Maintaining Skinny

[Anleigh]

Hey, do any of you Maintainers who are considered underweight or "skinny" take a lot of abuse from others? I've been maintaining for about three months now and hear I'm way too thin all the time. Someone had me to the point of tears over it this weekend. Everyone says I need to gain weight. I'm barely 5'2", very small boned, wear a Size 1-2. I know that is small but why will people NOT leave me alone about it. I try to explain I have no desire to lose another ounce, so what do I get - jokes and snide comments about "Maintaining". This mostly comes from people I know and love very much. Many of whom have never had a weight problem in their lives. Sometimes it makes me want to just see how fat I can get. :nono:

[Kathy54]

Well I think that most people would question your weight at your height, however that does'nt give them the right to be rude to you! I'm only an inch taller and I also am small boned as they say, and my family would be having a fit if I was anywhere below about 125 - 130.
What does your dr. think about your weight? If you have;nt been since losing perhaps you should it might settle it for you. He could say you are fine for your build, or he may bring some things to your attention, that maybe your family sees, but you don't, which is very common. It might make life easier for you.

Good Luck, Cheers Kathy

[Anleigh]

Thanks, Kathy. Yes, I have been to the doctor. She said I could stand to gain to about 110 lbs. and it wouldn't hurt me. She subscribes to the old saying, 100 lbs - 1st 5', and 5 lbs./inch over that. Oh well, guess I might as well get used to it.

[Kathy54]

Good, that sounds like it would be fine for you.
But for me, LOL, I'd be 115 at that rate, nope I like a bit of shape /curve to my body, LOL No doubt I'd end up with two sticks for legs, a flat butt and still have a little tummy blip!

Cheers Kathy

[trisharau]

I am 162 cms or about 5 foot 3 and a half inches. I weigh 48.5 when I am not bloated (which I currently am!). That works out to just under 107 pounds. I reckon I look slim in clothes, but without any I still have a tummy. :(

Most people I know don't say anything. A few have said I could put on a few more kilos (but they are all overweight themselves!), others say "Don't lose anymore!" My best reaction recently was bumping into a friend at the pool. I was wearing a fitted sleeveless top and short shorts. She said I looked fabulous!

I like being at the lower end of my weight range for my height and build (I am border line small to medium build). I think it is what we feel best at that counts.

[rose7]

Hi Anleigh, :p

I can empathize with what you are going through. I get comments all the time on how skinny I look, usually from the ones I love too. They think I starve myself to death when I’m eating around 1700 calories a day, so it can be very frustrating for me. I know that it is because they care. My weight’s dropped to 102 at one point, extremely low for my height (5’6”). I tried gaining weight by eating 100g carbs a day but some foods gave me incredible cravings and sugar rush I couldn’t deal with. Now my weight’s stabilized around 105. It is still very low for my height and I’d like some more muscles on me, but I am no longer trying to gain weight. Like trisharau said, I think it is what we feel best at that count. As long as I’m healthy, eating well and making effort to add healthy carbs :) , I feel that I’m doing ok. I’ve added just about everything on the maintenance food list except for rice and potatoes, and that’s just because I don’t like them.

Just try adding healthy carbs back to your life and see where your weight stabilizes. Now, even if I have a ‘carb blow-out day’ with donuts and cookies, my weight still remains where it’s at, so I’ve come to believe that my body feels comfortable at this weight, low or not. Hope your situation gets better :) .

:rheart: Rose

[Anleigh]

Rose, you must look almost anorexic. Do you have any fat on you at all? I thought I was skinny at 95 lbs. and 5'2". Its good to hear you can eat extra carbs on occasion and not gain weight. I'm afraid to try it - I know if I had a donut I probably wouldn't stop at one. I would want two and then two tomorrow, etc. Thanks everyone for your replies.

[Kathy54]

Rose and Anliegh why not start journals? They are a great tool to stay connected here.
Cheers kathy

[mem2]

Hi Anleigh and everyone,
I understand what you mean. I am the lightest person in our TOPS chapter and even though I work hard to maintain my weight between 105 and 115 (goal of 112) most everyone there is telling me I am too thin. I really feel good at about 107 and that was my previous goal, but I increased it 5 pounds to keep from having to be so frustrated in not keeping it at or under 110.

It seems most people in my life, including my family have a weight problem. One sister went on Atkins and reached her goal of 150. I am the lightest of all my sisters and brothers and they think the wind will blow me away.

Good luck in handling the pressure and do what feels best to you.

[trisharau]

I have noticed in my daily observations of my local community (we are fatter and more lazy than the State average!) that the larger ladies consider the slim ladies as being skinny or anorexic. In reality their perceptions are rather distorted.

I myself noticed that the women I saw as super, super slim when I was at my maximum weight, don't look so slim now that I am at my present weight. They now look a normal healthy weight.

[Frederick]

Hi Anleigh,

In my view, if you’re slender-boned, you should look fine at your present weight. Perhaps, this is an area where my views are subjectively skewed. I’m half Chinese, and that part of my ancestry shows in the form of bearing a naturally very lithe frame. For instance, my father (the Chinese parent) is 5’ 10” and weighed only about 120 lbs as a teenager heading into college. It wasn’t until 10 years later when he finally put on about 25 lbs getting him to about 145 – 150. He never looked anorexic! Matter of fact, during his era, that was considered a pretty normal weight when just about everyone was thin. Even 30 years ago, neither of us would have been characterized as being too thin or thought of as anorexic. It’s only now given this sudden huge shift from normal sized people becoming larger that we live with this discolored notion that we’re somehow underweight and malnourished.

I’ve inherited my father’s trait and therefore cursed/blessed with a very lithe frame. Many people around me think I’m too thin, malnourished, or—my personal favorite—using excessive exercise as a form of bulimia. Truth is that I was always meant to be about 150 lbs even at 5’ 10” and you were meant to be 100 lbs at your height. What is wrong with that? I know there are those who suggest models are excessively thin for the “clothes hanger” effect when wearing clothes. Well, if it means looking better in clothing with a mannequin physique, why not?

Enjoy being slender especially knowing that the world’s fashion industry makes clothing ideally suited to you with your physical attributes in mind. Finally, you’ll look better in that sort of clothing than anyone else.

So, being thin isn’t all that bad, right? LOL

A little tongue in cheek,

Frederick

[downscale]

I think trisharau is on to something. Your relatives are comparing you to the "previous you", and they are probably not used to the change yet. Once your new look becomes "normal" to them, they will probably stop the comments.
The other theory is that you played the role of "the fat one" in your family, and they don't like you changing the status quo. Now maybe they have to make you "the skinny one" to keep the family dynamic going. Not a pleasant thought, but if they are making you cry, it sounds like there is some sort of dysfunction going on.
I hope the first theory is the right one.

[Hotchick]

Notice how people think it's OK to say you look anorexic or underweight...I wonder how they would feel if you told them they were too fat and needed to lose weight!!!

[rose7]

Lol, Hotchick. While I try not to take it too personally, cuz I know I look very skinny, it is not nice to hear them especially coming from someone I'm close to. That makes me feel very uncomfortable and it makes me feel even worse when they are watching every single thing that goes into my mouth. If I eat cake, they would say "Aren't you worried you are going to get fat from eating that?" in a very sarcastic tone. Wish they wouldn't do that so I can just eat in peace! :)

[trustycat]

Hotchick-- you're totally right! It's not like u go up to people and say, you look fat. why can't people understand that any weight comment, even u look anorexic, is hurtful?

I feel the same way about people watching me eat sometimes-- esp since i eat so much! I can just imagine them thinking to themselves, "i bet she barfs that up"-- which yuck! I would never do! Or, if even if i eat a huge meal and then pass on cake, i can see a weird look on their face. It's so frustrating, i wish people would just let me be happy :)

[Anleigh]

I was out of town this weekend visiting family and seems like all I could hear was about how skinny I was. They couldn't believe I was eating so much. We had gone to lunch where there was a breakfast bar and a huge salad bar. I pigged out on both (legal stuff only) and all I could get was stares and dropped mouths. :lol:

[rachelratz]

i went through a bad patch with my family. They where upset that I was ( 5'4") and 114lbs amd thought I had an eating disorder. They kept telling me I should be 125 lbs. The bad part was with my husband. Although he eventually accepted it, it bothered him for a long time. It was for him I went on the Atkins diet to begin with! He went on it also and went from 210 lbs to 178bls. The gym helped a lot and kept my curves even after being skinny.

[el123]

I found this thread extremely helpful... I am going through a lot of this same stuff right now. I am finally at my goal weight, don't want to lose another pound (even though my body seems to want to keep going!! lol) Yesterday, a friend out-of-state saw a picture of me and told me that i needed to "eat a cheeseburger with the bun." i'm getting such mixed reactions... most of them great though. now that it's spring and i can go outside in less than my snowboots and jacket, everyone is seeing the change i underwent from december to now. it's so encouraging to have people tell me that i look great. it makes me never want to go off this WOE... it's completely changed my self-esteem and confidence.

But I do need to stop losing weight. I don't want to be too skinny. I am broad-shouldered and I do not have such a small frame... I think anything less than this would look sickly on my frame.

My question is: did all of you guys go through the OWL process? Or when you reached goal did you go right into maintenance? Because I stayed on induction the whole time, and now am afraid to add back too many carbs. Help!

[Itty]

Hi folks

I am not yet skinny, but I did come back from a tour of Europe some time ago at 97lbs, which sits around 18 or 19 on the BMI (just underweight).

Were alot of you quite thin when you were young? I can't imagine being around 105 lbs, even though it is perfectly within my range, and would almost make me "Skinny".

Have you reached "skinny" before? Is being overweight just a short term thing for you, or a constant battle?

I dunno if I want to be skinny again, because I like to have some meat on me :) , but I wondered what you think.

Thanks
M

[rachelratz]

el123

I had to fight to gain weight after the big fall. I went down to 109lbs and would have kept on going down had I not put on the breaks. Ensure plus and an incrase in carbs helped. I looked BAD being that skinny. I am 5'4" with a T shape body. I always had a small waist and slim hips even when I was heavy. All my weight was in my tummy (like a man!) Being skinny started to make me look unattractive. With my wide shoulders, I felt like a linebacker (a skinny one). Being skinny is murder on the face. Nothing is worse then a skinny face. You look a good ten years older and like you have been crawling out in the desert. The gym helped a lot to firm me up (no more loose skin) I have been between 111 lbs and 114 lbs (my heaviest) for over four years now. I must admit it feels good wearing size 4 and 2's. The funny thing is that now I find it hard finding my size. Suddently eveything is size 14 and twelve and plus size Very weird.

[el123]

I am just scared... I have been maintaining for only a little while now. But I just feel like at any moment I could gain weight. I already feel like I have. Tomorrow's my weigh date, so we'll see if the scale is up, or if it's all in my head (which it tends to be... once i thought i had gained weight and i had actually lost 3 pounds).

[Groggy60]

My wife is a naturally (very) small boned thin person, 5'1" at 99 lbs. She needed to get over 100 to get pregnant, so being under 100 probably is too thin for her.

Self image is funny thing when it comes to your weight. I always thought I looked fat in pictures of myself. The first time I saw a picture of myself at my new low weight - I was blown away by how thin I looked. Of course, photos are just the same as everyone else sees you.

[trustycat]

Itty,
i've been overweight since i was born! I also dropped to about 97 lb and no, it was not fun. I'm at 109 lb right now and feel "fat" but am working on gettin used to having this much body mass because "skinny" just is not worth it-- it's just hard because being overweight for most of my life, i just have idolized skinny as a good thing. Changing this mentality and realizing that having some meat/fat is ok (maybe even more attractive) is really hard, but the best thing in the long run.

[kingb123]

Wow- i'm going through the exact same thing.

[JustAGirl]

Bumping this thread for anyone else dealing with this issue.

[sexym2]

I also think that womens thoughts on whats slender and normal is altered when they are heavy.

4 yrs ago, I lost a lot of weight and got to 160lbs, I'm 5'10". I still had a lot of fat on me, so I had planned on going to 150 and seeing if I liked that better. My family would not let it go, my mother called me anorexic, everywhere I turned they were trying to feed me. Most of my family is heavy and I think that alters their thoughts on weights.

Now that I'm back to 170lbs and working on my goal of 150lbs, I don't see the slim women as anorexic any more. I don't frown when I see a slender woman or wish she would eat more. My perception has changed with my weght also.

I would go with what feels good to you. If you like what you see in the mirror, then thats what matters. It hurts when its from family, but be upfront, I'm refered to as bitchy, but when someone starts in I tell then what I think and am quick about it. It tends to stop the harrasment and a normal convo can be carried on.

[TaraTea]

I get told I look too thin all of the time, but people have been telling me this since I was 160 pounds at 5'4". Now, I'm 135 pounds it's even worse. My BMI is healthy. My body fat % is considered .7% too high to be in the fitness range.

My sister in law is the same size as I am and she gets the same reaction. She says that we're just too thin for Nebraska. There are a lot of overweight and obese people here compared to other places.

[sexym2]

we're just too thin for Nebraska
Is that like "Corn fed Iowa girls?" :lol: They can screw their visions of keeping everyone heavy so they feel better about themselves. I'm from Iowa but I stopped eating the damb corn and I'm going to be slender. We feed corn to livestock to fatten them up, why the heck should we eat the stuff?

Loose the weight/stay at your present weight, what ever makes you happy. Tell the nay-sayers to shut there mouths and leave you alone. I've heard the crap myself in the past and it hurts but its not them that wears your weight.

[Demi]

I get told I look too thin all of the time, but people have been telling me this since I was 160 pounds at 5'4". Now, I'm 135 pounds it's even worse. My BMI is healthy. My body fat % is considered .7% too high to be in the fitness range.

My sister in law is the same size as I am and she gets the same reaction. She says that we're just too thin for Nebraska. There are a lot of overweight and obese people here compared to other places.It's not just in Nebraska that this happens. It would appear that our sense of what is 'normal' seems to have become distorted everywhere:


Is Fat the New Normal?

A rise in average body weight may be changing how we see ourselves.

If you're tall enough to stand out in a crowd, you're probably aware of your tallness – maybe even self-conscious about it. But imagine that you're in a room full of basketball players. Suddenly, you don't seem so tall anymore. Your above-average height feels normal.

The same scenario -- but with weight, not height -- may be happening throughout the U.S.

According to the CDC, two-thirds of Americans are overweight or obese. Now that the average body weight tends toward plump rather than svelte, the perception of what's normal may be sliding. And that may have health consequences that are flying under your radar.

The New Normal

The average American is 23 pounds heavier than his or her ideal body weight. If we equate "normal" with average, it's not much of a stretch to say it's normal to be fat.

"For children and for many adults who are overweight, they are starting to perceive themselves as the new normal," says obesity expert Robert F. Kushner, MD, MS. Overweight people may dismiss their weight, he tells WebMD, because they feel "everyone else looks exactly the same." Kushner is a professor at Northwestern University's Feinberg School of Medicine and clinical director of the Northwestern Comprehensive Center on Obesity.

"It's quite clear that people are changing their idea of what an acceptable body size is," says Nicholas Christakis, MD, PhD, of Harvard Medical School. As the average body weight goes up, there's more acceptance of heavier body types. This, in turn, clears the path for even more people to put on weight, says Christakis, who is the co-author of Connected: The Surprising Power of Our Social Networks and How They Change Lives.

Are Americans Really Getting Fatter?

The rate of obesity has climbed dramatically in the past 20 years: A third of adults are obese today, compared to 23% in the late 1980s. But this trend may have reached a plateau. According to a new study in the Journal of the American Medical Association, the obesity rate has not changed significantly in the past few years.

That's no reason to become complacent, Kushner says. "The prevalence of obesity is leveling off, but it's leveling off at flood stage. So we need to turn that around."

Is Weight Gain Contagious?

How did we get to that "flood stage" of obesity? Maybe you should look around you.

"Our work suggests that weight gain spreads in social networks," says Christakis, who has researched the spread of obesity.

His findings, published in The New England Journal of Medicine in 2009, show that your odds of becoming obese rise by 57% if you have a friend who becomes obese and by 40% if your sibling becomes obese."We're social animals," Christakis says. "We're influenced by the choices and actions and appearance and behaviors of those around us."

In short, our social contacts -- the people in our lives -- have a big influence on what we eat, how much we exercise, and how we judge our own appearance. This may help explain why obesity rates are not the same throughout the country. In fact, there are what might be called obesity hotspots.

Obesity Hotspots

Jana Gordon Bunsic, DO, has seen evidence of this first-hand in her practice. She's a board-certified family physician and clinical nutritionist in Morristown, Tenn. – a town in a state with one of America's highest obesity rates.

"Upon moving my family and my medical practice to east Tennessee, I was immediately surprised by the prevalence of obesity in the area," says Bunsic, who used to live in south Florida. She cites a culture that's fond of "biscuits and gravy," as well as too little exercise. "The society is quite rural, and few people walk or ride bikes from place to place."

With obesity being so common, Bunsic finds her patients have a skewed idea of what's normal. "A 16-year-old patient came in with his mother the other day," she recalls. "By following my recommendation, he had lost 45 pounds… His mother was very concerned he was starting to become too thin" even though he was still overweight by medical standards.

Changing Perceptions

Skewed perceptions are not confined to Tennessee.

"It's taking more and more weight as time goes by for people to judge themselves heavy," Christakis says. In a study using government data, he found that obese people generally knew they were obese 20 years ago. That's not necessarily the case anymore. In 2007, a National Consumers League survey showed that although 34% of adult survey participants were obese, only 12% said they had ever been told that by a health care professional.

Contributing to these changing perceptions is a fashion trend known as vanity sizing. Manufacturers have made clothing sizes more forgiving over the years. "This is making women feel good about themselves," Kushner says, "but the bad thing is it's supporting the weight increase in the population."

Pros and Cons of a New Normal

Kushner sees two positives in society's changing views of weight. One is that overweight people "don't tag so much of their self-esteem to weight," Kushner says. The other is that women of a healthy weight are less likely to see themselves as fat. With so much more of the population being truly overweight, those in the healthy category may feel slim by comparison.

But Kushner cautions that there is a downside, particularly for the obese. If people don't recognize that they have a problem, they'll be less motivated to lose weight, he says. And although the social norms may be changing, the health risks of obesity are not.

Health Risks of Obesity

"It's clear that being overweight is bad for your health," Christakis says. This does not mean that everyone who is overweight will develop health problems, but the risks are well documented. Excess weight has been linked to diabetes, arthritis, heart disease, and some forms of cancer. And last year, a study found that weighing a third more than your ideal weight could take three years off your life.

"Many [patients] intuitively know their weight is a big part of their diabetes, hypertension, lower extremity swelling, and feeling poorly," Bunsic says, "but they have never had a doctor tell them that their weight was a root cause." To turn the situation around, she says doctors should counsel patients about the dangers of being overweight and help them develop accurate perceptions of what is normal.

Christakis agrees, but he says health professionals must handle the issue of weight delicately. "People could tell their patients, ‘When you make an effort to lose weight, it doesn't just benefit you.'" The bottom line: Healthy habits tend to spread among social contacts. So when you make a positive change in your life, it may also affect the people you care about.http://www.webmd.com/diet/features/is-fat-the-new-normal

[sexym2]

Damg Demi, thats good! We have changes our thinking of whats a normal weight.

[TaraTea]

I gave up the corn as well. It doesn't matter if this is the Cornhusker state, I'll have green veggies, please.

Demi, thanks for sharing the article. very informative.

science says, i'm healthy. i'm going to ignore everyone who is so "worried" about my weight. if the situation was reversed and i was telling them to lose weight, it would be a completely different situation.

[sexym2]

I gave up the corn as well. It doesn't matter if this is the Cornhusker state, I'll have green veggies, please.

Demi, thanks for sharing the article. very informative.

science says, i'm healthy. i'm going to ignore everyone who is so "worried" about my weight. if the situation was reversed and i was telling them to lose weight, it would be a completely different situation.
Ooh, they would be mad! No one wants to be told to loose weight :lol:

[sexym2]

We have corn and beef here, I will stick with the beef. We have a nice white heafer fattening up now, the idea is to eat her come spring. BFs father wants to keep her and pick a different calf (sigh) they better get it figured out, I'm running low on steaks!

Last year I made BF hold back the butchar calf, he wanst happy, had to pick a different one. She was born on Christmas, the day I met BF, he showed me pics of the new calf on our fist date. I named her christmas calf, and she is now 1 yr and 9 months old and she's going to give me future babies :) Oh, I feed her corn!

[TaraTea]

sometimes, i feel a bit guilty about all the chickens i have probably eaten. i try to buy the kind that is least harmful.

i could never eat something i have named. future baby moo moos sounds great though.

[sexym2]

We don't name the butchar calves, and trust me, they don't have a bad life. They run with their mamas till they are 6 months old, out on 85 acres of pasture, and in the hay field on and off when need be. Weaning is moving all the calves at once to a small lot for 2 weeks. Thats to get them past the "I want Mommy stage," we can keep an eye on them and the fence is taller in the lot. After their 2 weeks off Momma, they are turned out with the bulls in a small pasture, they also have creap feed (corn mixture) and get hay. Once were out of pasture for the winter, we move the calves back into their pen and they stay there till auction time. The butchar calf stays put with any heifers that we hold back, the bulls of course have their own pen by that time. Don't want any oopsies, thats how Chrismas Calf came about :lol:

We only name certain cows, not may though. There were a few that were 4-H calves (pets) and Christmas Calf and the orphan calf is named Orphy :lol: I would emagine we'll keep the white heifer and not eat her this year and the orphan calf will be the butchar calf. The white heifer's Momma is getting older and her teets are getting to big, its hard for the calves to latch on at first. She will stay till she has to may problems, but we don't mind helping her out, she's a really good Momma and gentle, with us :)

We feed cattle corn to fatten them up and help milk production, I don't understand the milk production but thats what they claim. Why would we need to eat corn when it just fattens us up? I don't know about you, but I'm not a butchar calf or Thanksgiving turkey!

I asked BF last night about my weight and he said that he's pleased I'm trying so hard to loose weight. He also said i don't look bad at all with a little rib showing and my hips are now uncovered (mostly).

I think we get distorted views of whats healthy and what small/large is. The bigger I got, the better larger people looked and the skinnier, skinny people looked. Now that I've lost a lot of weight, skinny people don't look quite so anorexic and I don't have jelousy issues with the skinny girls :)