Lost my friend to WLS--passed away 7/31/03

[alighterme]

Sorry to report the loss of my friend on Thursday, 7/31/03 ~ 12:03PM. She had weight loss surgery on 1/14/03. Her doctor does the open surgery and felt that there was NO NEED to do a 'leak test'. Well 2 days after being released from the hospital, she went back by ambulance and laid in ICU with a raging infection from the leak for 2 days and nights while this doctor insisted it COULDN'T be a leak. Her husband had her transferred to a larger hospital about 50 miles away where he was told she wouldn't have lasted another hour. The nurse phoned her doctor from the new hospital requesting help repairing the leaks as they were unfamiliar with this surgery. He screamed at the nurse for calling him and she finally hung up on him. They called another doctor in their area for help and found him in his car. He promptly turned around and came to the hospital to lend any help he could. She had several surgeries to repair the leaks and she remained open for several weeks to scrape the infection out of her. Her kidneys began failing and she was put on dialysis. Her heart stopped 3 times. Long story short....she suffered for 6 1/2 months before passing away on Thursday. She leaves behind a husband and 2 children. She was my friend and my heart is broken.

[Atriana]

I am so sorry that you have lost your friend.

[CincyBev]

I am sorry you lost your friend..

Such a sad thing that people are so desperate to lose weight that they take this chance and can lose their lives. Her doctor was an absolute jerk... I hope your friend's family goes after him and lets everyone know what happened and his lack of concern.. Perhaps he shouldn't be a doctor any more!

I feel so sorry for her family.. :-(

[kish]

I send my condolence.

[MisterE]

I feel for your loss. There are too few friends in this world for us to lose even one.

[reowdy]

I am so sorry to hear this... my heart goes out to you, and her family....

It makes my blood boil when I read something like this..... from personal experience I know what it is like to have arrogant, incompetant doctors doing this.... we are pretty desperate when we choose to take this route, and want to believe it will work... I know I didn't want to listen to any negative advice at the time... and believed the smooth talking doctor, who really only wanted my money... arrrrggggghhhhhhhhh......

I hope you can persuade her family to sue him, I wish I had, but at the time I just wanted it over, and to forget it...

Hugz
Pam.

[bgmama]

I can't express how sorry I am for your loss. I feel pain for her husband and kids. How desprate he must feel. Weight loss is such a crazy thing that we would go under a knife to get skinny. How desprate she must have felt. I was days away from having the same surgery and I backed out and started atkins. Stories like yours make me glad that I did. I will pray for her family. Could you please tell me her kids ages and names.

[alighterme]

bgmama,
Thank you for your kind words and prayers. Her daughter, Angie is in her 20's and recently sold her home and she and her husband moved back home to help care for her brother, Cody, who is only 12. Her family is exhausted and completely drained.

I also considered the surgery and consulted with a different doctor about the same time as my friend. I felt the risks were too high and opted for this WOL the same day my friend had her surgery. I have always felt that this was right for me. My sister had the surgery 1 1/2 years ago (with a wonderful surgeon) and everything has gone beautifully for her.

[tgill32177]

Kathryn,
I am so heartbroken to hear of your loss and the pain that this family is going through. Our true friends are the few earthly treasures we have in this life. My prayers go out to you and this family in your time of loss. God will see you through!
Be blessed,
Tanya

[aneredac]

I too, wish to add my condolances on the loss of your friend.
Death is always hard to take, but to have it happen from a surgery that is questionable in the first place, and possibly botched in the second place is a horrible experience.

I have a friend who is considering the surgery. She has diabetes and Fibromialgia and thinks the surgery would help both those conditions.
I hope that my success on Atkins might help her change her mind. At least she is not thinking of doing it soon.

Again, I am so sorry that this happened.

Rena

[hatetocook]

Kathryn,

My thoughts & prayers are with you and your friends' family.

[KristyC]

How terribly sad! :( I will be praying for her family.

[Tiggerdy]

Such a terrible loss! You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

Nikki

[Marebear]

Kathryn,
I am so sorry for you and her family and friends. What a sad story. My heart goes out to all of you. :cry:
Take care,
Mary

[SusieQQ]

My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your friends family. Just remember to dwell on the special person your friend was and continue to make your journey happen.

By telling your story we will all have the courage to move on in our journey and let the world know that we do not need this surgery with it's
unsure results.

Your friend was special and she will live in your heart and mind forever.

Susan :cry:

[DarB]

Oh God Katheryn,
I don't know what to say...I can only tell you that I am so sorry to hear of your friend...I thought of my best pal when I read your post, and I culdn't bear it....
Nothing any of us say or do will make it better but we can hold your hand and give you hugs...
:bhug:

[ketodiva]

I am so sorry for your loss. Friends are the family we choose. May God be with you in your time of sorrow. I too had considered the surgery after having three doctors suggest it. But I decided in Feb. to start this WOE and thank God it is working. Stay strong. We're here if you need us.

[tulips]

That is too tragic!! I'll pray for you and her family. I hope that Dr. is reported...how inhumane!

[Just Me]

http://www.1000deaths.com/cards/crying-angel.jpg
What can I say to you? I can only tell you honestly that I immediately cried for this 'stranger' who I didn't even know. I really hate hearing about these kinds of losses, and it pains me personally because I know of the anguish she must have endured in order to have chosen the surgery in the first place.

You never mentioned her age, how old was she? I'll pray that her husband and children will be able to get through this senseless tragedy in their lives.

It also angers me to hear of how someone's life was shortened, not only because of her personal pain of living over weight in our airbrushed, anorexic society, but by a surgeon's calloused, and I'll suspect loathing, attitudes towards his patient(s).

I work within the medical profession, and I worked in an operating room with the Anesthesiologists and Surgeons prior to this job I hold today. Oh, if only you knew half of what I heard both sets of doctor's say about their overweight patients, let alone the obese ones, you'd be sick! It was appalling! Sure, many say they, the surgeons, have to be arrogant to an extent in order to be able to 'cut' into someone, but where's their heart? Don't they have common decency and respect for life? At the time I worked there, I was at my highest weight of 317 and I was extremely aware of how these patients felt humiliated and dehumanized by the surgeons and staff; just to stripped naked for the surgery in front of them was enough!

I am SO ANGRY over this death! It was needless. I hope the family goes after this surgeon, not for vengeance, but vindication. Nothing will repair the large chunk of heart missing within each of you now Kathryn! That lost piece of your heart will ache in quiet memory of her forever, and for that you have my deepest sympathy.

[liz175]

I am so sorry for your loss. I certainly understand how someone can be desperate enough to undergo weightloss surgery, but this story shows that it isn't the "easy" solution that many doctors claim it will be.

[AntiM]

I want to add my tears to the well... My condolences to you, and for her family, too. I hate that she experienced so much pain and discomfort from just trying her best to improve her health. You know she was probably pretty excited after making the decision to have the surgery ... hoping this would work, and then suffering one complication after another.

On Dr. Phil last month, they were talking about WLS, referring to a new popular medical term: GBGB = "Gastric Bypass Gone Bad". With all the ads for surgery programs at all the local hospitals, this is becoming a more and more popular choice. While every person needs to make their own decision regarding healthcare choices, I think the the more information out there regarding possible bad outcomes, the more informed that choice could be.

Again, my sympathies.

[DayStar]

We cannot always understand. But we can accept, and live, and love again.

Praying for you and your friends family.

[alighterme]

Thanks to all of you who posted...it has been a comfort hearing from so many. My friend would have been 52 next week, and yes, she was very excited about the surgery. She weighed 400 lbs and given that she hung on for so long tells me she would have survived the surgery okay if not for the infection from the leaks. If this doctor had done a simple leak test before allowing her to eat or drink anything, this would not have happened. He was arrogant enough to think that a leak test wasn't necessary!?! and it cost Linda her life. God bless you all.

Love,

[DayStar]

It won't bring your friend back, but this doctor needs to learn a lesson.

Hope her family gets the best wrongful death attorney in town and reams him a new one.

Maybe I should be more spiritual ?

May the Lord bless this doctor with the same love that he gave to his patients ;)

Sorry. Some doctors killed my grandmother, so I have a pet peeve here....

[josiekat]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and her family.

Hugs,
Jo

[ALEKA]

Katheryn--What a tremendous loss--my heart goes out to you and her husband and children. There is so many things in life that just doesn't seem fair--but then no one ever said life would be fair. It is hard to know what to say during times like these but please know my thoughts and prayers are with you all. As for the so called doctor--part of a doctors oath is " to do no harm " This jerk, instead of admitting his error went on and made a bad situation get worse. He deserves not only to be sued but to have his license removed as well. Be gentle with yourself at this time and hang onto the beautiful memories of your friend. That will help you through this rough period. God Bless you all--Aleka

[alighterme]

A few days after her surgeries to stop the leaks and attempts to remove the infection, the new hospital filed a formal complaint against the original hospital for their treatment (or lack thereof) of Linda. As a result, the hospital suspended this doctors priviledges to perform this surgery in their hospital.

Her husband is filing suit against the doctor. I pray he has the strength to get through it.

[JYounginer]

I hate to hear about your loss and will keep her family and friends in my thoughts and prayers. My mother and I were just discussing the surgery the other week, she's wanting to go forward with it, and I fear that something like this could happen.

I agree that her family should take legal action and get the word out about just how dangerous this type of surgery can be.

Take Care,

[Marchstart]

That is so very sad......Im so sorry you lost your friend.....
certinaly is an eye opener......to what drastic measures we take to make our bodies "perfect" in our minds.....
my thoughts and prayers go out to you and her family!

[saski]

How awful for you and her family! My thoughts are with you as you deal with this tragedy.

[ALEKA]

Katheryn- Thanks for the come back. Glad to hear that the hospital filed a complaint. Someone also should contact the Medical Board for physicians in your state and log a complaint against this guy. I sure hope your friends husband goes after this guy in his suit. Were it a member of my family I would spread his name to all who would listen just to prevent this from happening to any other person. Take care Katheryn--God Bless--Aleka

[Signey]

Dear Kathryn,
To lose someone you care about in this way is so terrible, because mixed with the grief there is rage. I hope this family and you have a strong support network that can help you all through this time. The feelings of betrayal and of a failed system must be overwhelming. Words are so inadequate in this situation. I would hug you if I could.
Peace be with you,
Signey

[feather]

My heart goes out to you. I lost my neice when her car was run over by a bus, on the same day as your freind died. My neice's death was caused by bad luck, a wandering dog and inexperienced drivers. Which is difficult to deal with, but not as bad as the anger you and your friend's family must be feeling. Your friend placed her trust and life in the hands of strangers, expecting so much and recieving so little. I hope your friend's family find the strength to follow through with the action necessary to stop these dangerous people.
I also hope people learn to keep their damn dogs under control, and not let them wander across busy highways.

[alighterme]

feather,
How awful...I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your niece. What a senseless tragedy. My heart goes out to you.
Love,

[ALEKA]

Feather & Kathryn--Just me again. Want to tell feather that My thoughts and prayers are with her too and keeping you in them too Katheryn. Signey gave you some good advise when she said that she hoped that you all had some good support during this time. Guess the same applies to you Feather. God be with you both --with love--Aleka

[Onmyway63]

How terribly, terribly sad. My heart goes out to you and your friends family. As well as to you and your family Feather.

Please remember the happy times spent with your friend and know that there are many people who care.

I also will pray for strength for you and yours.

My sincere sympathy...Lynn

[ohmissy]

I am so very sorry for your loss. What happened to her was entirely preventable and that is the real tragedy.

May I ask - what type of surgery was it? RNY? Duodenal Switch?

Also, if you don't mind one more bit of nosiness, which surgery are you considering?

I belong to several weight loss groups and hearing of our brothers and sisters who lose their lives so needlessly is heart-breaking.

Is your friend on the obesityhelp site? They have a memorial section if you want to honor her that way.

Take care.

[alighterme]

dee,
My friend had the open RNY. I was considering Lap RNY, but the doctor (not the same dr as my friend) discovered that I have an inherited bleeding disorder which put me at high risk for blood clots and/or excessive bleeding so I decided against the surgery in December and started a low fat diet on January 14th and then switched to Atkins on April 3rd. My risks are just too high to ever reconsider surgery.

[gotaloseit]

Please let me add my condolences, know that my prayers are with you and I know that your heart must be truly broken, please take care of yourself now as a memorial to your friend, she would have wanted you to succeed in your goals!!!!

[LCchickFL]

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. I also had a friend w/severe complications. She spent 6 months in the hospital after her procedure and came home w/a tracheotomy and a colostomy in addition to the WLS.
:( In years to come we'll be looking back on this procedure and thinking we were in the dark ages.

[ALEKA]

Feather and Katheryn--Just me again wondering how you are doing by now. Am keeping you in my prayers--God Love Ya--Aleka

[alighterme]

Hi Aleka,

Doing okay. Just got back from vacation and kept very busy. Thanks to all for keeping me in their prayers.

[Wenzday]

Atkins is my last attempt before the surgery but..maybe not :( I would hate to orphan my babies!

I am so so sorry you lost your friend.

[Ronell]

You know, i'm about to start bawling.. About 4 years ago, I was going through the "process" of getting g.b.s.... I was 2 months away from having it done when things at my job went down hill and I left.. Leaving behind my insurance that was going to pay for it. My older sister (7 years older) who was my only "non-supporter" of this process, had it done almost 2 years ago March. She had complications during surgery which almost took her life, AND 3 months after surgery, she had MORE complications and continues to....

My heart goes out to you, and your friends family. I am truely sorry for your loss...:cry:

[alighterme]

I'm sorry to hear of your sister's complications...I hope she makes a full recovery soon. My sister had the surgery 1 1/2 years ago and she did very well with the surgery, except, now she has a rapid heartbeat, palpitations, and a heart murmur, which may or may not be related to the surgery. She must take iron, calcium, multivitamin, potassium and Toprol to control her rapid heartbeat daily. She is constantly fatiqued and is always cold.

At this point, I will FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT to lose this extra weight, but will never again consider that surgery!

[leasmom]

That could've been me...I was scheduled to have the surgery but it was cancelled right before. I knew of one lady that died of this surgery and of others that had great sucesses.

I am really sorry for your loss...