i'm having a really bad day

[nefarious]

hey everyone,

i just needed somewhere to express what's going on before i go stark raving mad. the last two days have been really rough on me mentally and emotionally. It's just after 5 pm, I still have another hour to work and i'm trying to hold back tears.

i'm losing my job at the end of october. basically i'm only here right now to train the person that is stealing my job from me. Did I mention i got a pay cut in the process. I am the only person at my place of employment to do this job before and i built it up from scratch and now she's going to get all the glory. I had to figure out how to do all the work myself and now i have to train her. she gets to continue to be employed while i am screwed soon.

i don't feel like my current manager respects me at all nor does she appreciate any of the extra work i have taken on myself to prove myself. i'm getting extremely frustrated because i'm being burned.

and to top it off, one of the guys i'm seeing is pissed off at me cause when he called sunday nite at 12:30 am i wouldn't let him cover over cause i had taken a sleeping pill and was falling asleep. He also played the jealousy card because he doesn't like that i'm seeing other men. He got pissed off enough with me that he hung up. While i want to call him back to get closer and sort things out i don't want to let him get the upper hand so i'm trying desperately not to call him.

then another guy i'm seeing thinks i'm going psycho cause when i call and he doesn't answer i'll call back later (he doesn't have an answering machine but has call display). He also hasn't figured out that when his call display says i've called 9 times, it doesn't mean i've called nine times that day...its cummulative. so now he's telling me he's becoming a little threatened by me.

i have no money. i can't even afford my asthma meds or my anti-depressants (and right now i really need them). I'm hundreds of dollars behind on my cable and phone bill and don't even know when i might be able to pay them off.

and my cat keeps peeing everywhere.

i moved to this city about 2 years ago from the other side of the country (5000 miles away) and don't have many friends here .... maybe 5. so between that, not wanting to break my SB diet and drink and not having any money, i never go out, which of course just makes me more depressed.

and i have insomnia. i get approximately 3 hours sleep a night, 4 if i'm lucky. i'm on the waiting list for a sleep disorders clinic but its 6 months long.

and i have pms.


i'm sorry, i just needed to let it out. i think i'm going to go home at 6 and just cry.

[Mandra]

I'm sorry you're having such a bad time. I can relate, the place I was working just closed, my van broke down and chewed up the money for the mortgage, I'm living in fear of my hydro or phone being cut off....I have about $15 at the moment and not sure where any more is going to come from....it goes on and on.


Go have a good cry and let it out.

[ssofian]

Neferious-
I am truely sorry to see that you are facing difficult times. When life sends you alot of things at once, my best advice is to deal with one thing at a time. Start with what you CAN control.

-contact your cable/phone companies and advise them you can't pay the whole thing but see if they will set up a payment plan. Most companies will do this and then won't send you to collectors if they know you're paying SOMETHING.

-is your field such that you can search for another job?

-you mentioned you aren't going out because you don't want to go off your SB diet. Good for you that you ARE controlling that! If you WANT to go out, can you just enjoy your friends' company and maybe even just drink water? Or maybe just save enough money for 1 drink (like rum and diet coke) per week?

If you were not asking for advice, I apologize. Sometimes it just feels good to write out what's going on.

[JaneDough]

Oh nefarious - I'm torn between the desire to hug you, and laugh at those cat-pee and PMS comment. Sounds like you've got both forms of the latter; premenstrual syndrome, and Putting up with Men's Sh**.

You're getting a raw deal in more ways than one. The fact you haven't lost all control is something to be proud of. I hope things fall into place for you very soon. :heart:

[wammydoo]

sorry you are having a bad time. Do you know if you have any free clinics that you can go to, so you can get back on your meds? Or maybe call the doctor that gave you the original meds, and ask them if they have any samples to use in the mean time?
That is very important, for you to feel better.
I really hope that everything works out o.k. for you.

[juelz4u]

Damn girl! I wanna hug ya!! Things we'll look up soon for ya!! Keep the faith..Between men and cat pee, hell chick..I'd just train the B who is stealing your job ALL WRONG!! ;) I'll be thinking of ya!!

GREAT BIG HUG!!!!

Juli

[pollypolly]

..I'd just train the B who is stealing your job ALL WRONG!! ;)


I was just thinking the same thing :devil:

I'm so sorry, nefarious. :there: I hope things get better for you. The previous poster who advised you to take everything one at a time is right on. When everything seems to pile up, it becomes one big unwieldy problem.

Best of luck to you, and good for you for sticking to your WOE through a tough time.

[carabajalk]

Hey girl I'm so sorry that all these things are happening to you but don't worry things will get better. Just remember this "'God never shuts one door without opening another"

[nefarious]

First of all, thanks everyone for your support. I realy do appreciate it.

Got some more bad news recently. i put a stop payment on something and it went through anyway so now my RRSP payment has bounced due to NSF. To top it off the grant i was basically garaunteed for school (and which I definately need) isn't going to happen for me. And the school tells me all of a sudden that I have to make a $1550 payment on December 1st even though everytime I met with them I was under the impression that I only had to make bi-weekly payments the entire time i was in school.

I haven't found a second job yet, i'm looking in just about every restaurant in the city. I got paid on Wednesday and now have $20 left.

I finally fell of the wagon with the diet because i don't have any food in my house nor money to buy anything. I'm going to be creative this weekend and make things with mostly beans and the few veggies i have left. If I can get through to Wednesday I'll be getting $40 then. I found one of 3 clinics in this city that will actually give you meds for free (most places no longer carry samples because there have been too many break ins and thefts of medication) so i'll be doing that tomorrow. That means I can get back on my anti-depressants. Hopefully I can also get back on my BC.

i was really hoping i could sleep in this weekend but unfortunately that won't be happening. Sleep is for the wicked right.

[whyspers]

Aww, I'm sorry that you are having such a rough time. Life seems to go in cycles like that and hopefully you will have an upswing soon. It really stinks the way your employer is treating you, too.

As for the boyfriends, they apparently knew you were polyamorous before getting involved with you. If this guy is trying to manipulate you into being monogamous, you really, really may want to have a long talk with him and see if he is capable of this relationship. He may not be...he may be totally wired to be monogamous.

Anyway...I do hope things get better for you soon.


L