The last time that I wore a dress...

[BetyLouWho]

Somehow I link dress-wearing with confidence and a decent body image.

(I have always wanted to be the girl in the red dress! I had one about 20 years ago. Cute little V-back to the waist with a little bow at the point. Wore it with nice high pumps. I liked my butt in that dress. Damn. I am about a hundred pounds heavier than that now!!)

It just struck me that it has been so long since I felt pretty enough to wear a dress, that I can't even remember when it was! Really. Could it be 10 years? 15? Where has my life gone?

Any thoughts, Ladies? Other than, maybe beach-wear, is there an equivelant for men?

[JaneDough]

Now, I'm just the opposite. A dress is a forgiving tent in my world. In pants, I have to deal with my butt and thighs so I avoid them mightily. I dream of getting back into a pair of jeans without having to break my mirror afterwards or wait for nightfall. Been a good 15-20 years since THAT happened.

[HollyAyott]

I say you should go out an buy yourself a dress today. No matter your weight I am sure your lovely enough for a dress, is there really such a thing as not being pretty enough for a dress. I know its a personal perception thing, but heck my motto was always

If it comes in my size I can wear it.

with obvious exceptions, such as bikinis & tube tops, which just for the record I dont think cant be worn by someone larger, just I wouldnt feel comfortable in it ( probably at any weight)

SO honey go on down to the mall and find yourself a beautiful red dress!

[BetyLouWho]

Now, I'm just the opposite. A dress is a forgiving tent in my world. In pants, I have to deal with my butt and thighs so I avoid them mightily. .

Wow. Ain't that funny? I have a 'fat uniform' which always involves pants and a long top that covers my butt and doesn't "divide" me anywhere in the waist or mid bum. A lot of dark colours. I guess I just have my own thoughts on what size I should be to wear a dress. Interesting.

[ToastyBoy]

I can't speak for all men, but for me, feeling comforatable wearing tucked in shirts was when I started to feel somewhat confident about my body image. But the real goal is to hopefully someday be comforatable enough to take my shirt off at the beach.

[BetyLouWho]

..... I know its a personal perception thing....

I just remembered that I DID wear dresses not long ago! When I was pregnant I had a few comfy, forgiving tent-type dresses, such as the ones that JaneDough describes. What made it ok then was, I was very obviously pregnant to an onlooker, instead of now when one might just wonder if I was!:lol:

[HollyAyott]

http://www.igigi.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000002/product/specific/331202P.jpg





I hope this doesnt offend you but I took the liberty of finding a sexy red dress that you should think of getting.... ( This is al plus size and this women look hot, so would you!)

[BetyLouWho]

Heck, NO! That doesn't offend me a bit. I always admire a plus sized girl who can carry herself with confidence....and, that IS a really cute dress that I would like to wear! However, I know that I, personally would not be comfortable in it unless it was in a size 10 or so.

I could tell you of a few times that I have purchased an outfit that is out of my comfort zone, tried it on several times on the way out, girdled it up, accessorized, felt pretty good....then a glance in the mirror on the way out with the reality of my weight deflates me and sends me running to change into the trusty "fat uniform" again before I step outside the door.

It really is too bad that we can't all just decide to be happy with our weight. It is not for health reasons that I am here on a weight-loss mission, it is for vanity. If this world were a kinder place to people that are my size perhaps I would happily stay heavy and not have to be so disciplined in my WOE.

The bigger question here may be: "Why do you care so much what others think?", or perhaps, "Why do you think that they care at all?" I know that I see women who are my size or larger in dresses and skirts all the time and I don't give it a second thought. I certainly don't cringe or wonder what the heck they were thinking on their way out of the door.

But, I think you can only project beautiful if you feel beautiful. I know that I can't feel that at this weight...so I will try again when I am a little smaller.

(Heck of a cute dress though!! ;) )

[cs_carver]

Lean to dresses because they can take a 10-20# range, where jeans and pants are more in the 3-5# range before they don't fit right.

[Mandra]

The bigger question here may be: "Why do you care so much what others think?", or perhaps, "Why do you think that they care at all?"


One quote I heard not too long ago (forgot by whom) went something like "You would not worry so much what people thought of you if you realized how seldom they do".

[locarbbarb]

Count me in on the side of no dress 'till I'm thinner! I feel so fat in a skirt or dress at this weight. When I was a size 10, I wore skirts almost every day to work. (even then I worried that my legs were too fat, though)

Now it's pants outfits, with the long tops to cover "a multitude of sins" :lol:

You gotta go with what's comfortable.

I can also relate to ToastyBoy. I used to love to tuck my shirts into my jeans and nice pants, and then wear a nice belt. You can believe I've saved every one of my thin outfits (I am an eternal optimist!). I long to wear jeans with a nice belt again! I don't think I'll be taking my shirt off at the beach though! :blush: (Only the bathing suit cover-up, thank you very much!)

I also agree that there are some larger women who look just great in dresses, or long skirts with an over-top. I'm not one of them.

Well, see you all at the mall! :wave:

[KimNWI]

Wow. Ain't that funny? I have a 'fat uniform' which always involves pants and a long top that covers my butt and doesn't "divide" me anywhere in the waist or mid bum. A lot of dark colours. I guess I just have my own thoughts on what size I should be to wear a dress. Interesting.

you just described my entire closet :lol: . I also have that I am so fat it looks like I am trying to hard to be pretty if I wear a dress thing going on.

[BetyLouWho]

Kimmy,

I've never been dainty. Even at a healthy weight, I am a tall, big woman. But being this overweight in a dress? ........I look like a man doing the 'drag' thing, POORLY!!:lol:

[cs_carver]

Even at a healthy weight, I am a tall, big woman. But being this overweight in a dress? ........I look like a man doing the 'drag' thing, POORLY!!:lol:

I'm six feet tall. I was in San Francisco once and received an unusual amount of attention from men I perceived to be gay--normally, they just look right on past me. Straight men will often check out my shoes, to see if I'm really this tall or wearing heels.

These men in SF were checking my hips. I realized they were thinking I just might be a cross-dresser, and pretty darn good at it! But as soon as they saw these girl-hips, wider (in the bones) by an inch than the "standard" model for any size I've ever been, they would think, "Nope, that's a real one!" and go back to ignoring me.

[AFwife]

A strapless, shirt, dress, doesn't matter. I want to be able to wear a strapless again. *sigh*

And of course, the "Red Dress" too. :)

[BetyLouWho]

I also look forward to looking respectable when dressed "down". It seems that the larger one gets the better they have to dress to attain the same level of acceptable. Work out pants and a comfy old t-shirt look cute on a fit body. But a bigger person can put on the most stylish brand new stretchy pants and a clean crisp t-shirt and always look like a slob.

How about jeans and one of these cute strappy tops? Even teens can't really pull off that look in a bigger size. I'm sorta glad that I am old enough to choose un-hip clothing over having to cram my butt into that gear as a fat chick!!

Again, it's about one's own perception, I suppose. Sometimes the young girl with the rolls in the tight little top looks as comfortable as anyone. Where to people get that kind of confidence?

[HollyAyott]

Ohhh girl let me tell you. At 24 I still want to go out and wear the cute sexy "in" stuff. And you can you just have to know your body. I dont ( just my personal likes & dislikes) wear tight clothing, as I dont like to highlight my rolls, but I will wear a strapless shirt, or a short skirt. I usually pick one more outragous piece of clothing and one more "safe" piece. I can honestly say at 240 pounds wear "in" clothing I got hit on just as much as I do now in my size 12's/10's....

I cant say I dont care what others think, because to some degree I suppose I do, but I mostly care about what I think.

[carabajalk]

I know for myself I stay away from anything that shows my legs skirts, dresses, shorts I never touch the stuff I'm a jeans girl love them. However I do where spagetti strap shirts,tubetops,halters. It's just something about showing my legs I've never liked it I hope someday I can get over it lol.

[ButterflyA]

It is not for health reasons that I am here on a weight-loss mission, it is for vanity. If this world were a kinder place to people that are my size perhaps I would happily stay heavy and not have to be so disciplined in my WOE.


I’ve been the whole range- from really thin (too much) to “normal” to “who let the whale out of the ocean?” :lol: and let me tell you, people are 1000% meaner to you when you’re fat.

When I was thin, the worst I heard (which stung sometimes but never HURT) was, “Are you sick? You look way too thin. You need to eat!”

When I was at my heaviest, I was mooed at walking to my car, people would drive by and yell, “Cute face gross body” at me all the time. Fat Discrimination is the last acceptable one out there. I developed a sense of sarcastic humor to deal with it, but it HURT- it would make me cry myself to sleep and never in a million years did I do that when I was skinny or “normal”/average.

[JaneDough]

You should see me today, y'all; I'm living a perfect storm of sorts. I bought a skirt some years ago that's so brightly patterned, I could never find a top to go with it. (No matter since I couldn't fit the skirt anyway, right?) But today, I put on the skirt and found a top from another outfit that matches perfectly. Now, I may be visible from outer space with the naked eye, but that's okay - I feel good and pretty and just turned down a gentlemen's questionable proposition whilst at Farmers Market. Hope everyone else is feelin' fine in their clothes today, too.
:daizy:

[Mousesmom]

When I was at my heaviest, I was mooed at walking to my car.

Butterfly, I completely understand being mooed at. It used to happen to me all the time when I was at my heaviest. It's the hardest thing I ever went through was the torment from others for being fat. Even from people I used to hang around with.... I remember one particularly cruel comment from this guy at the rec centre I went to all the time: "at least I'm only fat when I sit down" (he was built like a rake) Then he looks at me and mooed.

I always hoped that one day that people would realize the effect such abuse has on others but people are so callous and cruel - not even just kids!

We have to learn somehow to tune these people out. They are not going to stop, even if confronted with their awful behaviour. I've tried it.

When we get to goal, we wouldn't ever consider ridiculing anyone who is still on the journey because we already know how hard it is. We can hopefully set a better example of how to treat people for our kids....

Take care, Julie

[BetyLouWho]

You should see me today, y'all..........................

.............I feel good and pretty and just turned down a gentlemen's questionable proposition whilst at Farmers Market. Hope everyone else is feelin' fine in their clothes today, too.
:daizy:
Fan-bloody-tastic!! Good for you! Sexy Thang!

[Miss Katz]

I like the way feminine dresses look, but I have a fear of the attention I'll get wearing one. I decided I'm going to face that fear and wear dresses and mini skirts until I get over it:)

[HalfPass]

When I was heavy I ONLY wore dresses to work, in fact I never wore a pair of pants to work for the first dozen plus years that I was there. I wore skirts/dresses to any occassion that I could. In fact, I would look for an excuse to keep a dress on for appointments at the barn (I have horses). I carry weight in my butt/thighs too and felt it was more concealed in a dress, usually a drop waisted style from Eddie Bauer.
My ultimate thin goal was to put on a pair of jeans and a simple top and look OK..even just for doing housework. As a fat person I felt no matter how how I tryed, how nice the outfit and accessorys, I looked like a fat slob. Funny though, I realized recently that I don't think judjementally about other people, just myself. I also am just becoming aware of feeling that the rest of the world judges me mostly on my weight.

[liddie01]

i supose because in my line of work i am always messy i love to dress up, in a dress, and yes, i can look good at this weight, too, my mother was a model and she taught me that sexy shoes really help :lol: also i have her legs so even though i am chubby, the legs are pretty good, my weight settles in the tummy so i have to watch the cut of a dress, but i do get attention when i dress up from men, and even when I don't, I think though it is more because of my smile, and my confidence, men do not scare me, i was a plumber for 10 years in a factory and worked with about 600 of them, :lol: i have many male friends and also date quite a few guys, no one special right now, because I am working on me right at this time.

[SurfRider]

I too am very tall and big. I am 6'2 and today happy to say 208. Better than 245! I still have a ways to go, but I would not be caught dead in a dress. I hate them. I am so self aware in them. I feel like everyone is making fun of me. However, I do have this one dress that I LOVE! It is so girly (which I am not) and I have a picture of me in it that EVERYONE comments on. They tell me how beautiful I look in it. That dress fits me now (actually loose in the waist) but I still feel so fat in it. Funny, the mind plays serious tricks on us. Sometimes it is not a weight thing, but a mind thing.

J

[Vgal]

Kimmy, I've never been dainty. Even at a healthy weight, I am a tall, big woman. But being this overweight in a dress? ........I look like a man doing the 'drag' thing, POORLY!!:lol:


Trust me, you don't have to be "dainty" to do the drag thing. POORLY. :lol: I'm more boyish than manly.

I think that red dress takes more confidence than size to pull off. Red is a notoriously difficult colour to wear simply for the WOWZA factor. And that dress is all about WOWZA. I personally have found A-line dresses and skirts far more flattering to my shape than trousers which do nothing to disguise my pear shape as well as a loose dress or skirt. Plus, I get to try to be more feminine in a dress.

[chelles]

If I didn't have tattoos on my ankles, I would wear a skirt or wrap dress every single day to work.

I am kind of butch, but those wrap dresses are super-feminine, and the most flattering thing someone apple-shaped could wear. I have a bunch in my closet - can't wait until I'm a size 12 so I can fit in them and find somewhere to wear them!