New Here

[frog33]

I'm new here and I'm not really sure where to start posting....hopefully this 'room' is the right place.

I'm about to turn 34 years old. I'm 5'2" and I weight over 200 pounds...I'm not sure exactly what I weigh now because I am honestly afraid to get on the scale.

Until recently, I have only bought new clothes for myself out of necessity. I've used the excuse that my money needs to be spent on my children (I'm a mom of 4) or that I was going to lose weight so I would buy the clothes when I lost weight. A few weeks ago, I finally bought myself some new outfits though, which was a big deal. I had to get undressed in front of those awful mirrors...but I did it and I was thrilled with the clothes that I found.

Today I went shopping with my 7 year old daughter. I dressed up in my favorite new outfit and felt great.....until I caught my reflection in one of the big glass shop windows. I looked like a frumpy,fat,slob...these beautiful new clothes didn't hang right on me :thdown: . I look terrible. I am huge.

I feel so depressed and out of control. Food really has taken over my life ... I find that I eat most of the time. I tend to be an emotional eater and I recently had another baby. It's been a long, bitter-cold winter and I've been stuck indoors for most of it...I'm just ripping my hair out waiting for spring to get here.....and I feel depressed. This is just really adding to my eating issue. I feel that I eat compulsively and that when I start eating...I just can't stop.

I'm desperate to get some measure of control back into my life and yet at the same time, I feel hopeless to make the change. My belly is so big though that I still look like I'm 9 months pregnant...I just HATE it!

I'm nursing and so I know that I can't go back on a strict Atkins diet. I had some success with Atkins right before I got pregnant. I had lost 16 pounds.


Can anyone commiserate, relate or help? I just feel so lousy.

kris

[snmn&stars]

Hi there,

I can totally relate to what your saying. We are somewhat alike from what you wrote. I'm 27, 5'2", 198lbs. I was 206 when I re-started Atkins and about a year ago, I was 225. I don't buy clothes for myself, because I don't want to spend the money on them. Plus, I really do not care for plus size clothing. I think most of it extremely ugly. I spend what little money I have on my daughter, who is turning 6 tomorrow. I have been doing Atkins on and off now for 2 years and I've stuck with it this time for 3 weeks, but this week has been really hard, and I've gained some back. I was 195, and now i'm 198. Anyhow, I know what you mean about mirrors. When I'm at home and I get dressed, I look alright, but when I go out in the public and catch a glimpse of myself, I think geez, what the heck were you thinking. I wear mostly oversized clothing because I don't want any part of my weight to show, which in turn makes me look bigger.

I don't know how to get past the food taking over my life issue. It's a big part of my life, however, I'm not consumed with it. My addiction is cigs. I want to quit and I have in the past. Back in Feb. I quit for 14 days and than had an emotional run-in with an ex and I've been puffin' away since. Cigs. control my life. Food plays a big role as well and I'm tired of the game. I hate that we have to struggle sooo hard to accomplish this goal of losing. I have a friend who complains because he can't gain weight and he's to thin. I hate it and it's frusterating. I only wish I could complain like that. I hate the fact that I can't control myself sometimes and that I can't shut that little voice in my head up that says it's not going to hurt anything.
I could go on and on, but that would be a bunch of babble. If you want to talk, I would be happy to chat with you here. I haven't really found a group of people to talk to about all this yet and I'm looking to find some chat friends that are struggling like me.
Hope you have a great day! Keep your head up!!

[KristyC]

Hang in there! I can really relate to many of the things you posted about. Take things day by day and don't hesitate to get help from your doctor if you need it!