Very Low Self-Esteem

[KateIsGrea]

I have started on this WOL and I am feeling so discouraged. After college, I started using food to comfort myself using food. I did not realize how big I was getting because my boyfriend still told me I was pretty. Then one day, I saw a picture of myself and saw a FAT girl staring back. Despite the fact that I am doing something about my weight by following the LC and exercising, I have a hard time socailizing. I avoid parties and going out in public because I am so embarassed about how I look. I want to feel good about myself while I am on the path to my goal weight, but all I can see is horrible body in the mirror. I won't even visit my boyfriend's parents with him because I don't want them to see me like this. Ugh, I know I am more than my weight, but my self esteem is really in the crapper.

Okay, I do want to end on something positive: since starting this WOE, I have gone from bingeing daily to hardly ever AND I feel incredible. I am just waiting for my looks to catch up!!

Kate

[VictoriaT]

I know what you mean. It is tough. That is great that your boyfriend loves you no matter what. I always would feel like the fattest person around in any social situation, so I too avoided going out for a while.

Can you try counseling? I think its important to try and stay positive and think of it as 10 lbs at a time! Yuo dont have too much to lose and every lb you get off-think of it as a success instead of how much more you have to lose.

I would visit your boyfriends parents-they may wonder why you are avoiding them!!! :)

Good luck
Vicki

[Aquamarina]

As long as I can remember myself I faced the same problem.
I remember eating carrots, or even nothing at school. I was fat and very embarassed to eat in front of others.
I was a very social person, my friends calling me all the time, so going out was a big problem. I tried for hours to find what clothes I would wear, I didn't have much choice and many times I wanted to stay at home. Going out was a dissaster for me... Not to mention that I didn't had a boyfriend...

My boyfriend now met me when I was fat. Really fat. And he accepted me the way I was. So it's very important that your boyfriend accepts you the way you are now. This means that he really loves you.

You want to know what comes next? After 4 years with him and 17 kgs lost, he says he is the happiest man in the world. He keeps asking his friends "isn't she pretty?" cause even he, can't believe how a cute fat woman became a pretty thin woman.
The funniest thing of all is when he wants to kiss me. "Yikes, ketosis breath" he says. "Do you want me to stop dieting and have a good breath?" -"No I prefer to live with ketosis forever" he says.

So keep up the good work. You haven't seen anything yet. There are very good moments to come! :)

[Kristine]

I'm your height and I started out around your weight. It's not fun. But I never considered myself "fat" at that weight; merely a li'l chubby. :) I never skipped out on parties or anything. Buy some flattering outfits - maybe an A-line skirt, a pair of long flair pants with a pair of chunky shoes, and wide neck line tops.

I'd say the biggest self-esteem boost I've gotten recently is from working out. Keep doing it. Once you start noticing some results, you'll feel proud not so much from how you look, but that you're strong and you've acheived improved fitness. :thup:

[KateIsGrea]

Thank you guys so, so much!!! I am definately feeling more heartened by these responses. Wouldn't it be nice if the weight would just disappear overnight?? My boyfriend is really great and I know that he loves me no matter what I look like which is awesome. I am working on being patient and treating myself with kindness and cute outfits at this weight. I am so grateful for all the support here.

Kate

[misskimbee]

Aw, Kate, you're gonna do just fine! :)

[cs_carver]

To improve self-esteem, do esteemable things. Suspect there might be opportunities in your life where people need help and they sure won't care that you think you're fat if you can deliver some form of assistance? Like Bible study in prison, if you want one of the toughest assignments, or dishing out soup to the homeless? YMMV, as will your opportunities.

If we lost weight overnight, we'd never do the real work we need to keep it off. We'd just eat all we want, be lazy and spoiled, and then go "poof, I need it gone for the party on Saturday..." I don't think that would work in the real world.