Ladies - buying clothes in Australia

[katticus]

Went into Cue in Sydney the other day and asked if they had anything in a size 16-18... my goodness it was as though I'd asked her if they could sell me a swastika t-shirt or something. She truly looked repulsed. There are a few adjectives I can think of...

Anyway she informed me that no, the largest size they stock is size 14. I am sick to death of being treated as less because I am not a size 10. %$#!! ridiculous. Not happy jan.

Anyways that is my vent... anyone else had similar (or better) experiences?

BTW Jacqui E stores stock up to size 18 and their clothes are lovely, went into Jacqui E the other day and a salesperson was helping me who was about a size 18, it was so nice to be served by someone who wasn't a stick :)

Katt

[Keachick]

I've had that same problem. Most of the stores go up to size 14 and call it large! But if you go to their outlet stores - they have screeds of 10's and 8's on the racks - obviously not many people buy them.
I discovered Jacqui E when I lived in Wollongong, I'm so glad that they have moved over here - they can always be counted on to have something nice that fits and looks good!

[katticus]

Size 14 is the average in Aust, but quite often the only clothese for 16's & 18's and above are in 'granny shops' and I wouldn't be caught dead in some of it!!!

I used to know a girl who worked for Country Road, and at her training they said to her if a really large person comes in and can't fit into, say, a size 14, don't encourage them by showing them size 16's and 18's, as quote, "we don't want fat people wearing our clothes". This was just one store in a v. snobby part of Sydney and I'm sure it's not Country Road's policy (otherwise they would only go to a size 14), but gee it pee'd me off, and I didn't even have a weight problem then :) I wonder how many other companies have this as an unwritten policy, hence size 14 being considered "extra large" ???

I might get sued for repeating this, but it happened, so what can I say???

Katt

[KiwiSarah]

That's an awful story, but I've heard of similar behaviour in shops here.

A friend of mine was just killing time once and wandered into a fashionable little shop in a mall in Auckland (I can't remember what shop it was). Almost as soon as she was in the door the (stick thin) salesgirl came over and told her 'We don't stock anything in your size, why don't you try Farmers' and steered her out the door.

They must figure its bad for business to have a fat person seen in the store :mad:

I tend to buy most of my clothes through mail order. Ezibuy have a special catalog for sizes 16+ that actually has nice clothes for most ages, including togs. Saves me the whole trying on clothes ordeal as well.

Sarah

[katticus]

Makes me want to recite to these stick-insects the bumper sticker that says, "I might be fat, but you're an asshole and I can diet" :)

Katt

[jordy05]

I get my clothes from Katies , I used to be in the 16-26 range,,,,but can now shop on the other side of the store to the smaller 18`s...... seems we are segregated there too,,,lol...........
Last summer i spent a fortune on clothes and this summer being as i have lost just off 20 kilo,,, I found i have a a skirt and 2 shirts that fit me in my wardrobe! (they were bought that time long ago when I once said `` I really like it and will be in it by xmas,,,,lucky i kept them,,,even though they are outdated,,better than walking round naked,,lol) But i do have a very happy larger friend who has just filled her wardrobe with my clothes................

I have a vent,,,,,, at katies for instance,,,, an 18 on the small side of the store has a t-shirt priced at $16.95................ an 18 in the 16-26 side of the store (18`s on that side are a bit more generous than the smaller side 18`s), same t-shirt is $39.95........... I know it might be a bit more material but double the price? Now wonder some larger people have limited clothes,,, they are far too expensive!!
VENTED
Rachael......

[katticus]

woah, that is more than double!! I think it's cause there's so little available for 18+ sizes so they can charge more. Annoying.

Good on you for losing 20kg, woo hoo!!! I hope your larger friend is low-carbing too!!!

I had some friends on a scrapbooking group ask me today about Atkins, I was happy to e-mail them at length on the whole Atkins story, basically on my 'never eat low fat again' rant... it started cause someone said how nice the new Macca's low-fat yoghurt is, and someone else said, 'READ THE NUTRITIONAL PANEL!!! IT'S 50% SUGAR!!!" The whole low-fat thing this country is on just bugs me no end!!!

Kate

[jordy05]

yes katticus,,,, my friends now know not to get me started at a party,,lol,,, they call me ``THE CARB NATZI``,,,lol,,,, and my larger friend WAS on the atkins diet but felt she was eating far too much fat and said there was nothing to eat,,, she did lose 6 kilo in the first week!!!! (I know like why did she quit?) well the next week she lost nothing and basically said she could not live with out bread,,,so she went to a low fat diet and said there was nothing to eat on that either,,,said she is not determined to starve and kinda in a sort of way said `` weight is all about vanity and thats it`` we are good friends and can be honest with eachother,,,,but its not all vanity ,,,for me its health (being insullin resistance).............. if you ask me,,,, she`s not ready to put in the hard yards,,,, it has not clicked in her head yet,,,, it will in time,,I hope!

At parties or dinner at a friends house someone might offer me a carb treat,,,, and I say `` CARBS!! Get them away ...what are you doing trying to kill me``,,,, my friends groan and laugh,,, ``HERE SHE GOES AGAIN``

LOL
bye
Rachael,,,,,off to post in my journal,,,, 1.1 kilo loss this week.............. yipee!!!!!!

[katticus]

LOL, IKWYM. Shame about your friend... sounds like there could be something deeper going on with her other than just hunger. I can relate cause this was my yo-yo for a loooong time, till I finally became happy with the way I looked at my 25kg overweight state... it wasn't until I was happy with myself and stopped the self-loathing that I could actually lose weight, I am motivated to lose cause I really really really want to be a size 10, but I don't hate myself anymore for NOT being a size 10. It's ironic that self-acceptance has enabled me to change myself, but that shift has made all the difference :)

Katt

[jordy05]

hi Katticus

Well for some of us it does take acceptance of ones self to be able to then change the formed habits we have made over the years,,,,for me it was the constant taunting of my cousin (everytime I saw him,,,you know the `fat` jokes and snide remarks,,,,,) so i hid behind my weight and used humor to protect myself.... Finally it took for me to meet a great friend who on one of our `talks about everything` (especially husbands and cheating,,lol) was shocked when I replied that none of my friends are concerned about me stealing their husbands away from them as I am `fat` (it was a statement that even though I am happily married for 9 years,,,i just felt that I was no threat to them) she was amazed,,,,she said `` I have never seen you as fat,,,, only as a great person and fun to be with,,,,, I would be more concerned with you stealing my husband as you have a great personality and my husband and you have the same humor (we are like best friends her husband and I)...... once I had heard that,,,, something happened to me and to this day she is a rock at my side,,,, helping me lose weight and encouraging me,,,,,, just by being my friend!

Rachael xoxo

As for my cousin,,,,,, one day i will go visit him,,,, the new me,,,and I will tell him what he made me feel like all those years.............. that day is approaching faster than I ever imagined!

[sambalam]

rachel, what a gem of a friend. you hang onto her!!

[katticus]

Oh yeah, everyone needs a buddy like that. I'm lookin' forward with you to the day you face your cousin, surely he can't really believe that his 'humour' was harmless??? Besides, from your picture you're a very attractive lady, and in the words of Seinfeld, "I say this with an unblemished record of heterosexuality" :lol:

I told my son off in no uncertain terms the other day, he is in kindy, and he said to me, 'mum, Kiara (a girl in his class who is really overweight) is really fat, and her mum's really fat too' and I felt so sad for them, I said, "honey, God makes people in all different shapes and sizes, and God only makes beautiful things... so Kiara and her mum are beautiful and I want you to tell her that". We don't really talk about fat/thin issues in our house, but they pick up on it at school & preschool unfortunately.

Katt

[katticus]

BTW Rachel where in Aust do you live?

Katt (Western Sydney girl)

[jordy05]

thanks sambalam,,,,and to answer your question katticus I am close to Goulburn NSW.....so not too far from you!

We also have had issues at school,,,the other day my daughter was called `fat` and pushed over and punched in the stomach!!! My 6 year old is a little tubby (fear she might have a similar problem like me,,,, IR) We do not make a fuss about diets in this house and my daughter thinks I am just getting `healthy` to have another baby...... my daughter drinks soy milks,,, skim milks,,, i limit her carbs a little (as in the fried junk and chips) but as kids I can not limit her too much or make her stand out that she is different...... She is happy and thats all that matters..... I told her what you told your child,,,,plus I said ``its the inside that matters,,,, people might be pretty on the outside but if they are nasty or rude or not caring then thats ugly```` when they say horrible names to you,,,you smile to yourself inside your head and say they are just jealous that i am so beautiful and walk away``

Rachael

[sambalam]

god kids are cruel, then so are adults. isn't it also sad that if they eat 'different' then they are targets for bullying as well, when it is a lifestyle choice, which i know isn't a concept kids can understand, but still.
rachael, be aware that skim milks is high in milk sugar (lactose). it's not the best option for your daughter for a couple of reasons. a) too much sugar obviously b) kids need healthy fats to grow c) she will be more prone to mucus on the lungs, ear/throat/chest infections with all that lactose. i was a child carer for several years and can verify kids who have lf milk are sick more often than those who don't (personally i think cow's milk is evil but i am lactose intolerant!!) i don't mean to tell you what to do, i hope you don't mind.

[jordy05]

I know you are not telling me what to do and I am grateful for the advise,,,we all need to be better informed,,,,,,,, she wont drink regualr full cream milk now,,,,, from when she was little and started on cows milk and not breast milk,,,well,,,the doctors told me that she was a little `tubby` and so i was best to introduce a low fat milk like `skim` now (they said its as high in calcium for her) So guess what? I took their advice and now thats all she will drink ( remember 6 years ago it was all about the fat!)

I dont know what I can do for her,,,,, normal menu for her is breakfast is weetbix with skim milk and glass of juice,,,,,, lunch is sandwich or a salad box i make,,, a yoghurt and maybe either an apple or cheese cut up (they have 2 meals at school remember) and a popper drink and dinner is what i eat,,,,,,, rarely do i make her potatos...... usually she has pasta and meat or meat and vegies (you know a good meal),,,glass of skim milk

Treats,,,,, she has ice cream once a week,,,, usually sugar free jelly,,,, on wednesdays she has a wagon wheel (you know the chocolate bar) after her swimming lessons,,,,,, and maybe take away like mcdonalds once maybe every couple of weeks or so...........
We do not have chocolate in the house,,,or chips or lollies,,,,,, and she is not really into those anyway.....

she is 6 and a half and weighs 33 kilo last check.......

BTW- she does swimming, indoor soccer and karate every week,,,,,,,, I keep her active.....

I dont know,,am i missing something and doing something wrong??? I dont make a fuss to her about anything with her weight,,,and I never say ``if you eat that you will get fat``

I think her height is 125 cm,,but dont quote me on that! but it would be very close to that height.

Sorry to rattle on,,,, but i needed to vent and seek advice as to what to do or not to do and you seem a great person to ask...

Rachael

[jordy05]

and she is never sick either....... usual a cold in winter and change of season but it is very rare that she is sick.....

[sambalam]

personally rachael, i think she eats fine. an occasional sweet or take away isn't going to make much difference and besides, she's growing and will likely change shape a fair bit before she hits her height. she's active and healthy, that's the main thing. her BMI based on the facts you provided says she's in the healthy range. she isn't eating loads of sugar. you could try getting her onto wholemeal pasta and other low GI foods but i wouldn't worry too much at this stage.

[jordy05]

yeah,,,, we just got back from soccer,,,and i saw her running round and thought to myself,,,,``ok,, so she is solid looking,,,big deal!` but poor thing has a build like me and her dad! lol
I guess i dont want her to go through what i went through at school but then,,,,,, if she does,,,,well i am there for her anyway,,,,, and she is a great kid,,,,little moody,,, really funny but very loving

I just got to teach her to have very high self esteem.............. the rest should just fall into place

thanks sambalam.... I feel better now and am not gonna stress over it any more,,,,, just accept her for her,,,, like she accepts me for me...... i guess thats the key!

Rachael (over protective parent,,,,,sounding more like a vain fruit cake,,LOL)

[sambalam]

no that's a great attitude, and one that she will love you for more when she is older. if she stays 'solid' well you can always start cutting back the carbs if she wants to, as you have been setting a healthy eating example for her already.

[jaddles]

I know what you guys mean with the clothes shopping - all those nice (expensive) little botiques just dont cater for us non-annorexics. I dont even go into them - just makes me feel like a freak! Jacqui E, Brown Sugar, and Ojay are my favorite shops - they all go to 16 which is what I need.

Jordy - Dont worry about your little girl - as long as she's happy and healthy! I wouldn't push the issue unless she tells you she's unhappy.

[historical]

Re: Clothes shopping...

You can get your revenge later when you reach your goal. Walk into these shops, try on heaps of clothes and take up the shop assistant's time for ages.. Then say their styles "aren't really you" and walk out :-)

They say that revenge is best served cold...

[sambalam]

BTW rachael, your daughter being called fat, pushed over and punched at school is disgraceful and i hope some action was taken against the kid who did it. i was badly bullied at school, i feel for any child who gets harrassed.

[jordy05]

yes action is being taken,,,, well..... I ended up taking the action to her mum and hoped she would be nice about it all,,, the little girls mum was nice and we are together making sure it does not happen again... nice to know some parents out there care! We have actually become friends and so have our kids,,,,go figure! LOL
Rachael

The school is now using our idea of how we coped with the situation and promoting other parents to be more involved with the bullies parents (if they so both agree) and its been very interesting to say the least..

[katticus]

Bullying is terrible... I was teased/bullied in high school and it was awful, my education suffered as a result (truancy) and I was truly at a very, very low point. I can understand why kids who are constantly teased just snap (Martin Bryant is a prime example).

I am very grateful that my son's school has a very active no-bullying policy, there is one boy in year 3 who was giving my son a hard time for a while and the teachers now make him stay in the office at lunch & recess - he has been a constant bully (to other kids as well as my own) and he has no social skills. However, I do feel sorry for any 8 year old who feels the need to punch up 5 year olds, I dread to think what his home life is like :(

Good on you for taking such great action, often kids who display unacceptable behaviour at school are only doing so because they think their parents can't find out. I hope she has been appropriately chastised by her mum.

I have a friend who home schools her kids (they are the WORST candidates for homeschooling, but there's nothing I can do about it!) but when her son is with other kids they tease him mercilessly, I think he needs a school environment to 'toughen him up' a bit, in that he has no idea how to socialise with kids who are not homeschooled. There is socialising when the homeschool groups get together, but it is always under the supervision of the parent, so it's not quite the same as a schoolyard environment. Her oldest son is INCAPABLE of taking turns with other kids, and can't understand how in a large group he sometimes misses out on things (I am a kids leader at church so I get to see this every week). I have no gripe with homeschooling per se, but this boy really IS lacking in many of the skills required to cope in a large group. Sigh. There's nothing I can do about it though, she is so overprotective she refuses to let him near a public school!

Anyway that is my gripe!

But good on you for going to the mum... stop the little monster in her tracks!

Katt

[sambalam]

katt, i too was severely bullied as a child and it has a very long lasting impact on you. i'm still aware of it now, 20 years on.
i used to work in childcare, and i sincerely have to tell you that while i will never put my (future) kids in care full time, some kind of social interaction with other kids is very healthy. full time isn't ideal although i understand sometimes necessary. but some interaction is needed to make sure kids now how to handle life and the different situations. plus the example parents lead with (such as yours rachael good for you!!)

[jordy05]

Thanks Guys for your input,,,, I was always the `bigger` girl at school but never got bullied (I had tough friends,,LOL) I hid behind my humor as a way of protecting myself and it sure worked for me! Even to this day,,,lol

Cheers Guys
Rachael