What Does Being Fat Make U Feel Like?

[annasophia]

how does being fat affect you?

i feel angry and frustrated and very self-conscious?

what about u?

[sugarjunky]

Self-hatred, worthlessness, guilt, inadequacy... The problem I have is still thinking I’m “fat and ugly” even when I’m thin. I suffer depression over my looks, or the way I feel. Hormones have always played a big role in my mood swings, but it feels like a constant batter of roller coaster emotions, and false body image delusions.

[sugarjunky]

http://forum.lowcarber.org/forumdisplay.php?f=121

This thread should go here ^^^^^

[annasophia]

thats exactly how i feel, people are always telling me i am beautiful and i dont believe them, i think they are lying...i hate myself sometimes, and its all because of food

[MetalMom]

Before I got to my current weight, I felt ugly, hopeless, unattractive no matter how beautiful my husband said I was, ashamed and all around depressed. Since I started LCing, I have thrown away my anti-depressants and feel better than I ever have. It has changed my life

[wilson401]

Body image and Self image are two different things ~ You can improve your body image by losing weight and toning up, but it won't change your Self Image, that can only come from within yourself and has nothing to do with the outside.

We are so many things that have nothing to do with how big we are. We are:

Mothers, Fathers, Wives, Husbands, Children, Sisters, Brothers, Best Friends......

[ePa]

I've been on both sides. I am so called "obese" nowadays and I hate it. I get really depressed when I think about that my hubby has only a few punds more than me but he is a head taller. We are going on our holidays soon and as much as I am looking forward to it I also feel slightly depressed by the thought of me in a swim suit. Only a few years ago I was really slim after losing an awful lot of weight by virtually eating nothing which resulted in me getting gall bladder surgery. I must admit I was just as selfconcious those days as I am now I am "fat" again. This time round I will make it though and I will take my time. I put the scales away, they make things worse. I can feel I am losing weight on my clothes and I am only weighing myself once a month which makes me happy because it is always positive because I lost weight. I can't await the day I will fit in my skinny jeans again. I am trying to see things more positive and my supporting hubby gives me a lot of strengh. He loves me no matter what and that gives me all the time in the world to reach my goal weight once again.

[misskimbee]

I feel like the last kid that gets picked on a baseball team - not first choice, undesirable, slower, judged. And someone will eventually take pity on me.

[NoBREAD]

I hate looking in the mirror. I refuse to get my picture taken any more. I feel ugly and less than...

[Jody100467]

I feel invisible - I used to get noticed! Women looked at my clothes and men looked at my figure. When I was thin people were nicer - salespeople approached me faster, men looked at me. People were just plain old nicer to me. Now I am heavy and I still feel like I am that thin beautiful woman inside but I know that I am fat - and not as pretty as I used to be. I still feel great about me though...I am a wonderful person and I love myself no matter how fat or thin I am. But I do feel invisible. Men still look at me but look away quickly so that I don't catch them looking.

I guess I have felt a little bit lost...a little bit not like myself. Sad, depressed and disappointed.

But I am on the way back to me. I just started induction officially today and can't wait for my first 2 weeks to be over so that I can see the results. I will stay on induction until I have lost 35 pounds and then move to the next phase.

I never want to feel this bad again.

[AntiM]

how does being fat affect you?It makes me different.

When you're so far out of the norm, it can give you clarity. I have a perspective I might never have been able to have had I never been fat. I think it made me kinder, more empathetic, stronger ... independent of spirit and mind. It made me look past the surface.

It also made me hotter - those layers really do insulate! I had more health problems. I was in more pain and had less mobility. I was more filled out into my skin, more noticable ... yet less visible to others.

And I'm still on the journey! I'm looking forward to the rest of the trip. :D

[Weezer160]

A typical overweight Native American, and just an overweight American.

[MoNoCarb]

I don't feel sexy. I'm embarrassed at the gym locker room. I wear really boring clothes and I'm not a boring person. It makes me feel kind of scared as well, because I don't want to be fat forever and I know it will only get harder as I have kids and get older.

AND I DO NOT want to be a fat bride and have everyone looking at my big butt in the the big white dress next to my very slim fiance and thinking - god, what a fatso - she could have made an effort for her wedding.

[IvannaBFit]

Being fat makes me feel like I'll never fit in.

Being fat makes me feel heavy, hot, slobbish.

Being fat makes me feel unprofessional and tired.

Being fat makes me feel judged.

Being fat makes me feel unattractive and unsexual.

Being fat makes me feel anxious.

Being fat makes me feel unworthy.

Being fat makes me feel worried and disappointed.

[gwuinifer]

i think the worse thing for me is feeling... like i'm not "myself."

i'm very social, like to jump into things with both feet, like to grab people by both hands and drag them into new experiences that i know they will enjoy and enjoy it with them. i'm flamboyant, not shy. i'm even brash at times.

but this me, the me in my mind, changes when i am hit with a wave of self-recognition. whe i look in the mirror and realize that this confidence should not be coupled with someone who looks the way i do. when i put on that fabulous crushed velvet bright red skirt, a corset top in black (the outfit looks so beautiful on the hanger), a pair of fishnet tights and my boots, spend an hour on my hair with only a view of my head, pull the shaving mirror off the wall and do my makeup just so (but i can only see my face), walk out of the house feeling like a million bucks, and then catch a glimpse of myself in a store window while i'm out from the corner of my eye and have to do a double take when i realize that the heifer crammed into that red skirt that she should have known better than to wear in public is... ME.

i hate cooking a fabulous three course japanese meal for my friends to enjoy, for us to enjoy, to experience together, and being unable to really eat in front of them because every bite i take makes me more aware of how i look, what they must be thinking... so i pick at my food demurely and hog back all the leftovers when everyone has left...

i hate buying something at the thrift store thinking that it will be too big, getting it home, and not being able to even get it on, let alone buttoned.

its like my internal image of myself, and the me that i see in the mirror that is edging on 200lbs, are completely different people. when i make love to my husband, in the dark, i feel like a sex kitten, beautiful, desirable. the next day, when the mushy romantic feelings are still glazing the world pink, and i wake up and stretch languidly, and accidentally catch a glance of myself in the mirror, its like the image shatters and i'm disgusted that i was ever undressed in front of him at all.

i know i look like a mommy now. and i'm okay with never being a lingerie model. but if i could get my real body to be at least not so jarringly different from the internal me that feels she has the right to self-confidence, i think i could be a lot less manic-depressive.

:)

[IvannaBFit]

gwuinifer, I totally know how you feel. When I was 182, I knew I was fat, but sometimes I actually FELT beautiful, UNTIL... I caught a glimpse of my entire body somehow, and then self-revulsion swept in.

[last10lbs]

i think that your version of feeling fat is probably more intense that most people's. :( i say this because i know your world and i have been there and have visited there recently (unfortunately). my advice to you would be to try to find a hobby to get you away from yourself. get lost in art or science or sports or something other than being at home where you can obsess about your body. you create your own world :)

the more frustrated you find yourself with your body, your fatness, your "youness" the more strict you'll become on your diet but the more you may set yourself up for a binge. it's a really weird cycle. when i was at my all time low, which i have yet to revisit, i was taking several courses in school and i had a full social life. i also didn't strictly low carb obsessively. i long for that day again but i have all of this free time! so i'm making plans to get myself out of the house and into fun things.

i'm working on this myself. i know i can grab hold of loving myself and allowing myself inner peace. i see it right infront of me. i just have to cease what i know is good for me. and i'm READY! :D

[veritas14]

I realize that everyone is writing about how they "feel", but the reality of the situation is that in America (and I am sure elsewhere in the world) it is considered okay to riducule and make fun of fat people. So you don't just feel judged, you ARE judged. I've heard so many painful stories of fat people being told by complete strangers that they should get lunch from the salad bar and not the sandwich bar. I've heard fat people say that if they are in the supermarket and buy something fattening, complete strangers feel it is their right to take the food out of their cart!!! Men will often ignore a fat woman. About ten years ago, I developed Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. One side effect before I was diagnosed was that I gained weight extremely quickly. I went from a size 10 to a size 14 in the blink of an eye. I felt terrible, and people seemed to think it was okay to ignore me. To cure my CFS I had to drastically change my diet. Within three months I was down to a size 8. The response was astounding. Women would stare at me when I tried on clothes in a communal dressing room. I literally had a boutique owner run out of his store and ask me to come inside to try on a dress, because he had been looking for someone with my body all day long. I think it is important to take some of the responsibility of how you feel from your shoulders and realize that you are NOT imagining things. Have more compassion for yourself.

[MilanoSI]

Orca.

Yep, that about sums it up. I feel like Orca the whale. But, I also know that I am the only one that can change the way I feel/look AND I am the one who allows others perception to affect me. Funny, I even posted in my journal today about something that happened and I was feeling low. But, honestly it is my choice on how I feel. I am working on not allowing what others think about me affect the way I feel about myself. I have a LONG way to go. ha-ha

[PilotGal]

Something that looks ridiculous in clothes.

[KimNWI]

Disgusting, unnatural, ugly, unprofessional, unsucessful in anything, unsexy, not worth the effort....incapable of fitting in..undeserving of everyday pleasures...

I realised its mainly self esteem issues with me, just wonder how long it will take not to feel this way..how much I will have to lose to not feel like a hefalump from winnie the pooh lol. I do feel slightly better than a did before I started losing weight.

KimNWI

[lajavableu]

it makes me feel ashamed.

[satin_moon]

[QUOTE=Jody100467] Men still look at me but look away quickly so that I don't catch them looking.

How do you know they're looking away because of your weight.If you were pretty before you still have the same face.Not all guys think a size 3 is beautiful.Maybe you're catching them looking at a beautiful lady,but in your mind you've got it turned backwards.

[ErinRN]

I feel like a failure. I see myself becoming my mother who battled it all her life. Not weighing herself, cutting out the size in her clothes. The last thing I remember before she died was when I was walking away from my folks mom said "she used to be such a pretty girl."
I feel ugly. Being single makes it worse for me. I feel so incredibly undesireable.

Erin

[KryssiMc]

I don't have anything to add here...just wanted to...

{{{{HUG ALL OF YOU}}}}}

and to tell you that you are all beautiful and strong. You can do this. Good luck to all of you.

[PilotGal]

I refuse to get my picture taken any more..

I have Photoshop, I erase myself out of photo's!!!!!!!!!

[ErinRN]

that is a great idea. I will have to try that

[JaneDough]

..undeserving of everyday pleasures...

Ouch; that really hit home. I wish I could count how many times I've said to myself "I don't deserve..." or "I'll never have..." or "Nobody will ever...", often without being aware I'm doing it. The negative reinforcement we give ourselves can wear us down and be incredibly hard to reverse. I guess the only solution is to consciously try to do just that though, while still fat. If we wait until we look better to work on this stuff, we may not be very happy or well-adjusted at goal.

[Malishka31]

i feel blobby.
yes thats not a true word, but ... its a word feeling

BLOBBY!

[ItsTheWooo]

how does being fat affect you?

i feel angry and frustrated and very self-conscious?

what about u?
I felt trapped and hopeless. Naturally I felt frustrated, self conscious & worthless, etc but these feelings weren't as difficult as the sense that it was my fate... that I was condemned to live and be treated that way forever.

[tbowes]

I have been overweight all of my life. Growing up overweight was harder than it is now because kids can be so cruel. Now being fat is not only about my image but also about my health. I'm overweight and I'm starting to feel the effects. I feel unhealthy and I look unhealthy. It's not normal to be 22 and feel this way; however, it needs to change... NOW!!

[Tally]

Hmmm...well the first thing that popped into my head when I asked myself how being fat made me feel was inadequate. I feel like less of a person than those who are healthy and fit and beautiful, I feel like I don't deserve things, like my wonderful boyfriend. It's such a terrible feeling :(. I feel depressed sometimes, desperate, angry, helpless, broken down, weary, insecure, weak, bitter. There are so many things that being fat makes me feel, and that's why I'm losing weight, I'm tired of feeling like I'm not good enough, I'm ready to start feeling that I deserve a better life!

[Stormie Me]

I feel PO'd, because I am here in this body again.

Anyone who tells me I am 'beautiful' anymore, I automatically think they are delusional and/or drunk.

I've also lost out on a decent raise ~ work, and I wonder if it is because of the size of my 'jeans'. It was approved and then a board of directors (all male and like 15 of them) poo-pooed the idea a few weeks ago. I used to get tons of attention - too much infact, and now I get practically none. Pretty sad that people cannot even look a chubby gal in the face. Or when they do, they comment that my face is not really big at all and it does not match my body. (MOST of my weight is in the apple zone) UGH

Why can't people look at a chubby gal? I try to make eye contact with everyone, but it is rarely returned.

Hmpf!

[ButterflyA]

I felt trapped and hopeless. Naturally I felt frustrated, self conscious & worthless, etc but these feelings weren't as difficult as the sense that it was my fate... that I was condemned to live and be treated that way forever.


That's exactly how I still feel most days- trapped in a body I don't want, and I'm trying desperately to get out of before it quits on me. I don't feel helpless anymore, because I know what I need to do and I'm doing it now.

I tell my DF I wish I could be like a snake and shed my skin, only shed this body instead. :( Sad, but true.

[ysabella]

I feel frustrated sometimes, because controlling my weight is so difficult due to a few health issues. I diet and work out and work out and work out, and very little happens. And even if I make a difference, the next time my thyroid goes out of whack I lose a lot of ground.

However, I refuse to hate myself, or even hate how I look, even though I know I'm supposed to in our society because I'm a size 20. Frankly, there's no percentage in it.
Why waste your energy? All of you are wonderful people and you should enjoy life. If we took all the energy people in this thread have spent disliking themselves and used it for something positive we could really achieve things.

I know it isn't easy sometimes, and I'm glad you're all being honest in this thread. But it distresses me to read it.

[cachetes]

When I read the topic of this thread these words popped into my head:

`ugly
`worthless
`unwanted
`unacceptable
`gross
`bad
`judged
`depressed

Those are just a few. lol. I need to start my diet and soon! Anyone have an unused/un-needed Atkins book? PM me!

Thanks.

Joy

[potatofree]

I'm trying to put aside my feelings about hearing people at or below my goal weight describing themselves as "Fat, disgusting, ugly, worthless..." since I KNOW it's just your perception of you OWN body, but I have trouble getting past it.

You likely wouldn't dream of coming into my journal and telling me all these horrible things about MY body... but reading over and over how being a size 14 is gross, or being huge (at less than my goal weight) and disgusting, and worthless makes me feel judged, even though I KNOW it's not my issue.

So I guess, sometimes, being fat still makes me feel like I have to justify not hating myself, since it's apparently the majority of people who hate fat.

[JaneDough]

I'm trying to put aside my feelings about hearing people at or below my goal weight describing themselves as "Fat, disgusting, ugly, worthless..." since I KNOW it's just your perception of you OWN body, but I have trouble getting past it.

You likely wouldn't dream of coming into my journal and telling me all these horrible things about MY body... but reading over and over how being a size 14 is gross, or being huge (at less than my goal weight) and disgusting, and worthless makes me feel judged, even though I KNOW it's not my issue.

So I guess, sometimes, being fat still makes me feel like I have to justify not hating myself, since it's apparently the majority of people who hate fat.
*STANDING OVATION AND THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE*

[Debbyd]

I don't want to offend anyone, but I have to say that this thread really made me want to cry. I know everyone sees themselves in a different way. I try so hard to work on my self-esteem issues. I hate this body that I have. I do not feel healthy or pretty. My dh says I am gorgeous. But he is blinded by love.
Then I see people who are "skinny" in my book discribe themselves in such unflattering words, it really hurts.
Do you see the rest of us in that light?
Sorry

[Jody100467]

DebbyD - I am a little offended by your comments but only because you would think that this has to do with you somehow...no one on these boards would ever say something to hurt you or others that are here. Our thoughts about ourselves have nothing to do with how we see you. It has to do with how we see and feel about ourselves...and I think that this thread has given people an opportunity to talk about that and get it off of their chest. I started at over 200 pounds and am down to 180 - in no way am I thin or skinny in anyones book. Many of the people who have commented here started at over 200 pounds but it wouldn't matter if they started at 150 pounds...they were overweight and feeling bad about themselves. And if someone is down to their goal weight then maybe they are talking about how it made them feel before. This wasn't meant as something to make you feel bad about yourself or to make you wonder how others see you...its about how we feel about ourselves. It's not meant to be offensive or taken personally in any way. I'm sorry your feelings were hurt. Try not to take it so personally...ok. ;0) Lots of hugs to you!

[Debbyd]

DebbyD - I am a little offended by your comments but only because you would think that this has to do with you somehow...no one on these boards would ever say something to hurt you or others that are here. Our thoughts about ourselves have nothing to do with how we see you. It has to do with how we see and feel about ourselves...and I think that this thread has given people an opportunity to talk about that and get it off of their chest. I started at over 200 pounds and am down to 180 - in no way am I thin or skinny in anyones book. Many of the people who have commented here started at over 200 pounds but it wouldn't matter if they started at 150 pounds...they were overweight and feeling bad about themselves. And if someone is down to their goal weight then maybe they are talking about how it made them feel before. This wasn't meant as something to make you feel bad about yourself or to make you wonder how others see you...its about how we feel about ourselves. It's not meant to be offensive or taken personally in any way. I'm sorry your feelings were hurt. Try not to take it so personally...ok. ;0) Lots of hugs to you!

I apologize. I didn't think. I know that everyone feels the way they feel. That doesn't change because they may be smaller than someone else. I hope everyone will please accept my apologies. We really don't know exactly how someone else feels. So my comments were unkind. Thank you Jody for pointing it out to me. Lots of xxx and ooo's to you.

[codygirl]

hate it soooo much, i feel like i am wearing an extra layer of clothes. nothing fits anymore, yet i refuse to buy anything new. (was 9-10, now 13-14, 5'11 and 184 lbs now)

i want to blame the antidepressants i've been on for the last 6 months, but i also now its my lack of exercise. how to exercise when your lungs strain and you feel like a blimp at the pool/seawall. also, a big stress brings on a big carbo binge, and discredits my previous weeks work.

what i have learned...never never never again will i laugh at the large woman/man struggling to walk/run/be.

[potatofree]

DebbyD-- I don't think you have ANY reason to apologize to anyone. You have as much right to voice your opinion as anyone else. Even though the poster's comments about their own body size aren't directed at anyone else, it STILL hurts to see people hating themselves for being "fat" when they haven't a clue what your struggles are.

I used to bemoan my fate at gaining 20 lbs back when I was a "whopping" 150 pounds. It wasn't until one of my favorite teachers, who happened to be morbidly obese, gave me a good lecture about how insensitive it was to bitch about MY "fat" when I had NO CLUE what is was like to actually BE fat. I really had no clue. I was a bit taken aback until I realized how feeble my complaints must sound to someone who had to struggle to get through the day, had bad knees, bad back, high blood pressure, borderline diabetes, and couldn't lose weight even when on a starvation-level, medically supervised diet.

I had NO intention of hurting her feelings, but I did. She felt like shaking me for not appreciating the freedom that my size afforded me. All I could see was my own warped perception.

Poetic justice, perhaps, that I ended up becoming obese myself. Now the shoe is on the other foot, and I can understand how my words, wich were meant to punish only MYSELF, inflicted pain on her.

Gosh, maybe I should have made HER apologize for being hurt instead of looking in the mirror and learning a few lessons, Jody?

[Debbyd]

I just didn't mean to hurt anyones feelings. I try to be kind as much as possible. I have been obese for so long that I just would give anything to be 150....140.....130. Then again, I would like to be 199. It is taking me forever to get there. I had gotten down to 202, but swung right back up to 205. I haven't weighed in 3 days. I am going to wait a couple of days since I started exercise and see if that helps me out. I have also cut way back on my carbs. I have gotten rid of all my "LC" treats. Threats they are if you ask me. If my dh brings one more goody in this house, I am going to goody him alright. He is a little skinny fellow. I just love that man though. Taint his fault I am in this situation. Thanks for being understanding. I appreciate it. Debby

[potatofree]

I'm glad you're feeling better. Everyone's feelings are valid. The thinner people who hate their bodies are no less entitled to their pain than anyone else, but from the outside it's easier to see how the highest prison walls are the ones we build for ourselves... and we're the only ones with the key.

My intent isn't to make anyone feel stupid for feeling fat at a low weight, just to address the issue that we need to be at LEAST as kind to ourselves as we would be to a stranger. None of us would DREAM of going up to someone on the street and saying the harsh words we say to ourselves.

[galatia]

the highest prison walls are the ones we build for ourselves... and we're the only ones with the key.


That is so true, and well said. :)

[Jody100467]

Gosh, maybe I should have made HER apologize for being hurt instead of looking in the mirror and learning a few lessons, Jody?

Wow...that is not what I said at all and I can't believe that you are infering that I was being mean or unkind to her - I am really offended. I did not say in any way at all that she should apologize for what she said and I didn't give her any reason to. That wasn't at all what I was saying and if you read my post again you will probably see it the way I meant it...I was trying to be kind and help her understand that this thread wasn't aimed at her - just that we all have feelings about our weight whether we are 10 lbs or 100 lbs overweight. My comment to DebbyD in no way indicated that she should apologize (which she shouldn't have) and I NEVER indicated that she didn't have a right to her feelings. I just said that I felt bad that she took what other people had to say so personally. I was trying to make her feel better. Although I do take your comment to me quite personally...it was mean for you to indicate to me that what I said should have extracted an apology from DebbyD. I can't even believe that you would warp what I said in that way. I have been treated like crap my whole entire life for the way I look and for being overweight and to have you make that kind of comment...like I would be unkind to someone like that...is very cruel.

DebbyD - you have no reason to apologize AT ALL. I just didn't want you to feel bad or to think that we look at you the way we see ourselves. I have never EVER in my life looked at another person who is overweight and thought the things about them that I have thought about myself. I am sorry if you felt bad - that wasn't the intention of my response. I just wanted you to feel better and I didn't want you to feel judged or to think that I would look at your stats and think anything poorly about you. We are all in this together - trying to support one another. And I would never ever hurt anyone else - especially in a way having to do with weight because I know how much that hurts. Just last week some women called me a "fat cow" to my face. That would hurt anyone - whether they weighed 140 lbs or 300 lbs.

[Lessara]

At my weight I feel sometimes almost like a non-woman. An "it".
I am forever bumping into things. Sometimes I feel like a bird with lead weights on it. I want to fly but am tied down.

[JaneDough]

I'm glad you're feeling better. Everyone's feelings are valid. The thinner people who hate their bodies are no less entitled to their pain than anyone else, but from the outside it's easier to see how the highest prison walls are the ones we build for ourselves... and we're the only ones with the key.

My intent isn't to make anyone feel stupid for feeling fat at a low weight, just to address the issue that we need to be at LEAST as kind to ourselves as we would be to a stranger. None of us would DREAM of going up to someone on the street and saying the harsh words we say to ourselves.

*BRAVOS AND :rose: :rose: :rose: FROM THE BALCONY*

[Debbyd]

At my weight I feel sometimes almost like a non-woman. An "it".
I am forever bumping into things. Sometimes I feel like a bird with lead weights on it. I want to fly but am tied down.

Gosh Lessara, I feel exactly the same. But I am also so clumsy. I know I walk funny because of the pain in my knee and in my ankles. One day I am going to be so fit that they wont hurt anymore. And you will be a free bird, gracefully soaring the skies. :)

[RabieBaby]

I feel like a giant. When I ride in cars with my skinny friends I feel so big and I am sitting up so higher. I feel self concious to eat in front of people, like they wanna see what the fat girl eats. I always wonder if I would have more friends, more respect, or get that job I was perfectly qualified for but they picked someone else for it.

The worst part for me though is... I feel like my fat wants to bust out of my skin, I can feel the heaviness of the rolls agains my sides, the fat in my neck when I turn my head, my stomach pushing against my pants the feeling like I have a bunched up towel under each arm when i lay them against my side. I dont like the way any of this feels and will be so glad when its gone.

rachael

[veritas14]

I have not put in my 2 cents anywhere on this forum in a long time because due to certain health issues, I have had to switch to an organic diet. Anyway, having 10-15lbs of extra weight on one's body is frustrating. My clothes don't fit. I have dimply fat on my arms and I have never been comfortable with their size anyway. There are rolls on my side and extra unsightly fat on my stomach. I love swimming but I hate putting on a bathing suit because of the extra cellulite on my thighs. I will be 40 in December and I feel matronly.

[Debbyd]

Jody,

I tried to PM you. I want to say, please come back. I would really like the chance to get to know you. This board is a wonderful source of support. Here are some flowers to make you feel better. Debby


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Hugs and kisses,

Debby

[Jody100467]

Oh DebbyD - you are so kind. I appreciate your sweetness. And of all days - today I needed it the most - I am feeling so sad. We loaned some close friends a table - not just any table - one that was handmade by my husband's grandfather and we never had any problems letting them borrow it before. It was really nice - 8 feet long and 3 feet wide with legs that folded down. But they went and loaned it out and now can't seem to get it back. I am pretty sure that we will never see it again. I am devastated for my hubby about it...I know he is feeling worse about it then I am and worst of all...I let them borrow it this time. He doesn't blame me at all but I feel horrible about it...I couldn't sleep last night and I ended up crying for an hour or so. And our friends actually offered us money for it...but the problem is - its simply irreplaceable. And I get the feeling that they just don't really care...and that makes me feel even worse.

Anyway...thanks for being so understanding and kind and replying back. I do understand the point that PotatoFree was making. I have been in the situation where someone who was a size 6 was complaining about their weight and I remember wondering what she must think of me if she thought she was huge in a size 6...lol. I guess what I am saying is that I am sorry...I didn't mean to make you feel bad if I did in any way. Really...I think it was kind of you to respond...and here is a little something for you...

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
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:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[Jody100467]

well...my hugs for you didn't end up looking the way I had planned...but you get the picture. ;0)

[Jody100467]

DebbyD - try to PM me again...I am kind of new and don't know how to use all of the features quite yet. And...by the way - you look terrific! I am really proud of all of the healthy changes that you have made. Your daughters must be so proud of you!

[Judynyc]

Hey Jody!! :wave:

I'm glad to see you posting again!! I did not misunderstand your first posts and did not find them offensive at all....I'm sorry that your first experience here was a confusing one. I also hope that you will start a journal!! :agree:

I think that you will need 25 posts before you can get or send a private message. :idea: Its something like that anyway.....

anywhoooooo...welcome to the forum!! :D

[Debbyd]

DebbyD - try to PM me again...I am kind of new and don't know how to use all of the features quite yet. And...by the way - you look terrific! I am really proud of all of the healthy changes that you have made. Your daughters must be so proud of you!
Jody,
I tried again to pm you. It says you are not allowing private messages. Yes my daughters are so proud of me. Thank you so much for the wonderful comment.
Thanks for all the hugs. Did you know that a hug produces a "feel good hormone" in our bodies that actually keeps us healthier.Hugging generates oxytocin, a "nesting" hormone than may lower stress and protect the heart.
So I love the :hugs: :hug: that you gave me. Debby

[Jody100467]

Thanks Judynyc - I am sooo happy to be here. Thank you for the kind words - you made me feel better about the whole thing...maybe I am too soft inside but I really try to think things through before I say them so that I don't hurt others. If I do hurt others or say the wrong thing - I always apoligize or else I walk around with a lump in my tummy until I can make it right - like I said....soft inside! lol ;0) Anyways...I am really excited about what this woe is doing for me. I have really been sticking to it like glue but I seem to be quite the slow loser - 19.5 pounds since May 15th - and about 3 of it came off over the last 5 or 6 weeks and no inches in that time (very little anyways). I am now starting to add in exercise - I just didn't want to spend my summertime working out when the weather was so beautiful out and the summer days were calling my name to come outside and play. ;0) (and the gardening) Last weekend I bought The Firm's newest program "The Transfirmer" and I am excited to get started so in the meantime I broke out my regular step and started working out this week doing step aerobics in my living room. ;0) Thanks for making me feel welcome.

Debbyd - I love hugs. I'm glad that you enjoyed them. ;0) And thank you for making me feel better and welcome.

I was going to put my email here in case either of you would like to email me....but I'm not sure if that is safe...would I start getting freaky emails from everyone under the sun? lol

[Debbyd]

Debbyd - I love hugs. I'm glad that you enjoyed them. ;0) And thank you for making me feel better and welcome.

I was going to put my email here in case either of you would like to email me....but I'm not sure if that is safe...would I start getting freaky emails from everyone under the sun? lol
Jody,
I would be very careful about putting my email address out. I have been wondering how you are doing. I don't think your loss is slow at all. You are doing fabulous.

Debby

[Jody100467]

Thats kind of what I figured...lol. (about my email address)

yeah...I guess its really not that slow of a loss - I have been doing Atkins for 14 weeks and I am losing an average of 1.4 lbs a week...but I haven't seen much change in a while. I feel like I am doing something wrong but I know that I'm eating exactly what I should be and I don't cheat at all - I don't even lick my fingers when I make cookies for my husband or co-workers...and I make really good cookies - gooey rich stuff like chocolate caramel brownies. I have been so good.

I am staying at induction levels to lose faster and it doesn't seem to bother me at all - as a matter of fact it is a lot easier for me. I am thinking about moving on to owl but I haven't seen a steady weekly loss - I see it every 6 weeks so I don't know how to proceed with it - I wouldn't know if I am continuing to lose or not so I wouldn't know where my ccl is. So I am afraid to try it. I also have a hard time keeping in ketosis and it seems that I do have to be at extremely low levels to burn enough fat for it to register even trace amounts. I lost 12 pounds during the 2 week induction period which put me in the low range for metabolic resistance so I expected to have an easy time losing and had hoped to lose at least 2 pounds a week - instead I don't see hardly anything on an ongoing basis. I have been told to start owl - that it could kick up my loss...what do you think?

I have set a goal to be down 50 pounds by Christmas and there is no way that I am not going to make that goal. I did get on the scale this morning and it said that I am down to 180 - that is another 1/2 pound which brings me to a total of 20! (yeehaa!) Starting this wek I committed myself to focusing on being more active in the evening instead of lazing around and watching the TV and I am getting up early and either riding my bike or walking my pooch. I am going to start doing step aerobics at home in the evening too...to try to get in better shape for when my new stuff from "The Firm" gets here. I have always loved to exercise so that won't be a problem for me - I have just always had a problem putting exercise together with a good diet. I am going to sign up for a twice a week step class that I used to go to and I am going to do my firm stuff at home 3 times a week. I am excited to start seeing inches come off again. I am not discouraged at all - this is different for some reason - I just know that this weight is coming off for good. I feel it deep in the pit of my stomach.

Anyways...I am sorry that this turned out to be such a long post. I really don't have anyone to discuss my "dieting dilemmas" with and have been lurking here for so long...I guess that I should dive in and start posting huh? ;0) Thanks for listening and any advice would be welcome advice.

Jody

[Debbyd]

Jody,

Long posts are great. Post away. It sure looks to me like you are doing a great job. In fact, I think it is awesome progress. Have you thought about starting a journal. I am so glad I did. It helps me to look back and see where I've been. Plus, people post the most upbuilding things. Also, I found it useful to join a water challenge here. It is fun. I have been able to up my water from 0 to 64-96. Love to see you there. Debby


http://forum.lowcarber.org/showthread.php?t=252889

Come join us!!!!!!!

[carabajalk]

I am pretty much a cofident person with myself and am very content with my weightloss so far but there are times when I don't really see the success I've made thus far and go into moods where I feel like have not gotten anywhere but those days are usually brought because of my own fears that I will stay at the weight I am now and not successfully complete the journey that I've begun.At that point I start thinking that the body I'm in right now is only temporary and that I have the determination and will power to finish this and that I will not let my fears bring my down.

[annasophia]

Wow...what A Response To My Post, Thanks Guys...its Weird To Think That All These Emotions Wil Vanish Once We Reach Goal Weight....what A Motivation, Huh?
Xxxx

[Judynyc]

its Weird To Think That All These Emotions Wil Vanish Once We Reach Goal Weight....what A Motivation, Huh?


Your kidding , right? :eek:

You really think that these thoughts and feeling vanish when you hit goal?
I don't think so:nono:......I do think that if we work hard at replacing these negative thoughts with positive ones and engage in conscious self -acceptance at the weight we are at today....then maybe when we hit goal, we can experience the joy of making goal.

I believe that when you allow rampant thoughts of self hatred to exist, they will live on in your mind and heart. We do need to make a conscious effort to not dwell in this negativity.

[potatofree]

Judy's right on! If you hate yourself with 100 extra pounds or 10, without learning to accept yourself and replacing those negatives with positives... there's just no magic number on the scale that's going to make you suddenly look in the mirror and say "Yes. Now I'm worthy, whole, lovely and life is good!" It's the whole body image/self image thing.

I like myself more at my current weight than I did at 120 lbs. That might seem totally foreign, but it's true. I've learned that the size of my hips has no relation to who I really AM. Would I like to be thinner? You bet! Do I still have days where I feel like a huge fat cow? Yup... but I've also learned to finally challenge the idea in my head that today can't be a good day because I have heavy thighs.... does that make any sense to anyone, or am I rambling again? <sigh>

[Quest]

but I've also learned to finally challenge the idea in my head that today can't be a good day because I have heavy thighs.... does that make any sense to anyone, or am I rambling again?

I think it makes perfect sense! It's related to the idea that you can live your life and pursue your goals NOW, without having to wait until you lose weight, or letting weight loss be your only goal.

[camaromom]

I usually don't wander into this area, but something struck me about this thread.

At my highest weight I was 205. I had lost some before I started Atkins. I'm now 143. I still feel fat. When will these feelings go away?

I look in the mirror and I think "Gee, I'm doing a good job". Then DH takes a picture of me and I still see 10 chins, and my belly still looks terribly fat. I have a torn rectus abdominus muscle. The only thing that will help it is plastic surgery, a tummy tuck. DH does not support this idea at all. I hate my body. It wants to hold onto all of this weight. These last 20 pounds are impossible. I'm exercising and eating right, according to fitday. I'm monitoring my calories, but when I eat 10x my body weight I'm hungry all day, and that makes me irritable. Is there a magic weight where these feelings will go away? I doubt it, but I keep trying to hang in there.

[pollypolly]

At my highest weight I was 205. I had lost some before I started Atkins. I'm now 143. I still feel fat. When will these feelings go away?



HA! When you find out, let me know! Seriously, we are the hardest on ourselves. I know exactly what you mean and I'm hoping that time will make it easier to accept. I think you just have to spend some time in this new version of your body before it becomes "you".

I am so much smaller than I was, but I'm still mentally fat. And I'm terrified I always will be. It's like, "What the heck did I make all these changes for, if I'm just going to be looking over my shoulder for the rest of my life, waiting for the fat girl I am to finally catch up with me?" :help:

I'm desperately hoping, for me and for you, that the passing of time will solve all this.

Good Luck! :)

[camaromom]

Thanks Polly! In some ways I feel so much better. But, in other ways I'm still extremely inadequate. I'm exercising and eating right, and the scale is stuck and I feel like I did 40 pounds ago. Hopefully this too shall pass.

[Citruskiss]

Very interesting thread.

Off the top of my head, one of the things that keeps nagging at me is the fact that even though I've lost some weight, I actually feel fatter than I did before.

I'm guessing that by losing some of this excess weight, I'm getting real with myself, and I'm paying attention to what's really going on - whereas before...I was just in some sort of major denial about my weight gain.

But besides all of that...in terms of the question posed...

What does being fat make me feel like?

Oddly, it makes me feel somewhat voiceless. And...I've noticed a theme in some of the responses here - that sense of being invisible. For me, it's not so much feeling invisible in terms of whether I'm noticed or not...but more like I'm not being heard.

Maybe it all fits into the same thing - being invisible translates rather easily into feeling like you're not being heard. Not being seen, and not being heard.

Somehow, the "not being heard" resonates more for me.

Like I don't have a right to my own feelings. That somehow...because I've gained weight, I'm not someone to take all that seriously. That the extra fat covers it all up, and makes *me* less human, less real and less important.

Funny how being larger means sounding smaller.

As if the extra weight is smothering my voice. Muffling it.

Hard to say whether my perception is skewed due to lowered self esteem and I'm imagining or perhaps recognizing that I'm not being heard, or if ...I'm actually lowering my voice in order to make myself "go away".

Funny how being larger is a way of making oneself disappear.

(I'm shaking my head at that one...because I know that for myself, it's so true, yet...I'm amazed by the irony of it all).

I wonder if perhaps the reason I'm feeling bigger (despite being smaller) is because I'm afraid to speak...

I'm feeling fatter with each lost pound...

To keep those layers wrapped around me...so I can still feel safe.

The more I lose weight, the more frightened I become, and ...lo and behold...the fatter I feel.

Perhaps making myself feel fat is a way of protecting myself from being seen, from being heard.

Why am I hiding from myself? And why am I keeping myself from the world?

What am I so afraid of??????

[VictoriaT]

Being fat sucks.

I have been overweight since I was 13 years old. I am the first born, the good child-never drank, never smoke, never even wanted/thought of doing any drugs. I got straight As. I was always everyones friend. no one ever wanted to date me. Everyone thought I was nice and happy all the time. I never wore anything nice b/c frankly I didnt think I was worth the $20 shirt. Even today, I dont buy myself nice things b/c I figure I look like a blimp so Ill wear target and Kmart and walmart stuf until I can fit into a size 14. Happy gal-that was me.

Meanwhile, I was dying inside. I was/am so embarrased. I am always the fattest person everywhere we go. I HATE feeling like a failure. I HATE feeling like Im going to die b/c Im so fat. I HATE feeling inadequate around thinner poeple.

I remember waiting in line one hour for a roller coaster to get on and not be able to fit into the seat. So, I had to walk off and listen to people snicker.

I remember the rude comments poeple would make to me.

I got my PhD in Pharmacology and Toxicology and I run a lab. Im very confident in my abilities, yet sometimes I hold back (Science wise). I still feel like Im not good enough, even though I know I do a great job. I feel like everyone is always looking at me wondering how I am so fat.

I dont go out much b/ cIm sick of being the fattest person everywhere I go and not being able to eat Frenhc fries, cake, etc that every one of myf riends eats constantly (yes, my 100 lbs friends)!

Im embarrased that I got to 262 and then decided to eat crap again and now Im up to 271. I feel like a failure...AGAIN. So, what do I do? Keep eating until I balloon up to 310 and cry and worry again. Im well on my way. Why? Who the heck knows!

OK-sorry for a negative post. ITs good to get out what I feel. :)

Im trying my dangest to do well for me, for my son and for my health. Im trying. Just once I wish I could feel GOOD --truly good-about me.

Have a great night. It feels good to get some of this out.

Vicki

[Miss Katz]

I feel beautiful fat, but I wanted to know if people would treat me differently if I lost weight. I never felt "fat", I always felt normal and comfortable. There are times when I hate parts of my body, but that's not common. I usually feel confident about my body, but not when other people make nasty comments. When people say mean things I get angry at their insensitivity, whether the comment is because I'm too fat or too skinny or too whatever. They have no right to judge me. Self hatred is learned, but self love can be learned too and I hope that you all know you are beautiful at any size because think about it. It's not just size that can make people beautiful, nice hair, nice skin, a warm personality can ALSO make someone beautiful. The media was designed to make money off our insecurities. But you deserve to be happy and appreciate the skin you are in because soon you will have to deal with effects of aging and maybe even disease, you never know what can happen. I see myself in the mirror everyday and I see someone stunning in my eyes. I started being confident at an early age and read lots of self help books and I think that helped me alot.

[Vgal]

I think it makes perfect sense! It's related to the idea that you can live your life and pursue your goals NOW, without having to wait until you lose weight, or letting weight loss be your only goal.

How being fat makes me feel? Disgusting, repulsive, repugnant, invisible (or the need to be), ugly, unwanted, undesirable, outcast, asexual, failure, depressed, angry.

So much of my opinion of myself is tied directly into my appearance and as much as I realise this is WRONG and unhealthy, I can't help myself. Being fat makes me hide, hide, hide! Away from people, avoiding situations, under layers of clothes which will become increasingly impossible due to climate changes. And I know that reaching my goal weight is not going to suddenly change everything, I won't allow myself certain things until I do.

[cdcgic]

IT makes me feel ugly and therefore bad, as if those two things came together! i hate being fat! on top of that someone made the comment today i am lucky not to have kids cuz they would make me gain weight!!! as if i had chosen not to be able to have kids!!!