My 6-year old needs help!

[trishw1213]

My 6-year-old daughter keeps gaining weight and I don't know what to do about it. She weighs 106 lbs. I took her to my doctor a couple of months ago because I felt her pediatrician wasn't doing enough (she wouldn't order blood tests, just kept telling me to put her on a low-fat diet and exercise plan). So she was tested for diabetes, thyroid, etc. and all came out fine. It's getting to the point that I can't get clothes to fit her, I'm having to buy adult sizes and trimming them off, and then she outgrows them within no time. She is constantly telling me that she's hungry and cries when I won't let her have snacks even though she's just finished a big meal. I don't buy much junk food at all, but I do buy some because she's a kid and I feel bad for depriving her. I've never wanted to put her on a diet because I don't want to see her having self-esteem problems and issues with food her whole life, like I have. I was also an overweight child, but not when I was as young as she is. She's going into 2nd grade this week and kids are going to start to take notice. I feel horrible, like this is my fault. I don't want her to suffer. I'm scared because diabetes runs in my family and it will only be a matter of time for her. My mom is currently blind and bedridden at 58 because of a lifetime of ignoring her diabetes. How can I help my daughter w/o calling attention to her weight problem and making an issue of it? I have never once told her she is fat and I never will. She is a beautiful girl, by the way.

[meagan]

You need to consult with another doctor. She can go in for a "regular check up " after the doctor gets her history from you ahead of time, then talk to the doctor later. She will be fine if you find out what's going on. Just keep looking until you get the answer that you need.

[twistermom]

How about an outside activity? I was over weight as a kid and I don't want my daughter to be also, so she is in competitive cheerleading. Great exercise and self esteem builder!

[potatofree]

She is beautiful, I'm sure, and lucky to have a Mom who cares. I suggest the book "Carbohydrate Addicted Kids" By Dr Richard Heller. I just ordered it myself from ebay for $4. It came highly recommended in the LC Parents forum.

No need to ever say "you're fat", you're SO right there. I'm even careful when I talk about my OWN diet... I use terms like "Making myself healthier" and such.

When I need to "deprive" my son of a lot of the junk foods he craves, I try to find the healthiest alternatives possible, and explain to him that the food he asked for will make him unhealthy if he eats too much too often, and let him help me prepare a healthier option. Hopefully, he'll have "unhealthy" in the back of his mind and moderate his own intake when out of my sight later on. ;) It just seems like eating junk breeds cravings for MORE junk in him. That's why I ordered the book. I hope it has more answers.

[trishw1213]

What I need to do is get off my own butt and exercise with her. For some reason she really likes the Denise Austin tapes, and I know she would probaly do them more if I did it with her. As far as outside activity, she does this a lot and loves the trampoline and bike-riding. I think her activity level is pretty close to that of others her age. The problem is her food consumption. What do you do with a kid who won't stop eating? I don't want to tell her she can't have the amount she wants at mealtime, or that she can't have seconds. But oftentimes she eats more than I do. I know she eats much more than I do in the course of a day. I have no idea what she eats all day when I'm at work and she's at my parents'. I shudder to think. Luckily being in school is positive in that respect (as long as we don't get those wretched school lunches.) I've tried gently talking to her about good and bad foods and about not eating out of boredom, etc., and she seems to get it about the junkfood, but not about eating when she isn't hungry. I'm afraid this just may be something I've passed down, this compulsive behavior.

[trishw1213]

potatofree, thanks for the tip on the book. I'll check that out ASAP.

[Zuleikaa]

Your daughter is carb addicted. The classic reaction of carbohydrate addicts is an unending and ever escalating appetite when eating carbs more than once a day. This is not due to you or your daughter's behavior but a fauty insulin regulation and delivery system. It's a physical/physciological problem.

CAD Science
http://forum.lowcarber.org/showthread.php?t=90994

CAD Overview and General Rules
http://forum.lowcarber.org/showthre...&threadid=68691

Experiences of some CAs
http://forum.lowcarber.org/showthread.php?t=166382

CAD QUIZ
http://www.entelechy.to/amarillazone/Carb/quiz.html

CAD Cheat Sheet
http://forum.lowcarber.org/showthre...796#post1148796 CAD

CAD Stall list
http://forum.lowcarber.org/showthread.php?t=117457

Do get the book, Carbohydrate Addicted Kids as Potato free said. It will be the problem's solution for you and your daughter.

Meanwhile, here are some threads so that you can understand the problem and solution.

Keep in mind that this is targeted to adults and the Hellers approach the situation for children a little differently.

[pha1226]

I would get your parents on board with your plan and make sure they're not giving her a lot of junk food.

My kids are normal weight (they're 4 and 2) but I worry since obesity is a problem on both sides of our family. My 4 y.o. was very timid so we enrolled her in karate to help her self-confidence. I didn't realize what a great workout she would be getting also. In only 2 classes a week since April, she's gotten little visible muscles in her biceps, upper and lower legs. And she loves it! I'm sure you could find something physical that your daughter enjoys.

[Hilary M]

If you don't want to put your daughter on a diet (understandable), why not try making healthy choices for the whole family? Get sugar out of the house completely. Do not buy junk food, period. Cook more vegetables and less starchy side dishes at meal time. She won't be eating any differently than mom, dad and siblings, so she won't feel singled out and criticized. What she eats at school may be more out of your hands, but at least you can control what KINDS of foods she's eating at home.

As for overeating, not to trivialize this, but I have the same problem with my husband. I've learned to cook only what we'll eat, or if I plan on having leftovers, to take them out of the pan before I even serve him supper. If I cook him 3 chicken breasts he will eat every single one, but if I only cook him 1 he just eats that and doesn't complain that he's still hungry, because of course he's not. Try cooking a set amount of food for the family, so serving sizes are pre-determined and there's no going back for seconds and thirds. If she complains that she's hungry, make sure any snack foods in the house are healthy (veggies, fruits, etc.).

[trishw1213]

Great ideas, Hilary. I guess the biggest step is getting the rest of the family (mainly my husband) to agree to it. He's an anomaly, a 140 lb rack of bones who can eat anything he wants and not gain an ounce, and he loves his Doritos. I'm sure I could get him to agree to eat the junk food at work or whatnot. However, he is not the only one to blame, I also have to get and keep MYSELF on track in order to be a good influence on her. I have to admit that I when I go off the wagon, I really go off and it's hard to avoid buying some junky snacks. But for her to lose weight, having these things can't be an option because she doesn't know how to enjoy them in moderation. It's just so hard, I feel like she's a kid facing an adult problem and it just isn't fair that she can't be like other kids and enjoy treats without worry.

[Hilary M]

It's just so hard, I feel like she's a kid facing an adult problem and it just isn't fair that she can't be like other kids and enjoy treats without worry.

I know, it doesn't seem fair. But I myself was overweight as a kid and grew up with terrible eating habits. My dad and my sisters are like your husband — skinny little things who can eat a bag of Doritos, a 2-liter of Mt. Dew and 6 Krispy Kremes a day without gaining an ounce. So having junk food in the house was very common, and I grew up loving it and still struggle with the "addiction" to crappy foods. The sooner you can try to wean her off of them, the better it will be for her in her teenage/adult life.

I know it's hard not enjoying treats like the other kids, but if you were overweight in high school you might remember how very much harder it is to be the fat girl when you're 16. It would be better, in my opinion, to have her feel a little different now than to let her go through that later.

[liz175]

I strongly recommend the book, "How to Get Your Kid to Eat, but Not Too Much" by Ellyn Satter. I more or less followed the principles in that book when raising my two kids (now ages 14 and 18) and neither of them has any sort of weight or eating problem, even though they were both plump in elementary school (my daughter is 5'6" and about 120 or 125 pounds and my son is about 6'2" and 155 pounds).

I'd also look for a new doctors, if there are other options available. There are a lot of diseases that can cause sudden weight gain and overeating in children (things like Pradi Willi syndrome -- which it doesn't sound like your daughter has) and it doesn't sound as though your doctor is treating your concerns seriously.

[potatofree]

Whenever I think about not wanting to single my son out food-wise, I think of the little neighbor girl who was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes. She HAS to avoid a lot of the foods the other kids eat, or she'll throw her insulin off and have DIRE consequences...even death. She grumbles occasionally, but accepts her situation and really doesn't seem to be all that bothered by it. She accepts that those foods make her sick, and her mom admits that sometimes she DOES feel "too different" but she assures her that none of it is HER fault and she's done nothing wrong to cause it, and it helps. Once the girl understood she wasn't being punished, she handled it just fine!

Granted, a cupcake at a birthday party won't put YOUR child into such a dire condition, but maybe explaining it to your parents and husband in a way that spells out that obesity puts her at a higher risk for diabetes, high blood pressure and developmental problems all the same might help them understand, and make them more likely to see it as a medical necessity rather than feeling sorry for her and slipping her treats...which even loving, well-meaning grandmas can do. :D

[bluesfan88]

i stumbled onto this thread .first off like your daughter i gained so many pounds ( 20 pounds in like 2 years)....i was 15 and that is when my mom started to worry. my mom knew it was not right that i was gaining so much so she started to do research and decided to put me on lc last september. and after 5 weeks of low carbing my period came back. it only came 2 times in the last year and then after lcing for 5 weeks it came back it was awesome, and weird.
now i am 16 and a billion blood tests, and a wonderful doctor who tested different things(thyroid, diabietis, and others) and looking at the reviews from the other gillion doctors i had seen , she finally came to the conclusion that i have a small case of pcos .my mom found a doctor who is a obgyn but she specializes in pcos . and she was awesome she drew everything out for me and told me if i do this this will happen and if i don't do this, then this will happen. i know for me being 16 it was very nice to get all the infomation, and not be told that i am fine. the only thing i needed to do was excersise and eat right to start feeling better. even though that is what i have to do i also wasn't gettting my period. one doctor just wanted to put me on the pill. but being the mom that my mom is (she sounds just like you ...very conserned for me and wanted to know exactly what was wrong ) she would not allow them to put me on the pill.
I do not know about your daughter but i always feel aweful when i eat alot of sugar . eatting pizza ect. every so often is fine but all the time is not good, as you probuly know. but i also think that you should clear everything out of your house that is not "good" and try to see if eatting in proporsion does something for her. and she HAS to learn to not over eat. it is a very hard thing to learn.belive me . and you want to get this under control really soon. and maybe not eatting when ever she wants will teach her that she only can eat at certain times ...for instance breakfast , snack in the morning, lunch, afternoon snack, and then dinner . i always have to have a morning snack or else i start to feel dizzy , and really tired . so maybe something like this might help.

sorry that this is so long . and i know you weren't looking for advice from a teenager, but when i talked to my mom she told me i should respond and tell u about pcos and tell you my story . i know i am 10 years older then your daughter but you seem like my mom in so many ways and are so scared for your daughter . i really wish that i knew like 6 years ago that i had pcos , it really would of helped , and not made us so confused.

i really hope everything works out for you and your daughter . it is awful feeling not knowing what is going on inside of you or inside of your daughter .
good luck again :)

[trishw1213]

Thanks for your replies everyone. Liz, thanks for the book referral, I will definitely check it out. I guess the main problem in dealing with a six-year old is that she DOESN'T UNDERSTAND why overeating is bad, she doesn't understand the risk of health problems, and she isn't quite old enough to suffer emotionally the effects of being overweight, but we all know it's coming. That's why I worry more everyday. I wish I could go back in time, because the weight gain hasn't exactly been sudden. She's been on the chunky side from the time she was a small toddler, but I guess I just always thought she would grow out of it at some point. It wasn't until about six months ago when I saw that she had developed stretch marks on her sides that I just really lost it. All I could think was, if I had only paid more attention when she was younger, maybe I could have stopped this. Potatofree, your thinking is right on track with mine right now. I mentioned the shape that my mother is in, and there is also diabetes on her father's side. Even though her blood tests are fine right now, I feel like she's a time bomb. At this rate she'll be lucky to make it to her teenage years before something happens. EVERYONE has to be on board with this, because I can't be with her 24/7. My parents are with me on it, but her father's side of the family is very bad about spoiling her and letting her have whatever she wants (whenever she comes home from eating dinner over there, I hear all about it.) I know they're just trying to be good to her, but the opposite is happening. Meira, thanks for posting, your story and advice are VERY valuable. My best friend has PCOS and wasn't diagnosed until her mid-twenties. Boy, what a difference it would have made if only she had known sooner. The possibility hadn't occurred to me, being as my daughter is only six, but it sounds as if the symptoms can begin to manifest very early. This journey is a hard one, but I shall leave no stone unturned in educating myself and getting answers. I have also decided that every day we are going to spend 30 minutes with some form of exercise, together, be it going for a walk, doing an aerobic tape, dancing around the room, or whatever, on top of whatever normal kid activity she has done for the day. As long as she is having fun doing it with me and it's not like I'm MAKING her do it, then it can only be a good thing. Good for mom, too. I can't thank everyone enough for being so supportive.

[tom sawyer]

Hilary, your post about your husband made me laugh. It is EXACTLY how I eat. I actually lost weight and still ate like a horse by doing lc, but I know that if I can control portions I can expand the variety of foods I can partake in.

My new wife is helping me with this, pretty much doing exactly what you are. It is a great help, and I appreciate her support.

As for kids with weight problems, my wife's kids (5 and 7) are on the chunky side and the little one wants to eat often, so we are working on their eating habits and diet. She was a full-time teacher and single mom, so that meant a lot of fast food. Which is something we rarely do now, so I hope that alone will make a big impact. And with both of us eating low carb, I figure the presence of more of this type of healthy stuff will also help. We do still fix them some carby stuff though, don't know that a kid needs to avoid carbs to the degree that adults do.

The one other thing about kids, I used to think diet soda was bad for them. Now I think it is better than regular soda.

[bluesfan88]

i hope your excersiing every day has been a success! i think you are doing the right thing now with all the diseases you know that your family has . you are being a great mom :)