Eating to feel better, how did you get over it?

[Impecca]

The reason why I am asking this question is because my cousin Heather eats to make herself feel better. The reason why I personally started atkins was because I wanted to use myself as an example that it isn't that hard to diet and lose weight. She weighs at least 400lbs and is 6'2" and will be a Sophmore in highschool next year. She is a very sweet girl, her problem is that she is very week minded, and eats food to make herself feel better. She has zero willpower at all. If she is made fun of for being fat, she doesn't try and fix it, she just wants a quick fix with food, and that never truely helps it. She also has a very nervous problem which I think can also be associated with her weight troubles. I know there are those of you that must have been in this situation and I am trying to figure out how to help her. At the rate she is going, I have a feeling she might end up dying. She looks like she has gained 100lbs or so in a year and I am afraid it is just going to get worse. She tries diets but can never stay on them for more than a day. Help please.

[potatofree]

I still struggle with it, but I've been working on it with the help of teh Dr Phil book. There's a link in my signature, if you want to take a look. Actually, his son wrote a book just for teens too.

It's hard to stop the behavior, I know that first-hand. Unfortunately, as much as you love her, and you clearly DO... you can't do it for her. It might just be that the best help you can give her is to convince her(or her parents) to get professional help. It's not a sign of weakness to seek help. There may be a LOT more going on than you know, though.

Bless you for caring so much about her. She's lucky.

[Moonwalker]

she would probably benefit from some medical help or couceling

[nets33]

High school is the worst.... you're dealing with pressures of good grades, a changing body image and concerns about being in the "A" crowd....

I wish there was some magic answer for your cousin. My first suggestion would be to change out her nervous eating from bad foods to good foods.... No more chips and fries. How about some veggies to munch on.

I used to eat to make myself feel better and then I realized that it made me feel worse because I kept on putting on weight. I think it's great that you're trying to help your cousin but ultimately she has to be the one to want to change. Can you talk with her about your concerns? Make it a challenge between the two of you?

Hope that you can help her out. :)

[cs_carver]

The reason why I personally started atkins was because I wanted to use myself as an example that it isn't that hard to diet and lose weight. .

Here's the first problem. It is EXTREMELY hard to diet and lose weight for good. If it weren't, there would be no fat people in the world. While I applaud your current success, and I am envious that you find it "easy," I have to hope you are able to keep it off.

At my highest weight, I would never have listened to anyone who told me it was "easy," because it would have been clear he or she did not understand the situation from my point of view.

her problem is that she is very week minded, and eats food to make herself feel better. She has zero willpower at all. .

I wonder about this. It takes a tremendous amount of willpower to get through life at 400#, especially when one is young. I'm pretty amazed she's still leaving the house every morning, frankly. Could it just be that mere existence is sucking up every available iota of willpower the girl has?

And in my experience, success at Atkins has little to do with willpower at all. I had to come to terms with the effects of sugar and insulin and all of that--THEN I was able to see that once I eat the stuff, I was and still am out of control and it has NOTHING to do with willpower.


I am trying to figure out how to help her. .
Al-anon is a very good place to learn how to be useful to someone who has a problem with addictions. I would suggest attending at least six meetings, ideally different ones, to get a feel for what they are talking about. I suspect you might not like what they have to say the first few times. They're probably in the phone book.


At the rate she is going, I have a feeling she might end up dying. .

We are all going to end up dying. Some of us die sooner, and some as a rather direct consequence of our current eating habits. But we will all die, for sure.


I am afraid it is just going to get worse...

The more important question is, what is SHE afraid of? Assuming she has a passing knowledge of physiology and food and nuitrition and maybe even has read an Atkins book, it would appear that facing life without her comfort is more terrifying than dying soon and fat. This is her choice. Her parents might have a little say in it, but not much at her age.

It is possible that an eating disorder treatment center could help with an intervention.

She tries diets but can never stay on them for more than a day..

Nobody can, really, if they don't address blood sugar problems.

Help please.

I hope you can find the help that this post, and the others, offers. It is exceedingly painful and difficult to "help" someone who is not ready, and even then, it takes a lot of self-understanding and effective boundaries to be truly useful over the long term.

Good luck.