it after my suggestion..he tells me...

"I now have a permanent place to hang my hat!!"

Here's an interesting nugget of info.

STD's have risen in Sun City over the last few years.

Why?

VIAGRA!!

[TimesTwo]

Sounds like they had more problems than just his inability to maintain an erection.

[tmatrocks]

Have their been problems with yohimbine?

[kebaldwin]

Have their been problems with yohimbine?

Its more like some of these can cause rashes or stomach upset. You can try taking them once every three days for a couple of weeks, and if no rashes or upset stoamch every two days, etc.

In other words (I'm not doing a good job explaining) start out with much smaller amounts than advised nd then build up. A lot of the time the rashes and tomach upset go away.

You can also look at

maca
horny goat weed
Chrysin

[Gostrydr]

Yohimbine works differently for just about everybody lol.

Some love the way they feel on it,others are just miserbale.

If you have cardiovascular problems..high blood pressure etc, DO NOT TAKE IT.

KE,
Chrysin is worthless. Dan Duchaine wrote about it months before someone manufacuterd it. He called it "Flavone X"

It was touted to be the ultimate estrogen inhibitor. It was excellent in the pitre dish, not so in the human body.

It is one of the supps that had its chance years ago and didn't live up to the hype..

Those plant Flavones..I'm not so sure of their bioavailability in us humans

[jwilson65]

Some other things to consider...

1. When was the last time he had a full physical exam. Erectile dyfunction can be caused by diabetes, hypertension, and other physical ailments.

2. Does he take hypertension medication?

3. Does he take statins?

4. Does he consume soy??

5. Does he take diabetes medications?

Lisa

This is very good advise and this advise was also given to my DH. I found, that stress (job stress and family) played a big roll in his desire for sex. He changed jobs and we have worked on ways to get him more "stress free" and EATING plays a HUGE roll in how they feel. After DH got his vasectomy reversal, they encouraged him to:

1. Do not take HOT showers or get into hot tubs (kills sperm)
2. Essential to take all vitamins (atleast a daily suppliment)
3. Avoid smoking, drinking..
4. Eat beef

So many weird things to remember. Now mind you this does involve a reversal and I understand that is not what you are dealing with but it will help with DH's sperm counts and that is important.

The other thing I noticed was because it takes 2 days for sperm counts to return to normal, it might not be benefitial for you to be having sex each day when you are fertile. Try hitting different days, like 10, 12, 14, 16....depending on when you ovulate. And if you wait a few more days and not mention "hey we need to have sex NOW because i'm ovulating" will help him not feel the pressure of having sex. And you both can just enjoy each other.

I feel your "pain" though it has been very difficult for us as well. Sometimes you need to mix things up as well. Surprise him, if you can. I did nottice that you said he doesn't like it when you "try to act sexy".

I'm sure you can find something....Wishing you good luck. :)

[jwilson65]

sorry i didn't realize how old the thread was and i didn't read through the whole thing before responding.... :D

[iluvribeye]

try porn, a candlelit room, lingerie, etc...? Drugs may not be needed for this type of performance anxiety.