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steaksauce
Fri, Apr-15-05, 17:28
Ladies, please call me Steaksauce, but the name comes from a different reason than the low- carb stuff. I was urged to post a reply that I wrote to Senior member Rodmick, who suggested that I open my words to more of you. I decided to post it here.... I hope this is an appropriate home. So here goes:

First, lemme say that curvygirls are hot as blazing buffalo wing sauce! Don't be so hard on yourselves... When guys watch you, they just can't stop seeing the beautiful curves!

All you women.... You get many guys sooooo frustrated and red/blue in the face when we tell you all that although you're on a quest that will take you where you'll feel better (hopefully!) about yourselves, that so often, y'all wind up beating yourselves up when you shouldn't be doing anything but lopping praise on (like a dollup of mayonaise, Atkins- style!) What's the point in being pickayune about things, when really, many fellas love a woman who has the glow in her smile and confidence in herself. The thighs or breasts (are we talking the low- carb, unbreaded chicken??!!! AHHH!) and the tummy, from a guy's perspective, is part of the beauty and aura of a woman who the right guy can't stand being away from.

Who made you women feel that having those beautiful curves somehow means that you're less- than appealing? Just like the woman I wrote about, kelly77. How often we men are ignored by women, who tend to think that a guy looking her way thinks she's unattractive. How often I've made eye contact with a curvygirl (prrrrr......) and she looks away or looks down. How often do compliments get rejected while a single comment can be misconstrued into an emotional beat-down on her physical being? Ugghhhh!

Please, ladies, relax. Men love you. Well, both good and bad men, but hey, they still do! You have the attraction, the appeal, that yum that guys turn into putty over, but you don't believe in that appeal, so you reject it, which has a good chance of rejecting the man that you deny must feel what he does. Please, we're talking about the initial attraction, as well as the long- term one, too. I'm not looking at women as all physical, but if the guys like what they see, let them swallow their own drool!

Some -- many -- feel that you just can't turn attraction on. No, you can't. Attraction isn't worth a hill of beans unless it comes from you, though. Who cares whether someone accepts us, unless we accept ourselves? Does it even matter if someone, or a whole army, accepts us if we reject ourselves? Rejection has so much more to do from our inner demons than from any person you don't know, or know well. Maybe you can pull some good feelings from the beautiful heart you have. I'm sure most of you are selfless and giving. Most probably have caring hearts, and would give so much to someone who is worth giving to. Well, guess what? You've answered the first task... give back to yourself. Give yourself a mental embrace that comes from your own heart, that you're a beautiful person. If there were more people with the same giving hearts and sensitivities that you have, wouldn't this world be so much better? Make it better, then, one person at a time, starting with giving yourself credit for being sweet, caring, loyal, sensitive, charming, and worth the effort.

Well, I guess that's all I have to say about that. If you want, just drop a note here, maybe I can help if you just need some emotional support from someone who cares about others, too.


Steaksauce

PS- I wish I knew where that one post from kelly77 was, it tore my heart. Why be alone? Why feel rejected? Why feel so tortured? I hope all of you step up to the plate and reach out to someone, from your soul, your spirit, your very being. This weight loss crap can sometimes pummel a tender heart to the point of failure, so please, just reach out a hand and a heart and help dust someone off and walk with them for a while so their inner strength feels like they aren't alone, after all. Sorry if I talk too much, and I added some since my original post. And don't scold me about spellchecks, I'd do it, but would probably start editing this down.

uggamugga4
Fri, Apr-15-05, 20:09
WOW DID YOU SAY IT!!!!!!!!!

You're words remind me of my favorite artist, Les Toil. Check out his work. This is the reason why I WANT to keep my curves, while I work out, drink water, and EAT, not for weight loss, but HEALTH!! Time to accept our bodies in the package we were given!!!

Check out these woman.. I warn you. You should probably bring some tissues to blot the drool from your mouth. Haha

http://http://www.lestoil.net/bbpg/welcome.html (http://www.lestoil.net/bbpg/welcome.html)


TO CURVY WOMEN, and the men who love them!


P.S.. Fuller men are so much more all that than smaller men, in my opinion.. ;)

Christal
Fri, Apr-15-05, 20:11
Very well said Steaksauce. :)

If only society at large would back you up, it would be so much easier to believe. I think it is the overall "covergirl" idea of beauty which is so pervasive in our society that really convinces us "curvy girls" we'll never measure up unless we somehow whip ourselves into the appropriate, acceptable shape. And, in my case, for most of my developmental years, I was told that very thing, both by people close to me and meaning well AND those who just enjoyed beating the "fat girl" down.

I DO believe what you are saying -- I FEEL it -- and it is so refreshing, inspiring and uplifting to read it here at this forum, where so many wrestle with self-image, self-esteem and self-acceptance. Thanks -- I'll probably return here to read this again, to remind myself that not everyone thinks curves are "ugly". :)

epix
Fri, Apr-15-05, 20:20
I am a guy and agree that there are lots of men that like curvy women.. I am one of them!

It is a shame that our society focuses so much that being perfect is to have a slender body. This idea does influence how we think and act. Many times making us feel not confident.

Build up the confidence and be open. (Harder said than done..) but it is worth it

rodmick
Fri, Apr-15-05, 20:32
Good Job STEAKSAUCE!!! I'm so glad you shared your thoughts!!!

Ladies, he was too good to keep to myself!!! You know I really do think he is right on the $$$$$ and many many many men agree ( mine included)!
At goal~ still curvey and hour glass I had a few guy buddys tell me to gain some weight back.
Men are not nearly as critical as other women in my opinion. Of course I do not mean you women on this board.

Ayustar
Fri, Apr-15-05, 20:53
Thank God someone said this. I mean, I have to battle with whether I should eat or not because I am scared to death to eat and gain weight. Mostly for the fear someone is going to think I am fat or for myself to think that! I still think I am. I think society puts too much pressure on people to be perfect and thin. It gets to you after a while.

Thank you so much for saying this. I am not sure if I can fully accept it, but at least a male posted it, it's more reassuring somehow.

tedpas44
Fri, Apr-15-05, 21:35
Oh yes! And I am glad that you said it too.

More times than I care to remember I have offered compliments that were rejected out of hand by my curvy woman because she just couldn't believe me. It has always been painful to me to see some women, striving to reach some single digit size because they wanted to feel good about themselves. It isn't necessary and mostly it is undesireable.

Please ladies, do what you must but realize that if your man or some man in your life compliments you --- accept it. If we offer the compliment it is well deserved. You are beautiful as you are. Change if you want, but don't change for me.

Ted

rodmick
Fri, Apr-15-05, 21:36
Great Comment Ted!!!

ellen4621
Fri, Apr-15-05, 21:37
Thank you! :rose:

Christal
Fri, Apr-15-05, 21:45
I love that....."change if you want, but don't change for me" :)

So supportive, yet reassuring at the same time. Nice!

IvannaBFit
Fri, Apr-15-05, 22:57
I've always thought . . . if all men only desired tall, skinny models, all we would have left on earth would be tall, skinny models!

Ayustar
Fri, Apr-15-05, 23:10
I would kill to have a body like that yes, but in reality....hahahaha, I like the way it looks of course...but...it's clearly not worth it. I like food too much and well, damn lol. I am too short to be a model anyways...lets not even go into my face and the way it looks hahahaa. But it is great to know men feel that way at least some of them. There is hope! Lol.

rodmick
Fri, Apr-15-05, 23:15
Now I sure wouldnt want a super model body except for a few (cindy crawford looks nice and curvey not like a little girl). To many are built like tall pre- pubescent girls.

Ayustar. I've seen your pics! Your a lovely woman. Thats it girl! I'm sending you to attitude school. No offense meant. You really need to learn to see what the rest of us see when we look at your pics. A very pretty woman!

Ayustar
Fri, Apr-15-05, 23:28
I have had such a hard time with self image...when you are overweight your intire life and it made you pretty unattractive and you were drilled with that everyday, even when you have an overhaul in the way you look it is still hard to get used to things. I still haven't, I look a lot different.

But...thank you so much for your kind comments!

rodmick
Sat, Apr-16-05, 06:57
Ayustar, We need to be able to swap a tad of self image and we'd have a perfect blend! At 207 I looked in the mirror and thought I looked just fine. Heavens when I now see pics I look so bloated like a balloon. Oddly enough though I didn't see it in the mirror. I still saw size 6 me! Now if I had a tad of your consciouness I would have really seen the fat!! The mind is a crazy thing I guess.
An exercise we do with the middle school girls ( because so many tiny girls wont eat cuz they say they are fat!) is to give them a 6 ft long huge piece of paper and have them draw life size what they think their body shape and size is. We then get another sheet and have them buddy up and trace their actual body shape lying on the paper. The difference is amazing! So many draw their percieved body shape 50% bigger than they actually are. I have yet to see a girl draw her shape smaller instead of larger.Its a good way to help body image.

Pollyanna
Sat, Apr-16-05, 07:56
OMG steaksauce, i think i'm in love. oh yeah, i am married. hehe. Actually i have a very supportive husband, but it is so refreshing to hear a positive point of view from a guy. thank you - you made my day! Marlene

misskimbee
Sat, Apr-16-05, 08:18
Your post was truly appreciated, steaksauce :) Very genuine, very sincere. I think you've made the day of a lot of gorgeous women on this site. :)

bellybuton
Tue, Apr-19-05, 09:52
I now have a smile on my face!!! It means alot for women to hear this Steaksauce...and I thank you! :)

steaksauce
Tue, Apr-19-05, 12:38
Well, hush my fuss, you all. I didn't even think anyone bothered to read my thoughts, yet I see that Pollyanna, Bellybuton and Misskimbee connected with my thoughts! I'm so glad. But I want everyone to really believe in yourselves all the time. Reinforce your outer beauty through your inner spirit. It can be so easy to feel bouts of low self- esteem when you forget to believe in yourselves, by remembering that one's true beauty comes from how your heart feels. Oh, if you could sense what I'm trying to say. How virtually all your beauty is reflected by believing in yourself. No one else can give that to you, and no one has the power to strip that from any of us. Only you can yield your inner smile, if you begin to lose hope.

I hope all of you can see the response I wrote, it's for each of you. Pollyanna, I loved Nova Scotia! Misskimbee, I've wanted to visit Yellowknife... But I had second thoughts after flying over the area a few months ago (it looked pretty barren, far different than my visions of endless pinewood forests).As for Michigan, it didn't impress me... but I love belly buttons, especially innies! (I blush now that I've written that). You should be proud of your progress, not only the 3 that I know have responded, but everyone who reads this. Please feel free to write back if you ever want to chat, or if you just would like a supportive shoulder to lean on.

With all sincerity,
Steaksauce

PS: Gee whiz, I didn't notice that there was a whole first page of responses!! I feel happy.... My friend Rodmick, who was the first to respond to my initial post here (Rodmick, I love reading your mail!) told me to copy a response I wrote her and post it here. You all... All of you.... please reach out to one another. Please, if you're strong, or if you're weak, reach out. I feel a strong sense of support throughout this forum, and if we all make a conscious effort to help even one person like evey week, or even every other week.... and if you feel like it's become a struggle, if you could just reach out to someone that you feel a connection with.... all that paying it forward will make positive connections permeate and strengthen everyone's resolve! Wow.

dws1119
Fri, Apr-22-05, 21:32
:wave: :Party:
Steakhouse,
I just wanted to add my thoughts to the other ladies. Thank you for your kind words. So many of us do not realize how beautiful we really are. There are many men out there who perfer a woman with curves.
But in a society where 7,8,9 yr old girls are putting themselves on diets, what do you expect. If you look at the old masters--woman were revered for being curvey, voluptuous. It is a whole lot healthier than being stick thin.

puddypark
Sun, May-08-05, 10:16
Steaksauce--Epix--Ted---
THANK YOU!!
It took me years to accept myself for who I was! Then I got married and kind of thought that a part of me had died--my husband stopped telling me all of those wonderful things he said when we first met.
Then I started to lose weight and (I work with all men) when a guy I worked with told me that I looked good and wanted to date me --my self-image skyrocketed! I forget that side of me--the side can still be attractive to men --I always thought if your married then you should just keep it to yourself.
Well it sure has helped my relationship with my darling husband (I would never cheat on him but......WOW!!) when I feel attractive and wanted!!
So now I strut my stuff and if ya don't like it fine and if ya do-- that is fine too cuz I am going home to a great guy who I was taking for granted as much as he was!
Thanks for this thread!!