Scale Humor

[94513]

The stupid scale wont go down when I hold in my stomach -
I guess it may not be so stupid!

[DerBlumers]

that depends on what kind of scale you step on....I used to have one that if I took all my clothes off, stepped on with one foot....on the lower right hand corner only...it showed me five pounds slimmer!! Ahhh...the good old days..... :D

[hey_Neener]

Have you tried lifting your breasts?

[sknymonkey]

I used to have this wonderful scale, not made for weighing humans, but it was very accurate. BUT-if you stood on the edges, it would clock you in about 10 lbs lighter. It was just so nice seeing a small # while standing on the scale, I didn't care if it wasn't true!

[shortstuff]

If I rock forward on tiptoe clear unto little spaces on either side of the dial I can lose 5 pounds instantly. Good for the ego until I get cramps in my toes!!

shortstuff

[catspaw]

Try putting it on the carpet instead of a hard floor - instant weight loss!

[CherylAust]

I bought a new scale thinking the old one may be busted. I tried them both, exactly the same weight. Today when I got on the new one it's showing about 3 kilos heavier than the old one, I don't think I've added 3 kilos overnight :cry:

[NachoFoot]

I busted a scale the other day.

Actually it was lying to me for some time saying that I was 10 pounds lighter than what I really weighed :cry:

Oh well, it now says I weight 260, hah :roll:

[black57]

At my Curves there is a pic of a woman weighing herself by lying on her back with her feet in the air and the scale is on her feet. That just might work.

[simplydawn]

http://www.renc.igs.net/~jmortimer/images/cartoon_-_children_on_scale.gif

http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/dro0163l.jpg

[Demi]

Can't remember where I first saw this, but copied it because it made me smile :)


Rules for Weighing

1. Weigh yourself with clothes on after dinner, as well as in the morning without clothes before breakfast, because it's nice to see how much weight you've lost overnight.

2. Shower first to rid yourself of that heavy ‘dirt’. Dry body and hair vigorously to avoid unnecessary water weight. Be sure to clean water and wax out of ears.

3. When weighing, remove everything, including glasses. In this case, blurred vision is an asset. Don't forget the earrings, and any other pieces of jewellery, these things can weigh a ton.

4. Use cheap scales only, never the medical kind, because they are always five pounds off ... to your advantage.

5. Stand with arms raised, making pressure on the scale lighter.

6. Exhale with all your might BEFORE stepping onto the scale (air has to weigh something, right?).

7. Start out with just one foot on the scale, then holding onto the towel rack in front of you, slowly edge your other foot on and slowly let off of the rack. Admittedly, this takes time, but it's worth it. You will weigh at least two pounds less than if you'd stepped on normally.

8. The proper small-animal sacrifice beforehand doesn't hurt either ... just as long as you can eat it afterwards.

[orchidday]

I love those! You have to find humor in all of this :). Thanks for sharing that.

Orchid