im desperate!!!!!

[Micha]

ok, heres how it is i am 14 years old, and i have actually become obsessed with this whole weight loss thing like i know im not "fat" but im just striving for like a perfect body i guess you can say or at least down to me being happy. I am very unhappy right i have very good willpower i dont need sweets and pop. Exercise is ok as long as its not that hard. My friend had gone on the Stanley Bernstiens Diet and she said even though it ws a waste of money to go to the clinic, she lost 25 pounds in 2 monthes and could give me all the information and what pills to take for free. I have read many things of how this is very unhealthy for you, but i cannot just eat healthy and excersise 30 min. a day its just really bothering me now cuz ive tryed a lot to lose weight. I am willing to the bernstein diet i only need to lose like 20 pounds and the only thing i need is for it to be FAST because i cannot just go on with my life and lose 1 pound a week. Im to obsessed and its all i think about its horroble. I feel i cannot ever be pretty if i dont lose weight. I dont know what to do anyone out there with advice or the same problem please answer. All replys are appreciated!!!!!!!
Thanx
Micha :help:

[LukeA]

Hi Micha,
To me it sounds like you are on the verge of some serious eating disordered behavior along with deppression. At your age i had the same thing, and i did eventually become anorexic and required hospitalization. The whole situation was bad for me, and all involved...beleive me it is not a good road to take. At your weight that you are now it is not imperative to lose pounds asap, and rather a slow but study loss is very healthy. I know it gets frustrating at times, but one needs to work on the mental aspects of being healthy just as much as the physical. Try repeating to yourself phrases such as "i am a good person even if i have a few extra pounds". Once you are able to be happy on the inside the pounds will come off, and more importantly stay off (its not always hard to lose, but keeping pounds off is the real challenge beleive me!). Stick to the atkins wol if that is your choice, and in time those pounds will be gone. Fretting about getting them off to quick will most likely result in binging etc soon after if your get to obsessed about it! Also, people who lc tend to have more muscle mass than people who go the low fat route, so the pounds dont always mean as much since lcers tend to fit into smaller sizes than lferts at the same weight.
Anyway good luck, and know that there are many people here all the time if you need support!!

- Luke

[Lesle]

Hi Micha
I agree with Luke....please be careful you don't get caught in the mindset that, if the scale doesn't say what you THINK it should say, that you are not a beautiful, wonderful young woman!
You are just beginning what I hope will be a wonderful life for you. What I would suggest you do is learn all you can about nutrition and how to be good to yourself. The advantage YOU have (over all us old folks) is that you are a growing young woman. You will grow taller and leaner, if you eat well and exercise.
Go for a walk after school, lay off the chips and sodas, eat more veggies and lean meats, and enjoy! Post here often....lots of good advice and support here too! I know!
Lesle

[mammac-5]

Hi, Micha.

I have daughters ages 14 and 16 so I feel I can relate some to what you're feeling/thinking. I have some questions that I'd like you to answer, if you wouldn't mind.

1. How tall are you?

2. What sports or physical activities are you involved in during/after school?

3. Tell us 3 special and unique things about yourself, such as: I am a great friend or I love to ride horseback or My favorite subject in school is science, or whatever pertains to you.

4. Tell us the absolutely worst thing you can think of happening in your life, such as: Losing your parents or losing your ability to read or being embarrassed in front of your friends, etc. Whatever pertains to you.

Why? Because I think it will be very helpful for you to focus on some of the other very important things going on in your life.

I'd like to "talk" to you some more about this once you take some time to answer those questions for us. Thanks!

Mammac

[potatofree]

I think a good place to start is to talk to your parents about your concerns and scedule a check-up. A doctor can give you a thorough check up and advise you on 1. If indeed a diet is the right thing for you. 2. Healthy ways NOT involving pills to lose weight if you indeed need to.

I resorted to unhealthy means to lose what I saw as "excess" weight when I was about your age. (BTW it is common for girls to feel "fat" when their bodies are adjusting to the changes of puberty, this makes it the most dangerous time to fall into disordered eating behavior) I ended up wrecking my metabolism and ended up at nearly 300 lbs. I don't think you want to head THAT direction...

I know it's not what you want to hear, but when I hear young girls saying the same things I did, I can't help but want to warn them. If you can spare yourself the unhappiness and weight problems I had, PLEASE try.

[Monika4]

Dear Micha,

I have a 15 year old daughter who is 5'7" and weighs about 140 lbs. So I had to answer you!

First, as you see, nobody here is giving you advice how to loose 20 lbs - why not? Because it would be very bad for you to try to loose 20 lbs, especially fast. Is this someone's opinion here or is there a more objective way to say?

To find out your BMI and what is normal, go to this Website:

http://nhlbisupport.com/bmi/bmicalc.htm, or
http://www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/dnpa/bmi/calc-bmi.htm

These are calculators where you put in your height and weight,
and it gives you your BMI. They also indicate what BMI is normal, under or overweight. I am also 5'7" and clearly can loose some more weight but I am (just barely) in the normal range.

You are in the lower third of the normal range, but your goal weight of 118 lbs puts you at just at the edge where you would be considered underweight - which is not healthy. So your goal puts you below what is good for you.

So, once we have established that you don't have a weight problem, and shouldn't loose 20 lbs, then you should really stop doing Atkins or any other diet - you don't have to drink soda or eat candies, but you shouldn't try to loose weight.

Instead, we have to figure out why you are desperate.

Which brings me to the other suggestions - talk to someone you trust - your parents, your physician, a teacher, the school counselor, or the parents of a friend. As others here said, there is danger in going onto a diet in your state of mind. Many teenagers and their parents find this age difficult - there are so many changes in body, feelings, attitudes of you to the world, of the world to you. It helps to find people to talk to, and you should.

If you really can't find someone to talk to, call one of the teenage hotlines, for example 1-800-448-3000 or 1-800-443-8336.

It might help you to talk to other girls who feel just like you!
http://chat.girlsandboystown.org/hotline.asp

But I hope you find the courage and strength to talk to a real person soon about how you feel - it is possible to feel better!

[Micha]

thank you everyone who replyed i have thought about this depression that i was in and i think that maybe i dont really have anything to rush to lose weight for. I think that instead of using the car i would walk and just basically eat healthy meaning no candy and pop and "a lot" of fast food. I feel that if i keep thinkin about it it will just make the situation worse then it is. I have decided to just concentrate on other things such as planning things with friends. Stuff like that i feel that if i just do things one day at a time everything will be ok.
Thanx
Micha :thup:

[MissScruff]

I hope it all works out for you. Gosh, I remember being your age and the pressure to have a perfect body was intense! But, the problem is, whose perfect body are we trying to model ourselves after? It sounds as though eating and exercising to be healthy and hanging out with your friends is a good idea! Best of luck and wishes of happiness!

[LukeA]

Micha, i am very glad to read about your plans, they sound very good, and good luck to you! :)

[Lindazkewl]

Hi, Micha. Your plan does sound good and it sounds like you have a really good head on your shoulders :) Remember, that it's the media that dictates to society what beauty is. What is the gold standard for beauty? The most beautiful part of a person is on the inside - how they treat other people and how they love themselves. I'm sure you're already a very beautiful person. Of course we all want to be happy with ourselves and to be healthy. Just try to eat pretty healthy, try not to fall into too much of the junk food traps out there, especially aimed at young people, and be comfortably active. Don't worry about it, just take good care of yourself and you'll be just fine, really :agree: :wave: